"How is she doing?" Crowsky questioned Ravenheart as the medicine cat sniffed the dwindling fresh-kill pile.
"Same as this morning, Crowsky." Ravenheart replied, flicking his ears in annoyance. "She's very sick, but she's hanging on for now." He met Crowsky's gaze, nothing about his expression quelled Crowsky's fears. "I will let you know if anything changes, just keep the Clan fed. You have a duty to the Clan, Crowsky. Leave Silverpool to me."
Ravenheart walked away, leaving Crowsky feeling cold and terrified. Crowsky sighed and turned away from the fresh-kill pile, he wasn't hungry. He barely slept the past moon knowing that Silverpool was riddled with greencough. I hate not being able to do anything. Crowsky lashed his tail. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her.
"Hey there." Crowsky heard a soothing voice and saw Frostfire padding up to him from the warrior's den. "Any word on Silverpool?"
Crowsky shook his head. "Still sick." He scraped his claws against the frozen ground. "I can't seem to focus on anything." He grit his teeth. "I can't lose Silverpool, I already lost my birth mother, what will I do without her?"
Frostfire's green eyes clouded with sadness. "Crowsky, even if you do lose Silverpool, you'll be able to go on. You're not the cat you used to be." Crowsky stepped back, lightning striking his heart.
"Don't even say that." He growled. "I don't want to think about losing her, as of right now I'm not thinking of that as an option." He stormed away from Frostfire, unable to control his emotions. He didn't like arguing with her, but the thought of losing Silverpool was too much for him to think about.
"Crowsky," A mew spoke up from beside him. He looked to see Dovestorm padding up with him. "Who do you want for the next patrols." Crowsky's head was too troubled to think of patrols.
"Uh," He thought for a moment. "I guess--you can lead the next hunting patrol." Cats started gathering around him. "Take Dogtail, Longwhisker, Cedarclaw and Snakepelt."
"I just got back from the last border patrol." Cedarclaw mewed in annoyance. "You want me to go on another patrol right away?"
"Err, no, sorry." Crowsky felt like he was getting overwhelmed. "You can go on the night hunting patrol later, and uh--" His eyes scanned the crowd, trying to remember who had already been on a patrol. "Brambleflight you can go in his place." No cat complained. "The next border patrol will be Rainypelt, Cinderfur, Longwhisker--"
"So I'm supposed to do both patrols?" Longwhisker asked, looking skeptical.
"S-sorry, I--"
"Are you doing alright, Crowsky?" Rainypelt questioned, concern lining her mews.
"I just--" Crowsky felt completely overwhelmed. I can't handle this.
"Give him a moment," It was Shadowpelt who stepped forward. "Someone Crowsky cares about is very sick, it makes sense that his mind is a little cloudy." Crowsky stared in shock that Shadowpelt of all cats had stepped up for him. "If you need to take a break, I can take over patrols if you don't mind."
Crowsky felt slightly suspicious, but he decided not to question him too much. "Thank you, Shadowpelt." Crowsky bowed his head, maybe Shadowpelt really had matured and gotten over what happened countless moons ago. Crowsky wanted to get his paws out on the moor, but he wanted to do it alone.
Crowsky quickly padded out of camp and onto the moorland. It felt like it had been so long since he ventured out on his own. Ever since he returned he always had cats to hunt with. Crowsky began running, his paws kicking up snow. The air was cold, it bit at his ears and nose, but once he started going, his pumping blood kept him warm enough.
Without realizing it, Crowsky had nearly reached the twolegplace, he skidded to a stop, his heart pounding in his chest. He stared out into the twolegplace, it seemed like so unbelievably long ago that Crowsky had left his territory, the twolegplace seemed so foreign to him now. Once again, Crowsky thought of Ivy.
He looked up towards the sky. "Ivy," he spoke. "If you can hear me, please don't take Silverpool from me. I love her, I need her." Crowsky knew that Silverpool's age was showing, she wasn't as young and lithe as she used to be. There was a high chance that Silverpool wouldn't survive this illness. I can't let her death destroy me, but what do I do?
Crowsky, even if you do lose Silverpool, you'll be able to go on. You're not the cat you used to be. Frostfire's voice rang in his ears. I shouldn't have snapped at her, she was just trying to help. Crowsky turned back towards camp, he had to apologize to her.
Crowsky ran through the snow back to camp, he spotted Frostfire staring at a piece of prey. He padded up to her, his ears low. "Frostfire, I'm sorry." He mewed. She lifted her head and looked up at him. "I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm just scared to lose Silverpool."
"I know you are." Frostfire stood up, pressing her muzzle to his. "Believe me, I know what it's like to lose a parent. I felt the same way when Owlstar died, it sucks not being able to do anything but hunt and wait. No matter what happens to Silverpool, you'll be okay Crowsky. You'll always have her love, whether she's in the stars in the Clan with us."
"I know." Crowsky sighed, breathing in Frostfire's sweet scent. "Thank you, Frostfire. I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to handle this without you."
Crowsky forced himself to eat some prey, even if it was a little bit. As he and Frostfire ate, he spotted Badgerstripe crossing camp. He had worry written across his face, and trouble deep within his yellow eyes. What's wrong? Crowsky wondered, it didn't look like grief as if someone had died, but as if he feared someone would. Crowsky's heart dropped as he realized Badgerstripe was going to the leader's den.
"I'll be right back." Crowsky rose to his paws and quickly trotted over to the leader's den and poked his head inside. "What's going on?"
"Nothing, Crowsky." Cloudstar replied, Crowsky was shocked at how dry her voice was, her eyes and nose were streaming and her blue gaze was dull.
"You're sick, Cloudstar." Badgerstripe mewed sharply. "Crowsky you should get out of here, we don't need our leader and deputy sick."
"Right," Crowsky hesitantly turned away and returned to Frostfire.
"What's going on?" She questioned.
"Cloudstar is sick."
"Oh no," Frostfire tensed. "Is this her last life?"
"I don't know." Crowsky sighed. I'm not ready to be leader, this can't be her last life. Crowsky closed his eyes and Frostfire must have sensed his stress because she began rasping her tongue across his pelt, keeping him warm and helping him relax. With Frostfire at his side, Crowsky spent the rest of his day trying to ignore the turmoil that was gripping the ones he loved.
Crowsky stepped out into the chilly morning air, longing for the warmth of Frostfire, but patrols had to be done. He needed to get patrols done, he couldn't dump his responsibilities onto Shadowpelt again. As he woke himself up, he caught a black and white pelt leaving the medicine cat den, it was Badgerstripe with grief-stricken eyes. No.
"Crowsky," Badgerstripe stepped forward.
"Is Silverpool--"
"She took a turn for the worse last night, she doesn't have much time and she wants to talk to you." Crowsky's shattered inside his chest. This is it. The walk to the medicine cat den seemed to take forever, the world around him slowed. I have to say goodbye. His pawsteps felt heavy, the snow threatened to freeze them to the ground. It felt like moments ago that Crowsky was making this same walk to talk to Riverlight.
As he padded through the snow towards the den he thought about all the time he spent with Silverpool. When he was barely a kit and she reached out to him, inviting him to a simple game. She became his mentor, they swam together, hunted together and fished together with Blacksky at their side.
Silverpool vowed to take care of him when Riverlight wouldn't, she became his true mother. When Blacksky died, she held him close and safe. When he ran away, Silverpool followed him until she let him follow his own path and when he finally returned, she welcomed him back with just as much love as when he left. She's the most important cat in my life.
Crowsky finally reached the medicine cat den and stepped inside, Silverpool was curled up in her nest. She lifted her head weakly. "Oh, Crowsky..." She breathed out, her voice low and dry. Crowsky felt his legs begin to shake, he nearly sprinted across the medicine cat den and buried his nose in Silverpool's pelt.
"I don't want to lose you." He wept. "You've given me so much, you're everything to me."
"I hate to leave you." Silverpool rested her head on Crowsky's head. "But it's my time, you're strong, you'll be okay when I pass." Crowsky lifted his head, his eyes burning into hers. "You look so much like Blacksky," She closed her eyes and lifted her head towards the sky. "I can't wait to see him again."
Crowsky pressed his muzzle into her chest. "Tell him I miss him, please. I love him, and I love you."
"I love you too, Crowsky. Always, never forgot that." Silverpool purred. "When I'm gone, don't be sad for me, live on, follow your path and hold onto love, never let it go."
"I won't." Crowsky's body trembled. "I love you, Silverpool. I'll never forget the things you did for me."
The two of them stopped talking, Crowsky curled up beside his true mother. The cat who cared for him, loved him and encouraged him no matter what. His heart never wanted to let her go, but he didn't have a choice.
"I'm coming, Blacksky." Silverpool whispered and Crowsky felt her heartbeat get slower and slower until it came to a complete stop. She was gone, guided to the stars by Blacksy. Crowsky stayed where he was, he wanted to feel her warmth for the last time, before it was gone forever.
At long last, Crowsky rose to his paws. He took one long look at Silverpool's lifeless form, she looked like she was sleeping but he knew so much better. May StarClan guide your paws, Silverpool. I'll see you again. He pressed his muzzle to hers and turned to Badgerstripe. "Thank you for all you do, thank you for caring for her."
"It's my honor to serve this Clan." Badgerstripe bowed his head. Crowsky stepped out into the camp, feeling like a part of him was gone. He looked up towards the sky. Not gone, just far away. He told himself.
Crowsky spotted Driftwater leaving from the warriors den. He needs to know. Crowsky padded over to Driftwater, the cat had been so kind to him, not a new father, but he cared as one. "Driftwater," Crowsky was surprised at how weak his voice was. "Silverpool is gone."
Grief flooded his eyes. "Were you with her?" Crowsky nodded. Driftwater took a deep breath. "Thank you, I hope she passed peacefully."
"She did." For a moment, Crowsky and Driftwater pressed against each other, bonded over their love of Silverpool. This leafbare has been so hard. Coughing made Crowsky's ear twitch, he turned towards the leader's den. And something tells me that it's not over yet.