I'm a hazard to myself.
Don't let me get me.
I'm my own worst enemy.
-P!nk
"Seriously?" I massaged my temples with my fingertips after noticing not just Marcus, but August and Jordan sitting on my couch.
Marcus shrugged before picking up the remote to turn off the television. "When you texted me saying you weren't going to school I took it as we weren't going."
"We thought you'd want company." August smiled showing his teeth and I was mad that my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He may be an idiot, but he was still a hot idiot.
Speaking of idiots Finn entered from my kitchen snacking on a pop tart. Our eyes met for a millisecond before he took a seat next to Marcus. My mind instantly went back to the night before and I had the image of Carly laughing while playfully touching his chest pop up in my head.
Despite my body having a physical reaction to August, it was nothing compared to the reaction I was having to Finn being in the same room ignoring me. I could feel my pulse accelerate but before I could determine if it was out of anger, fear, or longing Jordan interrupted my thoughts.
"We wanted to talk to you about what you said yesterday..." Jordan's cheeks were painted pink as if he was trying to find the last offensive way to say something he deemed offensive. "Are you really going to be a cam girl?" My jaw went slack at his comment.
I ran my fingers through my hair trying to decipher how he would come up with something so preposterous. Then my previous comment dawned over me and I covered my face in embarrassment.
"What he means is we support you and we want to help." August stood and slide is hands in his front pockets.
Finn popped another piece of the pop tart in his mouth after smacking his teeth in defiance. While the rest of the room was banded together in moral support, he was ready to rain on our parade. "Please, there's no way Ryland is going to be a cam girl." It wasn't what he said, because the thought of being a cam model had never crossed my mind, it was his tone that pissed me off.
Everything in me wanted to punch his stupid face. "Why not Finn? Is it my attire you find unappealing?" I pointed to the oversized white t shirt I was wearing. "The way I wear my hair? I know you watched the video." I took a few steps closer as Marchs shifted to move out of my way. I bent at the knees to be eye level with Finn and met his gaze long enough to steady my accelerated heartbeat. My next words were only meant for him to hear so in a low voice I whispered in his ear, "did you not enjoy it?" The tips of his ears were crimson, and I knew I had proven a point I didn't know I needed to make.
The room was blanketed in silence. There was a wave of unease as everyone fought to not make eye contact with me. Well everyone but Marcus, he was still giving me an encouraging smile. I crossed the room and took a seat in an empty armchair. "Well, what do I have to do?" The room erupted in different suggestions all at the same time.
(.&.)
The guys were arguing over what my screen name would be and I needed a break. Marcus followed me into the kitchen and helped me pull glasses from the cupboard.
"This is the last thing you want to hear but I'm going to say it in the little time we have alone." Marcus' words were so rushed I was barely catching on to what he was saying.
I was about to ask him why he was whispering but then he continued. "Finn and Carly broke up last night—"
I burst in a fit of laughter; Marcus clearly didn't know what he was talking about. "I saw them last night and the last thing they were doing was breaking up."
Marcus rolled his eyes and started pouring lemonade in glasses. "Lower your voice. They aren't officially broken up, but they are taking a break. She proposed it."
I sighed trying to gather and balance three glasses in my hands. "You're telling me this why?"
"The gaps in their relationship is where you squeeze yourself in."
I ran my tongue over my teeth. "That would only work if he actually liked me back."
Marcus scrunched his eyebrows and gave me a look that made me feel like I had said something stupid. "Wow, I never took you for an idiot." Marcus grabbed the remaining two glasses and went back to the living room.
I followed behind him and when I reclaimed my seat, I didn't have time to get lost in Marcus' revelation. The conversation going on in the living room was already too stifling.
"Come on Violet Vixen is a way better name than Sex Kitten. It has alliteration so it's more pleasing to the ears." I cringed at both Jordan's explanation as well as the crappy names they had come up with.
Marcus cut in, "Guys I think we're going about this all wrong. Beckett what kind of porn do you watch?"
I felt my face flush as I stammered out a "What?"
"The type of porn you watch will help us figure out your target audience. Then it would be easier to figure out a name depending on what you're into. Like if you're on the weird part of the internet and you like sub/dom relationships we could name you Goddess Whatever. So, what do you like, lesbian porn maybe?"
I wanted to ask him why he was hanging out on the weird parts of the internet to know that information but no part of me wasted to know what Marcus was into sexually. Everyone's eyes were on me. I felt my hands start twitching with anxiety at the expectant look in August's eyes. It was like they were begging me to say lesbian porn so I could be the star of their wet dreams.
"Honestly I just pick from the first few recommended choices on the home screen." The room groaned in what I believed to be disappointment.
"You're disgusting." My eyes widened at Marcus reaction. "You're sick no one just clicks on the first video they see it could be anything! Have some dignity and at least search a category before you rub one out!" His eyes told me he didn't quite believe me. "Let me see your phone."
Pushing my phone deep into my pocket I shook my head. "Hell no, so you can go through my search history."
"August stood up grabbing at his hair in desperation. "Search history? My god woman how much do we need to teach you? Have you never heard of a private browser tab?"
I slowly repeated back the words "private browser tab" as the guys groaned in disgust again. I heard Finns distinctive chuckle and we met eyes again for the first time in hours. I saw the humor dancing behind his eyes and thought about how his smile while dancing with Carly hadn't made it to his eyes last night. Maybe they did decide to take a break.
"Guys stop! I get it I don't know what I'm doing. Let's just take a break." Becoming a video vixen was a lot harder than what I imagined.
Finn finished off his lemonade and placed it on the coffee table. "What did the police say?"
"Not much to be honest. The only helpful thing they said was they would get the video removed. As for figuring out who did it, they weren't too sure the culprit wasting sitting in front of them." I looked down at my hands not wanting to make eye contact with anyone.
"So, what they're not even going to try? It can't be that hard to figure out. You didn't send them and the only time you didn't have your phone was in Mrs. Winters class." August chimed in making a point I hadn't thought of.
I could see the thoughts churning in Marcus' head before he spoke. "There's only 20 people in the class. If we subtract you and Mrs. Winters that's 18 possible suspects. They could be in this room right now." He looked at each person while no one so much as twitched in their seats. "The real question is: who hates you that much?"
Carly.
No one wanted to say it with Finn in the room. He took his leave and grabbed empty glasses and walked towards the kitchen.
Marcus cleared his throat. "I think we've done enough for today. We'll get out of your hair." Marcus followed Jordan and August to the front door but instead of following them out he shut the door behind them and turned to look at me with a mischievous grin. "Now time for the real fun."
I rolled my eyes trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever he was going to say next. Finn stepped out of the kitchen. "They gone yet? Let's go."
I scratched my head, "go where?"
"The mall obviously. You can't be a cam girl wearing boxer briefs." Marcus tossed over his shoulder and I fought the urge to punch him in his back.
I followed after Marcus towards the door, but Finn lightly grabbed my wrist to stop me. "Ry wait. I'm sorry for making you feel some type of way earlier, but I didn't mean it how you took it. It's just not something... it's not you. I just want to make sure that this is a choice that you want to make for you, not because you feel like you have to."
I was surprised by my own response. "I'm sure."
Finn left out ahead of me and when I climbed in the backseat of Marcus' truck I tried to think only of where we were going and why. But I couldn't. I could only think of Finns fingertips around my wrist.
How I wouldn't mind them in other places.
It's a little short, I know I know .
It's the meat needed to get back to the dessert.
That's right ... steam ahead
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