It's been a long spring.
There's no other way to describe how difficult the past few months have been. I knew Ashton leaving would be tough, I just didn't realize how... antsy it would make me.
"Good morning." Ella chirps, opening her locker as Sage takes her bag.
I don't respond, too focused on the picture hanging in my locker.
"Staring at that won't make him magically appear." Stella says from behind me.
My eyes take in the picture of Ashton flashing my favorite smirk to me out of the shot for a second more, it makes me smile every time I see it. "I know."
They offer me a pitying look as I close the door and I pretend to not notice. I can't afford to feel sorry for myself.
Avery joins us, offering me a long look before we both burst out with laughter.
"I swear you two are twins sometimes." Gabe mutters, taking in Averys ripped jeans and my chetah print skirt with identical Rolling Stones shirts.
"It's uncanny." Ella sips her herbal tea.
"Where did you get that shirt?" I ask my cousin.
"I thrifted it, what about you?"
"It's Ashton's, I stole it." I say, adjusting the knot tying the shirt up knowing he's going to complain when he sees it.
He claims it ruins the shirt.
We just shake our heads as the bell rings, half of our group headed to literature while the other half disperses to their classes.
"Morning, Melissa." Gabe calls, taking a seat.
"Morning, kids." She offers, trying a message on her phone at an alarmingly fast rate.
"Wow, what has you upset?" I ask, slightly afraid.
"Your uncle." She replies absentmindedly before thinking better of it. "Never mind that."
"What idiotic thing has he done now?" I push, I could use a laugh.
She hesitates but another glare at her phone has her spilling, "Someone has extended his trip until Saturday when he was supposed to be home this morning."
Oh, Uncle John's an idiot.
He's been working over time to finish up a bunch of work. His goal is to be done with all major over seas projects by New Years so he can go into his marriage with no distractions. It's a great idea, it just means he's never home.
It's taking its toll on all of us.
"This is the fifth week in a row, I feel like I haven't seen him in forever." She grumbles, putting her phone away as other kids enter the classroom.
"Join the club." I mumble as the lecture begins, my eyes wandering to the empty spot next to me.
It feels weird knowing that he used to sit next to me, moving his desk closer even when Melissa told him not to.
Someone shoves my arm, pulling me out of memory lane and into the reality of my phone ringing in the middle of class.
"Can I-"
"Quickly." She nods, pointing to the door.
I sprint to the hall, answering the call before the door can fully shut. "Hey, Charming."
"Workouts ran late, I have class in 5 minuets." He apologizes for missing our morning call. "I was just going to leave a message."
"It's okay, I'm happy I get to hear your voice." It's the highlight of my day.
"Same here."
"What does the great Ashton McClain have planned today?"
"Football, school, football and homework." He jokes, "But I do have a mental note to talk to this girl whenever I get the chance."
"Lucky girl, you have a very busy schedule." I muse.
"The luckiest but I always have the time." He says before swearing, "I've got to go Sweetheart, I love you."
"I love you."
I sit in the hallway as the call ends, knowing I need to get back to class but can't find the strength.
I just need to get through today, tomorrow will be easier.
*****
At lunch, I pick at my salad.
"Well, how is it?" Avery asks, staring intently at my plate.
"I didn't know it was possible to ruin salad, but you did." Sage cuts in, saving me from being the one to break the news.
I grimace, "Aves, if it wasn't for the fact you basically live with me I would bill you for wasting my food."
There's no saving the salad, or the spaghetti she tried making for dinner the other night or the cookies she burned to hockey pucks.
Her face falls as she eats some herself, instantly spitting it into Gabe's napkin. "I'm hopeless."
"Hey, we just need to practice a little more." I assure her, everything takes time.
Some people struggle more than others.
"Enough about tossing the salad." Gabe says, ignoring the glare the girls and I send his way as Zev snickers. "What are the prom plans?"
I sigh, instantly zoning out of the conversation. Prom is the last thing I want to discuss since I'll be going with RJ. I'm thankful he offered to fly in to take me but it's not the same.
It feels wrong to not want to go because I know I'll regret it but it feels pointless. However, having RJ in town is a plus.
I miss my friend, I just miss Ashton more.
"We're getting ready at Scar's." Avery sends me a confirming glance.
"Yeah, I really don't care if the guys get ready in the basement to make it easier." I offer, knowing it would be one less thing to worry about.
"Sweet." James winks at Stella and I feel the sudden urge to remind them of the no fornicating under my roof rule.
"Okay, but what about after?" Zev snaps his fingers urgently.
"The cabin?" Gabe offers and no one disagrees, settling the discussion.
Here's to getting the day over with.
*****
"Letty!" RJ shouts, pulling me into a suffocating hug.
"I missed you," I mumble into his chest, "but I like breathing."
He lets go, ruffling my hair. "Your date is here and ready to tear up the dance floor."
I watch in horror as he does a horrible hip shake in the middle of the airport for all passing eyes to witness. Pulling him outside before he can be detained, I laugh.
This is something I missed.
Putting his bag in the trunk, I offer him the keys before crawling into the passenger seat. I rest my chin on my knees, watching out the window as we speed down the interstate.
I've zoned so far out that I dont realize we've stopped till a milkshake is shoved in my face, interrupting my recollection of the last time I saw Ashton.
"Tell me what's making my little Letty all gloomy." He commands, moving his seat back so he can get comfortable.
Taking in the sonic parking lot, I sigh. "I'm happy you're here, beyond happy."
He nods.
"It's just that..." I struggle to find the words. I don't want to hurt his feelings.
"You wish McClain was your date." He finishes.
"I'm sorry." Hearing the words out loud prove how selfish they are. "I'm so happy you're here; you know how much I love you."
"It's okay." He assures me, "You're allowed to feel that way."
"No."
"Yes." RJ laughs. "He's your boyfriend. You haven't seen him on over a month. If I had to go that long without seeing Rylie I'd go insane."
The guilt subsides as I smirk, "And how is Rylie?"
"Perfect, she's jealous she couldn't come along." He says, knowing that if she did I wouldn't spend any time with him.
"It's not my fault we get along." I tease. "We're destined to be friends."
He scoffs, "That's why Saffron is my favorite."
"Ask Emmy how that ends, eventually she'll stop listening to you."
RJ studies me with a shake of his head, "You gonna be okay, Kid?"
"I think so."
*****
"Hey, Seetheart."
"Morning." I yawn, stretching out across my bed, accidentally punching Avery in the face.
She scowls in her sleep, turning over.
"What's on the agenda for today?"
"I think I have 30 minutes until Manny comes in to do hair and makeup." Meaning I have 30 minutes to create a fake smile good enough to fool her.
"I wish I could see you tonight." He offers and I know how deeply he means it.
"You'll get so many pictures that it'll feel like you're here." I say lightly.
"It won't be the same."
I know. Trust me the fact that today won't be the same is all I can focus on.
"But, I'll get pictures of my girlfriend all done up and that makes up for it." He quips and I roll my eyes.
"I knew you were with me because of my looks."
"They're just a bonus."
Figures.
My door slams open, "Alright, Kids, it's prom time!"
I groan as Manny opens my blinds, Avery yanking the blanket over both our heads.
"It's too early."
"It's 9:00 a.m., I let you sleep in." Manny says, yanking the covers away.
"The drill sergeant has arrived?" Ash asks.
"Bright eyed and bushy tailed." I mutter as she claps.
"Bella made breakfast, let's get it while its hot."
My stomach growls at the thought of the food RJ's mom can make, it fills the soul. I wonder if that's why she offered to feed us, undoubtedly his idea.
"Avery, I will drag you from that bed." She says with enough force that we both jump to our feet.
"Charming, in order to stay safe I'm going to hang up." I mock whisper so she can hear. "I love you."
"I love you, have fun."
I'll try.
*****
"Letty, it's hard to appreciate my master piece if you keep frowning." Manny whines, studying her finished product in the mirror.
I try to smile just for her but it falls, "I look beautiful, thank you."
I really do. My gray-blue dress cuts so far down my chest, connecting with the sheerpanneling around my waist before it flows into the gossamer fabric of the skirt. Jewels designed to look like flowers placed where the fabric connects.
But my face is what's so surprising. Pale blue eyeshadow ties into the clips holding my hair back, a soft pink tint spread across my lips.
Lips that are unable to hold a genuine smile.
"My love, what's wrong?" She questions, making sure the door is closed.
"Nothing, I'm just trying to be excited."
"It's your senior prom, you're supposed to be excited." She scolds me. "My senior prom was the night I realized I liked Drew"
"How?"
"He brought a date and I shoved her into the fountain." She shrugs. "Then my date, who was a wrestler, was ready to kick Drew's ass and I told him to get lost."
I just stare at her, not at all surprised by that story.
"That just makes me miss him more." I admit, we deserve our own cute senior prom story.
"How about this, try to have fun and if it doesn't work out go to Alabama."
"Really?" I ask in disbelief. "But you worked so hard."
"I suppose it doesn't really matter if you're unhappy."
Thoughts swarm around my mind trying to process what this means. Logically I could go, Uncle John is back in town and Manny's hanging out with the kids tonight. I have my own car and it's a Saturday.
"But RJ-"
"RJ will be just fine." She tells me before glancing down at her phone. "It's already 3:00."
"I need to go." I jump to my feet, throwing random clothes into a bag.
I'm really gonna do this.
Running downstairs, I find almost everyone in the kitchen. Sterling recording me in amusement.
"RJ, I'm sorry to abandon you like this but I've got somewhere else I need to be." I explain before turning to Sage. "Please behave tonight."
"Where are you going?" Gabe asks
"Alabama."
"No!" They shout.
"This is our prom." Stella pouts, crossing her arms over her black dress.
"And you're in the running for prom queen." Ella reminds me.
"A queen is pointless without her king." I offer, tossing my bag to Sterling. "Put this in my car, I need to grab my sunglasses from Sage's."
I don't wait for his response as I hurry to the front door.
Throwing it open, I make it two steps before freezing.
An indescribable noise escapes my lips as I take in the black haired boy frozen on my porch, his knuckles raised to knock on the door I came through.
I throw myself on him, "You're here."
"Of course I'm here." He whispers, rubbing my back.
"But... what? How? When?" I try to find the words, too focused on grasping the fact that he's here.
"I didn't know I could come 'till Wednesday." He offers, "Mel put me on the list and Avery was nice enough to find me something to wear. I wanted to surprise you."
"I was supposed to surprise you." I sniffle, moving an arm from around him to dry my tears.
He pulls back, brushing a thumb across my cheek. "I think we can agree surprises are my thing."
A genuine laugh escapes as I lean down to kiss him, all the negativity washing away.
"All right, let's get our prom on!" Gabe shouts, interrupting our moment to clasp Ashton on the shoulder.
"Let me do this first." Ashton requests, taking me off guard as he kisses me.
It's definitely time to get our prom on.
*****
We've been at prom for an hour and a half and I've spent no time with my boyfriend.
The football team all but threw a party the second they saw him walk into the room, the only reason I managed to stay by Ashton's side being the fact he held me there. A sea of teenage boys is dangerous.
Somehow I end up outside of the group, watching him talk to his friends. Thinking it's best to let him talk, I search for Avery who is bickering with Gabe and RJ.
"You're both wrong, the chicken came first." She snaps and I roll my eyes, not even bothering to insert myself in the conversation.
I wander around, trying to not feel like a lost puppy as I find myself at the drink stand. Grabbing a cup of water, I sip on it as I try to find anyone to hang out with.
"Scarlett, I'm so sorry." Ana offers, resting a hand on my shoulder.
"Sorry for what?" I ask, cautiously taking in Ana and Elsa.
In the year since Avery stopped talking to them, they've become a rather persistent thorn in my side.
"That you and Ashton broke up." She says.
"It's all everyone's been able to talk about." Elsa chides.
My jaw cracks as I try to find the words to respond, "We haven't broken up."
"You don't have to lie, the fact you aren't glued to each others side says enough."
"He's talking to his friends." I force. "We've spent months apart, a few hours won't hurt."
They share a sympathizing gaze that doesn't match their smirks.
Glaring at their retreating figures, I sip on my water. My eyes fall on Ashton, laughing at one of his friends.
Despite the hurt brewing inside, I smile at the sight. At least I can see him.
A hand taps my shoulder and I turn to find Uncle John smiling down at me. "Bean, you appear to be in better spirits."
"You wouldn't have had anything to do with that?" I ask.
"It may have been my idea."
"Thank you." I hug him, knowing he already knows how much it means to me.
John observes the room, fixing his tie. "I forgot what prom was like?"
"Were you prom King?"
"No." He snorts, "Your mother and father were prom king and queen. I was the kid spiking the punch and sneaking upstairs."
Why am I not surprised. "And they let you chaperone this thing?"
"No but they let teachers bring plus ones and I know a gal."
"How convenient." I thought my school had high standards.
We study the room, both of us focusing on the same person.
"If I knew the punk would spend the night talking to everyone but you at this stupid dance I wouldn't have bothered paying for his gas." My uncle comments dryly, watching as Ashton tells a story to some of his friends.
"If he's happy then I'm happy." He hasn't seen any of these people since before Christmas break, he deserves to surround himself with familiar faces.
Even if half the room thinks we've broken up, it's doesn't help that half the girls here are eyeing him like a prize.
It's not like I was all but shoved to the side.
John seems inclined to comment but Melissa walks our way. "Our shift has thirty minutes left, make sure you're ready to go."
"Are we really that bad?" I question in disbelief.
"Of course not, dear." She turns to me.
"We just have dinner reservations and a hotel room with our name on it." John adds smugly.
Looks like someone's making up for being absent.
I gag, "Gross."
"You don't complain about that and I won't complain about the fact you have one too." My uncle offers, the words killing him to say.
My skin burns in embarrassment, "Fair enough."
Conversation dies out quickly after that and I wander around. Ella and Sage have taken station by the dessert table, my brother fond of shoving food in her mouth when she least expects it. James and Stella are in the middle of the dance floor, having way too much fun trying to keep up with everyone else.
"Little Letty, I ask for a dance." RJ clears his throat.
My eyes fall on Ashton for a brief second before nodding, I deserve to enjoy tonight. "Lead the way."
Ten songs later, I'm so dizzy from spinning that I hold onto RJ to keep from falling.
"It's time to announce the homecoming king and queen." Ms. Appeltin, the guidance counselor speaks into the microphone as the music dies out.
My eyes try to find Ashton but he's lost in the crowd.
"There's been a tie for queen," she starts, "so we've decided to give it to both lucky ladies."
Everyone waits but I'm dying for it to be over as gray eyes meet mine from across the room.
"Your 2019 prom kind and queens are Gabe Kline, Avery Adams and Scarlett Rhodes."
A thin hand pulls me to the stage, Gabe shoving between us to throw his arms around our shoulders. "Are we really surprised?"
The guidance counselor holds the crown, trying to decide who to give it to. Avery and I share a look before our hands reach for the crown and snap it clear in half.
We clink the pieces together before resting our halves in our hair.
"I'm glad we could finally learn to share." Avery offers and I laugh.
"If only mom could see us now." She'd be so proud, I'm sure she'd parade our friendship in Karen's face every chance she got.
After all, we have what mom always wanted them to have.
The three of us make it to the dance floor as a song starts to play.
"Lucky me, I get to dance with my two favorite ladies." Gabe says, spinning us around.
"As honored as I am to have that title, how the hell are we supposed to dance?" My cousin demands and I'm about to insist they dance a voice interrupts.
"I think I can help with that."
Silently, I let Ashton lead the way. My arms resting around his neck like it's second nature.
"You look beautiful." He murmurs, pressing a kiss to my brow.
"Thanks."
"Sweetheart, look at me." He tries, moving his head to catch my eyes.
It takes a second, but I look at him. It's hard to hide what I'm feeling as he reads my face.
"I love you"
"Love you too." I mutter, unable to hold his gaze.
"What's-"
"Not in front of everyone." I stop him, "Just let us have this moment before you get swept away again."
"Scar-"
My head rests on his chest, blocking him out as we sway to the music.
The second the music ends, I turn to Avery who demands a hundred different pictures. I think it's because she wants to rub it in her mothers face that she actually won.
The fact that she looks amazing in her skin tight, jeweled red dress only makes the pictures even better.
Gabe eats it up, a never ending line of threesome jokes pouring out of his mouth. I'd be disgusted if the laughing wasn't the only thing keeping my tears at bay.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone needs some cheering up." RJ says, handing me a chocolate covered strawberry from the dessert bar.
It tastes like dirt in my mouth, reminding me of the day Ashton surprised me with some.
"Dance and chat, that way no one decides to harass you?" he offers and I nod, letting him move us to the dance floor.
The last thing I need is for someone to comment on how my apparent ex boyfriend danced with me.
I might claw someone's eyes out.
"Remind me that wishes don't always work out." I sigh, glancing at Ashton as he once again talks to a group of people.
"Don't say that." he sushes me. "You look beautiful, that has to count for something because some girls look hideous."
I snort, "Thanks, that's the only thing my boyfriend's been able to tell me today."
"It's tough, coming back and seeing everyone at once." He tries to reason with me.
"It's tough not seeing your boyfriend months just for him to be preoccupied with people that don't matter."
"I know, if you want I could try to fight him." He grins. "But, between us, I think he would kick my ass really hard."
A laugh breaks through my frown. "You're a pretty good fake big brother if I do say so myself."
"I try, you are my favorite little sister."
"What about Saffron?" I question in astonishment.
"Saff is my gal but you're the original." He taps my nose, "Don't forget it."
"I'm glad someone feels the need to remind me."
"Mind if I cut in?" The voice I've been dying to hear in person for so long asks.
RJ glances down at me, and I shrug. "I need to freshen up, I'll see you later."
I make it to the hallway before a hand grabs my arm, turning me around. "Sweet— you've been crying."
"So glad you could notice." I snap, not bothering to dry my eyes.
"Can we talk?" He begs and I nod, storming over to the bench I noticed earlier.
Plopping down, I cross my arms. "Talk."
Fingers run through his hair as he lets out a shaky breath. "I've been the worst boyfriend on the planet."
I don't bother contradicting him, he certainly isn't going to win best prom date.
"I haven't been spending any time with you and I'm so sorry. I didn't even think that would ever be an issue but tonight it is." He says.
That makes two of us. "You have friends to see and people to catch up with."
"I missed having familiar faces." he admits. "I got so caught up in them that I didn't even wonder why I felt lonely even when I was surrounded."
"You didn't look lonely."
"I was because I wasn't with you. I neglected you and I know it's beyond wrong and if you don't want to talk to me again tonight I completely get it." A hand reaches for mine. "I love you so much and I never want to make you feel like you were receiving anything less then all of my love."
"Ok."
His face falls, "I really do, the fact that you were willing to skip the prom you've talked about for months just to visit me proves how much I need to make this up to you. It was supposed to be your night and I ruined it."
"Our night." I whisper. "Tonight is our night."
"Only if you want to spend it with me."
"I do, even if you made me cry." I tease, trying to fix my face.
He does it for me, "That is a sentence I never want to hear you say again."
A hand rests over his, bleary, teary eyes taking in the determined glint in his own. "Something tells me I never will."
A grin spreads across his face as he kisses me.
"I believe you owe me a real dance." I manage to say between kisses, trying to get to my feet.
Arms lock me in place, "Say you love me."
"Ashton, you know I do."
"Say it, please, I don't ever want to hear it so half-hearted and meaningless." He tells me softly. "I'd much rather you not say it than say it like that."
Understanding washes through me as I grip his face. "Ashton Breckan, I love you with every fiber of my being. My heart holds so much love for you that I don't think it's possible to stay upset with you."
Even when he's unintentionally made me cry.
I'm released and I stand up, dragging him with me to a secluded corner of the ball room just like we ended up last year. No one able to disrupt us from each other.
"I'm surprised you didn't pout about me spending so much time with RJ." I joke, flicking his nose.
"He was doing what I wasn't, I really need to thank him." He admits, taking me by surprise. "But it still really sucked to see."
"There's my territorial brat." I smirk, "I forgot how much I hated that."
"You love it, especially since it's so hard to tell now."
Shaking my head, I let the world dissolve around us as I follow the beating of his heart. This is the only memory that matters.
*****
LIC hit 6 million reads and my insta has 1K followers, you guys rock!!
today I posted this bonus chapter & 2 LIS bonus chapters. tomorrow I post 3 In the End chapters (go read it if you haven't, I'm obsessed.) Friday I post 3 LIL chapters and Saturday I'm doing an insta Q&A!!!
Go follow me if you haven't, at 2k ill do an even bigger surprise!!