Octavia's guide to the hell that is the english language
IRONIC
/īˈränik/
(adj.) happening in the opposite way to what is expected, and typically causing wry amusement because of this.
⤷Alternative definition: Octavia's life because she has some impending curse
⤷see also: That one really good Alanis Morissette song
Ironic. If her future student had not just knocked himself unconscious, Octavia probably would have been on the floor rolling. Of course the one person in the world who she needs to be capable of retaining actual knowledge passes out because they didn't know perm stood for permanent. What. An. Idiot.
She found herself bolting through grass and gravel, making her way to where Brian and Roger were. But there was one issue, well technically two but anyway, she couldn't remember where Brian and Roger had been or where they would be and of course those were the two people she needed.
Eventually, she managed to find Ben, who also apparently found Amelia. They were just casually walking around talking and Octavia sprang up on them like Usane Bolt.
"Are you good?" Amelia asked as Octavia stopped to catch her breath, she could almost hear herself wheezing.
"Ok, Joe can't be that good." Ben looked shocked which then developed into a smirk.
"Not the time, Benjamin. Joe fainted, and the hairdresser couldn't figure out if he was unconscious or not, or if he has a concussion. So I suggest you help me find Brian or Roger pronto." Octavia glanced at her phone real quick, maybe Lucy had notifed her over instagram about Joe.
"He fainted? Why? What did you do to him?" Ben asked. Octavia couldn't tell if he was being serious or sarcastic.
"Yes, and I didn't do anything to him, he freaked out when he found out 'perm' stood for permanent."
"You have got to be kidding me, he's that stupid?" Ben stifled a laugh.
"Again, not the time Benjamin." Octavia stated, "Now please help me find them."
The three walked all around the film sight, calling out Roger and Brian but still no luck. Octavia could tell that Amelia and Ben were most definitely not taking this as seriously as her.
"You and Joe are 1000% a match made in heaven." Amelia commented as Octavia called out for Brian again.
"Gross I'm not here to date him.. that would be... unprofessional."
"Please, when have YOU ever been professional?" Amelia scoffed at Octavias comment.
"says you, coming here for the sole purpose of touching Ben's ass." Octavia rolled her eyes.
"Touching whose arse?" Ben called, a little ways away from the girls.
"No one's" Both girls said in unison, to which Ben smirked at. The girls went back to their conversation, getting no where with the search for Roger and Brian.
"But seriously, there's absolutely nothing there when you talk to Joe or even think about him?" Amelia pushed.
"He's attractive for a ginger." Octavia commented nonchalantly.
"Damn Oxy, that's harsh." Ben commented, giving her a dirty look.
"I'm sorry but it's true, he's not my type." She shrugged and turned away from him.
"Wait I'm sorry but did you just try to tell me that JOE, of all people, isn't your 'type'?" Ben asked, air quoting and everything. "Joe is everyone's type, there's no excuse." Ben crossed his arms.
"Well, no, is Joe a raging asshole with an alcohol and party addiction, probably likes smoking his weed in his mothers basement and likes to cheat with multiple girls on multiple girls?" Amelia asked sarcastically, side-eyeing Octavia coolly.
"I can guarantee Joe has never seen a blunt in his life, he's also only had maybe three girlfriends, all at different times." Ben answered.
"Then he most definitely isn't Octavia's type." Amelia's words stung Octavia, had Amelia already realized Octavia's screw up? Why was she all of a sudden being so bitchy?
"Forget it, I'm going back to the trailer." Octavia finally said after a few moments of awkward silence.
IMESSAGE
Amelia (amelia badelia🧚🏻♀️)
Octavia (Mrs. Deacon💍)
Mrs. Deacon💍
Okay what gives?
Amelia Badelia🧚🏻♀️
What gives?? You think I wouldn't realize?
Mrs. Deacon💍
Realize what? I haven't done anything.
Amelia Badelia🧚🏻♀️
Oh you mean the cute little notif from Christian? I watched you ignore that. How'd you even get his number, I thought you didn't like him.
Mrs.Deacon💍
You are being so unreasonable!! I know he messaged you about my number in the first place and you didn't tell me, so don't try to play innocent. You have nothing to be mad about anyway, we didn't do anything.
And if you would like to see the message, I'm sure you'll be real disappointed.
read 12:36
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Octavia locked her phone as she huffed, really loud. Why the hell is Amelia so pissed? Sure Octavia blatantly lied to her like 3 times in that conversation, but if she only knew about the notification, did she really have anything to be mad about?
Octavia opened the hair dressers door, and gasped in relief and in exasperation.
"You've been here the whole time?" Octavia asked Brian and Roger, dead shock plastered on her face.
"Oh course dear, when Lucy messaged us we came running over right away." Brian said with ease.
"We've been looking for you guys for the past fifteen minutes!" Octavia admitted with a twinge of annoyance.
"Oh well I'm sorry, dear, I would've messaged you but I don't have any of your contact information." Brian smiled dearly.
"Well, at least he's okay." Octavia nodded her head towards Joe, who was slumped in the corner with an ice pack pressed against his head.
"Thanks for the concern, Octopus." Joe giggled slightly.
"No you no paycheck." Octavia shrugged.
"Is that all I am to you? A walking dollar sign?" Joe asked shocked.
"yes, for one, my job literally revolves around you, and two, you're definitely worth less in this country."
"Excuse you?" Joe asked.
"Here, Joe sweetie, we use pounds, which are worth more than regular US bills." Octavia explained.
"Says you, the American." Joe rolled his eyes.
"You are also American." Octavia shot back.
"A lover's tiff." Roger said under his breath, which caused Brian to giggle.
"I am not and will not take this abuse." Octavia threw her hands up in defeat, trying to mask a smile.
"Okay well, I will leave you all be, c'mon Rog, we have to go check set." Brian said, which he received a groan from Roger.
As the two men left the trailer, Octavia slumped herself down in the hairdressers chair, closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples.
"Damn, someone was so concerned about me." Joe commented to Lucy as they both laughed slightly.
"Ha ha" Octavia returned sarcastically. "It's not you, it's Amelia." Octavia admitted.
"Oh, you're friend?" Joe asked inquisitively.
"Wait, who's Amelia?" Lucy asked, leaning forward in her chair.
"My friend, she came with me today."Octavia sighed, leaning further back in her chair.
"Well, don't leave us hanging. Spill the tea...as i've heard Lucy say before." Joe explained.
"Okay never in my life have I ever said that, you spend too much time on twitter, the only person to blame is yourself." Lucy retaliated, which Joe gave her a look of mock sadness.
"Well, anyway, I don't really wanna talk about it, it's petty stuff anyway. She'll get over it eventually, it's happened before so I'm not worried." Octavia shrugged off her problem like it was nothing.
"Oooh, dark and mysterious back story? You're more interesting than I thought." Joe commented, now sitting cross legged.
"So you're admitting that you thought I was interesting in the first place?" Octavia asked suggestively.
"You play Bass and religiously live the 70s and 80s. There's definitely some emotional trauma there. Tell me I'm wrong." Joe leaned against the wall confidently.
Octavia was speechless.
"Damn, exposed." Lucy commented under her breath. Joe was laughing as Octavia threw a shoe that she found by the door at Lucy, barely missing her ankle.
"Ugh you guys are so rude. I've been nothing but bullied all day." Olivia huffed, a pouty face spread on her face.
"Aww sweetie... do you want a hug?" Joe mocked, causing them all to laugh again.
"No, I want a shot of vodka and 6 baskets of chips." Octavia admitted, to which Lucy laughed.
"Ugh same girl...Same" Lucy added.
"Well I know a place." Joe shrugged.
"Take me, please!" Octavia begged, faking a dramatic faint.
"Oh now you like me?" Joe asked, pretending to be appalled.
"I like you when you offer me food and alcohol." Octavia shrugged, catching a giggle from Lucy.
"Well, this ought to be fun." Joe smirked as he grabbed his jacket and opened the door to the late afternoon breeze.
liked by Lucyboynton1 and 467 others
via_leea: New goons, who dis?😎
@joe_mazzello @Lucyboynton1
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username: So when did THIS hapen?
username: I STAN THREE (3) GOONS
brianmayforreal: So this is where you guys snuck out to ? Ha ha ! Bri
⤷username: what.a.dad
benhardy1: Oh I SEE how it is #takemymanimmabeatthatass
⤷joe_mazzello: @benhardy1 Sorry ben sweetie I was kidnapped by @via_leea
⤷Via_leea: excuse you @joe_mazzello @benhardy1 you suggested leaving and ben sweetie he was never yours to begin with💁🏻♀️
⤷joe_mazzello: @benhardy1 @leea_via 😳😳
lucyboynton1: I love love LOVE you Octavia!!
username: the content I signed up for
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"All I'm saying is, that if a hot dog is technically a sandwich, then a Taco is a sandwich." Joe said defensively as he shrugged his shoulders.
They were leaving the restaurant after an hour of complete nonsense after only ordering 4 baskets of fries but two shots of vodka.
"You're wrong, one because you think a hotdog is a sandwich and that you use that logic to prove that a taco is a sandwich. They're all completely different things." Octavia argued back.
"I don't understand how you even come up with this, Joe." Lucy said, shaking her head.
The three took separate cars, Lucy and then Joe and Octavia. They came to the beginning of the parking lot where they started to say their goodbyes.
"Oh Lucy it was so good meeting you!!" Octavia leaned in for a hug, which Lucy returned.
"We should totally do this again sometime" Lucy commented, "it will be our little borhap tradition."
"Lucy Boynton you're a bonafide genius." Joe said in a mock southern accent.
"Joe, please, never do that again or I'll teach you everything incorrectly." Octavia threatened, to which Joe stopped his accent.
"Well, I will see you all later." Lucy said as they waved their goodbyes and walked away in different directions.
And then there were two.
"So tell me, you and Amelia seemed to be doing totally fine when I first met you, so what's up? It's clear that something is up." Joe looked at Octavia with what she guessed was a serious look, that she's never seen before.
"I promise you it's honestly nothing." Octavia was putting up her barricades.
"No tell me, I live for nothing." Joe tried to joke, which made Octavia smile at least.
"If I told you, you'd think I was a horrible person after making her seem like the bad guy. Plus it's a long story for absolutely no reason at all."
"Well, I've got time. Back to set is 20 minutes, talk fast." Joe shrugged, starting up the engine.
"Actually, I'm going to text Gwil and see if he can take Amelia home. Can you just drop me off at my place instead? If not it's totally fine I-"
"For sure, gives you more time to talk anyway." Joe pulled out of the parking lot.
"Well for starters, we've been on pins and needles for years, I can't be honest with her anymore because I made some really stupid decisions, but that's a story for another time. "
"Which you will be telling me by the way." Joe chimed in.
"Well anyway, we were at this coffee shop by our old high school, when she met this totally gorgeous Barista. But just like all the other guys she picks, they always fall for me and I hate it because it feels like there's competition when I don't even want the guy."
"But let me guess, this guy wasn't like other guys?" Joe insinuated.
"I mean, kind of but not at first. I've learned to not even say who I think is attractive in front of her. But anyway, he ended up asking me out and she got really upset and rattled on about how she didn't like or want him anymore."
"So you're still in the right, I'm not seeing how she can be mad at you."
"Well I'm getting there. But I went to the coffee shop after hours to give him a proper rejection, just to let him know that I could never be with him. But he ended up kissing me and then it became a whole mess.
And then I found out that he had asked Amelia for my phone number but she never carried on the message, but I did end up getting his number. Which leads us to today."
"I'm still not getting Amelia's point but please continue." Joe scrunched his face into a confused look.
"Well I had texted him earlier about going to set with Amelia today, and then she saw a notification in my phone about him wishing me a good day on set. Then she got mad because I was keeping secrets, which I totally was but then I lied about it and then stormed off."
"And you lied about what exactly?"
"That me and Christian hadn't done anything. She thinks it's strictly platonic."
"Ah I see, so why can't you just tell her the truth?"
"Are you kidding? That's basically suicide." Octavia blurted.
"It sounds like you need a new best friend." Joe advised.
"But I love her and she does help me a lot, I just I don't know what to think anymore, she's such a hypocrite." Octavia closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.
Her and Joe were quiet for the next few minutes to her and Gwil's apartment. They only talked when Octavia was giving Joe directions. Eventually he managed to pull into the right division to their place.
"Wait... hold up." Octavia said suddenly.
"I'm confused, what's wrong?"
"Who's car is that?" Octavia pointed to a car parked in front of her building, engine still on, with a person still siting in the drivers seat, staring directly at Joe and Octavia.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN:: This is by far my longest chapter so that's fun. I hope y'all are enjoying this story so far, I really enjoying writing it!! Anyway, can't wait to add more, I love Joe's character so far and I'm excited to develop Octavia.
ANpt2:: CEO of still writing a borhap fic in 2020😎