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Flashback
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I was reading a book that my uncle recommended me. Demian, of Herman Hesse. An old book, but very interesting, I often feel like the protagonist.
But my reading is interrupted by the presence of someone at the door. There was no one at home, so I had to get up to see who it was.
I get up from the couch, ㅡ even though with a little effort, ㅡ and open the door, my body stiffens, my breath stops.
《Yoongi ...》
《Hi Chaerin.》
Yoongi managed to find me. I didn't know how, or rather, I know how, probably by using his ways and the people he has available to do what he wants. Like he always did.
His surprised expression is fixed on my belly, of course. I let him in the house. We are sitting on the couch and drinking water that I offered him.
I would have liked to put poison in it, but I refrain from making some shit decisions, for once. These crazy hormones make me have strange thoughts.
This whole scene is so surreal, me, pregnant, Yoongi, the person I hate most in the world, sitting on the couch that doesn't know where to look or what to say. If it were not that his presence irritates me, I would laugh. He's so insecure, vulnerable, I've never seen him like this.
I would seem psychopathic if I started laughing. But let me say it, too many things are happening in my life right now to not look a little crazy.
《I'm sorry for your mom, I know how much you cared about her.》
I don't answer, I nod tightening my lips forming a line.
《How are you?》 Rests the glass, drank water almost all in one gulp.
I pour him some more. I prayed internally that somehow Yoongi drowns himself with this water.
《Good? I think.》
《How did it happen?》he asks, pointing at my belly, scratching his neck in embarrassment afterwards.
I raise an eyebrow《you know how these things work, you don't need me to explain it to you, right?》
《No-I didn't mean, that is, I wanted-》takes a deep breath《whatever.》he closes his eyes and shuts up.
《That's the reason you kind of run away?》
I nod. Silence falls on us. Yoongi took a few sips from time to time.
《Why are you here?》I hiss, crossing my arms.
He clears his throat.
《I want to make it up to you.》
《No, Yoongi. I don't care and I don't want to.》
《Give me a chance.》he approaches me.
《No.》 I say again, more firmly. I get up from the couch, with my hand on my baby, 《go out, please.》
Yoongi looks towards the door, where my finger is pointing. His face low. That day he left, saying nothing. And I thought it was solved, but oh, how wrong was I.
After that day he returned in the following days, I ignored every time he came home, pushed him away, closed the door in his face. My aunt, my mother's sister, wanted to report him, but I didn't want to magnify the situation at that point.
So, in the end, I had to face him again. And I didn't know how or what to say. My head was completely messed up. But now he was here in front of me, asking to give him another chance, starting with a dinner with him.
Without thinking too clearly, I accept. I don't even know why, maybe because I thought he would leave me after I went to dinner with him.
I put on an elegant dress, one of the few that fit me. It shows my belly. I can't help it, but I caress it all the time.
Yoongi arrives home and we get in the car immediately, it's very cold.
We arrive at the restaurant that I recommended; moves the chair for me, and then does the same for himself, the table has a candle in the centre.
《Order what you want, you eat for two now.》 He smiles at me as he hands me the menu.
I take it literally.
I order various dishes, the waitress finds it difficult to keep up with what I'm ordering. As soon as I finish, I settle on the chair, happy and satisfied. Yoongi giggles staring at me.
《What? I'm always hungry.》I say in a low voice, slightly embarrassed.
Yoongi raises his hands in surrender, even though he said nothing, still laughing. We start talking a little, on my surprise. I didn't expect much from this evening honestly.
《Is it a boy or a girl?》
His question warms my heart, shows me that he's interested, and I can't help but be happy. I caress my belly, smiling at my little creature.
《It's a boy.》
I discovered the baby's sex with Soyon who had accompanied me since my uncles had to work.
《He will be strong and determined like you.》
《Thank you, Yoongi.》
I sincerely smile at him, the first time in a long time. The things we ordered come, most of the food was mine, and we start eating, we exchange a few words from time to time.
《You already know how to call him?》
《I was thinking ... Taemin.》I smile.
《The name sounds familiar.》 He says, frowning. I chuckle nervously, drinking my water, looking away.
We continue to chat throughout the evening, he asked questions he was curious about but without exaggerating. It was, strangely, a beautiful evening.
We continued to see each other, he visited me often, he kept me company on visits, often the doctors confused him for Taemin's father.
Slowly, I saw his change and his genuine gestures. It's been a while and our relationship has changed, for the better.
Yoongi took me to dinner again, same place as last time. We're talking, until he asks me something.
《What about the father?》 He asks all of a sudden, catching me off guard.
I shrug, biting my lip. He had never asked me, but I knew he would ask me sooner or later. 《I don't know.》
I had sex with both Taehyung and Jimin, and in both cases, I forgot to take the contraceptive pill quite a few times. It was a stupid error of mine, which led me to know about the pregnancy immediately after the death of my mother and the father of Taehyung. But I'm happy to have Taemin.
《It's not one of those three guys, right?》
《What do you mean?》
His question seemed out of place and disrespectful. His silence at my question was making me even more nervous. Stupid hormones.
《Even if it was one of them, what's the problem?》 I'm starting to be defensive.
《That would mean that you fucked at least two of them.》
《So what?》 I raise the tone of my voice, a couple of people turn in our direction.
I don't understand where he wants to go. I hold the cutlery tight with my hands, I felt that I would explode if he had said something else wrong.
《Tell me that at least one of them is not Jimin.》 He says laughing as if it were a joke to him.
I stare at him incredulously at the things he is saying. Hormones or not, but I can't stand this anymore. I angrily hit the cutlery on the table. I get up and take my things, walking quickly outside.
《Chaerin, wait- it wasn't what I meant!》 I hear him yell behind me, his voice became less and less audible as I walked away.
I go out of the restaurant, my eyes clouded with tears, I go down a street and run casually and pedestrian crossing.
《Chaerin watch out!》 Yoongi's voice screams behind me.
My face turns to the side and the last things I see are two white lights that catch me in a trap, inevitably, as if I were a fawn on the highway.
It's my end.
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I honestly couldn't wait to publish this chapter. It hurts my heart tho.
I hope you all understood why I named the baby Taemin.
If you do understand, I'll give you some homemade tiramisu.
As always, thanks for reading and vote for the chapter!💜
Luv u xoxo,
ㅡHeartphilia.