It was euphoric. The atmosphere, the lights, the drinks, the bodies that slid around hers and touched ever so suggestively; simply euphoric. All of her senses were heightened to some level that she had never been at before and Lilith was not complaining. She wondered if perhaps Kris had added an extra ingredient to her three shots but knew her friend wouldn't do such a thing without her consent. Lilith would never be much of a drinker; a feather weight at best so the rapid effects of the liquor were just her body's way of reminding her.
Kris had left her for a moment to deal with a small emergency though her eyes suggested that it wasn't that small. She hadn't left without encouraging Lilith to drop her guards and have a freeing night of hedonistic fun. It was a thrilling thought but frightening all the same. Though if Lilith could be honest with herself, she would admit that the thought was hardly as frightening as it had suggested on the ride there. With that thought, she threw back another shot and maneuvered back through the dancers to the spot her friend had left her on the dance floor. But before she could get there, she came face to face with Mason. Lilith staggered to a halt and he stepped forward just in time to grip her waist and hold her up. She was crushed against his chest and her breasts were more than peeping up at him through the two unfastened buttons; all courtesies of Kris.
She swallowed and licked her bottom lip. He observed the action as if it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. Lilith gasped because without much warning he began to move his pelvis and hips to the rhythm of the bass that thumped through their bodies. Lilith could feel the vibration pulsing straight to her most secret place even more so now that she was drunk and feeling aroused. Alcohol at its best.
"What are you doing?" She asked; her voice a deep sultry lull over the pulse of the bass.
"Dancing with you." He answered after a lengthy pause.
"Shouldn't you be working?" She asked her voice not giving away the arousal her body was showing and was feeling. She knew her nipples were hard and noticeable with each graze across his bare chest. The evidence was much clear between her thighs.
"I should but I needed to see something for myself." His ominous words had pricked her curiosity.
"Oh? And what was that?"
He slid his hands over the curves of her waist and the hardness she had witnessed in the hall was pressed against her mound. Even through her skirt she could feel it.
"I wanted to know what you were so I came to see for myself." He gripped her sides with more pressure than was necessary but it felt wonderful. The sharp jolt of pain was heady and as it dulled it made her groan.
"What I am?" For all her intelligence Lilith sounded as if she had lost a few points on her IQ.
"Precisely. You have eyes that appear to be both Dom and Sub. I wonder, when the scale is tipped, which would you chose." His words made her breath hitch.
Mason spun her around and locked her arms around her in a crisscrossed position and held her trapped against his front. Lilith felt his breath against the nape of her neck and without meaning to, she let her head fall back and rest against his shoulder. Her back was arched and hips pressed hard against what her body wanted inside it. Mason was not the man she wanted to be her first but because of her bad decision juice she'd been consuming, anyone felt as if it would do.
"Whichever way it tips, I can be both as well. That means I can take and give all the same but I do hope that you would let me take."
Lilith pulled away from him with a bit of a struggle and turned almost too quickly to see him.
"Not that drunk Mason but thanks for the offer."
She watched his grin turn to something devious and he wiggled his fingers in his departure through the crowd. He was gone just as swiftly as he came and her body was still tingling. Lilith needed to wash her face. She pushed through the crowd as she rubbed the back of her neck where the sensation of his breath lingered and the promise was whispered.
Nearly to the edge of the crowd where the tables were located, she looked up in time to side step a wild dancer and tripped on her own feet. She was going to fall and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She closed her eyes as she braced but when she landed it wasn't as she had anticipated.
Someone had caught her. Well sort of.
From her angle, she could tell that someone held her about the waist but she was face down over their knee. It was disorienting to think how she got in this position. She felt the arm that was under her shoulders ease her all the way down and relax.
Lilith's cheeks were burgundy in her embarrassment but her body tensed as muscles bulged in the thighs beneath her and his hands slid away. She knew the person was all male from just the feel of his hands; she didn't have to see the charcoal Armani trousers beneath her for confirmation. Yet no matter how delicious he felt, she should get up. Her head was quite light from being hung over the stranger's knees, so getting up was proving a task that he was not aiding her with. Who knew, maybe he was enjoying the spectacle she was turning out to be. She got her hands under her, one on his thigh the other on the cushioned seat of the booth and pushed up till her toes touched the ground. As she pushed she turned over in his lap slowly but her glasses slid off and she was reaching for them before she assessed that that meant losing arm support. Before she could hit her head against the table, he caught her and helped her upright. Damn it she was really not looking or acting her best right now. How was she to look in his face and express her apologies when she was this embarrassed?
Lilith felt her bun come loose and fall behind her to a long ponytail. She looked at the hand that was placed against her bare thigh and was mortified to see she had pulled the garter strap free from the very same leg. She wanted to fasten it, but his hand was there holding her in place. As if he had guessed, he removed his hand and she went for it with much haste. Once the task was done she pulled at her skirt but it was all bunched up unevenly beneath her.
"Perhaps if you stood?" The stranger asked and his voice was like another shot of Jack Daniels as it entered her body and made her burn but shiver from its affect. There was a thick accent that was easily identifiable as Russian but his English was fluent. She lifted her eyes to him and when they collided with the ice blues Lilith felt everything around her grind to a halt and blur. It was not the liquor. It was something that had only happen with one other man. The one she had wanted more than any and whose name she whispered whenever she needed the sensation of cutting herself to be more.
What was it that made her still? It wasn't just the eyes but what lurked within them. Power was there, a will that would not be defied and it was natural. Not learnt but harvested and harnessed. It was steely and unbreakable; strong and not to be questioned. In those eyes that stared blankly at her and were made ever more mesmeric by strong striking masculine features was what she wanted-no, what she needed. Lilith needed what he had and she didn't second guess it. He was it.
She watched him quirk a brow at her and looked down his nose at her. It made her want to squirm in his lap but not from fear; she was enthralled.
"That is presuming you had intentions to." He said sardonically.
She blinked up at him and smiled slowly in awe.
"I need you." The words had ran through her red light and stop signs without warning. She had blurted them out and yet felt no shame. It was the truth after all.
His brow lowered with the other, furrowed and dark.
"The only thing you need is your foot beneath you and your ass of my lap." He growled with menace and all it did was make Lilith curl against him more. He smelled wonderful of some masculine cologne and she wanted to mark her body with that aroma.
"Eventually, but not yet."
"Excuse me?" He asked; eyes narrowed to icy slits and head inclining.
"I need you. You are what I have been looking for. I know that sounds weird..."
"Crazy seems more accurate."
"...coming from a stranger and all, but I have never been more sure of what I needed than I do right now."
He stared down at her as if he was honestly trying to figure out why he had caught her and not let her hit her head against the floor.
"You reek of liquor and I hate such an odor on a woman. You have already failed with your plight."
"I wasn't aware of either but I promise you I normally do not drink. My friend asked me here tonight and-"
"Get the fuck off of me before I ruin your night little girl."
"My name is-"
"I don't care. Move."
"Won't you help me?"
"I have helped you enough for tonight and I regret it horribly."
Lilith bit her bottom lip and felt a tear crawling down her cheek. She heard of people who cried when they were intoxicated; she had guessed right when she thought she would be one as she had a lot of buried hurts from the past. Great.
"I know I am not appealing visually but-"
"Then you understand quite clearly why I am not interested."
His words cut her deeply. She had been turned down by eyes like those years ago, but they had never been so cruel. He had had reason to yell at her then. This was far worst. Lilith dropped her head and swallowed repeatedly against the lump in her throat but she couldn't manage keeping it down.
She saw that her glasses had fallen into his lap and not registering that it was on his groin, she reached for it. Before her fingers could graze her frames, he snatched her wrist between his large hands and his grip tightened fiercely as he held her hand away and curled his other around her neck.
Lilith moaned from the sensation and her breath was limited by the grasp of his fingers,
He cursed her something serious in Slavic; she knew he did and squeezed her wrist tighter. She was going to bruise.
"Ivan! Stop, please." Kris yelled as she came to stand beside him. His body guard stepped forward and Neil did the same behind Kris.
Ivan, his name was Ivan. It suited him just fine. It didn't worry Lilith that his grip was hurting her or that she could barely breathe. Yes he had hurt her feelings but she knew that he was what she needed. She just had to convince him.
"I am not accustomed to being harassed in your establishment Kris. It's quite obvious that this bitch is new..."
"Please release her. She is my best friend and it's her first time here. The blame is mine for leaving her unattended to." Kris voice only held a tinge of panic but her eyes were cool.
Lilith's fingers were still wrapped around Ivan's that clutched her throat and held her awkwardly away from his body.
He looked from Lilith to Kris and they stared at each other much too long. Perhaps he was one of her lovers or something more. Maybe there was just history between them that Kris had never disclosed. Whatever it was, Lilith felt out of place and intruding on something she was not invited to.
"Is my room ready?"
"It was the reason she was left unattended to. Yes. Please give her to me; I am certain you will appreciate the treats I left awaiting you."
After a moment, Ivan released her long enough to grip the back of Lilith's neck and toss her off his lap in Neil's direction. He caught her and Lilith turned around and saw him flexing his neck just before he finished his drink.
"My glasses." She piped up as she favored her left wrist.
"What?" He asked sharply; making her wince.
"It was what I was reaching for. I wasn't trying to insult you further." Lilith said over the music.
He stared up at her as another tear slid from her exquisitely haunting eyes that he would never admit he found fascinating. She was hurt by his previous comment more than his harsh treatment but he had no room in him to care. It was his nature to be cold and cut throat. He was doing her a favor. Kris knew that as well. He watched her release her wrist and point down at his lap. Sure enough, a pair of black framed glasses was sitting there. He had been harsh for nothing but it was done.
Ivan picked them up, folded them and handed them to her. Kris intercepted and took them from him before Lilith could. She gave them to her and Lilith wiped her eyes dry and squared her shoulders as she adorned them.
Ivan felt his dick twitch in his trousers. She looked something naughty in them but again, he was not about to disclose that. It annoyed him that she had some appeal on him and it made him loath her more.
He stood and Lilith's eyes widen at his height. She was already short without heels, with them Ivan still dwarfed her.
"Lead the way but leave your pet behind."
Kris turned to her and appeared to be pissed with her rather than with Ivan. It confused her as to who's side her friend was really on.
"Go with Neil."
"Where is he taking me."
"To the limo. Go home."
"Home? But I thought you wanted-"
"All I want from you right now is to see you leave. Go home."
She turned away from a dumbfounded Lilith and told Ivan to follow her. She never looked back and he never did either. Neil took her elbow and began to usher her towards the exit wordlessly.
Lilith was more shocked at her best friend's reaction towards her than that of Ivan's. He was a stranger and he had a right to feel insulted by her actions. Kris was her best friend for years; where was her excuse?
She pulled her elbow out of Neil's grip and told him to leave her be.
"I can find the door on my own thank you. Go to your boss."
She left without hearing if he had any objections to it.
"I apologize for the treatment you have received tonight." Kris said once again as she pressed a button on the elevator.
Ivan shoved his hands into his pockets and stood staring at the double doors till they opened.
"First offences are sometimes forgivable. Don't let it happen again."
"I'm certain it would not have happened had you alerted me that you were in town and on your way, but I will work to prevent a second offence."
"Are you blaming me for your friend's over zealous hands?" Ivan asked with amusement.
The cabby came and they stepped in together without the escort of Ivan's bodyguard; only paying customers with platinum membership were to go where they were headed. To ensure that, the member would have to enter their security code upon hitting the eight floor's button. Ivan did just that and immediately the doors closed with a chime.
"To a small degree. It could have been avoided and when tonight is over I will have to figure out a way to make it up to my best friend for chasing her away like that."
"So you're more pissed at yourself than me. I am not a fault there."
"Very well." There was no point in her arguing; he would make certain it was drawn out until he won.
Silence came over them as they exited the elevator and walked the halls to the penthouse that only Ivan used and had paid generously for. It had taken Bianca a bit longer to arrive and prepare for him as she was at the airport. The girl had been prepared to go on vacation but she was Ivan's favorite; vacation could wait and he would pay whatever amount to ensure that she was fully compensated.
As Ivan made his way to his room, he pushed away all thoughts of Kris' friend and her lovely eyes. She had purred beneath him when he handled her roughly, but that was to be forgotten. Bianca would take care of the rest and the rigid erection that was growing in his trousers.
"I believe you can find your way from here. If you need for anything please do not hesitate to call." Kris informed as she unlocked and opened one of the double doors. Ivan stared down at her and she stared back. He had marveled this woman's cold ways that reminded him much of himself. She was not afraid to show just how strong she could be when necessary and knew just how to hide when it wasn't.
He smiled slowly but her expression remained stoic.
"That would be all Kris unless you wish to join me." He suggested; closing in the space between them.
She hadn't done more than blink to adjust her gaze a little higher but over all she was unfazed.
"You already know my answer."
"Yet I ask every time. Who knows, the day I decide not to might be the day you say yes."
"Ivan, you are lovely as a client and I would hate to lose you, but you are not my type in any which way."
"You are afraid that I may tame you. I know this is why you say no."
Kris closed her eyes and sighed; not allowing the dangerous roll of his thick accent get the best of her. Ivan had been offering her his services for two years and still he had not realized that she was not interested.
"Enjoy your evening with Bianca. I have work to see to."
She turned away and walked towards the elevators with the sound of his chuckle. Kris knew that she would be tamed if she ever challenged Ivan and she was not about to give in to that. It was not even a temptation but more a fear that she was not ready to confront. From what she had seen Ivan do to other Doms, it proved him ruthless and thorough. Most Subs were not brave enough to even look at him much less serve him. Bianca had been the only one because she craved the pain more than the pleasure. No, Kris was a giver...never a taker. As she rode the elevator back to the first floor, she wrecked her mind with how she was to apologize to her best friend. Maybe she would start by texting her. So she pulled out her cell phone and began to create a message.
It wasn't hard finding her ride home; he was parked right out front where he had dropped her. Perhaps Neil had already alert him of her departure. Three cheers for team work. Lilith huffed at him stormed into the opened door he held for her. She was still very much intoxicated so her storming was a bit ungraceful. She actually tripped and landed on her face as she attempted to climb onto the seat.
"You ok?" He asked as he peered in.
Lilith arranged herself and damn it to hell it took so much longer than was needed.
"Just drive!" She barked at him; folding her arms like a spoiled child after pushing her long ponytail out of her face.
He closed the door gently and made his way to the driver's side. Lilith felt horrible for yelling at him but she was so irritated that her anger was easily transferable. She pinched the bridge of her nose and puffed out her cheeks. The car was in motion but it felt as if it was going in circle. She kept her eyes closed and tried to will herself sober...however that was suppose to work. There was no gentle background music this time; just the sound of the tires gliding over the road. It was just as good; she was still trying to regain her hearing thanks to the bass from the club.
Lilith was angrier at herself than she was at anyone else tonight. Why had she let Kris sucker her into coming to that club when she knew it would turn out to be a disaster? She treated her so horribly; nothing like a best friend and before so much people. God, how embarrassing!
Her phone buzzed in her coat pocket that was still draped over the seat. She picked it up and fished it out of her front pocket. She wasn't in the mood for being bothered but she wanted to be distracted.
After keying in her password she saw Kris' name displayed before the message preview.
She tossed the fucker to the next side of the limo and hoped it was broken; having no interest in reading whatever half assed excuse she was going to give with her mediocre apology. Lilith regained her composure, or so it would appear that she had, and stared out her window as they passed restaurants, clubs and other establishments all lined up in a row and as lively as ever on a Friday evening.
It was not for her. It was too normal and she had never been normal. She shouldn't even try, though she had wanted to. Her routine had worked for her so far; from home to work to home so why had she tried anything different?
"Are you going to be okay?" her driver asked as his eyes shifted from her in the rearview mirror and back to the road. It was stupid for her to had thrown her phone while he was driving; it could have caused and accident. She sighed and met his gaze in the mirror.
"I will. I'm sorry for the attitude and the ruckus." She drawled; speech still conflicted by liquor.
"Oh I've seen and heard worst but I'm worried because you aren't reacting, well besides for the phone."
She frowned and inclined her head to the right in attempts to understand what he meant.
"Huh?" and yet again she lost points on her IQ. What a night.
He smiled and thankfully it wasn't condescending. She had had enough of that for one night.
"Something happened and it has really peeved you but instead of embracing your anger or whatever emotion that is being doused, you have receded into your mind and suppressed it."
Lilith stared at him without blinking and said nothing.
"I've had a few psych classes in college; sorry sometimes it tends to rear its ugly head."
"It's fine."
More silence as she looked away and allowed his words to sink in. For all it was worth, despite her flaws and her bad habits, Lilith always knew her demons. She never denied them as being her problem and she never denied that she was mentally and emotionally unhealthy. It was never denial that kept them present in her life, it was some level of acceptance, despite what Kris believed. She cut herself because it was the only release she had. It made her feel. When she had bottled all her hurts all her pains and all her depression, it was like a release valve to purge her body of the toxins that build up within her, but she knew it was unhealthy. It was a shame that this stranger could see it, even if he didn't know of her habit, but no one she called family ever did. Perhaps her acceptance was the reason she could live the way she did. Perhaps it was why she could understand her patients better than most. Lilith was in the same boat but none like them, she knew how to row to get somewhere.
"Its true too." He must've been listening hard for some response because she had only whispered it and he had heard.
"What do you do to release?"
The question was innocent but so intimate that it had her avoiding his gaze and her cheeks burning.
"That's a heavy question for me; I don't think I could voice the answer."
"Then I'll guess. Yes or no only."
"Not interested in playing this game." She murmured; glancing sideways at his reflection and then back to her window. She held herself and bit her lip.
"Okay shake or nod your head for the answer." He persisted.
Lilith chuckled despite her gloomy mood and shook her head.
"Shouldn't you be watching the road rather than your drunk and less intriguing passenger?"
"You are very intriguing and I have exceptional peripheral vision. Just go with it; it'll help ease your mind."
Lilith took a deep breath and conceded. She was not going to get any peace for the next fifteen minutes of this ride if she didn't.
"Go for it."
He smacked his hand over the wheel and grinned in victory.
"Great! Ok, let's see..."
"This is going to be long..." she murmured.
"For release, do you write in a journal?"
Lilith quirked her brow and shook her head no; keeping her gaze out the window.
"Ok, do you cry?"
Again she shook her head.
"Break stuff and scream"
She chuckled and shook her head no.
"Eat a lot of comfort food?"
"This is ridiculous." She grumbled despite her amusement.
"Ah, ah, ah yes or no only. Now answer the question."
"Fine it's a no." She answered with a roll of her eyes.
"Ah and vocal one at that. Good, we're getting somewhere. What about sex?"
The word made Lilith gasp and her eyes darted to his. He was staring at her with heat growing in his eyes. She looked away and kept her eyes downcast.
"Dr. Ashton, did I guess right?"
"No."
"Really? I was certain I did."
"Well you're wrong and I don't think I want to play this game any longer."
"Why because I said the word sex?"
"Oh hell..."
"It's a normal human act. Don't you do it as well?"
Lilith found her tongue unable to move any further. She was not going to look his way.
"You don't do you?"
Not a word.
"Are you a virgin?"
"Your questions are off course. Perhaps you should recalculate." She warned him with a steely glare despite her heart leaping wildly in her chest.
"I think I'm going the right way. You have never been intimate in any which way with anyone?"
"Please stop, you are asking personal question that I wish not to answer to someone who's name I don't even know-"
"Jackson."
"What?"
"My name is Jackson. Torrin Jackson."
"Torrin. That's a very interesting name."
"Suits my personality once you get to know me."
She had nothing to say to that.
"So do you touch yourself?"
Lilith choked on her saliva just as she was about to swallow.
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Masturbation counts if you came."
"Oh my god, how much further?"
"I took the scenic route because you appeared to need your head cleared and because I am interested in this conversation."
"How nice of you." Her sarcasm wasn't lost on him but he grinned and shrugged off as if it was a real compliment. Cheeky bastard.
"Answer me." He said and just the way his voice sounded so demanding and final, she found herself whispering no with throat hoarse from the pulse rising in it.
"You never came?"
"Never masturbated." Why was she answering him?
"That's crazy. Then what could you possibly do to..."
He trailed off and stared at the road for awhile but she knew he had thought of something. She wanted to coax him but she wouldn't. Lilith's heart was raging in her chest and she felt adrenaline fizzing through her veins like jolts of lightening. Her eyes were round and wide behind her black frames and her lips parted for more air. When he looked at her in the mirror again she knew he had figured her out.
"Show me."
The air shuttered out of Lilith and she had to swallow a few times before she could find her voice.
"Sh-show you what?" She would feign illiteracy to the end.
"Dr. Ashton...you know what I mean."
"No I don't actually-what are you doing? Lilith's voice was a squeak as she felt the car being parked and the driver's door opening.
Torrin closed the door behind him and she couldn't move until he opened the back door. Lilith pressed herself against the door behind her as he settled himself on the seat. She was thankful for the over head light and the blue running lights on the side panels. If she had to face him in the absolute dark she would panic.
He stared down at her and it made her realize just how far down in her seat she had hunched.
"What are you doing?" She whispered.
"You cut yourself to release."
Lilith flinched as if he had hit her. There was no need for a verbal answer when her body was a physical resounding yes.
"You couldn't have possibly guessed that..." She whispered as he settled closer to her.
A slow smile crept up his face and maybe it was still the alcohol's fault but Lilith was completely aroused by it.
" I was bluffing doc. But now...I really want to see."
"Torrin, I don't even know you."
"And that just the beauty and excitement of it all."
"This is crazy." She panted.
"Show me Dr. Ashton. All I want you to do is show me."