Hello everyone!
Here is the promised second chapter to add onto the short one I posted yesterday! Thanks so much for all your interesting comments yesterday! I loved reading them!
Don't forget to vote and comment here as well to let me know what you think!!
Love, Luckycharms
---
I did not actually end up going to my room. I knew I would not be able to sleep and I would just be alone anyways. So instead, I roamed the hallways of the palace on my own. There were multiple times that guards tried to stop me, trying to send me back to my room because I was not supposed to be alone, but I found myself asking them to just leave me alone before walking off.
I hated feeling so... watched.
What made it worse was that I was bruised and probably looked a mess... everyone was watching me and judging me and probably had something to say.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted to see my family.
I wanted to cry, but not in this cold place where no one really cared about me. No one but Aaryan... but I did not want to be with Aaryan right now. I didn't even want to look at him. Not now.
But even though I wanted to go home, I knew I couldn't.
I could not let my father see me like this... with bruises on me because my brother-in-law chose to attack me.
What would my father think? I would make him miserable.
I could not do that to him.
I could never let my family find out... and strangely enough that made me feel so alone.
I bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears.
"Seetha?"
I looked up, surprised to see Lady Suhanya.
"The guards informed me that you were walking around on your own. You should not be alone."
"I can't have a moment to myself?"
Lady Suhanya smiled. "No love, you really can't."
I didn't know if she was trying to be funny, but she walked over to me, took my hand and led me to her room. When we got there, she asked me to tell her what happened with Aaryan and I did.
Lady Suhanya listened carefully, and when I finished explaining how I felt, she spoke up about the matter at hand. "You are right to be mad, child, but you need to remember that what happened to you was not the only reason Aarun was punished," she said. "He has made a lot of horrible choices and his attack on you was simply the last straw."
"By why would Aaryan–"
"And sometimes, Seetha, it is not our place to ask the royals what is wrong and what is right," she said. "Especially when it has to do with Aaryan."
I frowned.
"Aaryan has a strong sense of what is right and wrong and challenging it never leads to anything good," she said. "To be fair, his vision of the world is a good one... though that does not justify his means of trying to get there."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked. She didn't want me to question him? She didn't want me to be concerned.
She seemed surprised by my question, though I could not imagine why.
"Am I supposed to just sit there and let him be so... violent?"
The look in her eyes was a familiar one. It was the same look my mother would make when someone would say anything bad about her sons. It was defensive... and maybe a little dismissive. "He is a warrior prince, my love," she said, seemingly trying to be reasonable. "What did you expect?"
I took a deep breath.
"Aaryan knew violence before he could even read. The Maharajah would take him to battles as a toddler. Of course he would never fight, but staying back in a tent does not mean you do not see the violence."
When I just stared at her in shock, she continued.
"I see why it is so hard for you to understand... but in order to even begin to understand you must first accept that he is different. He will never be like any of the boys you are familiar with... the boys you grew up with... in fact, though I am like his mother, I never even imagined he would even ever fall in love... I never knew he cared for that.
"And so you must accept it. He is violent, yes, but that does not mean he is a monster. Aaryan would never hurt an innocent person, and you know that, don't you? Hold onto that. Hold onto that because when you love someone, you must make sacrifices. And in this case, you will need to sacrifice what you've learned to be normal when it comes to what is right and wrong because it's not the same here. It just isn't."
I listened quietly and though I did not exactly agree with some of what she said, I did not question it.
Especially the part about sacrifices. If anybody knew anything about sacrifices, it was her.
"Your relationship will crumble into pieces if you do not understand each other... so do everything you can to understand him. Try to understand that he hurt his brother because he loves you. That, and because his brother committed a crime by trying to hurt you. Aaryan's actions are extreme and cruel but he did it because he loves you."
"But–"
"Remember this... if it had been anyone else who hurt you... there would have been no trial, no questions, no nothing. The man would have been executed on the spot."
My eyes widened.
"Do not be surprised... in my life I have seen people executed for much less."
I looked down, not knowing what to say.
Lady Suhanya reached out and held my face in her hands. "So go back to him, love. Go back to him and instead of being angry and fighting and leaving each other alone... talk to him and ask him to help you understand... I promise... if you ask that of him... he will ask you the same thing and maybe you will both reach a balance you are happy with."
I took a deep breath and then let it out. "Okay."
She smiled, looking pleased. "Seetha... you are a light in his life... his world his dark and he needs you to help him find his way. Remember that."
Those words hurt more than I would have liked, but I smiled at her before saying goodnight and being led by two guards back to his room.
As we made our way back, I tried to walk slow... and I tried to think of what my father would say.
My father always knew how to make me feel better.
He was not one to condone violence, but he also would have found men like Aarun intolerable.
If he knew what had happened to me, and Aarun's history, he would have probably done everything he could to have him punished, whether he was a Prince or not. He probably wouldn't have gone far, but he would have still tried.
If he knew what Aaryan had done, he would have been disappointed... but he would not have been upset.
He would have probably told him to never do something like that again, but would not have penalized him for doing it this one time.
I found myself frowning.
When we reached Aaryan's room, I was once again annoyed by the presence of the guards. I needed more time to think. I wished that I could just stand outside the door and think for a little longer... but with their eyes on me, I ended up just walking in, letting out a breath.
The room was dark, none of the candles were lit and the bed was empty.
To be completely honest, I felt a sudden relief, feeling as if I did not have to deal with this right now. However, from the corner of my eye, I saw the curtains that lead to the balcony moving as the wind blew in. I knew Aaryan was there.
I considered just climbing into bed and falling asleep, but I knew I couldn't.
I knew I probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyways.
So I took a deep breath and walked towards the balcony. When I pulled the curtain over, as expected, I saw Aaryan sitting on the extravagant couch that was to the right of the entrance. He had one leg up, his elbow leaning against it has he pressed his lips against his knuckles. As usual, he looked pensive... maybe angry.
A few hours had passed since I had left, and I wondered how long he had been sitting there.
I let out another breath, trying to figure out what to say, but before I could, he spoke up first. "I was told you did not eat dinner," he said without looking at me. "Is that true?"
The question upset me, only because I felt like he was trying to change the subject. Of course, I forced myself to just stay silent for a moment and reminded myself that he probably was asking because he was worried.
So instead of snapping at him, I took a deep breath and sat on the other end of the couch, at the edge of the seat.
We sat quietly for some time, not saying anything at all. I think maybe I was waiting for him to apologize... or something of that sort, but it seemed like I was not going to get that. It made me wonder if maybe I should apologize... but I felt like I did not have it in me to do that either.
Finally, as if reading my mind, he spoke up. "If you are waiting for me to tell you that I regret what I did, you will not hear that. Not tonight. Not ever."
I turned my head and looked at him.
"If I did say anything of the sort, it would be a lie. If I apologize to you, it would be insincere," he continued, still not looking at me. "And I do not want to lie to you, or be insincere."
My eyes suddenly started to water again at the thought of him feeling the need to not want to lie to me, and without my permission, I felt the tears explode out. He could have just made this simple. He could have just apologized, even if it was insincere, but he didn't. And when Aaryan finally looked at me, I began sobbing, again, my body reacting on its own.
I didn't want to cry in front of him.
I was trying to look stern.
Maybe even unforgiving.
But when Aaryan moved closer to me and pulled me into his arms, I couldn't hold it back. His arms were warm and his grasp was loving, and as I started to blabber incoherently through my sobbing, there was finally an odd sense of clarity. I finally understood why I was so upset.
"I don't... want everyone... to hate... you," I said between sobs. "Because... of me."
Aaryan was not evil. He was not cruel. He was honest... with himself and everyone around him. I knew that... I really knew that. I knew that better than everyone else in this entire world and it seemed like I was really the only one who had ever seen it.
I knew that though he talked big about not loving his brothers, he did love them. Maybe it was true that he was not raised to love them, and maybe he didn't even know himself how much he cared, but he did.
I knew that he was so hard on Aarun because he was disappointed in what he had become. Aaryan was so infuriated with him because he loved him. Because he was his brother. You cannot feel a disappointment so strong unless there was some hope there to begin with.
But no one else knew that.
Everyone else thought he was a vengeful, wrath and hate filled man who was someone to fear. Even his own family.
Even Lady Suhanya was wrong... she said that if I love him I would try to understand him and accept this other, angry side of him. But I did understand him. That's why I was upset. She was wrong... because that other side of him was not simply anger, it was love.
I hugged him back, still sobbing and pressing my face against his neck, feeling the warmth of his body in a way that I knew no one else would ever feel. And because of what happened, everything was worse now. Because of Aarun attacking me, and Aaryan trying to protect me, everything was worse now. "They're going to... hate you... because of me."
"Stop it," he said. He was calm, his voice was kind. "Don't be a fool."
"But–"
"Do not put the blame of what he did on yourself," he said, sternly.
"But everyone–"
"I don't care what everyone thinks–"
"You should!" I pulled away and looked at him, my tears still streaming down my cheeks. "You are angry because you love," I said. "You love me and you love Aarun. And no one else will ever know that so everyone will always be afraid of you!"
"And so what?"
"So–" I nearly choked on my own words. "You are going to be the King! If everyone thinks you are cruel then what help is that going to be to you?"
Aaryan just looked at me.
"I know you are not, but I am the only one, and that means nothing," I said. "No one cares what I think!"
"No one needs to–"
"It hurts me that everyone is afraid of you," I said, as sincerely as I could. "It hurts me to know that you think it's okay to say that you do not love your family. They are your fam–"
"No, Seetha, you are my family," he said.
I felt myself stop breathing.
"You and our child. That is my family."
I took a sharp breath. "And when this child grows up and asks you why you sliced off your brother's hand, what are you going to say? Will you lie to them too, lie and tell them that you did not love your brother–"
"No, I will be honest and say I did it because I love you," he said. "And that I would do anything in the world for you."
My brows furrowed as I looked at him.
"You were right... my people don't really know what it means to be a mother or father or brother... but what I know is that I love my blood because they are my blood. Because I am morally bound to do so," he said. "I punished my brother the way I did because he had time and time again disappointed me. He has proven to me over and over again that he does not love and respect me the way that I once had for him. And more importantly than that, he hurt you," he raised his hand and touched the cheek that was bruised from Aarun's attack. "He hurt you. The only person in this world who I chose for myself. I may not know what it is like to have a mother or a father or a brother the way you do... but I know what it is like to have you. You... the only person who loves me unconditionally... because you want to."
"Aaryan..."
"I will kill a thousand people with no regrets if it means protecting you. I would do this for my blood because I have to, but I'd do it for you because I want to. And it is because I want you that I would hurt my blood as well if I had to. And I would never think twice about it. I will not care what others think and if it means losing my chance to be king then I am fine with that as well," he said. "No one can make me feel bad for doing what I think is right by you and it will always be my choice. You should not feel upset by that."
"You don't understand..."
"I don't," he admitted. "We are different in that way. Love is not as 'innate' as you think it is. I never learned to love the way you did. I did not have a mother who raised me with hugs and kisses. I did not have a father who taught me how to be a man. And I did not have any siblings to play and grow up with. I was the Crown Prince. I was separated from all of that, and missed out on all of those experiences, yet with you it just happened... I suddenly knew something that I did not know before. It was as if the gods just took everything I did not have and continues to fill me with it whenever you are with me."
I pressed my forehead against his, still crying. He doesn't understand.
"And it is for that reason that I will never forgive anyone who tries to hurt you. I don't care if everyone hates me for it. You are more important than the throne, and if all the nobles... or even my blood... hate me because I chose to protect my wife then so be it. I don't care. I've said this to you before Seetha, and I will say it again... it's you and me now. You and me first. Everything comes afterwards."
I looked at him and let out the breath I was holding.
He did understand.
He just didn't care.
That did not make me feel much better. In fact, though my heart was racing, I just wished that we could drop everything here and leave. I wished we could just go somewhere else. Anywhere else.
Just me and him.
Somewhere where it didn't matter what people thought of him.
Of course, I knew that was just a foolish fantasy.
So when he leaned forward to kiss my lips, I let him. That made me feel a little better, since whenever he kissed me, it really did feel like it was just me and him... like the rest of the world did not exist. When he kissed me, my cheek and throat stopped throbbing and the realities of the world were dulled down. He wasn't a Prince anymore. He was just Aaryan.
But of course, when he pulled away, I was right back where we were.
I closed my eyes and kept them close for a moment, and when I opened them, I sighed. "Just... please... don't do something like that ever again."
I heard Aaryan let out a chuckle. "If it makes you feel any better... he's only got one hand left to slice off."
I gave him a look of disbelief through my tears and when he laughed my heart felt light... and once again, it hurt a little to know that no one would ever see this side of him.
No one would ever see him the way I did.