Salut my pretty lads. Hope you're doing alright and fine. Comment and vote S'il vous plaît❤️
To you: Stop trying to make people happy. If you didn't do what makes you happy now, you'll never do it. You can win people over, but you can't win yourself or your happiness over.
(p.s : if you guys are following me on any of my social media you probably have seen that I said I'm taking a break. But I'm going to continue uploading Chapters from my laptop because writing/editing makes everything better for me and because the book is near to its end)
⚠️Read with conscious⚠️
Kindly read A/N at the end of the chapter.
I'm sorry too many warnings, now enjoy.
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Rye's POV* (say hi? Come on he deserves love).
Another shifting around the bed, ugh I can't fall asleep. I sighed and got up from my bed I'll make my self a nice cup of tea. But before I could do that There is something bugging me, Didn't Fovvlar say he would be here after his shower? It has been nearly 2 hours and he is not here, and Fovvlar wasn't the kind of person to take long showers. I really want to talk about what we did. Everything I share with Andy is great and amazing but it's not like him to ask me for sex, if anything that would be me. I'm really concerned.
After I turn on the kettle I decided to put my grey joggers on, I will go see what is wrong up until the water boil, maybe he just slept not having the power to come back, then I'll sleep with him in his bed instead if that was the case.
Weird, his room is pretty empty, and clean. It's not weird that it is clean, Andy is a clean freak. I ran down the stairs and I see my silly brother on the phone with someone all smiley and giggly. The room was dark except for the telly.
"No, I can't right now people are sleeping what the hell" he smiled biting down his lips "Alright, your flat?". What is wrong with him? I honestly enjoy this so I leaned against the doorway, I could feel my self smiling a half sided smile is it considered a smirk? Smirks have to be cocky and cheeky, oh I guess I am smirking then.
I cleared my throat "going anywhere, Rob?" I asked. He looked at me and when I tell you the look on his face was priceless, he even dropped his phone out of shock. "What- what are you doing here?" He asks me, clearly trying to get away from the awkward mood, but I was not going to let it off easily.
"Oh, your flat?" I mimicked his tune and silly smile. A cushion was thrown at me...How rude!.
"Hey!" I threw the cushion back but 10 times harder. He throws it back at me but I caught it "Haha!" I poked fun at the way he had thrown it.
"What do you want Ryan" he huffed.
I scratched my bare stomach yawning a little okay, not a little a lot "Have you seen Fovvlar?".
"You mean the guy you have a huge arse crush on but won't tell? Who is also having a thing with your best mate under your nose whilst you watch silently like a pussy!" was he serious? Is he joking me?
"Rob, don't be ridiculous. Tell me have you seen him or not" I gritted between my teeth. The last thing I wanna do right now is talking to this silly who doesn't understand a thing. All I wanna do is cuddle with Andy. I've missed him.
"Rye, baby bro. Please admit your feelings to him. I don't even ship Fluff!" he whined. I rolled my eyes "Are you joking me? Did you see him or not" I shouted.
"Jesus. Yeah, he came thirty minutes ago said he loves me and he wants to take a shower" Robbie shrugged. Andy takes a maximum of 14/16 minutes showers so what if he is throwing up like yesterday?
"Rob, I gotta go check on him. Be warned yeah?" I said before running to the stairs. The wind is hitting my naked torso. I reached the bathroom and took a long breath before knocking on the bathroom door "Fovvlar? You okay?".
No answer. What is this now? I put my head on the door listening to what is going on. There is water running which is good, but why isn't he answering me? "Fovvlar? You mad at me?" I whispered against the door. Was I bad at sex? Is he mad because I let it happen? But he asked me to! I asked him if he was sure, and made sure he isn't uncomfortable. Is he mad because he cheated on Jack? Are they even together together?
I waited a few seconds "Alright I'll go now" i faked my walks away. Just so he could feel more secure and safe. Two minutes had passed by and still no sound what so ever, the water never stopping.
I could feel the blood draining out of my limbs , and them going cold at the possibilities of what is happening. "Okay, Andy. This isn't funny alright? Please answer me and then I'll go away i promise. Just let me know you are alright,baby" I said helplessly, my voice breaking.
Another minute has passed me, and I'm standing there chewing on my already dry lips. I can't stand like that anymore. I ran downstairs to Rob who is on his phone again. "Rob? Where is the bathroom spare?" i panted from running so fast.
He has been laughing but stopped when he heard my question "Why?".
"Rob, just give it to me God damn it!" I snapped. The suggestions of the bad things that could have happened to Andy never dying in my head.
"Sonny's room, in the second drawer in a small Christmas box with a little Santa on it-" I cut him by running, I can't afford listening to him describing a box, whilst the most important person in my life could be in danger.
I barged in the room not caring about the sleeping couple, well they aren't anymore. "What the hell Rye!" Sonny yelled at me.
"Shut up a sec let me think," i said whilst opening each drawer, found the box. But i can't get it open with my shaky hands. I tried but it shakes with me "God damn me" i cried out.
"What is it!" Brook's rough voice echoed through the room.
I was so focused on opening the box but it didn't open so I slammed it against the harsh floor making both Sonny and Brook yell at me. But the box finally opened and i reached for the bathroom key.
I ran my way to the bathroom again, I heard a swash underneath me when I stepped in front of the bathroom door, i looked down and i immediately said "Oh no no no, that is not good" I shouted "Guys i need you here i can't get this fucking thing to open".
No one came, perhaps because I'm always loud and shouting they were not alarmed. I can't put the key because he had turned the key to the side. Damn you, Andy! What is happening in there.
I found my self kicking the door and repeating "Lord I pray Your emotional, physical and spiritual protection over my boyfriend". People might see me as cheesy or stupid for doing that. But since I was a kid if I got worried about something or someone I pray and God listens to me, I need him now the most. I don't know what the stupid blondie had done but I hope he had fallen asleep and forgot the water running or something.
I kicked the door last kick hearing a "Rye stop fucking around" From Brooklyn. The lock has fallen down but I'm rather scared to go in and see what is wrong. I looked down mumbling "Please don't be what I'm thinking, please be alright Fovvlar. I can't imagine a world with you gone. Please lord, make him vomiting and not anything else" I felt my eyes burn with the quite familiar sensation. I took a few breaths exhaling when I pushed the door breaking through the wet bathroom.
There he was my pretty Angel. My angel is laying on the floor, his face is turning ashy. My eyes refusing to look at the blood lake beside my angel. It's not happening. It is just not.
This bathroom we played in, fought constantly because I dropped Andy's toothbrush in the rubbish. Now my Angel is laying down on the same spot where we had our endless fights, always ending up with us both covered in toothpaste and making out.
The water was nothing but a distraction, he isn't in the bath even. He was laying somewhere else.
When reality hit me and I took notice of Andy's wrists, they were as rich as his lips's colour. I ran to him tugging him in my arms, I need to feel his heartbeat. I put my two fingers on his neck forcing them slightly, there is a heartbeat. I feel my self screaming "please don't leave me" but that's is the thing, Andy, can you hear my outcalls?
I put my hand on his cheek slapping him gently "Fovvlar, listen to me. you are not leaving, alright?" I hadn't speculated I was crying up until a sob had suspended me from talking "I need you, please no. Fight back for me just a little bit longer".
"Someone please, I need help here guys" I shouted, taking Andy's trembling hand in mine. "I won't let you leave this body, you hear me?" I talked to him, hoping to God he would hear me and knows that I'm here.
"What is wrong with you it's 1 in the freaking morning" Jack came in rubbing his eyes clearly he had just woke up. "Jack" I cried, everything is hard to understand, my heart skipping a beat at the idea that Andy might be gone.
"Oh my god" he covered his mouth screaming. "Jack please go turn on the car" I pleaded.
He nodded his head clearly, not wrapping his head around everything. I looked down at my Angel "Baby? Please be a little more stronger, I can't cope without you" I kissed his forehead and lifted him in between my arms, awareness hitting me that I have to cover his wrists to stop the bleeding.
"Robbie" I shouted. "Robbie it is important" I need to get his attention but I can't leave Andy, I need to be here next to him, in case anything bad happens God forbid.
Sonny came in "Rye, honestly shut the-" he stopped himself midway through, probably understanding the whole thing. "I need two large towels, fast Sonny go" I said, my tears now hitting Andy in the face. He flinched slightly "Good, that's good Fovvlar. Baby I need you to stay with me yeah?" I sniffled. His body is starting to quiver, and I let out a gasp realizing what it might be. I ran towards Sonny's room, Andy is in between my arms, his blood dripping everywhere.
"Oh my God oh my God he is going to die," Brook said, panicking.
"Don't say that!" I snapped, I could feel the fear rush through my cold limbs. My heart never stop thumping.
Sonny handed me the towels "I can not do it, need you And Brook to wrap both of his wrists really secure guys, his life is relying on you" I know it sounds dramatic but it's true either they stop the blood or he would go away because of how much blood he has lost.
Sonny and Brook started to wrap Andy's incredibly white wrists, is it supposed to be this white almost grey?. I saw Andy frown in pain and I kissed in between his brows "Baby? You are doing so well. Just hold on a little longer. Please don't leave me. I need you to fight, I will lose my shit if you stopped fighting Andy" I cried out, my tears falling on Andy's face.
"sweet baby Jesus" Carol gasped. I ran down the stairs when Sonny and Brook had finished, not wanting to waste Any minute now. I ran pass Robbie who kept cursing and gasping. I got in the car with Jack. I took Andy in between my arms again we sat in the backseat.
Jack started to drive instantly, he was crying too. Andy kept shaking in my arms "Jesus, no baby no" I cried looking up "Please let him go, he is all I have" I don't know who am I talking to but hopefully someone listens to me.
Jack kept looking at us, or moreover at Andy and muttering "Shit shit shit". I looked down at Andy through my blurry tears, is that blood coming out of his mouth? And why is he trembling like that? Why is his hand tensing around my grip? His whole body is tense as if he was having a spasm. "Jack? Is it normal?" I hiccuped from crying that much.
"Don't think so Rye," he told me, pressing hard at the Horn "Move you dick, " he cursed.
I tried to wipe the blood off of Andy but it was too much and each time I did so it would come back "Andy, don't leave me, please. I beg you. Don't leave me oh my God no I don't want this" I begged, my tears getting the best of me.
"You can do this Andy, I believe in you" Jack whispered, getting past a lot of cars.
"Fovvlar, can you hear me? Don't leave your baby alone. Didn't you say I was your baby no matter how long I am ?" I broke into a smile through my salty tears, "Then don't leave, your baby needs you" I could feel my lips quivering as I cried out loud. I couldn't hold it in anymore. That's why I didn't want to get attached to someone cause they leave me, and i have to fall out of love just like I had fallen in with them. I don't care about anything other than not losing him right now, death scares me and Andy used to tease me about it, saying he wants me to write him a song if he leaves before me.
I rest my forehead against his "Angel? Are you sleeping? I'll sing you a song like you asked me four months ago, just don't leave" I took a breath "I took you for granted, let me fix this please".
"I need help please" I heard Jack screams, I didn't comprehend that we have arrived at the hospital. I took Andy and went out of the car. Receiving few stares and gasps as I ran to the medics. They took Andy from my hands and they laid him on the clean white bed, which got dirty as soon as Andy was placed on it; by his blood. I followed them because Andy was never letting go of my hand, my mind smiled but I couldn't bring my self to do so, too nervous to react. A red-haired nurse asked me if Andy has any conditions which I simply said "asthma". Then he said if he has any allergies and I simply said "no".
"He has Asthma guys" he informed the rest of the running team. "Alright, guys we need the theater, and prep FLOVENT HFA. Along with the anaesthetic and the Oxygen of course" A tanned girl said, certainly out of her breath.
"The theater? Is he going to have surgery?" I asked panicked slightly. Why is he needing a surgery?
"Of course he needs it sir, look how deep it is" the red haired man said again, referring to My angel's wounded wrists. I noded, not in the power to put a conversation. We were running for five minutes and I didn't dare once to look at Andy, was too scared to do so.
We reached the big navy door with the sign 'Operating theater' beside it. I wanted to go in, I wasn't going to leave Andy in there alone. But the same man stopped me "Sir? I need you to let go of his hand and wait here".
I showed him that I can't and Andy was the one who held me tightly. "oh okay" he hit the side of Andy's hand making it let go. "Hey! You are hurting him" I protested.
"Please wait and he'll be there with you shortly after" He smiled assuring me. "Is he really?" my face lit up.
The medics went inside the room leaving me with this nurse who said, "Of course, now tell me were you the one who found him?" He asked. I just nodded, my hiccups not letting me answer. He wrote down what I said "And was there a lot of blood?". I nodded again covering my mouth afraid I would let out a sob.
"Alright sir, I need you to calm down a little. I'm Stanley alright? I just want simple details so we can cure that man alright?" He said, and I looked up at him nodding again. I rubbed my tears away sniffling as I did so, "Alright, what do you need to know".
He broke into a smile "Good. I need to know his name and blood type, his age, for now". I didn't question the 'for now' thing I barely held my tears in as I said "His name is Andrew Robert Fowler. His blood type is A positive. He is 25 years old." I finished.
"Okay, what are you to him?" he said whilst writing something on his wooden board. I looked down biting my trembling lip "His boyfriend". He looked at me then continued writing away.
"you told me he has Asthma, but no allergies right?" he repeated my own Answers and I nodded.
"Alright, Mr?" he looked at me expectantly and I said "Beaumont". "Alright, Mr. Beaumont. We will take a good care of your Boyfriend, need you to go with that nurse over there so she could check on you and then we will have the psychologist of the hospital talk to you about what had happened, so he can talk to Andrew when we finish with him".
I am fine, I don't need no one to check on me, and what is he talking about? My Angel is in there and I don't know what is happening to him, and he wants me to talk to someone? "I am alright" Is all I say to him.
Stanley or what his name cleared his throat "Sir, with all due respect to you. You came here without shoes or a shirt you clearly need someone to check on your blood pressure after what you saw".
I looked down at my self, I had forgotten about my bare chest, and feet. I looked at my chest which was covered with Andy's blood. A beeping noise had come from the room and I looked at the door tearing "What what is happening".
Stanley had left me and went inside the room. I couldn't bear the pain anymore so I sat at the floor next to that navy blue door and started crying. Why you got to do something like that to me Andy? Why you got to leave me like that?
Carol came to me running with Robbie right behind her "What is happening to him? Is he alright?" she asked. I couldn't respond because I was busy sorting out my sobs and hiccups. She shouted "Talk to me Rye".
"I don't know what is happening, I'm so scared. Oh my god," I grizzled.
Robbie hugged me, handing me a jumper. He clearly was in a rush he got me one of Andy's jumpers. I wore it and his fragrance hit me, I have no control over my tears at this point.
Jack who was standing there the whole time came to me and yanked me from my Jumper. I looked at him confused. He hit me in the middle of my face, it was too fast I don't know if it is a slap or a punch, but he did it, again and again, screaming "It is your fault, I swear to my fucking God if anything happens to him I will make sure you be next Ryan, I swear to god". I didn't stop him, because deep down I blamed me too, for being a pussy and a heartless Coward. He kept hitting me until I felt dizzy all of the sudden and there was a fluid running down my face. It wasn't my tears because it was heavy, unlike my tears.
Carol had pulled Jack away, glaring at him "my boy is in there" she pointed at the navy blue door, her chin is trembling "And you are fighting and saying Rye is the reason he did this. How dare you! Just like that boy in there is my son, Rye is my son too".
I cried harder, I don't deserve her defence, I am worth nothing. Rob pulled me to that nurse so she can cure me or whatever. She looked at me and said "Jesus." I knew that I was a mess but not like that.
She put a sanitizer on a cotton ball and cleaned around my nose and lips. I hissed in pain at her touch. It burns, but not like the way my heart is burning right now.
"Sir, are you feeling cold or dizzy?" she asked. I shook my head lying. I don't want to be in here any longer I need to be next to Andy.
"He needs blood, Is your blood matching? Cause his mum is AB positive. And the other two aren't matching as well, one of them has Anemia." Stanley came in the room. Robbie has a B negative, so was Jack the one with Anemia?
"I am O positive, " I said. Stanley looked at me through his glasses, "Okay, perfect. Sister please, take blood from him, make sure his blood matches.".
The girl who was curing me looked at me "Do you have any Anemia or blood conditions?".
I extended my lower lip "I don't think so, but my blood pressure sometimes gets high", I informed my nose always bleed because of that.
She smiled at me "That is fine, although you need to get it checked. I'll take your blood, is it okay?".
"Of course, " I said, my heart screaming Anything for him.
She attached the needle to the small container, wrapping my forearm in a tight blue and green elastic making my veins pop up. She swept my arm with a wet cotton pad, which I assume have alcohol in it due to the strong scent. She slammed her pointer finger on the area.
"i need you to pull your hand into a fist for me real quick" she asked, and I did as told.
I was too focused on what is she doing because I have a great fear of needles. But I care about Andy way more than I care about my fear. "So? The boy. Is he your brother?" she asked casually like we had been friends for 15 years or something.
"No, he is my boyfriend," I said, memories of Andy popping up in my head. I smiled.
"Oh?" she said.
"yeah, we've been together for three years now," I said "I don't know why he has done it. I mean I kinda know, but I am not sure if it's the reason I think I know, you know?" I took a breath "I just wanna take him home. I don't wanna lose him. I want to go back to fighting and denying our feelings instead of being here, afraid I would lose him" a tear came to my face. I couldn't stop the next tears that came in line.
"We are done" she announced.
"What?" I said sniffling.
"I have finished taking your blood, now I have put an IV for you which will finish after 15 minutes, and I'll give you a juice you better drink it because your boyfriend needs your support,yeah?" she said. And I've realised that she distracted me she made me talk about Andy, and she began taking my blood.
"Is he going to make it?" I asked. Terrified, if he was going to be alright, why would they need a blood draw? Why would they be there for this long? I don't understand.
She was putting a plaster on my nose and the sides of my lips "Do you believe in him?" she asked.
I nodded my tears falling uncontrolled, I can't control anything right now. I'm so tired of hiding my emotions and pretending to be a strong person who doesn't give a fuck about anything, when in reality I give a lot of fucks. "I believe in him so much. He is my role model, he makes me stronger just by his laugh".
"Aw, bless you." she smiled at me "if you believe in him, then you know he will make it".
She gave me an orange juice making me cringe, I don't like Orange. I smiled when I remembered what Andy used to do whenever I annoyed him, he used to put a Orange flavoured chapstick and kiss me. I sat there thinking about him.
Andy, my pretty Angel. They took you away, but you are going to come back to me yeah? I still need you. I swear to love you my whole life. I don't want to let you go, cause you're my strength. Yeah I know I've never told you that in person, but you make me strong. I need your voice, touch... I need you as a whole.
I felt a press against my shoulder blade, I looked up to see Jack. I looked at him, his features unreadable. I don't know how to react I said the only thing that came to my mind "Is he gone?". Fear overcoming me.
He broke into a smile between his tears "No, he is okay, they will take him to the recovery room right now".
I looked at Jack, feeling my mouth hang open, a tear rolling on my face "Oh my lord. Thank you. Jack, I could kiss you right now" I said laughing.
The nurse giggled at us. I hugged him, forgetting about the whole beating me up thing. He pulled me closer playing with my hair. I let go, letting the nurse put the last plaster on my wounded areas. I ran out of the room as fast as the nurse has finished taking the IV needle out of my hand.
"Can I see him?" I asked Carol.
She cupped my face "Oh bubba, he needs to rest, we will come back in the morning, yeah?" she placed a kiss on my forehead, making me close my eyes.
I nodded. If that means you will be alright my Angel, then I'll wait. I will wait a lifetime for you, if that means you will come back to me. I can't wait to take you home. I did something silly before walking out of the hospital, I kissed my hand and laid it on the hospital's gate whispering "be alright, Fovvlar".
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It was getting so long, pt2?.
How do you feel about it?
A/n:
As many of you already know, Jack has left Roadtrip. I fully support him and I'll still include him on this book and possibly on my new one. If you have a problem with that, I am so sorry to hear that, but I won't change it. Obviously the topic is fresh and new, but I am supporting Jackie boy no matter what. I will miss you dearly Jack, thank you. ❤️