Carrie Nelson, an Ivory skinned redhead had only been in Toronto a year, but she was able establish her practice. She quickly became a respected member of the Psychologist community. She had moved from New York and left her teaching position at Columbia in hopes of slowing down and focusing more on her practice and research. Her field of study was trauma, and she had worked closely with the US Military treating PTSD in returning soldiers. Carrie wasn't happy in New York. The secondary trauma due to working with such complex trauma cases had finally caught up with her. She took the advise of her close friend Holly King and went on sabbatical. She was an amateur painter. She planned to use this time to travel around Europe and indulge this hobby while figuring out what she wanted to do next. Carrie had been very successful in New York but the lack of work-life balance had brought her to this point. She wanted a family but at this rate she would never meet anyone who would fulfill that void. Holly had been living in Toronto for several years. Carrie liked the area whenever she went to visit Holly and her family. So when Holly said come, Carrie was at the perfect point in her life to pick up and relocate herself. She had fallen into working on a new cable TV show. She had done some consulting on a few films while in New York, but it was not something that she had a desire to make as a career. Carrie's reputation had followed her regarding her ability to help writers dig deep in their characters and make more true to life dialogue. She was in the writer's room describing what a character's trauma could look like and the types of choices that could be made when she met the Executive Producer Tina Kennard.
Tina Kennard was very hands on with the entire production, something that is not seen very often. Carrie had heard that this was her first big production. The success or lack there of would make or break her career, but this was nothing new in the film/TV industry. Tina had shown herself to be a very competent professional and would often participate in the writer's room. Over time Carrie and Tina became friends. It was nice having someone as new to the area as she was to share weekend adventures exploring. She found out quickly, Tina was well versed in the Arts and loved going to museums and art galleries. Carrie had picked up that Tina was married and had a child. Tina was a very private person and spoke little of her personal life. Carrie was very surprised to learn that Tina's wife was Bette Porter, the renown art consultant that was known for finding new artists and giving them their first break. As an amateur artist, Carrie had become friends with many artists. On several occasion she had been to the Gallery in New York that used to be co-owned by Bette Porter. Her friends would from time to time talk about trying to show their work to Bette Porter. Bette was said to be the talent behind the Gallery and made all decisions regarding the art. Wentworth, the other owner, was said to not be very knowledgeable about art and focused her attention on the parties and the glamor. Carrie's artist friends repeated a rumor that Wentworth and Porter had a falling out after Wentworth had spread false rumors about Porter to improve her standing in the New York Art Community. The gossip Carrie heard from several of her friends indicated that the rumors spread by Wentworth went so far as to insinuate that Porter had made aggressive overtures towards Wentworth. Soon after, the name Porter was removed from the gallery and the prestige went with it. When Carrie returned to New York, she had heard the Gallery had closed.
Carrie never asked many questions about Bette, but she was very curious about what she was like. Carrie learned that Tina and Bette were estranged. Anything mentioned about Bette Porter would quickly result in Tina shutting down and often going home. An off limit subject to say the least, but Carrie new from experience that responses like Tina's indicted much more below the surface. As Tina became more comfortable with Carrie, she spoke more often of her daughter. Tina and Angie had a standing call every night no matter what was going on or what they were doing. Angie had spent a few months living with Tina when she initially moved to Toronto. Tina's schedule and Angie's difficulties assimilating into her new environment lead to Angie eventually moving back to Los Angeles with her other mother. Carrie respected the time Tina spent with Angie, she had thought it would be difficult to be so far away from your own child.
The new show Golden Chalice, had taken off. The ratings had been regularly off the charts and it was rumored that an Emmy Award may happen. The production went on hiatus and Tina went home to Los Angeles. Carrie moved her focus back to her practice and research. Carrie had no plans to return to the production the following season, it had taken to much of her time and focus. Carrie was very surprised when Tina came back early and said she was getting divorced. They had spent the rest of the hiatus together and when Tina returned for the production of the second season they where an established couple. Carrie was self assured and easily navigated her work and personal relationship with Tina. She provided a never ending supply of emotional support for Tina but was very pragmatic in her approach to Tina's family. Angie came up to Toronto their first summer as a couple and Carrie met her for the first time. Angie was standoffish and was clearly not happy about their relationship. Carrie had tried to be friendly but backed off when Angie showed she was not having any part of it. Angie was being loyal to her other mother. Carrie could understand Angie's difficult and confused position, so she gave Angie room to express her feelings. Angie came up one more time the following year, but Angie and Tina spent most of their time together, without Carrie.
Carrie didn't know much about Tina's old life in Los Angeles. She knew that Tina and Bette lived there for several years prior to moving to New York. Carrie had gathered that Tina had not been back in Los Angeles long before she took on the Executive Producer job. Tina would from time to time mention people, such as Alice who was some kind of Pod Caster, Kit who was Bette's older sister, Helena a wealthy socialite that Carrie met once and Shane a very famous hair stylist. Shane would stop in Toronto to see Tina for a quick visit when she was in Canada, but Carrie had never met her. Tina had mention once that Shane was family and was glad to have this special time with her. Tina had said she felt less like an outsider when Shane visited.
Carrie quietly held Tina and listened to her words that were heavy with grief the night Tina showed up at her apartment distraught over the death of Kit Porter. Tina had revealed that she had a close familial relationship with Kit and struggled with what she should do. Tina desperately wanted to go to Los Angeles and be supportive to Angie and of course Bette. She also wanted the support from them and her other friends. Tina's divorce had just finalized and she felt that it would be confusing for Bette if she showed up. Carrie thought something different. She had already picked up that Tina struggled with the separation from Bette, but she was sure there was something more to it. Tina would say her marriage was over and eluded to a history of events that turned their relationship into a dysfunctional mess. Carrie couldn't put her finger on it. But, it didn't make much sense when Tina would blame Bette for taking to much room in the relationship. Carrie saw Tina as a very strong and self assured woman. Tina had shown to be very capable in her new role as Executive Producer and Carrie would not have been surprised if Tina was already on the radar for other productions. She couldn't understand how Bette would not acknowledge Tina's talent and successes or for that matter marginalize Tina in their relationship. But Carrie was not in the relationship, she didn't know Bette and so naturally she supported Tina in her perspective of Bette and their marriage. Carrie had kept it to herself that she thought it a bad idea that Tina did not go to the funeral. She knew this would be something that would impact Tina for a long time. Carrie was more sure of this, when Tina took off to the mountains unexpectedly by herself the day of the funeral.
It had only been about two years since Tina and Carrie had met and less than a year since they had been dating. They had moved in together during the 2nd season's production. Carrie was sure of what she was feeling for Tina and knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. But, she was concerned about Tina's relationship with her family. Carrie had brought up her concerns multiple times about Tina not completely resolving her feelings about Bette, but Tina consistently said she had moved on from that toxic relationship. Tina was clear that the only thing binding Bette and her together was their child, Angie. She had said they would always be a family, but her feelings had changed regarding Bette. Tina was just a couple years older than Carrie and for the most part they shared the same values. There were differences in their views, at time this caused problems but Carrie was clear about her needs. Carrie easily negotiated things that didn't impact her directly. Carrie had trusted Tina's definitive statements about Bette and their relationship enough to belief she was ready to take the next step with Tina. Carrie thought from all appearances, that Tina seemed to be in the same place. Carrie had expressed her feelings for Tina on multiple occasions, telling Tina that she had captured her heart. They had gotten in the habit of playing a one ups of each other by saying I love you and I love you more. So, when Carrie decided to propose, she was sure Tina would agree to marriage. Carrie planned an elaborate dinner, as she was a very good cook. She had set the mood with romantic music and candles. Tina got home a little late that night. She was surprised but enjoyed the ambiance, attention and appreciated the time Carrie took to plan the dinner. When Carrie bent her knee and showed her the ring, Tina was speechless. Carrie at first thought she had misread the level of their relationship. As the silence became heavy, Carrie became more nervous about her proposal. But then, Tina smiled and said yes. They celebrated with champagne and a long night of love making. Carrie was clear about what she wanted in life and was happy that Tina Kennard had agreed to be a permanent part of her life journey.
Carrie had been working late at her office the night Tina received the call from Angie. Tina was working on the outskirts of Toronto and it was not uncommon for them to go all day without talking to each other. Carrie new that the last few days had been rough for Tina. The the production still had several weeks to go, so she waited for Tina to call her. Carrie was mildly concerned when she had not heard from Tina the previous evening. She had called several times in the morning leaving a voicemail and texting but heard nothing. It was only when she called Shelly Arkass, Tina's assistant, that she had learned that Tina had left the shooting location unexpectedly. Shelly hadn't known much other than there was a family emergency and Tina had to get to Los Angeles as soon as possible. Shelly said Tina's plane had already landed and was sure Tina would call as soon as she could. Carrie had waited several hours before she started calling again. Finally Tina answered. Their call was short and didn't go well. Carrie wanted to know if everything was ok, if Tina was ok and if Tina had seen Angie. Tina gave an excuse that she couldn't talk, apologized for not calling before she left and also said she had not seen Angie yet. Carrie didn't push, but she knew that Tina was with her ex-wife, other mother to her child, someone Tina had not seen in over a year, Bette Porter. Carrie only heard from Tina one more time when she called to ask if she wanted to be on the phone when Bette and Tina told Angie about the engagement. Carrie couldn't understand how Tina thought this a good idea. Tina was very much aware of the difficult relationship Carrie had with Angie. A few days later, Tina left a voice mail giving Carrie the information on her arrival in Toronto the same night.
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Carrie had become concerned with the change in Tina's behaviors since her return from Los Angeles. It was obvious Tina had a difficult time in Los Angeles, and Carrie wasn't sure how best to support her.
"I don't know what happened in Los Angeles, but it seems to me that something is bothering you. I don't want to push but I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm okay. A lot of things happened in Los Angeles, and I am still trying to sort it all out."
"Tina, I'm really worried about Angie. We already have a complicated relationship. It wasn't surprising that she wasn't overjoyed about the engagement. I wouldn't want to come between the two of you or have her come between us."
"I know, I didn't expect her reaction either, but I think Angie just hasn't had time to get to know you. We'll make time for all of us to be together to work this out when we get to Los Angeles."
"You know you can talk to me about anything. I know I don't know much about your family, but I can listen."
"It's just difficult being so far away. It's hard to belief so much has changed in a year," Tina sighed. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore."
Carrie had been watching Tina very closely. She didn't quite buy Tina's explanation. She was pretty sure whatever was going on with her had to do with her ex-wife. She could tell Tina was holding back, she just didn't understand why. Carrie knew if she pushed, Tina would become more defensive and nothing would get resolved.
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Carrie and Tina didn't see much of each other over the next couple weeks. The production was behind schedule mainly because the success of the show brought a new found celebrity to the two main actors. It had gone to their heads and they where under the misconception that they had a say in the direction of the show. Tina had to be on set everyday to keep it from falling further behind. In the film industry, time is big money. Carrie wrapped up her work on her research project early. This gave her a lot of time to think about things especially what was going on between her and Tina. She had confided in her old college friend, Holly King, about her concerns and the pending move to Los Angeles. The plan was to sublet the apartment in Toronto, while they were in Los Angeles. Tina had hoped they could purchase a home while on hiatus, but Carrie wasn't so sure this was a good idea at this time.
"Tina is just hard to read right now. I know something is wrong, but she isn't ready to talk about it."
Holly King was like a sister to Carrie. She knew Carrie almost as well as she knew herself. Carrie was never one to mince words and Holly was surprised that Carrie was struggling with talking to Tina about how Carrie felt. "What is stopping you from telling Tina, you don't want to live in Silver Lake? Just be honest with her about being uncomfortable and the fear of being caught in the middle of her family drama." Holly suggested to Carrie.
"She has been hard to talk to since her return. Something just doesn't feel right. I don't know her family well enough to even speculate what happened."
"Do you think her going home and being around her family and friends may have changed her mind about getting married?"
"No, I think it's something else, but I'm not sure. She was definitely impacted by something that happened in Los Angeles. I'm just guessing, but I think it's even more than that. She is so irritable and argumentative. This is a side of her I have never seen and I really don't like."
"What do you mean?"
"She is angry about something or someone and I am not even sure if she knows she is angry. But she is definitely not herself."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet. I really appreciate you being a sounding board. You know me, I'm not usually insecure about things, but really, this has thrown me for a loop."
"I know Carrie, I can see you are really struggling with this. Ya know you can call me anytime."
Production finally ended. Tina mentioned that Bette had lost the election and she wasn't clear how the arrangements would work out with Angie. She said everything had changed and for the first time Carrie noticed Tina was including Bette. A few days later, Carrie over heard Tina's and Angie's conversation. She wasn't sure what Angie was telling Tina but whatever it was, it unsettled Tina. When Carrie mentioned what she had heard and asked if she was alright, Tina said it was nothing. Tina had become more and more distance and Carrie's concerns grew. Carrie against her better judgment reluctantly agreed to go to Los Angeles but she indicated that she was not on board with purchasing anything at this time. Carrie had noticed that Tina wasn't fazed by Carrie slowing things down to get a better handle on what was gong on. Nothing had been resolved in Carrie's mind and Tina's emotional state was becoming a bigger problem than she had foreseen. Tina continued to show her emotional turmoil, but didn't recognize it herself. Carrie was in love with Tina and hoped her concerns were baseless. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but she was going to Los Angeles to meet Tina's family and friends.