I pulled over to an empty parking space. I pulled out my phone, and dialed Emmett.
"Hey there mama wolf. What's up?" Emmett grinned.
"Can, can you, can you come to Port Angeles?" My voice was trembling. I was stuttering.
"Yeah. Where are you? Are you ok?" Emmett's usually casual voice was stern, with concern.
"I'm three blocks from my grocery store. I, I can't drive." I had my head against the steering wheel. My body was trembling. Sebastian was safe, and sound. He was asleep in his car seat.
"What happened? Are you ok?" He asked again.
"I had an anxiety attack or something. I saw this car accident unfold, in my head. I can't drive anymore. I have the car on so it's warm. The baby is asleep." I clutched my phone.
"Yeah, Edward, and I are on our way. See you soon." He hung up, and sat quietly.
Next I sent Hunter a text
"My brothers are coming to drive me home." I hit send
He replied within seconds, "Why? Is everything ok?"
I wrote back, "Had an anxiety attack. I will explain when you get home. We're ok. I'm just too shaky to drive."
He wrote back, "Alright. Go home. Get some rest, and have lunch. I will be home early. I don't have a last period class. I love you."
I smiled, and wrote back, "I love you too."
I dozed off in the car, with the doors locked. Emmett knocked on the glass. I unlocked the door, and stepped out. I hugged him tightly.
"Hey you're ok. You're both ok." Edward walked over, and looked in the back.
"He's still asleep. Let's get you both home." He smiled, and returned to his car.
Emmett opened my door for me, and I climbed in. He walked around, and climbed in. "Alright home we go." he grinned shifting the car into gear, and we were on our way.
"Trick or Treat?" A little minion is holding out their pumpkin pale to collect candy.
"Here you go sweetheart. Happy Halloween." I place the piece of candy in the bucket, then shut the door.
"How do humans eat this stuff?" Emmett is loud, and I roll my eyes.
"How do vampires eat this stuff?" I hold up Sebastian's stuffed animal of a bear.
Emmett gives me a devilish grin, "Easy. Here Mr. Bear. I have some honey for you."
I laugh, shaking my head.
"Oh that's such a lie. We tell the bears we have Eeyore, Rabbit, or Tigger." Edward smirked.
I just shake my head, "So why do I have my two brothers here babysitting me?" I sit down, curling up.
Emmett walked over, and sat down beside me, putting his arm around my shoulder, "Well, Hunter was taking care of some things at the book store. Plus total strangers knocking at your door. Plus earlier, just put you on the family radar."
Edward smiled, "Hunter didn't want you home completely alone. Just in case trick, or treaters came. If Sebastian needed you, once of us," Edward smirked, "primarily I could hand out candy."
The girls all decided to go out together. I wasn't in the mood. Renesmee, had gone to a party with Jacob on the reservation. Carlisle, and Esme had the house to themselves, and Jasper was away with some business to attend to.
"I could just shut off the porch light, and not pass out any candy." I smiled at my brothers.
"Five bucks you'd be eating it all by yourself." Emmett laughed.
I shook my head, "No I'm a Lindt Chocolate kind of girl."
Edward smiled, "Chocolate has changed over the years, but doesn't everything?"
That was the god honest truth.
The doorbell rang again, and this time, Sebastian started crying. I got up, and headed upstairs, while one of the guys answered the door.
"Honey I'm so sorry. I know shot's stink." I cradled Sebastian carefully. He'd had his shots today at his four month check up. I still hadn't felt good since the appointment. He moaned, and was so irritable. I was trying so hard.
"Why not let me hold him. You relax, and get some tea." Edward had come up quietly.
"Thank you. Can you give him some Motrin please?" I was tired. I hadn't slept the night before, and today was the icing on the cake. I kissed Sebastian's forehead, and went downstairs.
"Whoa you're a vampire. That's such a cool costume." Emmett's enthusiastic voice could be heard I would swear for miles. The door shut, and he came out to the kitchen.
I poured a glass of ginger ale. I didn't have patience for the tea tonight.
"Stomach upset?" Emmett nodded towards my glass.
"Yeah. After Sebastian had his shots, my stomach turned." Emmett grabbed some crackers from the cabinet, and handed them to me.
"Go put your feet up, and I will turn on the fire if you want?" He smiled.
"That would be great." I hugged him, and curled up on the couch.
Emmett flipped the switch for our new gas fireplace. It warmed the room quickly.
I set down the glass, and crackers. It wasn't going to work.
"You ok there?" Emmett turned looking at me. My stomach made this horrible groaning sound.
"Emmett, can you and Edward stay until Hunter's home?" I quickly got to my feet.
"Of course sis." He stood up, looking at me.
"I'm just feeling crummy. I'm going to lay down. You can watch what ever you want." I laid back down on the couch, and pulled the blanket off the back.
Emmett sat down, and flipped on some horror movie. I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eye.
I closed my eyes, and was able to fall asleep.
"He's back down. Is she ok?" Edward quietly walked in, and sat down.
"She looked like she might bolt, then laid down, and fell asleep." Emmett shifted.
Edward spoke softly, "She thought she was going to be sick."
Hunter arrived shortly after nine o'clock. "Hello there." He smiled walking into the living room, setting his keys down. "How was everything here?"
Edward smiled, "Good. Quite a few candy seekers. Sebastian had a little trouble."
Hunter nodded, "How's she doing?" He asked leaning over, and kissing my forehead.
"She wasn't feeling too good. Passed on dinner. I think she's overtired, plus today was quite hard." Edward spoke softly, and stood up. Emmett followed him.
"She was very upset after his appointment. She wouldn't put him in his car seat, until we were actually getting in the car." He sat down, carefully moving my feet.
"Well they're both asleep now. Have a good night. We'll see you this weekend hopefully?" Edward asked.
"May be a visit up here, if that's ok. She's really been working a lot, and it's caught up to her." Hunter suggested.
"We'll figure it out. See you later." Edward smiled.
Emmett grinned, "Behave you two." Then he slipped out the front door.
I stirred a little, "Mmm."
Hunter smiled, rubbing my thigh, "Hey babe. Want to go to bed?"
I nodded, sitting up. "Did my brothers leave?" I yawned, rubbing my eyes.
"About five minutes ago." Hunter took the blanket, and folded it up.
It is 6am, just got home with the girls, well were at the Cullen house, time to go back to an empty house. I refused to speak to him about my feelings, avoiding him ever since, I feel so drained, I have no idea which way to turn. After saying my goodbyes I begin the journey home. It is so peaceful and dark, just the way I like it. There is a brisque wind.
Fred waited on the porch. His heart broken. The girl he loved, had been avoiding him for several days now. He sighed, and held the flowers.
Walking up the driveway, I can tell he is there, I stop, I don't know what to do, I have never yet avoided a problem, until now and of course the whole running away thing, but in my defense it gave me time to gather my thoughts, somewhat.
He looked up smiling, "These are for you. Lilies, or Fleur De Lis. The meanings vary. I see it for
Hope
Faith
Birth
Purity
Renewal
Promise
Passion
Becoming
Innocence
Transitioning
These are all things you're going through. He handed her the Lillie's smiling.
I take the flowers carefully, smelling them they let off such a sweet scent, looking up at him, "Dad told you I suppose?" My voice is quiet.
Fred shrugged, "I've been where you've been. Running is an ability, and I use it at times still. Not since I've met you.
"So you've been spying on me?" I click my tongue, I need to keep calm, "you seriously want to know how I feel? And yes I know you feel lost because I have gone off on one."
Fred shook his head, "No not at all. I just could tell. It's weird recently, it's like I know what you're going to do." He looked concerned, and some what afraid. He couldn't lose the one person he loved.
I stamp my foot, "Damn everything," my hands start to shake, "I'm changing, I'm not prepared for it, I will feel pain, part of me says I'm fine, the other part of me says I'm having a nervous breakdown and if I don't come to terms with it, that will be the end, not to menion," growling, "the god killer element has partially activated," sitting on the porch, "What scares me more is having to let you all watch this happen, I'm falling and no-one but me can stop it." Tears are so close so I take a deep breath.
Fred walked over to her, and hugged her, "Watching is hard. Experiencing it, is even more difficult. Being there for my future wife, that is my pleasure, as well as my job. We'll be ok."
I hug him back tightly, "I'm breaking," wiping the tears away, "so Alice said you wanted to discuss something with me." I try hard to smile.
Fred smiled, "Everything breaks eventually, but then it's reborn. Yes I want to know when do you want to get married?"
"That's not a discussion," standing up, "right now I have no clue, I haven't even given it any thought," best tell him, "taking Leah and myself away for a few days, it will do us both good, I've ok'd it with Dr Martin." I stand there waiting for the answer.
Fred nodded, "Ara, would you rather remain free?"
I take a few steps back, "What?" Anger is stirring and I can't stop it.
Fred looks concerned, "I just worry. You tell me your changing, and you've been ok your own for almost 600 years."
"Because I thought that's how I would always be, this change could make you change your mind also," grabbing my car keys, "I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't willing to go forward," I take the ring off and plant it in his hand, "go tend to the business it needs you,hope it makes you happy, right now we're both screwed, I always wished for someone to hold me, you were that one person," getting in the car, "when you get chance listen to demons by Imagine dragons and Of the night by Bastille." Revving the engine, "I've never felt so destroyed in my entire life."
Fred blurred quickly getting into the passengers side, "Stop and just listen. Jesus Christ." Fred never swore, I mean never. He looked at Ara, and if Fred could cry, he would be, "For starters, "I will stay with you, if you grow old and die; or if you lived forever." Fred put the ring back on her finger, "As for the business, I'm all done. I just had to get it started. Now I'm home." He looked at her. He picked up her phone, and looked up a song. "Here. To show I'm true to you." Fort Atlantic took over the car stereo.
All my days are spent
All my cards are dealt
Oh the desolation grows
Every inch revealed
As my heart is pierced
Oh my soul is now exposed
In the ocean deep
In the canyons steep
Walls of granite here I stand
All my desperate calls
Echo off the walls
Back and forth
Then back again
To believe I walk alone
Is a lie that I've been told
So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
Like the high tide takes the sand
At the bitter end
Salt and liquid blend
From the corner of my eye
All the miles wrecked
Every broken step
Always searching always blind
Never fear, No Never fear
So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
There's another hill ahead
He kissed her softly, and stepped out of the car. The decision was hers.
I listened to every word the song offered me, I look at him longingly, I'm in such a hard place, turning the engine off, I find a CD and put on Demons by imagine dragons -
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
At the curtain's call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made
Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
I open the car door and step out letting the music spread, "dance with me." I whisper softly in his ear.
He walked over, carefully lifting her up, and started dancing with her.
"So, our first major bust up," I yawn, "wow," I press my lips against his.
He kissed her back, with feverish passion. "I don't fight. I just stay quiet, and let people blow off."
"I blow like a volcano, habit I guess, I couldn't bare driving off, I revved the engine out of fury," I touch his cheek softly, "take me to bed." My eyes showed longing, passion and acceptance, he was here to stay, forever, how ever long that maybe. My little demon stayed quiet, good.
Fred looked at her, nervously. This was his first love. His first crush. His first of many kisses with Ara. He was a virgin to every aspect of a romantic relationship.
I look at him, yep he's nervous just as I am, "Okay, take me to bed," I look at him, "not like that, you look too nervous, we can discuss when this wedding should be held? Guests, all that dreamy stuff." I kiss him on the lips.
He smiled, laughing nervously. "I just want you to know its with love that I'd do anything. If I'm intimate with you, I want to worship you. If you want to, I'm slow at this. I want to learn you, and your body." He smiled a genuine smile, not like the ones Ara had received from other men.
"And with love I have to say, I'm just as nervy as you, my first love, my only love, no other can match up to you, never," smiling a bright smile, "let's work on the worship thing, hey we've got forever so time is of no issue," I whisper, "I didn't know what love felt like, the boyfriend girlfriend thing, until I saw you," I snuggle into his neck, "I love you with everything I have, I want to make you happy, pick you up when you're down," I'm starting to fight the draw of sleep, "forever."
I remember all the smiles guys had given me since moving here, none were geniune, all were lustful.
He held her tightly. "Let's get you into some pajamas. I don't sleep, but I will hold you all night." He kissed her deeply.
"Can't argue with that, sleep is new for me, very odd," smiling, "and I will stay with you forever." I kiss him on the cheek.
Fred smiled carrying Ara, and scooped up her flowers, and headed inside.