R U N N I N G
F O R M I L E S
"No, that skirt will look perfectly fine with that top." I told Hanna for what felt like the millionth time.
Hanna smiled widely, "I don't know, you don't think it makes me look fat?" She asked as she did a slow twirl on the Face-time call.
I had to admit, I missed her face, she had one of those smiles that instantly make you feel happy. It is contagious. She was one of those naturally pretty girls, long wavy black hair, porcelain skin and captivating eyes, I used to be so jealous of her because she looks beautiful regardless of what she is wearing or doing.
"You're nowhere near fat!" I exclaimed, "Besides, that skirt makes your butt look good; all eyes are going to be on you." I said trying to hype her up the best I could, "Or your ass, more likely."
Hanna rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless, "You promise?" she asked as she walked over to her mirror and glanced into it.
I nodded, "I promise, I wouldn't lie to you about that." I said truthfully as I laid on my bed.
For the past hour and a half, I've been trying to help Hanna figure out what she's going to wear to some jocks party tonight.
His name was Ethan, he used to be friends with Boston before he turned toxic. When we got together, all of his friends seemed to drop like flies, I never had many friends, but the ones I did seemed to disappear slowly too, Hanna was the only friend Boston did not feel threatened by.
Ethan is much like Boston, minus all his spiteful traits. He is confident, he has everyone wrapped around his finger because he is popular.
I never knew why Boston chose me of all people, he could have had any girl in Green Meadow, but he chose me. The girl with barely any friends and no sense of style, the girl with chipped black nail polish that uses sarcasm as a defence mechanism and makes suicidal jokes on a daily basis.
I used to wish he had chosen someone else, but now I am glad he chose me, no one deserves to go through what I did, not in a million years.
"Thanks, E." Hanna replied as she came back over to her phone, "Oh, and before I go. . ."
I sighed, please don't be about Boston, please.
"Remember Isobel, that girl we did the chemistry project with?"
I groaned, not prepared for what she was about to say, "Yes, I remember her."
She was a nice girl, much like Hanna, except she had more popularity.
"She tried getting with Boston, because everyone knows since you moved, he is officially single." she began to explain, "He fucked her up pretty bad, E. Like really bad."
My eyes widened and suddenly all the saliva in my mouth disappeared as I felt like a fish out of water, gasping for air. Why, Boston? I felt like shouting. You hurt me enough, please don't hurt anyone else.
"W-What?" I asked in shock, "He hurt her? Why?"
Hanna shrugged, "Apparently she was throwing herself at him and he had no choice, but no one believes him." she explained as she toyed with her hair, "Her arm is broken and she has a black eye, I'm pretty sure she's transferring schools now. No one cares though, cause it's Boston, he's the school's famous quarterback."
My eyes watered, "God, I can't believe this."
"He never did anything like that to you. . ." she trailed, "did he?" she pried.
I clenched my jaw, moving the camera away from my face, so that she was unable to see how red my face was, "Hanna," I sighed, "I moved here to get away from Boston, I do not need constant updates on him, okay?" I snapped, "I've moved on, just stop all the Boston shit."
Before she could reply, I hung up as I felt guilt envelop me in an instant. I shouldn't have snapped at her, but for god's sake, I call her because she is my only friend and other than Sam and my dad, she is all I have.
I don't think we have called once since I moved here without her not talking about Boston at least once and it quite honestly really fucking sucks. I hate that he hurt me and I had to run away, I never got the chance to properly break things off, I never got the time to grieve the loss of someone I loved and honestly. . .I still love him.
It hurts, it really does. But if I had stayed, I do not think I would have lived very long, rather Boston would have killed me or I would have done it myself to end my misery.
I hate that he is hurting other people because of me. He hurt Carter, he hurt Isobel, he hurt me and I am starting to think that maybe moving here was not the best option. What if he continues to hurt people until I have no choice but to return?
I can't take this anymore. I feel like I cannot breathe, every corner I turn is another dead end.
Without a second thought, I exited my room, running down that stairs before rushing out of my house. I could not get out of there fast enough, I could physically feel the walls closing in on me.
Breathe, Eden.
I exhaled sharply as my bare feet hit the wood on the doc, the creaky boards squeaking beneath my toes.
I came to a holt at the end as I stared at the deep green lake in front of me, the long strings of kelp swirling in the water as though it was begging for me to jump in, so that it could envelop me and tug me under.
Maybe I should jump in, I won't swim and I'll let the seaweed drag me under and when I finally run out of air, I'll let go. I won't fight it, I'll just. . .stop.
They say it is called an ambiguous loss, that is what it is called when you lose someone, but they aren't actually gone. Like when a loved one gets dementia, they slowly lose parts of themselves until there is nothing left to love. Boston was sweet once upon a time, but as time went on, I found myself wondering why.
Why did I love him? He is terrible. He has ruined me and I am only seventeen.
He is gone. He is dead to me, but he isn't here, he is no longer the person I once loved dearly, so I will grieve losing him as though he died because it is easier to pretend someone is dead, rather than surrounded by other people, girls like me that he could potentially hurt.
I just wish this could stop entirely.
Why can't I be more like Lila? She has good grades, she is smart, beautiful, she has the biggest house in the estate, she has an attractive best friend and even her worst enemy loves her. She doesn't feel anything, she is like a 2D object, there is nothing more to her than what you see.
Or maybe there is, but she hides it so well. I thought I did too until I met her.
I sat down, my heart aching in my chest as I pulled out my phone and saw that I already had three missed calls from Hanna.
It was wrong of me to snap at her, but I could not help myself. I will make sure to call her again later and apologise, but right now, I just needed to breathe.
Usually I am more than happy to be alone, but right now I needed company. A distraction. Feeling right now was too much, so I texted the first person that came to mind.
Lakyn.
(Eden, 8:23 pm)
I need u
I waited patiently, awaiting his response and after a matter of minutes, he replied.
(Lakyn, 8:25 pm)
Where
(Eden, 8:25 pm)
Our spot
After that he didn't reply, but he saw my message, so I just waited for him. I was not about to tell him my entire life story, but sometimes company is nice. It'll just feel nice to have someone next to me that doesn't think that I am a complete nutcase with relationship issues.
Barely fifteen minutes passed before I felt a presence behind me and there he was. It was dark out, but his bleached hair stuck out like a glow stick, the stars illuminating his pale complexion as he sauntered over to me, clad in black ripped jeans and a plain white tee.
"Hey." I whispered as he sat down next to me.
He offered me a small smile, "So, you need me, huh?"
I rolled my eyes, shoving him slightly, "Shut up."
"In what way?" he grinned cheekily.
I raised an eyebrow, "What?" I asked in a confused tone.
"In what way do you need me?"
I shrugged, "In any way."
"You gotta be more specific,
"In a friend way." I answered shyly as I tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
"Ouch." he winced as if my words hurt him, "What do you wanna talk about then?"
"This weird dream I had the other night." I said slowly.
"Okay you've got me on the edge of my seat, what was it about." he joked sarcastically.
"It was about this girl and guy, they were in an abusive relationship and he somewhat made her take drugs which he then took her to a tattoo shop-"
"What's so bad about a few harmless drugs and a tattoo shop?" Lakyn cut me off.
"What part of abusive relationship and pretty much forcing a girl to take drugs seems harmless to you?" I asked trying to hide how disgusted I was that he didn't see anything wrong with what I was saying.
"Okay, what happens next?" he asked as he rested his elbows on his knees, acting as if he was truly interested in what I was saying.
"Fine, he then took her to the tattoo shop, she was excited because she had told him about a tattoo she had been wanting for ages, she thought she was getting it..." I paused as my heart sunk, "He got his first and then he didn't let her watch the tattoo artist put the ink into her skin, she was nervous but she loved him and trusted him."
Oh god I trusted him so much, why did he have to do that to me?
"Eden?" Lakyn asked as he rubbed little circles into my crossed knee, "What happened?"
"It was done and she went over to see what I was of but he stopped her, he wanted to show her his first..." I paused as the memories seemed to flood into my subconscious, "It was the letter of her first name, tattooed onto his hip." I said sucking in a breath.
"So, what was hers of?" Lakyn asked as he continued to rub circles into my skin.
"It was of his." I managed to get out as I could feel tears start to pool up in eyes and my heart sting.
"Wait, Why are you upset about that? It was just a dream it isn't relevant to you right?" Lakyn said as he looked out over the lake, the moon shining down on the water.
"No, it was... Nothing don't worry." I sucked in a breath has I tried to think of something to change the subject too, "What about you?"
"What about me?" Lakyn laughed as he shot me a confused expression.
"Its eight o'clock on a Friday and you could be anywhere, literally anywhere but you came straight away, no questions asked." I pointed out, raising my eyebrow that he probably couldn't see due to it being almost pitch black, the only light source being from the tiny light on in the houses surrounding the lake and the full moon's beams cascading down onto the water.
"Well if you must know, my stupid step-cunt of a dad kicked me out of the house, so I was just chillin at Hales but fucking Lila was there and she, like always, managed to piss me off and that was when you messaged so I thought it was the perfect excuse to leave." He informed me as I laid into his side, trying to comfort him.
Lakyn then wraps his arms around me, his touch, unlike his soul, was warm and comforting. I felt safe, which I haven't felt in a long time, well excluding my brother and father. Boston has messed me up and normally I would feel sick and uncomfortable if a boy was to try and wrap his arms around me, but Lakyn?
I think he could help mend my trust.
It would be good for me if I could have a friend in this shitty, fucked up town. One that I could try and attempt to trust, but more specifically show me that not all of the male gender is abusive and fucked up. That they can comfort a girl if or when she needs it, instead of fucking her up mentally and emotionally.
After a few minutes of silence, well having an internal conversation with myself, I felt as Lakyn laid us down onto the wooden jetty. We laid there relaxed and quiet, in the cool breeze of the night, in each other's warm embraces where I found myself trying to copy his slow deep breaths.
"Your beautiful Eden." Lakyn whispered as he swiftly got on top of me.
"Lakyn, you and I both know that's bullshit." I laughed as I tried not to look in his eyes.
"I wouldn't lie to you." He breathed effortlessly as he pushed a hair out my face.
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes as I knew that what he was saying wasn't true.
How could it be when Boston used to say the same thing but then he would flip like a switch, telling me that I was ugly, that no one would date me or even give me a second look because I was so disgusting.
"Eden look you've got to be one of the most beautiful and non-bitchy girls in this damn town, I mean you're pretty bad-ass by the way you throw shit right back to Lila." He paused as he looked me in the eyes, "What I'm trying to get to is, I would be honoured to be the first guy in this place to show you a good time."
What the fuck?
Did he really just ask if he could fuck me? I mean I should have known better, its Lakyn fucking Westbrook for god's sake. The boy full of sex jokes, confidence and cunt-ness.
But I would be wrong if I said I didn't want to.
"I don't know." I averted my gaze to the moon.
"Just in a friend way?"
"What the fuck did you just say?" I asked with a laugh as I looked straight back at his face, his blue eyes seeming to glow.
Lakyn smirked, "I could fuck you but just in a friend way."
"Just in a friend way?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Just in a friend way." He confirmed.
"Wait does that mean you consider me a frien-"
I was about to say when Lakyn smashed his lips down onto my neck which caused me to suck in a deep breath.
"Maybe I do." Lakyn smirked down at me.
"Fuck it, just in a friend way." I breathed as Lakyn gave me an evil grin and attached his lips back onto my neck.
A few seconds of Lakyn biting and kissing my neck, that's when I felt him trail his hand up my shirt, he pulled it up, leaving my black lace bra on full display for his hungry eyes.
"I'm pretty sure I've seen this somewhere." Lakyn broke away from my neck, he was referring to the video that had gone around the school only weeks ago.
"Shut the fuck up." I half laughed as I punched him in the stomach.
"Damn you can punch too." He smiled evilly as he lent back down and started to kiss all over my neck and down onto my chest.
He then trailed his finger down my stomach which surprisingly tickled yet tingled at the same time. I almost for a split second felt as though I was on Molly, I could almost feel the euphoria running through me.
It felt good, to feel like this. For once I was actually enjoying myself and not worrying about something stupid or getting triggering flashbacks of my stupid ex-boyfriend. Maybe this is what I needed, to let loose and actually have some fun for once, make my own damn decisions, instead of letting someone else control my decisions, I'm in control now.
"Eden?" Lakyn asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, "What's this?"
I opened my eyes and I was instantly met with Lakyn seeming the slightest bit worried as he pointed his long, boney finger down at my hip. Instantly every hair on my body stood up as I saw that stupid fucking tattoo, the branding of someone I once loved.
It's the one thing that still connects me to that fucking monster and there's not a lot I can do about it.
"Eden?" Lakyn asked again as I felt tears prick my eyes again.
"It's nothing, its nothing." I whispered as I looked away from him.
But was I trying to convince him that? Or myself?
"Bullshit, it makes sense now."
"What does?" I asked confused.
"Your dream." he stated sitting up, "It was you in the dream, wasn't it?"
"I-I..."
What do I tell him? How do I know that he's just fucking with me and trying to get to know me so he can break me down just like Boston? But what if he's not, what if he is genuinely worried about me and wants to help?
I guess I've got to just hope I can trust this boy.
Lakyn sighed, his breath coming out as steam from the crisp air, "Eden its ok-"
"Your right, it was me in the dream." I sat up pulling my shirt down and pulling my track pants slightly so that the small bit of skin was covered again, "That and a lot more has happened to me."
"Fuck Eden, I-I um I don't really know what to sa-"
"You don't need to say anything, all you need to do is never tell anyone about this." I said sternly, "He can't know I'm here."
"Who can't?"
I sighed as I twirled a piece of my hair nervously, "My ex-boyfriend."
The words somewhat flew out of my mouth, I didn't want to reveal that all to him, but I for some reason felt I needed to, I've kept it bottled up inside me for way to long now and when the words left my mouth, it felt like a big weight was lifted off of me.
Maybe this is finally a good step towards fixing myself, towards trying to accept all of the stuff that has happened to me and finally moving on and closing that chapter of my life and instead working on myself.
"Wait, where are you going?" he asked as I got up and slowly walked down the jetty, "We didn't get to finish what we had started."
"Don't you worry, we will have more fun soon."
"Just in a friend way?" He called out.
"Just in a friend way." I confirmed back.
➳
Hey Hi Hello
I hope you guys liked the chapter.
This chapter was so fun to write but it was hard to start because i just wanted to get into the juicy ending with Eden and Lakyn. I honestly love Lakyn as a character, hes such a dick bit i cant help but love him so i felt honoured to be able to have him in my chapter again.
How do you guys feel about Lakyn? Is he doing good? Or bad?
Can Eden really trust him?
Please let me know what you think of the book so far.
Please don't forget to vote, leave a comment and go read 'Loving Lakyn' by @sharnahespinosa
GemmaGrace ♡