❛❛ nothing. nothing's bothering me ❜❜
❛❛ the stench of alcohol and
the bags under your eyes
says otherwise ❜❜
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
dawon kneels on the floor. his two hands placed by his lap as he looks down.
"i.. i didn't think of the consequences of my actions. i was greedy and that led to the deaths of my fellow crew mates" he mumbles.
hongjoong fires the musketoon, hitting the floor beside dawon- he didnt care whether he was destroying his own ship, it was already ruined in the first place.
"i fucking asked you why you did it you ungrateful asshole. we took you in and treated you as family when your own kin didnt even see you as one"
dawon trembles a little "i didnt want to be like this, i didnt want to be a subordinate to any of you. i wanted to be part of the higher positions, not just a measly powder monkey" he says "that man, jongil, bribed me.. telling me that once i give them the coordinates of our next venture, they'll take me in.. give me money and a high position in some army"
"so you sold us off just like that? betrayed us?" hongjoong throws him a necklace, its charm and chain landing in front of him- a necklace that was so so familiar to him. the other's eyes started to tear up as he stares at the accessory "your brother jaeyoon died today. you.. didnt even think about him"
dawon cries as he takes hold of the necklace and clenches it around his fist. hongjoong looks at him with pity before wiping it off his face and looks at him emotionlessly once again.
"lock him up. we'll drop him off at the nearest deserted island, let him bring his guilt for the rest of his life"
-
the siblings handled their grief in different ways.
san went ahead and did his tasks around the ship, helping the injured and portraying his duties as the ship's medic. he tried to keep himself busy so that he wouldnt have to think about soobin.
soojin on the other hand, was locking herself inside her room. refusing any food or comfort the boys were giving her. she was spacing out inside her room, the news about her brother has brought back the years of pain she had felt when san was taken.. but this was worst.
she was bundling herself in her blanket as she stares at the flowers by her table.
"be careful honey" soobin ran around the palace garden with san chasing him around.
soojin was sitting on her father's lap, holding a flower in her hand "look at this father, isnt it pretty? mom! daisies are your favorite right?" the princess wiggles her small hand in front of their mother, who bears a bright smile.
soobin came and jumped into the queen's arms, hugging her as san catched up to him "daisies are also my favorite" he said, going somewhere before returning with a handful of daisies. their mother and father looks at the middle child in horror "where did you get those honey?"
soobin gives the bouquet to their mother "i pulled them out the from the garden-"
"your majesty!" the servants ran breathless as they look back and forth the child and the flowers "we tried to stop him"
the queen chuckles as she takes the flowers and dismisses the servants "these are beautiful. thank you"
soojin chuckles sadly, as a memory from her childhood returns. a single tear dropping and soaks the pillow below.
"soojin?" a knock came by her door. the navigator held a tray with some soup and water "can i come in? i have some food and something for you to drink" she doesn't reply as she hears seonghwa dropping the tray and placing it just outside her door "i'll leave it here.. please do eat"
soojin buries her face in her pillow once again as the navigator leaves.
seonghwa finds himself in front of the gunner's door. wooyoung, after the attack, had distanced himself from everyone. he shrugged off all the questions of 'are you alright?' or 'did something happen?'
but seonghwa knew better. he knew that something was bothering the gunner and he wanted to find out what.
he knocks on the door as he hears a hum, signalling him to enter the room. wooyoung was sprawled along his bed, his back against the mattress and his eyes trained to the ceiling above. he looks at seonghwa as he tries to hide away the bottle of beer under his bed.
"dont even try to hide that wooyoung" the navigator sat on the other's bed, staring at the gunner who also sat up. the latter gives him a sheepish smile as he scratches the back of his head and crosses his legs together.
"what's bothering you?" he asked as wooyoung shrugged "nothing. nothing's bothering me" the gunner said.
"the stench of alcohol and the bags under your eyes says otherwise" seonghwa crosses his arms as he looks at the gunner "i've known you for so long wooyoung, you arent going to fool me.. i heard what that man said, how did he know your name?"
wooyoung looks at him wide-eyed. this was a part of his story that almost nobody knew. that man, jongil, was someone he was very familiar with.
seonghwa holds the younger's hand. wooyoung takes a deep breath before conveying his story.
"he.. he was someone i was close with before, he was like an uncle to me but everything changed when he was taken by the higher ups. he changed.. he was there- he-" the gunner chocked on his words "i never saw him again until today"
wooyoung continued to tell his story, with seonghwa nodding along. the older tried to understand what the gunner was telling. his fist held the sheets tightly as he felt his blood boiling.
"that asshole" seonghwa suddenly said. he placed his hand over his lips as he himself looked shocked "im sorry for the language" he said, making the younger laugh.
"lets.. keep this between us for now" the gunner said "we already have tons of problems right now and i dont want to add up to the pile. hongjoong already seems super stressed as well"
seonghwa understood what the gunner meant. after the incident, they've been pretty busy as they're trying their best to get treasure to the nearest port island- bogwon, which would still take them a few days to reach. the navigator nodded "well.. join us for dinner if you can"
he leaves the gunner alone, closing the door behind him and walking to the kitchen.
yeosang bumps into him, saying sorry first as the wizard walks pass the navigator and into the direction of soojin's room.
yeosang raises his arm, hesitant to knock on the princess's door. he, jongho and san have talked after, the two explaining that they weren't given the opportunity to tell them.. they didnt want to ruin the atmosphere around the ship and the joy they saw the princess with was something they couldnt destroy. san understood that the two had good intentions to keep it a secret from them, but soojin has avoided the two ever since.
the wizard takes a deep breath before knocking on the door softly "uhmm.. soojin, can i come in?" minutes pass as he doesn't hear an answer.
"i need to talk to you" he tries but yet again, gets no response from the girl. he sighs, scolding himself on why he didnt tell the princess sooner.
"ok.. just- i'll stay here outside until you let me in.. but for now, please listen" yeosang sat himself on the floor, pushing the tray of food to the side, before hugging his knees as he rests his back onto the door. he places his head against it as he stares at the wall in front of him.
"im sorry i didn't tell you sooner... you just looked so happy and i didnt want to ruin that. its been so so long since i've seen you smile like that and.. my heart just wouldn't be able to handle it when i see you going through whatever you went through when san was gone" he stops, wiping a stray tear "i've felt so guilty that i couldnt do anything to stop him from getting killed or you getting taken. i've been carrying this for so long and.. i want to say sorry, for failing you and your family.. im sorry for being a horrible person and a friend as well"
he hears shuffling on the otherside of the door followed by a small thud. yeosang quickly stands up and faces the door as soojin opens it by a tiny bit, leaving a gap so that they could see eachother's face.
"you may be a horrible person for not telling me.. but you will never be a horrible friend" she said, opening the door wider "come in"
the two sit on her bed. soojin's back against the wall while yeosang had his legs crossed, facing her.
"im sorr-"
"is your shoulder all better now?" she points to him as he looks at his own shoulder, unconsciously moving it around.
he nods his head before speaking again "look.. soojin, im so-"
"dont" soojin said, looking down to her fidgeting hands "i was being childish.. blaming you for not telling me sooner"
yeosang felt tears brimming along his eyes yet he was afraid to let it out. soojin stared at him, his face was looking down yet she knew that he was close to crying "im the one who should say sorry.. i didnt know that you've been feeling like this, if i knew, i should have tried to talk to you- share the burden -because you were always there when i needed you the most.. im sorry if i wasn't when you needed me"
she reached out and held the wizard's hand before pulling him towards her. yeosang followed as she wrapped her arms around him "like i told you years back and before.. stop blaming yourself because none of this is your fault"
he did it. he cried as he held the princess tightly. it broke her heart to see the wizard, who've never cried in front of anyone, breaking down in her arms. yet for some reason she was happy, happy that the wizard was finally able to let everything go.
she caress his back as the wizard dug his face onto her neck, his tears soaking her clothes "t-thank you.. soojin" he said in between sobs "for being my shelter.. y-you and san are all i have, the reason why- why i left everything behind.. im sorry you got mad at me"
soojin felt herself tearing up as well, holding yeosang tighter so that her tears wouldnt fall down "we're always here for you.. and i wont be able to stay mad at you, you idiot.. i love you too much"
yeosang smiled at that, pulling his face away and wiping away the tears with the back of his hand "i love you too princess"
he quickly corrects himself, waving his two arms in front "you and san. you're both family to me" his ears turns to a slight pink, silently praying that the princess doesn't notice it.
soojin chuckles weakly "you better join them for dinner.. im- i'll stay here"
yeosang was hesitant to leave her alone, as he felt that tiny spark of joy leave her almost instantly "are you sure?"
she nodded, giving him a small smile "i want to be alone for now.. but thank you for coming here. also, please tell jongho that im not mad at him.. ok?"
the wizard stands up, nodding before leaving her room. soojin hears the door click and lays flat in her bed once again, letting the darkness of the night swarm around her.
thoughts swirl around her mind as she plucks off some petals from her marigolds as well as a whole daisy. she holds them all in one hand, letting her free hand open the porthole in her room. she places her hand outside and lets go of the petals, the wind blowing them away from the ship.
she knew she wouldn't be able to find sleep tonight- like the past two nights when they first found out about soobin.
i wish i could have been a better friend to yeosang.. i wish that- if i knew that that day would be the last day i'll be seeing you.
i should have said i love you twice.
-//-
WHY DIDNT ANYBODY TELL ME THAT ATEEZ ATTEND ISAC ???????? AISNSJSJISS I CRY ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ they all did so well!! im beyond proud whoop whoop