* * *
ELARA KNEW SHE WAS THE WEAPON, BUT WHAT DID 'THE SAVIOR' MEAN? her responsibilities were already so much, and now she was 'the savior'? is that what praedo malorum meant? what new things would she have to do? is that why she was the 'particularly powerful seer'? how is harry wrapped up in all this? how did harry get wrapped up in all this? is this why dumbledore hasn't spoken to them in ages? what other things about herself has been kept from elara?
"are you all right, harry, elara?" whispered mrs. weasley, as the train rattled along through its dark tunnel. "you two don't look very well. are you feeling sick?"
they were all watching the pair. harry shook his head violently and stared up at an advertisement for home insurance. elara just shrugged.
"are you sure you're all right?" said mrs. weasley in a worried voice, as they walked around the unkempt patch of grass in the middle of grimmauld place. "you two look ever so pale. . . . are you sure you've slept this morning? you go upstairs to bed right now, and you can have a couple of hours' sleep before dinner, all right?"
elara didn't have any time to answer before she staggered into another vision. she woke up a a few hours later in time for dinner. ron and ginny insisted elara was the one to bring harry down for dinner.
she begrudgingly went up the stairs and down the hall.
"harry," said elara from the doorframe. "dinner's ready — and i know you're awake, so don't pull that 'i'm asleep' bullshit on me. i still hate you, but you're not alone. 'til the end or whatever..." elara trailed off the last part as she turned to go downstairs.
everybody spent the following morning putting up christmas decorations. elara could not remember sirius ever being in such a good mood; he was actually singing carols, apparently delighted that he was to have company over christmas. elara could hear his voice echoing up through the floor in the cold and empty drawing room where she was sitting alone, watching the sky outside the windows growing whiter, threatening snow, giving herself a further sense of peace.
"lara, your bracelet's fallen off," said ginny as they set the table.
"oh, it has, hasn't it?" said elara offhandedly, setting down the plates.
it was around six o'clock in the evening that the doorbell rang and mrs. black started screaming again. hermione had arrived, and was confused as to why harry wasn't downstairs. on the way up to buckbeak's room (where harry was presumably hiding), elara explained what had happened. elara hammered on the door for a few seconds.
"get your ass out here," said elara begrudgingly. "hermione's here, and if your done acting like an edgy, misunderstood, misfit teenager, she'd like to talk to you."
hermione sent her a sharp look. elara shrugged.
"what are you doing here?" harry asked hermione, pulling open the door, as buckbeak resumed his scratching at the straw-strewn floor for any fragments of rat he might have dropped. "i thought you were skiing with your mum and dad."
"well, to tell the truth, skiing's not really my thing," said hermione. "so i've come for christmas. there was snow in her hair and her face was pink with cold. "but don't tell ron that, i told him it's really good because he kept laughing so much. anyway, mum and dad are a bit disappointed, but i've told them that everyone who's serious about the exams is staying at hogwarts to study. they want me to do well, they'll understand. anyway," she said briskly, "let's go to your bedroom, ron's mum's lit a fire in there and she's sent up sandwiches."
elara led the way back to the second floor. ron and ginny were already waiting for them, sitting on ron's bed. elara took a seat next to ginny, leaving hermione to sit next to harry.
"i came on the knight bus," said hermione airily, pulling off her jacket before harry had time to speak. "dumbledore told me what had happened first thing this morning, but i had to wait for term to end officially before setting off. umbridge is already livid that you lot disappeared right under her nose, even though dumbledore told her mr. weasley was in st. mungo's, and he'd given you all permission to visit. so . . ."
hermione sat down next to harry.
"how're you feeling?" asked hermione.
"fine," said harry stiffly.
"oh, don't lie, harry," she said impatiently. "lara, ron, and ginny say you've been hiding from everyone since you got back from st. mungo's."
"they do, do they?" said harry, glaring at elara, ron, and ginny.
ron looked down at his feet but ginny and elara were quite unabashed.
"well, you have! you don't see me shutting everybody out!" said elara.
"and you won't look at any of us!" said ginny.
"it's you lot who won't look at me!" said harry angrily.
"maybe you're taking it in turns to look and keep missing each other," suggested hermione, the corners of her mouth twitching.
"very funny," snapped harry, turning away.
"oh, stop feeling all misunderstood," said elara sharply. "it's getting really annoying."
"look, the others have told me what you overheard last night on the extendable ears —"
"yeah?" growled harry, interrupting hermione. "all been talking about me, have you? well, i'm getting used to it. . . ."
elara glared at him.
"because we're concerned about you, you idiot — "
"we wanted to talk to you, harry," said ginny, "but as you've been hiding ever since we got back —"
"i didn't want anyone to talk to me," said harry.
"okay, captain edgelord," said elara angrily, "you're not the only one in this room who's been affected by voldemort. i'm the fucking 'savior' or whatever... and ginny's the only person that any of us know who's been possessed by you-know-who, so she can tell you how it feels. if you don't shut the hell up about this 'i'm all alone' attitude, i'm going to strangle myself. go ahead, gin."
elara trailed out the room, slamming the door behind her. she passed a mirror and noticed her hair had begun to turn red. she stomped down the stairs, glaring at each portrait she passed. throwing herself in a chair, the adults peered at her.
"its just like james and lily," said sirius with an ambivalent expression. "but, they need to wait until the end of the school year, i'm not losing my money!"
the tarnished chandeliers were no longer hung with cobwebs but with garlands of holly and gold and silver streamers; magical snow glittered in heaps over the threadbare carpets; a great christmas tree, obtained by mundungus and decorated with live fairies, blocked sirius's family tree from view; and even the stuffed elf heads on the hall wall wore father christmas hats and beards.
elara awoke on christmas morning to fred and george standing above her, whacking pots and pans.
"we're doing presents together this year," said george bitterly and promptly apparated out the room, presumably downstairs.
"what's wrong with him?" said elara as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.
"hasn't seen or snogged rori in a week," said fred. "her parents jetted her off to france. he's pretty bitter."
"relationships are stupid. where's gin and hermione?"
"all waiting for you," said fred with a smile. "you sleep like the dead."
everyone was, in fact, downstairs waiting. aunt meda, uncle ted, and nymphie had joined the festivities and were looking quite nervous. seeing as elara was still waking up, she wanted everyone to go before her. the morning was quite fun despite elara's still ever burning dislike for harry at the moment. all seemed to be forgotten as everyone tore through their presents like ravenous dogs. when elara finally went, she received a book about quidditch from ron that was most definitely was bought with the hope it'd be re-gifted to him, new combat boots from a muggle brand called doc martens from uncle ted, a book titled how to get away with murder from nymphie, a planner that sung constant reminders from hermione, vintage vinyls from aunt meda, and a beautiful navy-blue sweater from mrs. weasley.
"alright," said elara, "is it breakfast time — "
"hold on, lara," said uncle ted, looking more than nervous, "there's one more for you."
everyone was suddenly incredibly attentive as aunt meda slipped an important-looking beige folder from her bag and handed it over to elara. she gave aunt meda, who was chewing on her fingernails, uncle ted, who was fiddling with his thumbs, and nymphie, who was bouncing her leg, all strange looks as she opened up the folder and slipped the singe piece of paper out.
CERTIFICATE OF ADOPTION
this is to certify that
elara callisto lestrange
has been formally adopted
into the tonks family
by andromeda tonks and ted tonks
on this twenty-third day of december
signed andromeda tonks signed ted tonks
elara's eyes watered. there was no way this was real. did she actually have a real family now? her lower lip quivered as she read the printed words over, and over again. her heart swelled with each read. this was real. this was happening. tears flowed down her face until she burst out.
"it's alright, you don't have too if you don't want — "
elara wasn't able to speak through her tears and instead threw her arms around andromeda, ted, and nymphie. when elara finally calmed, she pulled away, wiping her eyes. she felt as if she was walking on pure air.
"i suppose i have to call you 'mum' and 'dad' now, then?"
once they had had their christmas lunch, the weasleys, the tonks, harry, and hermione were planning to pay mr. weasley another visit, escorted by mad-eye and lupin. mundungus turned up in time for christmas pudding and trifle, having managed to "borrow" a car for the occasion, as the underground did not run on christmas day. the car, which elara doubted very much had been taken with the knowledge or consent of its owner, had had a similar enlarging spell put upon it as the weasleys' old ford anglia; although normally proportioned outside, fourteen people with mundungus driving were able to fit into it quite comfortably. mrs. weasley hesitated at the point of getting inside; elara knew that her disapproval of mundungus was battling with her dislike of traveling without magic; finally the cold outside and her children's pleading triumphed, and she settled herself into the backseat between fred and bill with good grace.
the journey to st. mungo's was quite quick, as there was very little traffic on the roads. a small trickle of witches and wizards were creeping furtively up the otherwise deserted street to visit the hospital. elara and the others got out of the car, and mundungus drove off around the corner to wait for them; they strolled casually toward the window where the dummy in green nylon stood, then, one by one, stepped through the glass.
the reception area looked pleasantly festive: the crystal orbs that illuminated st. mungo's had been turned to red and gold so that they became gigantic, glowing christmas baubles; holly hung around every doorway, and shining white christmas trees covered in magical snow and icicles glittered in every corner, each topped with a gleaming gold star. it was less crowded than the last time they had been there, although halfway across the room elara found herself shunted aside by a witch with a walnut jammed up her left nostril.
"family argument, eh?" smirked the blonde witch behind the desk. "you're the third i've seen today . . . spell damage, fourth floor . . ."
they found mr. weasley propped up in bed with the remains of his turkey dinner on a tray in his lap and a rather sheepish expression on his face.
"everything all right, arthur?" asked mrs. weasley, after they had all greeted mr. weasley and handed over their presents.
"fine, fine," said mr. weasley, a little too heartily. "you — er — haven't seen healer smethwyck, have you?"
"no," said mrs. weasley suspiciously, "why?"
"nothing, nothing," said mr. weasley airily, starting to unwrap his pile of gifts. "well, everyone had a good day? what did you all get for christmas? oh, harry — this is absolutely wonderful —"
for he had just opened harry's gift of fuse-wire and screwdrivers. mrs. weasley did not seem entirely satisfied with mr. weasley's answer. as her husband leaned over to shake harry's hand, she peered at the bandaging under his nightshirt.
"arthur," she said, with a snap in her voice like a mousetrap, "you've had your bandages changed. why have you had your bandages changed a day early, arthur? they told me they wouldn't need doing until tomorrow."
"what?" said mr. weasley, looking rather frightened and pulling the bed covers higher up his chest. "no, no — it's nothing — it's — i —"
he seemed to deflate under mrs. weasley's piercing gaze.
"well — now don't get upset, molly, but augustus pye had an idea. . . . he's the trainee healer, you know, lovely young chap and very interested in . . . um . . . complementary medicine. . . . i mean, some of these old muggle remedies . . . well, they're called stitches, molly, and they work very well on — on muggle wounds —"
mrs. weasley let out an ominous noise somewhere between a shriek and a snarl. lupin strolled away from the bed and over to the werewolf, who had no visitors and was looking rather wistfully at the crowd around mr. weasley; bill muttered something about getting himself a cup of tea and andromeda, ted, fred, and george leapt up to accompany him.
"do you mean to tell me," said mrs. weasley, her voice growing louder with every word and apparently unaware that her fellow visitors were scurrying for cover, "that you have been messing about with muggle remedies?"
"not messing about, molly, dear," said mr. weasley imploringly. "it was just — just something pye and i thought we'd try — only, most unfortunately — well, with these particular kinds of wounds — it doesn't seem to work as well as we'd hoped —"
"meaning?"
"well . . . well, i don't know whether you know what — what stitches are?"
"it sounds as though you've been trying to sew your skin back together," said mrs. weasley with a snort of mirthless laughter, "but even you, arthur, wouldn't be that stupid —"
"i fancy a cup of tea too," said harry, jumping to his feet.
sensing what was about to happen, elara, hermione, ron, and ginny almost sprinted to the door with him. as it swung closed behind them, they heard mrs. weasley shriek, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?"
"typical dad," said ginny, shaking her head as they set off up the corridor. "stitches . . . i ask you . . ."
"well, you know, they do work well on non-magical wounds," said hermione fairly. "i suppose something in that snake's venom dissolves them or something. . . . i wonder where the tearoom is?"
"fifth floor," said harry, remembering the sign over the welcome witch's desk.
they walked along the corridor through a set of double doors and found a rickety staircase lined with more portraits of brutal-looking healers. as they climbed it, the various Healers called out to them, diagnosing odd complaints and suggesting horrible remedies. they only shut up when elara threatened to hex them.
"what floor's this?"
"i think it's the fifth," said hermione.
"nah, it's the fourth," said harry, "one more —"
but as he stepped onto the landing he came to an abrupt halt, staring at the small window set into the double doors that marked the start of a corridor signposted spell damage. a man was peering out at them all with his nose pressed against the glass. he had wavy blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a broad vacant smile that revealed dazzlingly white teeth.
"blimey!" said ron, also staring at the man.
"oh god," groaned elara.
"oh my goodness," said hermione suddenly, sounding breathless. "professor lockhart!"
their ex-defense against the dark arts teacher pushed open the doors and moved toward them, wearing a long lilac dressing gown. "well, hello there!" he said. "i expect you'd like my autograph, would you?"
"hasn't changed much, has he?" harry muttered to elara, who struggled with herself before giving him a pained grin.
"er — how are you, professor?" said ron, sounding slightly guilty.
"i'm very well indeed, thank you!" said lockhart exuberantly, pulling a rather battered peacock-feather quill from his pocket. "now, how many autographs would you like? i can do joined-up writing now, you know!"
"er — we don't want any at the moment, thanks," said ron, raising his eyebrows at harry, who asked, "professor, should you be wandering around the corridors? shouldn't you be in a ward?"
the smile faded slowly from lockhart's face. for a few moments he gazed intently at harry, then he said, "haven't we met?"
"er . . . yeah, we have," said harry. "you used to teach us at hogwarts, remember?"
"teach?" repeated lockhart, looking faintly unsettled. "me? did i?"
and then the smile reappeared upon his face so suddenly it was rather alarming. "taught you everything you know, i expect, did i? well, how about those autographs, then? shall we say a round dozen, you can give them to all your little friends then and nobody will be left out!"
but just then a head poked out of a door at the far end of the corridor and a voice said, "gilderoy, you naughty boy, where have you wandered off to?"
a motherly looking healer wearing a tinsel wreath in her hair came bustling up the corridor, smiling warmly at harry and the others.
"oh gilderoy, you've got visitors! how lovely, and on christmas day too! do you know, he never gets visitors, poor lamb, and i can't think why, he's such a sweetie, aren't you?"
"we're doing autographs!" gilderoy told the healer with another glittering smile. "they want loads of them, won't take no for an answer! i just hope we've got enough photographs!"
"listen to him," said the healer, taking lockhart's arm and beaming fondly at him as though he were a precocious two-year-old. "he was rather well known a few years ago; we very much hope that this liking for giving autographs is a sign that his memory might be coming back a little bit. will you step this way? he's in a closed ward, you know, he must have slipped out while i was bringing in the christmas presents, the door's usually kept locked . . . not that he's dangerous! but," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "bit of a danger to himself, bless him. . . . doesn't know who he is, you see, wanders off and can't remember how to get back. . . . it is nice of you to have come to see him —"
"i can't," said elara desperately, knowing full well what she'd have to face. "i can't — i'm sorry — "
but the healer was smiling expectantly at them, and elara's attempts were settled as hermione pushed her along the corridor after lockhart and his healer.
"let's not stay long," ron said quietly.
the healer pointed her wand at the door of the janus thickey ward and muttered "alohomora." the door swung open and she led the way inside, keeping a firm grasp on gilderoy's arm until she had settled him into an armchair beside his bed.
"this is our long-term resident ward," she informed elara, harry, ron, hermione, and ginny in a low voice. "for permanent spell damage, you know. of course, with intensive remedial potions and charms and a bit of luck, we can produce some improvement. . . . gilderoy does seem to be getting back some sense of himself, and we've seen a real improvement in mr. bode, he seems to be regaining the power of speech very well, though he isn't speaking any language we recognize yet. . . . well, i must finish giving out the christmas presents, i'll leave you all to chat. . . ."
elara looked around; this ward bore unmistakable signs of being a permanent home to its residents. they had many more personal effects around their beds than in mr. weasley's ward; the wall around gilderoy's headboard, for instance, was papered with pictures of himself, all beaming toothily and waving at the new arrivals. he had autographed many of them to himself in disjointed, childish writing. the moment he had been deposited in his chair by the healer, gilderoy pulled a fresh stack of photographs toward him, seized a quill, and started signing them all feverishly.
"you can put them in envelopes," he said to ginny, throwing the signed pictures into her lap one by one as he finished them. "i am not forgotten, you know, no, i still receive a very great deal of fan mail. . . . gladys gudgeon writes weekly. . . . i just wish i knew why. . . ." he paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. "i suspect it is simply my good looks. . . ."
a sallow-skinned, mournful-looking wizard lay in the bed opposite, staring at the ceiling; he was mumbling to himself and seemed quite unaware of anything around him. two beds along was a woman whose entire head was covered in fur. at the far end of the ward flowery curtains had been drawn around two beds to give the occupants and their visitors some privacy. elara's heart sank into her stomach.
"here you are, agnes," said the healer brightly to the furry-faced woman, handing her a small pile of christmas presents. "see, not forgotten, are you? and your son's sent an owl to say he's visiting tonight, so that's nice, isn't it?"
agnes gave several loud barks.
"and look, broderick, you've been sent a potted plant and a lovely calendar with a different fancy hippogriff for each month, they'll brighten things up, won't they?" said the Healer, bustling along to the mumbling man, setting a rather ugly plant with long, swaying tenta- cles on the bedside cabinet and fixing the calendar to the wall with her wand. "and — oh, mrs. longbottom, are you leaving already?"
elara's head spun round. the curtains had been drawn back from the two beds at the end of the ward and two visitors were walking back down the aisle between the beds: a formidable-looking old witch wearing a long green dress, a moth-eaten fox fur, and a pointed hat decorated with what was unmistakably a stuffed vulture and, trailing behind her looking thoroughly depressed — neville.
elara cast around wildly for some means of distracting the others so that neville could leave the ward unnoticed and unquestioned, but ron had looked up at the sound of the name "longbottom" too, and before elara could stop him had called, "neville!"
neville jumped and cowered as though a bullet had narrowly missed him.
"it's us, neville!" said ron brightly, getting to his feet. "have you seen? lockhart's here! who've you been visiting?"
"hey, neville," said elara weakly, very much wanting to throw up.
"friends of yours, neville, dear?" said neville's grandmother graciously, bearing down upon them all.
neville looked as though he would rather be anywhere in the world but here. a dull purple flush was creeping up his plump face and he was not making eye contact with any of them.
"ah, yes," said his grandmother, looking closely at harry and sticking out a shriveled, clawlike hand for him to shake. "yes, yes, i know who you are, of course. neville speaks most highly of you."
"er — thanks," said harry, shaking hands. neville did not look at them, but stared at his own feet, the color deepening in his face all the while.
"and you two are clearly weasleys," mrs. longbottom continued, proffering her hand regally to ron and ginny in turn. "yes, i know your parents — not well, of course — but fine people, fine people . . . you must be hermione granger?"
hermione looked rather startled that mrs. longbottom knew her name, but shook hands all the same. mrs. longbottom struggled with herself before addressing elara.
"... and you must be elara lestrange — "
"actually, it's elara tonks now," said elara weakly. "i've uh — i've been adopted as of this morning."
"oh," mrs. longbottom's features relaxed. "yes, neville's told me all about you. helped him out of a few sticky spots, haven't you? he's a good boy," she said, casting a sternly appraising look down her rather bony nose at neville, "but he hasn't got his father's talent, i'm afraid to say. . . ." and she jerked her head in the direction of the two beds at the end of the ward, so that the stuffed vulture on her hat trembled alarmingly.
"what?" said ron, looking amazed (elara wanted to stamp on ron's foot, but that sort of thing was much harder to bring off unnoticed when you were wearing jeans rather than robes). "is that your dad down the end, neville?"
"what's this?" said mrs. longbottom sharply. "haven't you told your friends about your parents, neville?"
neville took a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling, and shook his head. elara could not remember ever feeling sorrier for anyone, but she could not think of any way of helping neville out of the situation.
"well, it's nothing to be ashamed of!" said mrs. longbottom angrily. "you should be proud, neville, proud! they didn't give their health and their sanity so their only son would be ashamed of them, you know!"
"i'm not ashamed," said neville very faintly, still looking anywhere but at elara and the others. ron was now standing on tiptoe to look over at the inhabitants of the two beds.
"well, you've got a funny way of showing it!" said mrs. longbottom. "my son and his wife," she said, turning haughtily to elara, harry, ron, hermione, and ginny, "were tortured into insanity by you-know-who's followers."
elara blanched, fighting the tears in her eyes. hermione and ginny both clapped their hands over their mouths. ron stopped craning his neck to catch a glimpse of neville's parents and looked mortified.
"they were aurors, you know, and very well respected within the wizarding community," mrs. longbottom went on. "highly gifted, the pair of them. i — yes, alice dear, what is it?"
neville's mother had come edging down the ward in her nightdress. she no longer had the plump, happy-looking face elara had seen in moody's old photograph of the original order of the phoenix. her face was thin and worn now, her eyes seemed overlarge, and her hair, which had turned white, was wispy and dead-looking. she did not seem to want to speak, or perhaps she was not able to, but she made timid motions toward neville, holding something in her outstretched hand.
"again?" said mrs. longbottom, sounding slightly weary. "very well, alice dear, very well — neville, take it, whatever it is. . . ."
but neville had already stretched out his hand, into which his mother dropped an empty droobles blowing gum wrapper.
"very nice, dear," said neville's grandmother in a falsely cheery voice, patting his mother on the shoulder.
but neville said quietly, "thanks mum."
"er — mrs. longbottom," said elara to neville's mum, desperately wishing for some form of closure.
"its no use, dear — "
but neville's mum looked towards elara. some recognition seemed to shine through her woefully clouded eyes and they widened in fear.
"no," said elara quickly, "i'm not her — i just wanted to say — i'm so sorry. i wish i could've done something — "
his mother gave a movement that slightly resembled a nod and tottered away, back up the ward, humming to herself. neville looked around at the others, his expression defiant, as though daring them to laugh, but elara did not think she'd ever found anything less funny in her life.
"well, we'd better get back," sighed mrs. longbottom, drawing on long green gloves. "very nice to have met you all. neville, put that wrapper in the bin, she must have given you enough of them to paper your bedroom by now. . . ."
but as they left, elara was sure she saw neville slip the wrapper into his pocket.
the door closed behind them.
"i never knew," said hermione, who looked tearful.
"nor did i," said ron rather hoarsely.
"nor me," whispered ginny.
they all looked at harry and elara.
"i did," said harry glumly. "dumbledore told me but i promised i wouldn't mention it . . ."
"it's part of what my mum — my aunt — got sent to azkaban for, using the cruciatus curse on neville's parents until they lost their minds," said elara quietly.
"your m — aunt did that?" whispered hermione, horrified.
"she's not my family," said elara defiantly. "it — it makes me so sick to think she brought me along — "
"she brought you with her?" said hermione incredulously.
there was a long silence, broken by lockhart's angry voice.
"look, i didn't learn joined-up writing for nothing, you know!"
the car ride back to grimmauld place was awkward, to say the least. now that everyone knew what elara's biological mother had done, no one wanted to talk to her in fear of setting her off. elara sat facing the window, her knees against the door and her body twisted.
she was the first inside, kicking off her shoes quickly and heading upstairs. however, hermione and ginny caught her before she could shut herself inside the drawing room.
"you have to talk to harry," said ginny pleadingly. "he's so moody and it's just getting to me."
"you're the only one who can calm him down," agreed hermione.
"if he wants to shut himself out, he's allowed too," said elara grudgingly.
"you haven't seen him when you're not around," said hermione. "he mopes. he misses you elara, can't you see?"
"last time i believed something someone told me about harry, i got my heart broken and got accused of being a death eater. pass."
"that's an issue," said ginny awkwardly. "because harry's just told ron he's coming to talk to you."
"shit," said elara quickly, her head on a swivel. "see you later."
elara wanted to delay a certainly awkward conversation, so she turned the corner the opposite direction of the bedrooms and wandered down a hall she rarely visited. there was a door that said 'regulus arcturus black' on an old dusty sign nailed to it. curiosity got the best of elara, and she began to open it.
a hand reached from behind her and pulled it back shut.
"nope," said harry's voice, "we're talking."
elara turned around and found herself in very close proximity to harry. her heart rate picked up.
"fine," said elara, fighting to keep her voice cold.
they were silent for a few moments before harry broke the silence.
"i'm sorry," he said.
against her own will, a small part of elara's resole crumbled.
"lara, i'm really, really sorry about what i said about your mum — er, well — your aunt now, i suppose. i didn't mean any of it. i know you're not a death eater and i know that you'd rather die than become one... i shouldn't've said any of it. i had no reason to be angry at you, and i was being stupid."
elara sighed.
"i guess i shouldn't've cussed you out."
"no, i deserved that."
they were quiet again, except the atmosphere was considerably lighter.
"well — the issue is, we should — well," said harry sheepishly, "i want to talk about what else was said, before break i mean — "
elara blanched.
"no," she said, trying to move past harry, "this is a reconciliation, not a feelings fest."
she struggled for a moment before she gave up. there was certainly no avoiding it.
"you're annoying," said elara.
"i know," smiled harry.
elara still refused to meet harry's gaze.
"the point i'm trying to make — the point i want to make is that i didn't want to kiss cho, but i wanted to kiss someone else."
elara's head snapped up to look at harry. he seemed to be as nervous as she was.
"what — "
"lara, you have no idea how much it killed me that we never talked about what happened in the astronomy tower," said harry, running a hand through his already messy raven hair.
"i thought you wouldn't want to," said elara quietly.
"of course i did," said harry. "i mean, we almost kissed..."
they were quiet.
"i meant what i said," said elara, "about why i was mad."
"you did?" said harry blankly, although his features lit up.
"yeah," said elara quietly. "i didn't realize it until after i saw you. i didn't know why it hurt so much until someone told me."
"who?"
"unimportant."
"anthony goldstein?" said harry in a joking voice.
"oh, come off it," said elara, although she was smiling widely.
"so you forgive me then?" said harry hopefully.
"yes," said elara grudgingly.
harry nodded. They were quiet again.
"oh — and, i wanted to wait to give you your present because i thought you'd break it — "
elara gave harry an odd look before he turned around to go somewhere. elara, wanting to know what her breakable present was, followed him. the box was stowed deep in harry's trunk amidst shirts that were arranged to make some sort of nest. he handed her the box tenderly. sensing whatever was in there was pretty fragile, elara took a seat on the edge of harry's bed and pulled the ribbon from the box.
inside was a glass sphere that held a full view of the sky above. it was a mixture of purple and navy blue colors with little white-yellow specks that represented stars. elara picked up the glass model carefully. she examined it closely. the more she looked, the more her features softened.
"so you like it? its okay if you don't — "
"i love it," said elara breathlessly.
"you do?"
"yeah," she replied, looking back up at harry with a soft smile playing on her lips. "this is amazing — i mean, there's ursa major and minor, and there's venus and mercury — oh, thank you so much, harry."
"it was no problem. i was really happy to be to able to finally give it to you."
elara smiled up at him from her place on the bed.
"my turn. c'mon — "
this was the happiest elara's been in ages. the smile dancing on her features wasn't going away anytime soon. she closed the door as harry exited the room. as she made to pull her hand away from the doorknob, harry grabbed her wrist.
"your bracelet, it's come off."
elara looked down.
"it has, hasn't it?" she said smiling.
"you didn't rip it off, did you?" said harry worriedly.
"no, it came off yesterday by accident," said elara exasperatedly.
elara looked back up and for the first time noticed their incredibly close proximity. she was now flat against the bedroom door.
"so will you finally tell me what you wished?" said harry, smiling.
elara considered for a moment before answering.
"i wished for a really good day i could freeze in time. a day where everything comes together."
"so would you say today's that day, then?" asked harry quietly.
"i mean, i finally have a real family," said elara rather breathlessly. "i've — i've finally apologized to the longbottoms, mr. weasley is okay, i'm back on good — great terms with you, we've both said what we've wanted to say, and — oh god, mistletoe — "
they had been so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't notice there was a sprig of fresh mistletoe above them.
"can't break tradition, you know," said harry, echoing elara's words from a week before. "bad luck and all."
"don't — that's not — "
something tugged at her heart as she noticed their close proximity. she felt like her stomach was doing a gymnastics routine as if flipped around. for a second, she thought she was maybe having a stroke or a vision was coming until she realized it was harry bloody potter doing this to her.
she didn't dare move. what if now, after things are finally just right, she messes it all up again? she just got harry back, there's no way —
her repertoire of thoughts was interrupted by harry placing his hands on the sides of elara's neck and tilting her head upwards to place a kiss on her lips. he pulled away nervously, probably wondering if elara would slap him. however, she wanted more.
elara found her hands reaching up to the collar of harry's shirt.
it was a little awkward at first, sure, seeing as this was elara's first kiss. their teeth clashed once or twice and they bumped noses, but soon enough they fell into a rhythm. harry's hands were gripping elara's waist to pull her closer, as her hands were placed on the sides of his face to do the same.
elara's heart had only pounded in her chest this vehemently when she was in the graveyard, but this was different. this was good.
harry smiled against her lips as he murmered, "your hair's pink."
elara felt her face grow hot as she hummed in response. they lost track of time and eventually elara had taken to lean against the door. of course, she didn't mind —
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!"
they sprung apart to find nymphie standing ten or so feet away from them. elara fought to turn her pink hair back into her usual black hair, but it was no use.
"THEY'RE SNOGGING!" said nymphie loudly, turning away and streaking down the hallway. "THEY'RE SNOGGING, DAMMIT!"
before elara could react, harry planted another kiss on her lips. she shot a furious look at harry, who shrugged in turn.
"couldn't help it."
"you're going to turn me soft," grumbled elara.
"SIRIUS, REMUS, I WANT MY MONEY!" nymphie was yelling as they heard her footsteps pound down the stairs — followed by a loud crash and mrs. black's screams. "SIRIUS, YOUR GODSON AND COUSIN ARE SNOGGING UNDER THE MISTLETOE! YOU LOSE!"
another crash.
"GOD DAMMIT!"
"that's sirius," said elara.
and another crash.
"and that would be uncle — i mean dad," said elara, shaking her head.
harry and elara slowly made their way down the hall, elara setting her present in her room before they slowly went down the stairs as to put off the inevitable.
"I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF ALL THE MISTLETOE, NYMPHANDORA," yelled ted.
elara fought to turn her hair back to black, and she was able to this time.
"I HUNG SOME BACK UP," yelled nymphie.
"WHY ON EARTH -- "
"YOUNG LOVE!"
the pair slowly entered the kitchen to find nymphie happily accepting sirius and lupin's money. sirius looked disappointed. lupin looked like he didn't know how to feel. harry and elara slowly sat down in chairs at the dining room table as they tried to ignore every face staring at them.
"alright, harry," said nymhpie, who's face had now suddenly turned stoic.
"oh god," muttered elara as she expected what's coming.
"now that i'm lara's sister, i am legally obligated to give you the talk."
"oh god," said elara, face buried in her hands.
"if you ever break my baby sister's heart again, i will find you no matter where you're hiding, break your fingers and kneecaps, take all of your money," nymphie's hands were folded and rested on the table in front of them, "and leave you to die alone and helpless in a dark alleyway."
"too late for that now," said ginny from across the room. "cho chang's had a go at harry."
nymphie's head snapped back towards harry and ted let out a cry.
"what? i thought you just fought — "
"well," harry cleared his throat. "we fought because of that —"
" — and that wouldn't've happened if you'd just finished snogging her in fourth year!" called ron.
"what?"
* * *
AUTHORS NOTE
— i don't know how to write the cute scenes IM SORRY
— but AHHHHHHHH FINALLY JESUS CHRIST
— WRIFUWRGFH I HOPE I DID THEIR KISS JUSTICE
written: february 5, 2020
published: april 14, 2020