"Bella? Will you talk to me?" I asked softly, entering her room.
She didn't move from her fetal position on her armchair. I walked around the chair to face her. She was very pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She was unbearably thin and seems like a strong gust of wind would blow her away.The late evening light barely lit up the dark room and made her look rather ghost like. She could have actually been dead and I probably wouldn't notice for the way she had been acting lately.
I flicked on her desk lamp and she flinched, but was otherwise unresponsive. With the way she looked and acted, I almost wouldn't be surprised to wake up one morning and find that she had turned into a zombie or ghost or some other creepy thing. But I certainly hoped not, vampires and werewolves were enough supernaturalness to deal with.
"Bella, it's almost Christmas. Dad is worried about you." I said.
She just blinked and turned away.
I sighed in exasperation. "Please Bella. Dad would be really happy if you would get up and talk to us. Especially for Christmas. You haven't been here for Christmas in years."
She mumbled something to quietly for me to hear.
"What did you say?" I leaned forward.
"He's gone. He left. They left without me." She whispered.
"Bella, that was months ago. This isn't healthy! He isn't coming back! You can't stay like this forever!" I exclaimed. It was like she was hypnotized but worse.
When he first left Bella in the woods I was sympathetic towards her. It was understandable that she was upset and not herself-her boyfriend had left her without a warning or a second thought. But after four months of irrational and zombie like behaviour, I was fed up.
That got a rise out of her and she glared at me. "You always hated him. You're probably glad he's gone." She turned away.
This was probably the most she had spoken at one time since he left.
"Bella please. Just for Christmas. For Dad." I begged.
She didn't move.
I plopped down on the edge of her bed. "The entire time you've been here you've been with Edward or mooning over him. Do you know how happy Dad was when he heard you were coming? He couldn't shut up about it!"
She winced when I said his name but didn't seem to hear the rest of it. I felt like grabbing her and shaking her until she spoke. Instead I got up to leave.
I stopped with my hand on the door handle. "You should at least try to be back to normal. You are hurting everyone around you and all you can think of is how your boyfriend broke up with you."
As usual she didn't respond so I left. Every few days I tried talking to her with the same results and it was driving me up the wall. I had tried everything from begging to shouting to pleading and bribing. Nothing ever worked.
I decided to take a shower to relax. I grabbed my pyjamas and headed for the bathroom.
When I reached for my shower gel and shampoo I found Bella's instead. Her strawberry scented shower gel. The same shower gel that had plagued me for months. Because of my allergy to strawberries, I couldn't stand anything strawberry. Just another wedge between Bella and myself. I laughed bitterly to myself.
After locating my coconut scented body wash and shampoo I scrubbed hard at my body until I collapsed in a heap. The hot water flowed over my back as I sobbed. All my pent up emotions spilled over and came pouring out all jumbled up. My dislike for Edward, my frustration about Bella, the secret about the pack, my conflicted emotions about mom, and the hurt about Bella brushing me off so often. Everything that had been hurting inside me for months finally hit a tipping point.
I probably sat there crying for fifteen minutes before moving. I stood up slowly, rinsed my hair and shut the water off. I dried off, got dressed and went to my room.
I lay down and stared at the ceiling. Dad wasn't back from work yet, but there were leftovers in the fridge that he could heat up when he got home. I curled up with my quilt wrapped tightly around me. All I wanted was Jacob right now. He was the only part of my crazy life that stayed consistent and happy. He could always be trusted to make me smile. I eventually fell asleep but was woken up by Bella's screaming at midnight. I stepped out of my room to go to her but Dad waved me to bed on his way to her room.
In the morning I headed to town to pick up a present for Jacob. He had mentioned a want for car wax to polish his projects, but he never got around to getting any. So off I went to the hardware store to pick up a bottle of turtle wax.
So far I had gotten a present for everyone else and they sat wrapped in my closet. I wrapped my gifts with extra paper or rags to mask the shape to confuse people. I got a little police dog key chain for Dad, Jane Eyre for Bella, a bracelet for Nina, matching caps for Quil and Embry, a wooden spoon for Emily and cookies for Paul and Jared. Dad and I mailed a card to mom a week ago.
On Christmas Eve Dad and I, along with Bella opened our presents for each other around the Christmas tree. It was a small celebration with shortbread cookies and sparkling juice. Bella sat on the couch for half an hour before excusing herself upstairs.
Before bed that night I stopped by the phone. A feeling that I should call mom came over me. Before thinking to hard about it I dialled her number. The phone rang three times before it was answered.
"Hello? This is Renee." Mom's voice sounded through the phone.
"Hi Mom. Merry Christmas Eve." I scuffed my toes against the floor and leaned against the counter.
"Liana! How is Bella? She hasn't called me in months!" Mom exclaimed.
I sighed. "Bella is not doing great. She is still depressed, she's just sitting and doing nothing."
"Oh, that's too bad. Well tell her and your dad that I said Merry Christmas." She said.
"I will mom. I guess that's all," I mumbled.
"Ok. Bye then. Nice to hear your voice." Mom hung up before I could say goodbye.
"Bye mom," I said to the empty air. I sighed and hung up the phone. This was why I didn't call mom very often. She tended to be distracted or ask how Bella was. I didn't rank very high on her list of priorities it seemed. I know that Bella was much closer to our Mom, or at least she used to be.
The next day Billy and Jacob came over for the day. We had a Christmas celebration with the four of us as we had for a couple years now. Bella didn't come downstairs even though dad asked her to. Dad and Billy sat in the living room each with a plate of goodies on their lap and a can of beer in hand.
Jacob and I went outside and threw snow at each other until I was out of breath. After catching my breath I walked up to Jacob and kicked the tree right next to him. All the snow came pelting down and landed on our heads. We then spent a good hour kicking and shaking trees to see who could make the most snow fall. Jacob won of course.
We came inside and had lunch before opening presents. I gave Dad and Jacob their presents and they both liked them. I had also baked a plateful of oatmeal nut cookies just for Billy.
Jacob gave me a photo album for my pictures. Dad gave me an empty roll of film which I greatly appreciated as my current one was almost full. Billy gave me a beautiful notebook that had a carefully designed leather cover. I didn't usually write much, but I would try and use it just because he gave it to me.
Before supper Jacob helped me with stetting the table and getting the food out. The turkey that I had put in earlier was done and unburned. I was quite pleased. This was the first fancy meal I had cooked on my own and so far it had turned out well.
"How're Rachel and Rebecca doing? Have you heard from them at all? I haven't seen them since Rebecca's wedding."I asked Jacob.
"Umm, Rebecca is in Hawaii with her husband and Rachel is off at college. They don't call very often, but Rachel called yesterday to say Merry Christmas and Rebecca sent us a letter and a picture of her and her husband." He said.
I nodded. His older sisters had left La Push as soon as they could. Apparently the memories of their mother were to strong for them to stay. I could understand, but I knew that Billy and Jacob missed them a lot.
Jacob put the turkey on the table for me and I put the mashed potatoes on.
"Liana, I was wondering if..." Jacob began and turned in time to see me trip over a stool in the kitchen. I was moving to put the corn on the table and when I fell the hot vegetables spilled all over me and the floor.
"Ow, ow, ow," I hopped up and brushed myself off.
"Are you okay?" Jacob laughed, reaching for me.
"What's happening?" Dad shouted from the living room.
"I fell and dropped the corn. But everything's fine," I called back. "Let's get this cleaned up."
Jacob got the broom and swept the mess up. "I thought Bella was supposed to be the clumsy one," he laughed.
"Yeah well, I have my moments," I said groaning. My left shoulder really hurt from the fall and I expected to see a big bruise later on.
Bella came down for supper but she barely said anything and only poked at her food. The rest of us carried on a conversation and ate heartily. Jacob had three large helpings of everything, which Dad commented on.
"I don't know where you're putting that Jake. You must have a hollow leg or something," he said.
"I'm a growing boy I guess," Jacob shrugged.
"That's for sure. You've grown six inches since the summer," Dad leaned back and patted his stomach. "That was really good Ana."
"Thanks Dad."
I had noticed that Jacob was shooting up in height. I just came up to his shoulder now and I wasn't all that short. His arms were definitely more muscular now too and the rest of him was also well filled out. I shook my head to snap myself out of staring at him.
"Well, that was good. I doubt I'll need to eat for a week." I said, jumping up and putting my plate in the sink to hide my blushing face.
"Mmm hmm. But I don't think I'll have that problem," Jacob agreed.
When it was time for them to leave Jacob wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He felt strong and warm and smelled nice.
"I'll see you soon," he promised.
"Of course," I nodded. He pulled back and hopped in the truck and drove away.
Dad raised an eyebrow at me. "Something you want to tell me?"
"No Dad! That was just a hug. We are definitely not going out or anything," I denied, but my face flushed pink again. There was nothing going on with me and Jacob. Right?