"If I had one wish, you'd stay forever."
My mind was practically a disaster zone as I lay down.
Jin was back. For whatever reason. This made me anxious as I doubted it was a coincidence that he had chosen this town out of all the towns in the world to have his comeback in.
Firstly, it was bizarre mostly because no one ever wanted to leave Heaven. Who would want to run away from paradise?
But Jin was very different than all the other mortals I had ever known. He hated predictability. He was fun-loving, daring and got bored extremely fast. He craved excitement and exhilaration. Instead of thriving in serenity, it wore him down. It drained him out. It was no surprise to me that he fled Heaven and his loveless marriage to Eve, no matter how long it took him to make that decision.
Secondly, and more important, I was suspicious of his timing. Jin reappeared just as I and Taehyung had started bonding. This can't be just pure coincidence too, right?
I was beginning to think all of it was just to push me towards insanity. And I was afraid of what I might become if the world kept on pushing my buttons.
"Faye, don't go."
The low rumble of Taehyung's voice was comforting as it wrapped around me. I tilted my head to the side to see him look at me through rounded ebony orbs, filled with something I had never seen before.
"I wasn't going anywhere." I said quietly as his hand gravitated towards my face, the tips of his fingers brushing against my forehead.
"Yet," he exhaled, his full lips slightly parted. "I'm afraid you're gonna leave me." he added, making me wonder what he meant by that.
"Well, I do have to go home, don't I?" I couldn't fight back the simper that spread over my lips.
"Why?" Taehyung shifted on the couch, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "Stay over."
"I don't know..." I mumbled doubtfully. "I stayed over last night." A giant heat wave crashed through me at the mention of the night we shared.
"So what?" Taehyung asked. "Stay over again. I have so much food left in my fridge I can't devour all by myself. Help me ravage it." He added with a soft chuckle.
"Ah, how can I turn down such a romantic proposition?" I sighed deeply, finally caving.
"Come on," Taehyung ushered me, standing up from the couch and taking my hand gently as he led me in the kitchen. I followed him, an unknown feeling emerging in my stomach as he intertwined our fingers. "Nah, you sit there and relax while I get everything ready." He commanded as I went and tried to help him set up the table.
"No, let me-" I started only for him to push my hands away.
"Faye, I said I'll take care of it." He ordered, giving me a stern look.
I rolled my eyes and turned around, taking a seat on one of the stools. I slumped over the polished surface and looked at him from across the kitchen island.
As I sat there and admired Taehyung and the way he looked so effortlessly godly-like even in his oversized baggy clothes, I couldn't help but go back and contemplate the first time I ever saw his file, the one Yoongi gave me when I was assigned Taehyung's case.
My mind would skim through the excuses written down on that piece of paper, the ones he'd use to dump women with. Back then I thought him to be an absolute tool for treating women like that. I deemed him to be absolutely disgusting and hated him even before I had met him.
But now, when he stood in front of me, grinning at me and eyes lit up with childish innocence as he set up the table, I started wondering. He must have had a good reason to be like this, and I had a general idea of what that reason might be. His strained relationship with his mother for instance. The way he was neglected as a child. Having grown up in a broken home. Lost his parents to addiction. All of that affected him deeply, creating issues he'd later on project onto other people. Everything fell into place slowly the deeper I dove into reflection.
"So," I let out casually, leaning forward. "Am I the first woman to have Dr. Kim Taehyung prepare a meal for her?"
Taehyung smirked, not lifting his gaze from the plates before him as he diligently placed them on the table.
"Are we having the obligatory conversation about past lovers?" he fixed me in a playful gaze, a glint of mischief sparkling in his eyes.
"It's not obligatory," I retorted. "More like... optional but recommended."
His eyes flashed back at me as he gave me a knowing look. Fuck, he's onto me. He knows exactly what I'm trying to achieve with this casual banter - find out more about his past. Of course he would, the guy's a freaking doctor.
"Was I too obvious?" I said in a light tone, my eyebrows curling upwards.
"It's okay to be curious about the person you're interested in," Taehyung smiled softly. "I get it. So to answer your question... yes, you're the first woman I'm preparing a meal for."
My heart fluttered in my chest and I had to bite on the inside of my cheek in order to stop the idiotic grin threatening to spread on my lips.
"Is that so?" I cocked a brow, attempting to sound nonchalant. "I feel flattered, but find that hard to believe."
"Why is that?" he glanced over at me, brows pulled together.
"I doubt you haven't brought other women here," I admitted and he tensed. "Come on Taehyung, we're adults. Both of us have been with other people before. I'm not that gullible."
"You didn't hear what I said," he gave a timid laugh. "I have brought other women here, just never cooked for them."
"That makes more sense." I replied.
"There have been a lot of women I've had relations with," he confided earnestly as I stared at him wordlessly. He glanced up at me again, his cheeks slightly colored by a rosy hue. "I'm not saying this to brag. I'm not proud of it, but I also want to be honest with you."
"Thanks," I nodded. "So, these women... why were none of them deserving of being cooked a proper meal?" I grinned.
Easy, Faye. You're pushing it.
"I just never felt like making an effort for any of them." He admitted, taking a tomato from the fridge and slicing it in half.
"Why do you think that is?"
He stilled, his eyes zeroing in on me.
"Wait a minute. Is your sexy therapist brain playing some kind of mind manipulation on me?" he asked suspiciously.
"Maybe?" I beamed innocently.
"Doesn't matter," he carried on slicing the vegetables. "I don't intend on hiding anything from you, Faye. You can know whatever it is you want to know. I've had a fair share of meaningless relationships. Safe to say, I never felt fulfilled by any of them. I held little value to them."
"Then why did you pursue them?" I wondered.
"For momentary pleasure," he simply uttered. "As evolved as we men claim to be, one of the biggest forces our brains operate on is sex. It's a primitive drive but it dominates our minds almost incessantly. It's pure biology," he explained. "Also, it made me feel a little bit less lonely."
I sighed. "I get that."
"Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not some jerkass that likes to use women just because," he said. "I was very explicit with each and every one of them about what kind of relationship this was. But they never listened. They didn't like it so they blocked it all out, and got romantically involved with me anyway. Eventually they got their hearts broken. At the end of it I was the bad guy even though I had openly stated way before that I wasn't ready for a committed relationship," he put the knife back on the counter. "So how is any of it my fault?"
"It's not," I agreed. "You can't be responsible for other people's feelings..." I trailed off as a cold wave washed over me.
"Indeed. I've always been up and front about where I'm standing, so why wouldn't they accept it? If the roles were reversed and I were a man pressuring a woman into something she's adamant she doesn't want, that would be plain creepy, wouldn't it?"
"I guess." I hummed.
The realization hit me hard as it dawned on me that every story has two sides. Taehyung's point of view and the point of view of the women who claimed he had broken their hearts were two sides of the same coin.
Initially he had been as clear as it gets with them about not wanting anything serious and had set specific boundaries. However, they chose to ignore that and force him into something he had said no to multiple times, instead coming at him and blaming him for their pain and disappointment at the end. So who's the real victim here?
Yeah... I had no answer to this question.
Most of all, it didn't matter because both sides ended up being hurt.
Taehyung was different than the other heartbreakers I had punished. He wasn't heartless. He didn't like to screw over women just for fun. He didn't get pleasure from using them and tossing them to the side, nor did he lie and cheat. No. For the first time in my existence, I had stumbled upon a heartbreaker with integrity.
Oh the irony.
"Naturally it ended the same way every time. In tears. I had to cut all ties." he went on, drawing me back to reality.
"But those women, why do you think you couldn't form a bond with any of them?" I questioned.
Taehyung paused to think. "You know very well my childhood wasn't a happy one," he explained. "I worked really hard for where I am now. I had nothing and now I have almost everything. I say almost, because I haven't found a significant other to share that with yet. I'm not gonna bring just any woman into the life I worked so hard to build. Unless I know she is a good woman. Someone I can trust and rely on."
Taehyung put the vegetables in the bowl and shuffled to the sink to wash his hands. He wiped them off with some kitchen paper, and walked up to me.
"Someone like you." he whispered, using his long fingers to cradle my jaw and tilt my face upwards.
And then I did something I hadn't done in millennia.
I blushed.
"Way to sweep me off my feet, Prince Charming." I said jokingly, desperate to stifle the fire that ignited in my chest as my face felt as if someone had pressed hot coal to it.
"I'm serious, Faye," his gaze gravitated towards my mouth as my tongue swept across my lips, his pupils dilating upon fixating on the involuntary gesture. "About this. About us. I didn't want you to go home tonight because I like spending time with you so much. I want to be around you constantly. You remind me of something I feel like I've forgotten. Some place I've been to or have some weird attachment to but I can't exactly put my finger on it. Does this make any sense?"
I gulped, wondering how much exactly of his true nature was he aware of, albeit subconsciously.
"Perhaps it does."
"And the reason I'm so drawn to you is because I think we're very similar," he mumbled. "What you told me this morning... it really got to me. The fact that you put yourself down with your words that way. It hurt me deeply, but I'd be lying if I said I've never had similar thoughts about myself."
"Taehyung, actually I wanted to talk to you again about-"
"About what?" he cut me off, a huge grin occupying his lips. "That you're the daughter of Lucifer?" he asked facetiously.
He still doesn't believe me. How can he not believe me?
"Yes." I deadpanned.
"Faye," Taehyung breathed, his hand drifting back to stroke my hair. "You and your sexy brain. I have to admit this is a very elaborate metaphor for addressing the parts of yourself you're not fond of." He smiled.
It's almost frustrating how oblivious he is! I'm telling him the truth straight to his face!
And this guy's a doctor?
"No," I shook my head slightly. "You have to believe me! Otherwise you'd never understand..."
"I believe you feel that way." he said, frustrating me even more with his reply.
Ugh! He still thinks I'm talking with figures of speech!
"That's not enough." I aspirated.
"Faye, enough," was the next thing he said, causing me to frown. "I don't want to listen to you criticize and belittle yourself by comparing yourself to the devil."
I wanna scream so much right now.
"Fine," I become glum, letting my frown deepen as I averted my gaze to the floor. "Let's eat."
Better just drop the subject. No matter what I say he just doesn't believe me. I told him explicitly what I was. Who I was. And it took me so much because I've been rejected before because of who I am, but it seems like nothing I say about my true self has any effect of him. Taehyung's completely insensitive to my truth.
Until it dawned on me... he probably thought it to be so ridiculous that he just wouldn't allow himself to believe it. He is a man of logic after all, a doctor. He wouldn't even consider the actual existence of celestial beings.
"Okay." he let out cautiously, picking up on the not so subtle shift in my demeanor. He didn't say anything but instead reached over the table to grab the utensils and hand them to me.
"Thank you," I said, taking the silverware from his hand.
In the process of doing so, I accidentally let the knife slip and it mysteriously managed to rotate around my forefinger, the sharp blade landing on my left hand and leaving a small cut in the skin.
"Shit," I cussed, sucking on my teeth. Blood started coming out from the small wound immediately.
"I got it," Taehyung reacted in a matter of seconds, shooting forward to grab a napkin and place it on top of the laceration. He applied pressure to stop the bleeding while in the meantime he stood up and started rummaging through his things for sterile gauze.
"It's alright, it's probably gonna stop bleeding soon." I announced. Naturally one of the upsides of being the daughter of Lucifer was being immortal and thus invincible. I was sure the wound would heal itself in the matter of seconds. The tissue would regenerate, courtesy of my body's ability to heal itself.
"Let me see," Taehyung commanded, urging me to lift the napkin. I braced myself for lying my ass off and explaining why there was no wound there.
But when I uncovered it, I stopped breathing.
There was still a lot of blood flowing from where the knife had notched into my skin.
And it just kept coming out.
This is weird.
"It's pretty deep." Taehyung murmured, examining the cut. "I'll clean it up and apply antibiotic cream to reduce risk of infection." He explained, brows furrowed as he concentrated on my hand. I tried to move my fingers and jumped from the surprise when the sharp pain pierced through me.
"Don't move." Taehyung scowled.
"Okay." I forced out, slightly frantic on the inside. I watched him treat the wound silently, my thoughts crashing around my brain.
I'm not supposed to bleed this much. I'm not supposed to feel physical pain.
What the hell is happening?
author's note:
isn't it romantic how Tae just refuses to see Faye in a bad light? What do you guys think about it? 💕