"Did you have fun with your friends?" Joey asked me as he poured me a glass of water.
"I actually need to talk to you about that," I said.I needed to break up with Joey, I've cheated on him multiple times already, and he doesn't deserve this. He's a good guy, he's sweet, loving, and I really care for him.
I think if I didn't have some weird feelings for Xander, and if I wouldn't have cheated last night, he and I would have been happy together, and I would have soon fallen in love with him.But I made some bad mistakes, that I can't even make up for.
"What? Did something happen between you and your friends? You didn't come home last night, I was worried."
I patted the seat next to me on the couch, signaling for him to take a seat next to me, he seemed to be growing more concerned, as the silence filled the room."Last night, I got really drunk, I don't even remember much. I just remember going into the bar, getting really drunk, and meeting this guy. We ended up going into a private room, I later found out that it was Xander. After that, it's pretty much blank. I woke up this morning, in Xander's house, in his bed, naked. I think I slept with him. No. I know I slept with him. I am so sorry Joey, I care for you so much, but something happened last night that I can't explain, I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I don't deserve you, you are an amazing human, and you don't deserve to be treated like this. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. But I didn't want to never tell you, that would be even worse." I said.Joey sat silently on the couch, staring ay me, not saying a word. I didn't want to say anything else. I was waiting for him to say something, but after waiting for a few minutes, still, he was silent. I didn't move, neither did he."I trusted you, we've had issues with this before Megan! How could you?!" Joey yelled.He stood up from the couch and started to pace back and forth. "I am so sorry Joey, I fucked up. I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I'm not asking you to stay with me, I just had to tell you.""I can't do this anymore! For fuck's sake Megan, you've done this twice now!"I sighed. "I know, I get it.""No, you don't!""You don't understand! You've broken my heart way too fucking much. I can't do this anymore. We're done." Joey said before grabbing his coat and storming out of my apartment.
I've truthfully never seen Joey so mad. His eyes were filled with rage. Hurt. Disgust.
He's right, this is the second time I've done it to him. I've apologized dozens of times by now. Joey shouldn't forgive me. I am a horrible person. I continue to hurt him over and over.
Joey was excited that I was moving out of the house, because I was finally getting away from Xander. And I knew this just broke his heart. Joey confessed his loves me no longer than a week ago. I couldn't say back, and I knew Joey was hurt from that. But he understood.
Now, I just shattered his heart. I told him when I left, that I had no feelings for Xander. I don't. Except for hatred.
Xander has continuously hurt me. He's threatening me, he has beat me, and he has raped me.
And I continuously go back to him. But no more. I can't deal with his antics anymore. I need to leave everything behind. I need to start a new life.
I need to forget about everything. I need to forget about the murders, and everything that Xander put me through.
I have a need to forget about Joey. I need to finish up school. I haven't gone in over a year. I need to make it up. I need to go to college, and I need to get a job. I need to move on.
I can no longer be caught in Xander's web. In Xander's lies.
He wants to leave me behind. And so be it. If he wants to leave me behind, and forget about me, I'll do the same.
He is still sending me money, so I'll be fine. I'll be able to get online schooling, and move on with my life for good.
A Month and A Half Later
"So how is the schooling been going?" Staci asked me.
"It has been really good. I'm trying to go as fast as I can. And hopefully I'll be able to graduate within a year or two. Do it online is speeding everything up." I replied.
"You know, you have this thing about you. This last few weeks, I've noticed something different about you. You seem so much more cheerful, it's almost like you have a glow on you. I'm really happy that you're moving on. Especially from that horrid life that you used to have."
I never really told Staci the whole truth. I just told her that I came from an abusive ex, and that my whole family had died. I didn't go into too much detail, and I didn't tell her my real name. She knows my name is Megan, but I didn't tell her in my last name.
" A glow? Somebody said that to me a few days ago." I said.
"You know, we should go out tonight. Party. We didn't get to hang out with you a month ago. The last time we went. You totally disappeared!"
"Sorry about that, I met up with my ex. We ended up hooking up."
Staci looked at me completely shocked. She rolled her eyes. She seemed disappointed.
"Come on Megan. He hurt you! I hope you use protection. You don't want to get pregnant by that asshole. That would ruin your life."
I don't know what it was. But her saying that word, pregnant, felt like a ton of bricks just fell on top of me.
I was pregnant before. By Xander. And everything went to hell. I lost my baby. All because of him.
" Megan? Are you OK?" She asked me. I looked at her.
I shook my head multiple times. Remembering the night that Xander and I slept together. I remember waking up the next morning. Feeling that stickiness between my legs.
"Oh no. You're giving me that same look my friend gave me before she got pregnant. Please tell me that you use protection with him." Staci said. It was almost like she could read my mind. She knew what was going on.
She didn't have to say anything else, neither did I. She grabbed my hand, and we continued walking quicker. We passed the bakery that we were playing need to go to, and she walked us right into the pharmacy next door.
About 20 minutes later, me and her got to my apartment. She shoved me in to the bathroom and threw the test box at me.
"Take the test. Now." Stacy said with urgency. I don't get why she was so concerned about this. It wasn't like it was her baby, or that it was any of her business.
I wasn't upset with her at any reason. But I just thought it was weird.
" OK, OK. Calm down. Go wait in the living room. I don't like an audience while I use the bathroom." I told her. Staci nodded, before exiting the bathroom.
I quickly took the test, not believing I was pregnant. There was no way.
It couldn't have been a second time. That would be retarded. But my life is so screwed up, why not add something else to it? And of course if I was pregnant, it would be Xander's. Joey and I are very protective when we have sex.
And we've only done it a few times, so it would make no sense. I was praying, as soon as I took the test, that I wasn't pregnant. It would ruin my life. And I would have to walk right back into Xander's.
"Are you done? Can I come in?" Stacy asked as she knocked on the door lightly.
"Come in," I replied. Within a second later, Staci walked in. She walked over to the test, and picked it up looking at it.
"How long till we know?" she asked me.
Before I could even answer her, my phone went off. The three minute timer that I had said, was now done. Before Staci, or I could say anything. She looked down at the test and saw the answer to the question.
Was I pregnant? Was running through my mind.
"Staci , am I pregnant?" I asked her quickly. I need to know the answer.
Staci looked up at me, horror was struck in on her face. She didn't even have to say anything. I knew the answer.
"I'm so sorry Megan. I know you don't wanna go back to him. You don't have to tell him. He'll never have to know. You can get an abortion. Put it up for adoption. You can do anything you want." She said quickly.
I shook my head no. I knew what I had to do. My baby wouldn't be safe, and I don't want to get an abortion, or put it up for adoption. I knew if anybody found out, they would come straight away for me. Kill me, and my child. I had to do what was right.
I had to go back to Xander...