I'm just going to say that I hope you enjoy this chapter.
The Tardis lands, "Well then" The Doctor looks at her console screen, she scorched her face "Aweee not again old girl,'' she sighs.
"So not the forbidden planet then?" J asks one eyebrow raised.
"Unfortunately not" The Doctor looks to J.
"Where are we this time then?" Graham wonders
"We are" The Doctor looks back to the console screen "Oh, we are in a room" she turns back around "not any old room well I'm not sure who owns this house well room but we are in your hometown J, where you were when you were a child" she smiles because she remembers coming back here with River now and then to check up on their daughter.
"What?" J says a look of pain in her eyes, The Doctor looks at her a tad confused.
"So we are in a random bedroom?" Asks Ryan and as that suddenly the Tardis doors opened.
In came a young little girl, light blonde hair in pigtails, her tots show her hair is going a way of dirty blonde than the bright that shows below. She has her glasses hanging nearly off her nose, and grey joggers on, and a hoodie that is slightly oversized on her, she looks about eight years old, her footwear are some old worn down white trainers.
"Hi?" She says a bit confused memorised by the interior in the Tardis, "Why is it like an upside down spider without the body and just it's legs?" She questions.
The Doctor is a little speechless, she does not recognise this house but the girl in front of her is indeed her daughter.
"Am I dreaming?" She wonders "The box it looked familiar but the inside is different from my dreams" she says.
"You're dreams?" Ryan asks her
"Yeah sometimes I dream of this box, well a box like this but not this? I always ask her if she will take me away" she tears up "but she doesn't come outside my dreams I thought" she rubs her eyes "i want it to be time I was taken away from here" she hiccups as she gets rather upset. "But if it's just a dream that means tomorrow I still have to go to court, I am scared" she cries.
"Court?" The Doctor asks
J gets a very horrible feeling inside seeing herself like this, knowing why she's upset but seeing it in like third view was just as bad as when she lived in this part of her life.
"Yea, I~ I have to help put the bad man away" little J says trembling, she does not know why she is telling these 'strangers' this but she guesses if it's a dream, then she definitely can right? She sits on the floor her legs crossed and she looks up to The Doctor.
"I~ I love you~" she hiccups again, "Sorry, I love your coat" she sniffs back and makes herself stronger, she wipes her tears no time to cry in her dreams she tells herself.
"Thank you, sweetie" The Doctor leans down to her level.
"I've got to go, I should" Their J says as she turns and walks away she heads straight to her room, holding in her own tears from falling her eyes nip. She doesn't feel it right or rather that she should be here.
The Doctor signs and looks at her as she leaves.
"So who is she Doc?" Graham finally asks what's on his mind, Yaz by the way J, reacted guessed it too be her.
The Doctor looks over to Graham and back to J, but J is the one who spoke.
"Jamielee" she says sweetly.
"She's J?" Ryan says
The Doctor just looks at him and smiles,
"Oh, should we go too?" Ryan then asks.
"Why do you all leave?" J wonders, "Everyone just leaves don't they? Even in dreams?" She looks to the Doctor.
"Oh, no one is leaving don't worry" The Doctor sits down in from of J the gang come over and sit as well.
"So, Jamielee" The Doctor says
"I liked that name you said what was it?" J ignores the Doctor and looks at Ryan.
"J?" He says smiling at her.
"Aye yes, I like it call me that?" She says "It is my dream so you have to right?" She smiles widely
"We can do that for you" Yaz says smiling and adoring how adorable J is.
"It's warm in here" J says fiddling with her jumper sleeve.
"Why don't you take your jumper off then?" Graham says as she has a think hoodie on.
J looks to the floor "No, can't do that."
"Why not?" Says The Doctor
"Incase they are still there in dreamland" J says a bit sadly.
"What is still there and dreamland?" The Doctor questions.
"Dreamland" J says ignoring the first question "Is what I call all my dreams" she grins widely "where I go on adventures and jump through my locked dreams my worlds my favourite place to be is in my dreams" she says proudly.
"And why's that?" The Doctor asks smiling
"It's the only place I'm truly safe" she says this time not as happy.
"Is that so?" The Doctor is confused but can see her daughter really genuinely believes this.
She shakes her head yes.
"So what's tomorrow then?" The Doctor wonders.
"Oh, I don't want to talk about that please? Not here" she jumps up, "What are these?" She runs to the console and is poking about with the biscuit dispenser.
"Ahh you see that's my very special biscuit dispenser" The Doctor got up and went over to J and presses the button and out came a Custard cream. She is showing more of her Eleventh regeneration here.
"Oooh" J says eyes wide "that is super cool" as the gang got up she asks "Can I have one?" The Doctor shakes her head yes and smiles.
"Fanks" J says shoving the biscuit in her mouth, "funny this" she says laughing as she finishes her biscuit Super fast.
"What is?" Ryan wonders.
"There is a custard cream dispenser in my dream, it should be Jammiedodgers" she says with a lisp
The Doctor goes over to the other dispenser, "You mean like this" she grins widely
"YES" J gets super happy and jumps round "may I?" She says she doesn't really wait for an answer she takes a bite out of the biscuit, without chewing it fully she says "my favourite" she slightly slurs as biscuit crumbs fly out her mouth.
The Doctor and the Gang chuckle.
J lifts her hands up and her hoodie sleeve rolls up, Yaz is looking at her arm, she can see a slight bruise just barely hidden. "What's that?" She asks the young girl.
J quickly rolls her sleeve down and shakes her hand "what?" She plays off she knows nothing she gulps.
"The bruise hun" Yaz says more sympathy in her voice than anything she feels she knows what's happening by her words 'bad man' and then 'court' now the bruise.
"I'm a police officer" she says seeing if that would help J, it did something she goes up to her she looks up to Yaz.
"Really?" She wonders "like a real one?"
"Yes" she smiles.
"This is a weird dream" she says
"Why don't you tell me or show me what happen?" Yaz ignores everyone else in the console room.
J rolls up her sleeve "He hurt me again, but it's okay" she says smiling
"Who hurt you?" The Doctor is in mixed emotions angry and sad, confused and hurt.
"It's okay, Miss seen and now he's going to jail" J says "They will see it tomorrow as it still here this was last week or so"
"Who's they?" Asks Ryan
"The court people" J says.
"Who did that?" The Doctor slightly shows too much anger making J hide behind Yaz "is she going to hurt me?" She says scared.
"Oh no, no I would never" The Doctor changes her tone. But then Older J comes back.
"Here, don't worry she won't harm you,'' she goes over to herself signs and kneels down to her level,
"She saves everyone from bad, bad aliens and people who want to hurt others, she's just a little angry at who has hurt you but you don't need to worry about anything, she cares for you and for every living being" she tells herself "Trust me I know"
Younger J looks at herself, she spots the skin tag "Hey, I have one off" she looks at it.
"It is the same" J tells her younger she gets a confused look.
"Huh?" Says Younger J.
"Let me tell you, he goes away, he won't harm us again but I can't tell you, you won't be hurt again but trust me we get through it all because I'm standing right here right now even after everything,'' Her tears threaten to fall.
"You are me?" Younger J clicks on now, "Will Daddy come back for us?" She says "Will he stops his drinking" she wants to know.
"I can't tell you anything, but I can tell you one thing one day you will find the truth, and that truth brings you the most wonderful and amazing people into your life. And even at that you learn that your Dad does love you, that you will go on massive adventures together and have the best time of your life" this time she Means The Doctor, not who little J thinks is her Dad but she can't tell herself anything more or less.
"I guess we have to tell ourselves that" Little J says "We are in our own dream" she smiles "I don't think Dad will ever want me" she sighs, "I don't understand why, but oh well", she says tears now roll down both their faces.
"Hey, don't worry, trust me, dream or no dream." She tells herself.
Little J hugs herself this fills J with something she never knew she would ever feel? She told herself it is all going to be okay, she realises now it was always going to be like this but she is strong they are, and they will only continue to get stronger.
"You should go back to bed now," she tells herself
"But oh what? The biscuits?" She says with puppy dog eyes.
"Trust me plenty more in the future," she laughs.
"Oh okay then, thank you. Bye everyone" she says as she leaves.
"Don't worry I made sure I will see this as a dream till now well for this version of me, this is complicated," she laughs.
The Doctor comes over to J, she embraces her into a hug. "I'm sorry we left you, it seems it was not that safe" she realises her daughter has gone through too much, she doesn't know what but she can see, and it hurts her heart's more than anything.
"It was not your fault and" she sighs "He didn't just hurt me it was all of us well except the youngest as that was his kid, he didn't like we were not his kids?" She questions she was never sure why he abused them, she and her siblings were victims of child abuse.
"Well I presume I'm not too sure myself but I was at school one day and went too PE and the teacher she saved us from seeing those bruises on me. Mum was really upset as well and I don't think she knew how to really handle that herself after what Dad did to her, he used to hit her. Because of his drinking but he never cared for us maybe because he knew I was not his? As well he did care a little just he didn't love me" she says unsure of her words she thinks, what if he did love her? But just didn't know how to love any of his kids due to the alcohol? She thinks to herself or rather says out loud.
"Who am I kidding? He didn't love any of us his child or not, he only loved himself or rather the alcohol" she says sadly.
Ryan comes over to her, he puts his hand on her shoulder knowing what it's like with no Dad around, "Don't worry, I understand but you have The Doctor now" he says.
"And us" Yaz says.
"And us" Ryan smiles.
"That's true, and my family well my family back there well not there I mean" she shook her head, "You know what I mean." She chuckles
"Can I ask?" The Doctor says wondering if she will let her in?
"What did you mean? When you told yourself you can't say you won't be hurt again? What happened?" She just wants to understand more about her daughter.
"In due time, just not the now please" J says, The Doctor understands.
"Okay Fam, who's up for ice cream" The Doctor claps her hands together and grins knowing this will cheer J up, well she hopes.
"Definitely me" J says smiling, holding back her pain.
"Me too" Yaz says followed by Ryan and Graham, and off they were heading too J's favourite ice cream place.