After Remy criticized Virgil for being late, Virgil got a text.
He looked into the group chat he had with Remus and Janus, which was called The windy bum boys.
Liarliarpantsdownandonfire: did your dad do anything?
Stinky trash man: I WILL FITE
Emo nightmare: no. He was passed out drunk on the couch. Idk how my mom doesn't know he drinks
Stinky trash man: Janus we need to plot a plan to e x p o s e this poor man's daddy!
Liarliarpantsdownandonfire: never say that again. Also, who changed my name? -___-
Stinky trash man: 😘
Liarliarpantsdownandonfire has changed their name to Deceit
Deceit: 😇
Stinky trash man: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Emo nightmare: Rofl
Remus and Janus put their phones away and saw Virgil snickering into his hand.
"That's so mean to just laugh at me like that!" Remus whined and stomped his foot.
"What'd I miss?" Patton asked.
Remy grabbed tape that seemed to manifest out of nowhere and put it on Roman's mouth. "Don't." He said, pushing his sunglasses up.
Roman ripped the tape off and started screaming the lyrics to what'd I miss.
The trio looked up and realized their friends existed.
"Oh, nothing." Virgil said to Patton quietly. Remus interrupted him. "IT IS NOT NOTHING," he screamed and continued. "JANUS BROKE MY HEART!" He started fake sobbing into Roman's chest.
"Remus, it was a group chat name." Janus deadpanned.
"He doesn't even care!" Remus exclaimed dramatically.
Virgil rolled his eyes and snickered into his hand again.
Roman looked at Virgil and said with a wink, "don't hide that pretty little smile of yours."
"EW! Stop hitting on my best friend!" Janus and Remus said at the same time.
Patton, before anything extreme would happen, exclaimed excitedly, " Hey! How about we play two truths and a lie!"
"Sounds good!" Emile chirped.
"Yeah, that's cool babes." Remy said with finger guns.
Noises of agreement came from the other lazy humans.
"Virgil how about you go first?" Patton asked.
Virgil tensed up and started panicking.
"Virgil. Relax. There is absolutely nothing you can do to screw this up." Janus said in a gentle tone.
Virgil nodded and said anxiously "uhhhhhhhmmmm...My favorite color is black like my soul, my eyes are green, and I have so much self hatred that I call myself worthless on a daily basis."
.."you are an emo nightmare..." Roman whispered.
"Well we all know which one is true-" Patton started.
"His eyes aren't green." Remy said and sipped some of his pumpkin spice latte.
"Oh." Patton said.
Then it clicked.
"YOU'VE DONE WHAT? MY POOR DARK STRANGE SON!" He aggressively hugged Virgil.
Virgil, who isn't used to positive physical contact from people, flinched away, screamed "i'm sorry" and put his arms around his head.
"Woah kiddo!" Patton said worried.
Remus and Janus ran over to a hyperventilating Virgil and started reassuring him in quiet voices.
"Virgil, it's okay! It was just Patton! You're at my house, you're safe, you're safe." Remus started.
"Yes, remember the breathing exercises? Crap I forgot them-" Janus said but was cut off by Emile.
"Virgil. Look at me." Virgil looked up weakly. "Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight." Emile slowly repeated the exercise with Virgil, and soon enough his breathing evened out.
Patton whimpered. "Virgil..i'm sorry kiddo.. I just like to hug people!"
"It's okay Patton, everything just happened so fast and your arms came at me so quickly and it reminded me-" he cut himself off before he gave out to much information.
Janus and Remus gave everyone the 'don't push it' look.
"Anyways!" Virgil said abruptly. "Let's finish the game.
"Wait, where's bookworm?" Remy asked genuinely confused.
They all quieted down and heard slurping noises.
"What's that suction noise?" Roman asked.
They all walked into the kitchen and saw Logan sucking aggressively on a jar of crofter's, it almost looked like he was making out with it.
He finished the jar and started licking the inside clean.
"Logan, what are you...?" Patton asked, gesturing to a crofter's covered logan.
"I am a homo sapien." Logan said, matter of factly.
"Clever way to come out" Roman said, smirking.
"What-that means human!" Logan said defensively.
"Logan, you're being a tad bit-"
"I'm not defensive!" He pouted defensively.
"This conversation is over!" Logan said loudly.
"But-" Roman began but was cut off by a angry logan, "over!"
Roman started singing suddenly, "If you were gay that'd be okay I mean 'cause, hey I'd like you anyway Because you see If it were me I would feel free to say that I was gay (but I'm not gay)!"
Remus started laughing. "You are the gayest person I know Roman, don't even!"
"That statement is invalid." Remy said, letting his sunglasses fall slightly down his nose to glare at Remus. "I would fight for that title."
"Oh hot da-"
"LANGUAGE!" Emile was cut off by Patton.
Emile pouted.
"You don't want to fight Remus." Janus said, drooling, thinking back to when he beat up Ram and Kurt in the bathroom.
"Janus, figuratively, get your tongue off the floor." Logan said.
Remus flexed his non-existent muscles and said, "Get your tongue out of my crofter's jar."
"Lol" Remy said in a deadpan.
Soon enough, Logan got cleaned up and everyone went into Remus's bedroom to play truth or dare.
'Welp i'm going to die during this multiple times.' Virgil thought to himself.