Dan stands at the bedroom window of the apartment, his arms wrapped around his chest. His fingers delicately trace the material of Phil's shirt, which sits quite largely on his frame, only but making it more comforting. He fumbles for a box of cigarettes, before a strong pair of arms wrap around him from behind, Phil's face burying into the crook of his neck.
"I don't think so" Phil says quietly, gently taking the box from Dan's hand and leaning over slightly to place it on the bed. "You're quitting now, remember?"
"Really?" Dan complains jokingly, turning his head slightly to face Phil.
"No more cigarettes" Phil says, placing a small box in Dan's hand, which he briefly looks at.
"Really?" Dan says yet again, laughing slightly. "Phil, vaping is for edgy teenagers, not nicotine-addicted adults"
"You're nineteen Dan, not fifty" Phil laughs, and Dan rolls his eyes. "Also, it's better for you than cigarettes. You're using it, okay?"
Dan sighs before laughing lightly and nodding.
"Can we go out today?" He asks, smiling when Phil nods.
"Where to?"
"I was thinking we could go to a shopping centre- look around a bit, get some food" Dan suggests.
"Of course" Phil smiles, burying his head in the comfort of Dan's shoulder again. "You've never said that, y'know?"
Dan raises and eyebrow.
"Said what?"
"That you want to get food"
It's silent for a moment, the thought running through their minds.
"I want it now" Dan simply says, not understanding the impact of his words on Phil's absolutely glowing heart, his lips curling upward into a proud smile.
And, in this moment, there's only one thing on his mind.
He is so glad that they both made it.
~~~
"Really, Phil?"
"Yes Dan, we are not leaving this house until we've put up this tree and baked cookies" Phil says sternly, his arms crossed.
Dan laughs, his face full of admiration at how secretly childish Phil is.
"What flavour cookies?" He asks, a smile plastered across his face, causing two dimples to make an appearance.
"Cinnamon, duh" Phil says, his eyes softening at the dimples set in Dan's cheeks.
He'd never seen Dan smile much, and now all that he hopes for is that he can see it over and over again. He never wants to forget how his eyes light up slightly as his lips curve upwards gently, he never wants to forget how those dimples make him melt like butter, he just never wants to forget Dan like this. And, despite all of this, there are only two words that come to mind.
"You're cute"
Dan blushes, a soft pink colour painting his cheeks and Phil rolls his eyes, simply in disbelief at how Dan could've just gotten even prettier. He steps forward, pressing their lips together for a second before smiling back at him.
"I love you, Dan"
Dan looks slightly up at Phil, catching his lip in between his teeth whilst desperately trying not to smile even wider.
"I love you more"
They both look at each other for a moment, simply enjoying the fact that they're here- that they can finally rest, just appreciate each other.
"Cookies!" Phil orders, and Dan laughs, making his way into the kitchen.
He stares over the cookie recipe, nodding.
"Seems pretty easy"
"This is us, Dan" Phil reminds him. "We aren't exactly masters at this thing"
"It's flour, butter, eggs, sugar and cinnamon, Phil" Dan says, taking the ingredients from the cupboard. "How hard can it be?"
"Don't forget the vanilla extract!" Phil says excitedly, placing the bottle on the counter. "And frosting- we are putting frosting on our cookies"
"You really thought I wouldn't want frosting?" Dan tuts, taking it from the fridge. "Everyone loves frosting"
Phil gets out a large bowl, and they start measuring the ingredients, tipping them into the bowl one by one whilst dan mixes religiously.
"My arm hurts" He says, the mixing definitely classifying as a workout.
"You're barely even doing anything!" Phil laughs, tipping the butter into the bowl.
"It's a strenuous thing, Phil"
"Weak" Phil teases.
"I'm not weak!" Dan pouts, trying to mix harder just to prove his point.
"It's probably because you're a bott-"
"Phil!" Dan gapes, playfully elbowing him in the arm as he chuckles quietly.
"I'm not wrong" Phil says, shrugging.
"Shh, it's done now" Dan says, ignoring Phil's laughter and sighing with relief as he lets the spoon fall against the side of the bowl.
"I'll put it in the fridge" Phil says, placing the bowl in the fridge and getting out small, christmas tree shaped cookie molds.
"They're christmas trees?" Dan exclaims.
"Of course"
"You're so extra" Dan smiles. "How long do we have to wait?"
"An hour" Phil groans, setting a timer on his phone. "Can we put up the tree while we wait?"
"Please" Dan says. "I think standing here waiting for an hour would kill me"
Phil laughs, stepping into the living room and picking up the christmas tree box. Despite his apparent christmas enthusiasm, the tree has lived in that box for the past three years, but that's something Phil would prefer Dan not to know.
After all, he feels more like celebrating now.
He smiles as Dan helps him to pull the branches from the box, placing the base on the carpet and attaching the tree to it. Phil watches as Dan pulls the branches apart, the clear focus on his face making Phil smile wider. Eventually, the tree stands decorated and proud in the corner of their living room, 'Elf' playing on the TV in the background as they admire their work from the sofa.
"That was the first time I've ever put up a christmas tree since I was five" Dan says, smiling sadly.
Phil looks over at him, a frown on his face. And, then, he smiles.
"Now you get to put one up every year" He says, pulling Dan closer towards him.
Dan smiles back, all traces of sadness gone. And then, suddenly, Phil jumps up.
"The star!" He exclaims, grabbing it from a box. "I can't believe we forgot"
Dan laughs, standing up and admiring it. Phil reaches his arm out, placing it in Dan's hand.
"Go on" He says, gesturing to the tree.
"Am I supposed to make a wish or something?" Dan asks, laughing lightly.
"That's only shooting stars unfortunately" Phil chuckles, smiling widely. "But make one anyway"
Dan nods, walking over to the tree and placing the star on the top of the tree.
And, although you're not supposed to, his eyes drift to Phil, and he makes a wish.
"What'd you wish for?" Phil asks.
"Can't tell you" Dan says teasingly. "Or else it won't come true"
Suddenly, a loud sound rings throughout the room, alarming them that twenty minutes had passed, and the cookies were ready. Phil had put the batter into the molds whilst Dan was busy with the tree, and put them in the oven to bake.
"Cookies!" Dan sings excitedly, running toward the kitchen.
"See, I told you they're important!" Phil calls after him, pulling a pair of oven mits onto his hands and taking the tray from the oven.
Dan reaches for the tub of frosting, impatiently popping off the lid and taking a small amount with a spoon.
"Uh uh, not yet" Phil says, shaking his head. "They need to cool"
Dan laughs, putting the spoon into his mouth.
"I know" He says. "It's just good"
"Give me some" Phil says, taking the spoon from Dan's mouth and dipping it back into the tub.
"Phil!" Dan exclaims, grabbing the spoon back- and, in the process, splattering the frosting all over his face.
They both stare at each for a second, open mouthed, before bursting into loud laughter.
"This is so fucking cliche" Dan laughs, reaching a hand to his face to wipe off the frosting.
"No!" Phil shouts, and Dan freezes. "Let me do it the cliche way"
Phil pouts, and Dan rolls his eyes playfully, blushing. Phil leans into Dan, kissing the tip of his nose and cleaning the frosting off in the process. Dan laughs at the cheesiness of the situation, his hand resting on Phil's shoulder as his lips move to his jawline. Dan raises an eyebrow, wondering if Phil's intention really is just to clean off the frosting at this point.
"I don't recall any of the frosting going there, Philip Lester" Dan says, smirking.
Phil rolls his eyes, placing a quick kiss on Dan's cheek and leaning back.
"You're right" Phil says. "It's all gone now"
Dan laughs, turning back to the cookies and scooping out the frosting, taking it in turns with Phil to apply it to the cookies. He sighs, a heavily comforting scent of cinnamon in the apartment. He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the heating, the sound of the movie in the background, taking in another breath of cinnamon... this is what home feels like.
---
hello kiddos
soooo i think the last chapter of this book will be either chapter 44 or 45? u do not understand how sad i am for this to end, i love writing it so much
anywayssss, let me know what you thought of this chapter, they aren't exactly long chapters but any sort of feedback is veryyyy helpful lol
also since we're almost at the end of the story, give me any suggestions you want to see before it ends! i might not use them all, but i can try to fit it in if it fits with the chapter!
anyway ty for reading as alwaysss and ill see u next time
(i should get the new chapter/s out by sunday! don't forget to come read them!)