"Come on Cam, when you asked to stay, I didn't think you would be hibernating in the guest room the entire time"
My eyes slowly open, fluttering slightly at the harsh light leaking in through the cracks in the curtain, signalling that it was probably far too late for me to still be sleeping. I turn on to my back against the plush king-sized bed, shuffling the comfy and thick duvet off of my body, before fully opening my eyes and directing my attention to the tall and curvy girl before me.
"Liza, what part of depression and grief did you not understand?" I say, my voice low and cracking, my body still half shut down since I barely had any energy to be awake.
But that does make sense, I have been sleeping 24/7.
"Depression?" She scoffs out dryly, "More like self-pity" She says deadpanning, her tanned arms folding over one another as she juts out a curvy hip, her face not particularly sympathetic.
Though it was never Liza's vibe to be sympathetic.
I've known Eliza Green for about 3 years now, we met in high school and started off as enemies before rather quickly realising that we were basically the same person, and we rapidly evolved into rather good friends.
And she's good enough of a friend to not question why I've been sleeping at her for the last 2 days.
"Wow Liza, so much empathy for others emotions" I say sarcastically, whilst rolling my eyes, before, stretching out my limps and climbing out the cloud of comfort to sit at the side of the bed. I glance up at her and notice her attire, which was as usual minimal and over the top.
Though Liza definitely was the definition of over the top.
Her dark black hair was curled and left messily in a side part, emphasising her dark eyeshadow and bold red lips. She was wearing a short denim skirt, that hugged her curves and a black sleeves crop top that revealed a lot of cleavage, and her outfit was paired with thigh high, strappy black boots.
She did look great.
"Where you going?"
"To see Dennis, and then after we're going to a party" She explains as she walks over to the mirror latched to the beige wall, leaning forwards to examine her skin. I roll my eyes at the mention of Dennis, Liza's sleazy and unfaithful boyfriend who she has been on and off with since as long as I can remember.
He was never good enough for her, but no one could ever change Liza's mind.
Told you we were similar.
"You should come" She says when I don't reply.
I frown almost instantly making Liza heave out a sigh before tuning expectantly to me, her dark brown eyes narrowed down at me. "Cam, you've done literally nothing but sleep and cry the last 48 hours and you've barely been eating. The least you can do is come out, get some fresh air and just let loose for a couple hours, you haven't even left this room since you got here"
I sigh tiredly, running a hand through my messy and unbrushed locks, before rubbing tediously at my dark and dehydrated face.
She wasn't wrong honestly.
I hadn't left this room since I got here, and I've been wallowing in self-pity and sadness since I stumbled to her door two days ago, asking for a place to crash.
Maybe I needed to just stop caring and enjoy being free.
"Ok, fine, whatever I will come out for one night, but only one, then you need to leave me alone" I say sternly as Liza's face brightens, joy filling her at the prospect of us partying together just like old times.
Though, I wouldn't let it get to the same level of stupidity as old times.
"Yay, I'm so freaking excited" She says with a bright smile, making me giggle at her childish nature and hilarious facial expressions. "I will see you in about, 4 hours, make sure you are ready by 8 and we will be here to pick you up"
"Sure. Also, can I borrow something from your wardrobe, I didn't exactly pack any party worthy clothes" I say with a smile and an eye roll making Liza giggle whilst nodding, "Sure, take whatever you want, you know where my shoes and make up is, use whatever." She says and I smile gratefully before waving good bye as she tells me she will see me later.
As soon as the echoing sound of the door is heard I heave out a heavy sigh, my hands yet again coming up to rub tiresomely at my face and neck, the prospect of leaving this house already exhausting me.
With a deep inhale, I jump off the bed and wrap myself within my robe, before walking to the bathroom conjoined with the room and swiftly using the toilet and washing my face.
I definitely was not in the mood to go anywhere, but I felt bad. Liza was giving me a place to stay when I had no one else, the least I could do was reciprocate the effort and go to a party.
Who knows, maybe by some miracle I might actually enjoy myself.
After using the bathroom, I take off my robe, placing it on the hook behind the door, before opening the mahogany door and exiting the warmth of my temporary room. I make my way through the corridor and down the steps, before turning a corner and walking into the kitchen.
As soon as I turn into the kitchen, I immediately spot Ms Green.
Her eyes swiftly fall on me upon hearing me enter, and a bright warm smile graces her features. "Camilla, how are you doing, darling?" She asks warmly, placing down the utensils in her hand as she gazes thoughtfully at me.
"I'm doing ok, Ms green, how are you?" I ask, whilst making my way around the island in the centre of kitchen and swiftly sitting on a chair at the side.
Eliza's mother is probably the sweetest and most understanding woman on earth, I've known her just as long as I've known Eliza and she has been the kindest thing to me since day one and I've grown rather like a daughter to her.
Though god knows she doesn't need another stress ball like Eliza.
"I'm doing well dear."
I smile with a nod, genuinely glad that she's ok before reaching towards the cereal and pouring myself a bowl. I know it's ridiculously late to even consider this 'breakfast' but then again, I decide when and what happens so, I don't really give a shit.
"Camilla, honey"
My head glances upwards expectantly at the sound of my name, my eyes land on Ms Green and I quickly gulp at look of worry and sadness on her face. Her blue eyes were staring sadly down at me, her frown emphasising her age as she pushed away the items near her, before coming around the island and sitting beside me.
"I don't mean to intrude or be nosey," She starts, a small and caring smile on her face "But, I'm getting worried Camilla. Ever since you came here you've been isolated, distant and I'd be an idiot not to notice how tired you look, or how red your eyes are or how you haven't been on the phone to anyone, not your mother, not even Clarissa. What happened love?"
I gulp nervously, feeling my eyes prick and the water come rushing up. My hands start shaking slightly and my vision lightly fogs over. "Oh dear, don't cry love." Ms green exclaims as she rushes forwards, wrapping her arms tightly around me, her hands soothingly rubbing my back in comfort. I sniff back the tears, my arms loosely holding her as I try to stop myself from crying even more.
How embarrassing.
We pull back after a while, before Ms green moves away to grab a box of tissues, before coming back and gently placing the box in hand. I gratefully take it, before dabbing away the stray tears, self-irritation filling me.
Why the hell was I crying?
"I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm crying, it's stupid" I say dismissively.
"No, it isn't dear. Something has happened and it has obviously hurt you and now your trying to deal with it. But hiding it away and ignoring it isn't dealing, you need to talk about it, get it off your chest" Ms green says, her eyes filled with sympathy as she reaches over and holds my hand gently, the warmth relaxing me.
I sigh whilst closing my eyes, before eventually opening them and nodding my head at her. "Clary and some friends, well they're like family now, they lied to me, about something really really important. I obviously found out, a-and I was hurt, so hurt that they kept something so important from me and well I just couldn't be around them not when they could cover something like that for so long" I explain lowly, my voice scratchy and tired as I glance upwards, watching as Ms green intently listens to my conversation, before nodding at me to continue.
"I can't say what they hid, it's personal but it broke my heart that after founding out something that would literally change my life they hid it, tried to make sure I would never find out, they weren't there for me, but instead they made a decision for me" I say, stray tears falling down my cheeks making me roughly rub them away, not wanting to be so vulnerable again.
"Did they say why they kept it from you" Ms green asks after a while, a thoughtful yet sad expression on her face.
"They said they kept it from me to protect me, but it didn't protect me, it just made finding out the truth so much harder" I say, anger filling me, their betrayal was still fresh and still felt like an open wound, and the more we talked the more salt was added to that wound.
"Did you ever consider that even though hiding it from you was stupid and wrong, that they came from a place of good intention?" She says, I immediately scoff making her quickly shake her head at me.
"Now, I'm not excusing what they did. Whatever they hid sounds significant and they were definitely in the wrong to hide it., but- I know Clary, you both adore each other, and there hasn't been a single time in your life where she hasn't been there for you. And what I can gather about this new family is that they love you too, and I can imagine you care for them deeply as well."
"I do," I say nodding, "I love them a lot, but how can someone who claims to care and love you betray you like this?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly as I look up to hold back the tears that desperately trying to push through.
I couldn't cry, because If I start, I don't know If I'll be able to stop.
"Sometimes people do things with good and kind intention, they care about someone and are willing to do anything to help that person. Clary and your friends made an awful decision but not out of malicious intent or hatred but out of love, it was just misplaced and executed badly. But that doesn't change the love they have Camilla."
"So, what, I just forgive them?" I ask incredulously, my mind spinning as I contemplate whether I was ready to forgive everyone yet or not. Ms Green shakes her head, a small smiling etched on her face as she looks intently down at me.
"You don't have to forgive them right away, but re-build bridges and try to get passed it. Clarissa is your sister, your twin, don't let this ruin your relationship with her Camilla." She says frowning, and I nod, starting to understand that even though I'm angry at what Clary did, I still loved her.
And I desperately missed my sister too.
"And those friends of yours means well, give them a chance to make up for their mistakes. I bet with the right chance they would prove that they just want what's best for you." She says with a smile and I nod, a small smile coming onto my face as I actually think clearly about who I've left behind, and not have my emotions cloud my rationality.
I was letting my anger rule me, and it was making everything worse.
"Thank you, Ms Green. I have been fighting against myself these last few days, swapping between hating them and missing them. I certainly miss Clary a lot, and I really miss Izzy and Jace and I can't stop thinking about how badly I wish I could just see Alec, even if it was for a minute." I ramble, a small laugh escaping my lips as I think and reminisce about my family and how, despite my anger, I could never truly hate them.
I loved those idiots too much.
"Ahh, so the young man's name is Alec"
My eyes shoot up and land upon Ms Green, who's sporting a devilish smirk as she leans backwards against the chair, her eyes teasingly looking at me. I gulp nervously, before laughing awkwardly, not wanting to make it out to be what is it.
I can't believe I just talked about Alec like that.
"I have no idea what you mean" I say, trying to straighten myself out, but the heat surrounding my cheeks implied I was probably as red as a tomato right now.
"Whatever you say Camilla, just make sure you make him work to get your heart and love" She says with a smile and a wink before swiftly raising from her chair and leaving the kitchen before I can even protest against what she said.
Though maybe there wasn't anything to protest against.
***
"I'm going to go get a drink, you want one?" I ask loudly, but my voice was swiftly drowned out by the loud and thumping music that resonated through the speakers, pumping through the house.
It was around 9 o'clock and Liza, Dennis and I had just arrived, and I was already ready to leave.
"Sure, just grab whatever for me" Liza yells back with a smile and I nod, my eyes glancing up to Dennis who already had a drink in his hand, and was eyeing me like a piece of fresh meat. With a small scowl, I turn on my heel and make my way through the sea of people dancing and getting drunk to get to the kitchen, which thankfully wasn't too far away.
After a minute or two of fighting past people I reach the kitchen before opening the fridge and pulling out the tequila, vodka and beer, not particularly bothered with what I'm drinking. After grabbing some red solo cups, I make my way out of the kitchen and push my way back to where I was before. However, as I reach the entrance, I notice Liza isn't anywhere to be seen.
Typical.
Rolling my eyes, I chug back some of drink before eventually deciding to screw the cup, and start drinking straight from the bottle. I did want to leave, but didn't know where Liza was, so I decided to just find a nice quiet room and waste some time before finding Liza and leaving.
I trudge my way up the narrow and packed stair case, my feet dragging as the alcohol was starting to kick in.
I walk up 2 flights of stairs before noticing that the house has a rooftop. I quickly yank open the tightly shut door, and stumble in, the icy and harsh night air immediately hits me, but is welcomed by my intoxicated state.
I make my way over to the side, where luckily there was a tall surrounding ledge to keep me from clumsily toppling off the side. As I reach the ledge, my hand reaches out and grips the barrier, just in case, and my eyes take in the scenery of the night.
It was quite dark out; the moon was in a half crescent and was illuminating over the dark and ominous clouds that guarded the starry night sky. The thumping music was barely heard from the rooftop, and the only real sounds outside was the howling of the melancholy wind and the bustle of the city movement.
It was oddly calming yet chillingly lonely.
But anything was better than being down there with all the drunk and wild teens. Maybe once upon a time it was my vibe, but now that I was a 'Shadowhunter' it wasn't my vibe anymore.
Though, I wasn't even a Shadowhunter anymore.
I'm pulled out of my mind at the sound of the door opening behind me, I sigh irritantly, assuming another drunk and annoying teenager has found this quiet sanctuary and planned to disrupt the peace. However, as I turned on my heel to leave, I was met with eyes filled with whirls of forest green and ocean blue, and I almost instantly felt my heart stop.
"Alec."
HI GUYS!!
It hasn't been too long since I last uploaded but I've found myself itching to write more and continue the story. I mean, it's only been one chapter but I missed Cam so fucking bad, like Its unbelievable. I also know that some of you have missed her too, so here's this chapter to fill you in on what Cam has been doing since that fateful day.
But what will happen next chapter? What's Alec going to say? How will Cam react?
Read to find out my lovelies.
Make sure you VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE if you enjoyed the chapter,
And I will see you all next chapter xoxo