All It took was one look into those big, cerulean blue eyes for Bucky's whole life to change.
It wasn't unusual for Bucky to find another boy attractive. But it had taken him meeting Steve for him to start to wonder if all those simple observations about one's muscles being nice or wishing his jaw was as chiseled as another's were, well, simple observations. After all, no boy had ever set Bucky on fire like this. No one had ever done this.
And it was starting to become an issue.
The more time that Bucky spent with Steve, the more adorable the blond became. Like how Steve's alabaster cheeks turned the cutest shade of pink that warmed Bucky straight to the core as though he had just drank some coffee -- no, something sweeter, hot chocolate. Or the way that when Steve concentrated, the tip of his tongue poked out between his pillowy lips.
Bucky was ashamed by the fact that he had dreamed about those pillowy lips more than once. What they would feel like against his own. The way that they would look wrapped around him...
Shaking his head, Bucky made himself pause. He removed the borrowed keys from his pocket and then paused. Wondering if he should knock. Just in case. After all, just because Sam was gone, it was Steve's room too.
But no, Sam had given him the key because Steve was at his class. That was the whole reason for it. Glancing down at his almost dead phone, he fit the key into the lock easily and opened the door.
Which was the biggest mistake he made because there, reclined on his bed, was Steve jerking himself off. Thick ropes of white come spurted from his hard cock and onto his flushed stomach. A stark contrast with each other that tattooed themselves on the inside of Bucky's eyelids.
His heart was pounding so aggressively in his chest that it felt like it was going to break through and reenact all the recent fantasies he had been having of his new friend. And -- oh god, oh fuck -- Steve was his friend! He trusted him to be that, a friend!
Quickly snapping back to himself, Bucky covered his eyes and called out, "Oh, fuck! I'm sorry!" Bumping into the door and causing it to close with him on the wrong side of it. Trying again, he managed to get the door open and stumbled out of it before slamming the door closed.
Breathing erratically, Bucky tried to calm down. Then, he couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him in hysterics. Wondering if this was what Steve felt whenever he had an asthma attack. Hoping that it wasn't, since it sucked.
Removing his phone from his pocket, he used the five percent battery life to send a quick text to Sam, I THOUGHT STEVE HAD CLASS!
Glancing at the dorm room, his heart slammed still in his ribcage when he was able to see how debauched Steve looked. Certain that the way his blond hair was attractively mussed and his cheeks were flushed was already rewriting his imagined self. Because, of course, Steve had to be a reminder that his imagination was shit and lacking.
"Um," Bucky held up Sam's keys, "Sam said that you had class and that I could let myself in to get my charger."
"Oh," Steve nodded, avoiding Bucky's gaze. Still blushing as he held the door open, letting Bucky into his dorm, "My lecture was canceled today."
"Oh," Bucky dumbly repeated, heading over to Sam's desk where his charger was. Briefly wishing Steve wasn't home so he could put shaving cream in Sam's bed or replace all of his pens with ones out of ink. Maybe mismatch his socks.
However, Steve was there, and while that normally would've excited Bucky, he didn't want to necessarily get excited. At least not after he embarrassed himself and walked in on his friend mid-orgasm.
And, oh, he snapped back to himself. That one thought echoed inside his head. Friend. That one little word and Bucky's heart slipped down into his stomach. Just that one word brought the moment into harsh perspective. They were friends. They were only friends.
It took a moment for Bucky to realize that he didn't want that. Perhaps he never had. But he was still trying to understand this himself. After all, Bucky had only dated girls. Not consciously only choosing girls. He just liked the attention from pretty girls.
Bucky glanced over at Steve and amended: pretty people. Because Steve was just about the prettiest person Bucky had ever seen. Sure, Bucky had always had a thing for petite blonds. But did any of them have the smattering of freckles on Steve's high cheekbones? Did any of them get that adorable v between their brows when they thought? Or have such artistically beautiful hands as he did?
And, oh, was Bucky Barnes fucked.
Keeping his attention on his charger, Bucky reluctantly headed for the door. Over his shoulder, he called out, "I'll see you around!"
For a moment, Bucky thought about turning back and trying to pretend that nothing had happened. But Bucky wasn't sure if he could ever do that. Not with Steve's chin tilted up and his mouth open in a nearly silent scream of ecstasy. No, that would definitely be looping in his mind later when he could get his own hand around himself.
Until then though, Bucky needed some advice. So, he headed for Bridgette's. After all, she was a bright girl and perhaps she could help him considering she, herself, was discovering and exploring her own sexuality. Of course, Bucky was the luckier one in this instance. At least his crush wasn't his roommate.
Glad to see the door open, Bucky let himself in and blurted, "I THINK I'M GAY!"
Bridgette's manicured brow quirked and her mouth dropped open in her surprise by the outburst. Shifting in her computer seat so her legs were underneath her, she tucked a wayward blonde strand behind her ear and she asked, "And you think this because...?"
"I have a crush," Bucky explained, sitting down on her messy, unmade bed. To himself, he quietly reiterated, "I have a crush?"
This amused her as she sing-songed, "On who?"
"Steve," Bucky quietly admitted even though it was just the two of them.
"Wait," Bridgette climbed off her computer chair and sat across from him on the twin size bed, "Art Class Steve?"
Bucky blushed again. Not remembering what he had told her about Steve. Even more embarrassing though, Bucky couldn't remember how many people he had told about Steve. Trying to mentally count the people. Bridgette, obviously. Darren, from calculus. Clint, duh. Tibby, which meant he also told his mom. And he was certain that if he brought up Steve's name to his other sisters, they'd definitely complain.
As the list got longer the more Bucky knew he couldn't hide his crush. Pretty soon, the whole world would know, all because Bucky couldn't keep his mouth shut when it came to Steve. The more he thought about it, the more he decided that it wasn't the worst thing in the world to know that Bucky had a crush.
"Yes, Art Class Steve," Bucky confirmed.
Bridgette's grin grew and she shimmied her shoulders with her excitement, "Yay! I knew you had a crush on him, but I wasn't going to say anything because I'm not the type to do that. So, what's the plan?"
"Plan?" Bucky's brows furrowed.
"Yeah," Bridgette clarified, "Ya know, what're ya gonna do? Gonna ask him out? Make a move? Anything?"
"I don't even know if he's into guys," Bucky admitted, his face heating and his stomach twisting in knots. Even softer, he said, "I don't even know if I'm into guys."
"Well, clearly you like Steve," Bridgette deduced. Bucky nodded and she asked, "Have you ever been attracted to other men? Or is it more about the person's personality?"
Bucky wracked his mind. On more than one occasion, he had spent too long looking at the boy band posters on his sisters' walls. And maybe, he had had fantasies about Zac Efron. Especially after he had gotten buff for that Nicholas Sparks' movie.
"Maybe it's a little bit of both?"
Bridgette gave his knee a comforting squeeze and graced him with a fond smile, "It's okay if you don't know."
"Thanks," Bucky smiled, placing his hand over hers. Then, of course, he added, "Full disclosure, I'm still attracted to women."
"That makes two of us," Bridgette good-naturedly teased and winked at him.
Just then, Natasha entered the dorm room and threw herself down on her bed. The affection that took over Bridgette's face was more obvious than if she had written Mrs. Bridgette Romanoff on her notebook. Then, Bucky wondered if he was that obvious. Until he got this all figured out, he really hoped he wasn't. Even more so since he didn't know Steve's sexuality.
Natasha looked between the pair and asked, "Am I interrupting something? Because I can leave."
Checking his watch, Bucky climbed off the bed and assured, "No, I gotta get to class. See you guys later."
"Bye!" The girls said in unison.
All through his physics class, the only thing he could think about was Steve. How could he ask the blond out without (a.) scaring him away and (b.) without letting the blond know what his feelings were. After all, he knew he needed to get a grip of his own feelings before trying to bring him in. Especially if it could ruin their budding friendship.
Turning, he spotted a pretty blonde sizing him up. Bucky could feel himself ease into the guy that he had always appeared to be: the Ladies Man. He wasn't as inexperienced with girls as he was with boys. Plus, it didn't hurt that she seemed interested. If Steve wasn't into guys, at least he wouldn't be completely alone.
No matter how shitty that kind of thinking was.
After class, Bucky loitered at the exit until the blonde met him. She gazed up at him as though he dazzled her. Bucky clarified, "Jessica, right?"
"Right," she seductively bit at her lower lip, purposely drawing Bucky's gaze there.
Bringing his sight up to her eyes, Bucky smiled, "Have you heard about the Stark Expo?"