Kailah
Did I mess up? Is that what happened?
I wanted to run back to Nadia and have her answer all of my questions, but the very logical side of me knew very well that I couldn't do that.
Nicholas had walked me back up to my room a while back, and since then everything has been eerily quiet. I busied myself re-potting the narcissus in the ivory painted clay pot I had brought up from the garden. Honestly, I didn't pay much mind to my surroundings. I normally love flowers, and the different colored buds, but tonight, I just felt like they were dull. I didn't even eat. Nicholas recanted the notion of course, but I argued, saying I simply wasn't hungry at all.
Here I am, still sulking. At this point, I knew much better than to act so stupidly. I knew the little girl inside of me looked at Eden and gawked in admiration. He was tall, he was handsome, he was insanely capable of handling his own, he's potentially everything a woman would want in a man. Who wouldn't gawk at him the way I do? I didn't blame myself for doing it. I blamed myself for knowing that it's been 2 days and I had a crush on a man I just met who, for all I know, could be married to a princess or something.
I heard a faint knock in my head, or at least I thought it was in my head. It took another one for me to realize it was actually someone outside my door. I expected it to be Karin, I mean of course she'd be worried and come hurriedly to check up on me, so I didn't ask for whoever it was. Instead, I just walked right over and opened the door.
I knew I was dreadfully wrong when the door opened and my view was blocked off by a man's chest. Broad shoulders, grey sweatshirt, even if I tried hard to ignore it, I couldn't lie to myself and not know who it was.
"Hi." Was all I managed to squeak out. My eyes were wide with both regret, and embarrassment. I suppose I would have had to face Eden again eventually. I may as well get it out of the way now, rip off the second-hand embarrassment like a used band-aid.
"Can I come in?" He asked scruffily. His voice sounded tired, exhausted. Not to say that his voice doesn't always have this texture to it, but right now, it sounded more like a plead than anything else.
"Please, come in." I invited, stepping to the side to allow him to walk in comfortably. Behind me, the moonlight was beaming. It was eclipsed the second Eden entered the room. It was like standing directly behind the shadow of a mountain. Still, I couldn't help but stare at him. He was, majestic.
I watched as he looked around the room, taking in a deep breath. As if this room was a challenge to him before, and here he was facing it again.
"We need to get you some more furniture in here. There's no place to sit." I pouted at the realization that perhaps he was only in here to take notes on my arrangements.
In my opinion there wasn't anything that needed to be fixed at all. It had a separate bathroom, walk in closet, some drawers, end tables, an ottoman at the end of the bed, light fixtures, and of course, my bed. It was far more than what was necessary to have in an everyday room. I had nothing else to ask for.
"I—I think it's perfect. It has more than a bedroom needs. I'm very grateful for all this thank you."
He stood facing the windows, facing the moonlight, his shadow casting behind him and onto me. He looked at me with some kind of solace.
"Sure. It's fine for yourself in here. But where am I going to sit when I stop in?" He squinted at me. And I didn't know whether that was an actual question or not. My lips moved subconsciously, in an attempt to answer, but I failed. I kept quiet once more.
Meanwhile Eden had opened the path to the balcony, sitting in one of the seats by the table, and motioning me over to him. I followed without question.
For a minute we sat there together in silence, watching the now violet sky reign over us. It was nice. It was calm. It was peaceful. But it made my mind wander.
"Do you know what this is?" He asked, breaking my thoughts. He held up a blank, white, gift bag before placing it before me on the table. It was the same bag he held in his hand when he had come across me in the alley.
"Left over cake from the cafe?" I answered plainly. That was the only thing I could think of, and quite frankly, it disgusted me.
I heard him chuckle lightly. "No." He said. Taking a second to look out in the forest. "I didn't have that great of company. It was a few questions that weren't worth my time. This is actually for you. Open it."
I physically felt the warmth rise out of my chest, up my neck, plaster onto my cheeks, and fume out of my ears. Surely it was nothing at all, maybe a small souvenir but even so, he thought of me enough to get it. Hesitantly, I began opening the gift bag, only to be greeted by a smaller, slim box. Plain white, no detail. I looked at him in confusion.
"Just open it." He replied with a hint of annoyance. I probably reminded him of a smaller sister or something.
My fingers fumbled with the box, I didn't want to seem too excited, but in all honesty, I was. My fingers stopped doing anything when I managed to open it.
"It's a phone." I stated in disbelief. "It's a phone." I repeated, looking up at him for answers.
He smiled at me. "If I lose you again, this'll make it easier to find you."
My mind wandered into all sorts of different situations in which I could respond in many different ways. In the end, I chose nothing, and said nothing. I spoke nothing but gibberish while my face mimicked a crimson curtain after a show.
"I—I can't—I mean I couldn't possibly accept—! The cost, the bills—"
Eden sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "That's all taken care of. Don't worry over any of that. We, as a house, need you to keep that on you. What if there's an emergency?"
I couldn't argue. What if there was an emergency? What if something happened to me, what if another instance like the alley passes by like today, except it's not Eden? Or worse, what if something happened to Eden?
I shook my head violently, pushing away any thought of him ever being in danger. I opened my eyes to peek at the phone in my hand again. It was pitch black, glossy, slim, and twice the size of my hand. I couldn't imagine how much it cost him.
"Thank you." I said in a whisper. My voice croaked, I was on the brink of crying to say the least. "Thank you, for everything."
It was silent after that. I didn't dare look up. I'm sure my eyes were as glossy, if not more, as the phone I was holding.
"Nicholas mentioned that you came up here right after the garden. That you thought I was upset with you."
His voice was mellow, and it felt as if it was sewed in with guilt. Knowing that made me feel heavy.
"I—I just thought you must have been annoyed. I mean, I just—ran off after you asked me not to." I confessed, my hands shaking and wringing all together. "I just thought, that it would make the day easier. If I could get to the flowers quickly and be done with it...we could go home—or you could have gone on a longer date perhaps. I—just—I didn't want to be a burden on you I promise." My tongue stung when the word 'date' rolled off of my lips. I kept sputtering out my excuses like a water bottle that was left with a loose cap. I was struggling to keep myself calm, and not a sobbing, incoherent mess.
I focused on my hands, resting on my thighs along with the phone. Until I saw Eden's hand resting on my own, a blanket of warmth radiating off of him. "Nothing about that was your fault. It was mine."
I heard him take a deep breath before he continued. "I should have kept you alongside me. That would have been the responsible thing to do, but I did the opposite. I knew what kind of girl she was. She had minimal interest in my father, and more so on myself, and my family's wealth. I was concerned about how she would try to confront you over some idle beliefs of hers."
I felt myself grow more sorry by the second. If you asked me why I felt that way, I don't think I'd be able to tell you. I just did.
"Even so..." I muttered. "I'm still sorry I just up and left like that."
"If you resent it so much, make it up to me." He commented, gently receded his hand, taking with him his warmth.
I ripped away from my anxiety for a second, and looked at him. He was staring out into the vast green of history. His skin was practically shining.
"Tell me a story." He finished.
I gave him a look that made him aware of how confused I was before I said anything at all.
"Why do you like narcissus flowers so much?" He turned away from the forest, and focused his attention onto me. He rested an elbow on the face of the table, using his hand as a platter for his jaw. It was like a 5 year-old asking for a bed time story.
"It's because of my mom."
"Tell me about that. Why because of your mom?" He insisted.
I told myself to hold it together. "I told you, about, how I used to pester Salem longingly to give me just something over my mother right?"
"You did." He answered cooly.
"Well, one day, I had enough of hearing her say, 'I'm sorry, there's nothing else'. I thought to myself, it's a big world, surely somewhere there must be something. And so, without Salem knowing, I ran away in the broad daylight." I paused, reminiscing my past decisions. I could smile at it now, at the very least, I came back safely, and with a glimpse of hope. "I didn't get very far. As I'm sure you noticed, the house I lived in is deep into the mountain side. It's not an easy endeavor on foot. So, I ended up about a mile away, in this deserted field with dry tall grass, and nothing else in sight. And I sat down for a minute, and cried a while. I remember, looking up at the sky and asking whatever higher power there was why I couldn't at least have a picture."
Eden scoffed at the end of my sentence.
"I never knew her name. I had nothing at all. Nothing to curse in vain. So I just started yelling 'mom'. 'Mom if you're out there, I hate you. I hate you'. I remember dropping down to my knees, and sobbing my adolescent heart out with my eyes closed, and broken. When I opened them, I noticed a glow beside me. And when I finally took a peek, it was a flower. A narcissus. To me, it quite literally came out of no where. Although in reality, it had most likely been there all along. I was just too angry to seize that moment. Regardless, I took it as a sign, a glimmer of hope that my mom was somehow watching over me."
"Did you take it with you?"
I looked outside beneath us before answering. Taking into account all the green, luscious grass. "No."
"Why not? You more than deserved that act of selfishness." Eden commented, emphasizing the sentient that I deserved it.
I smiled. "If I had picked it, the flower would have died. And even though the thought may be ridiculous, I couldn't stand losing another minuscule remnant of my mother. No matter how small it may have been. I told myself, that someday, when I was older and far more responsible, that I would find one, and care for it, for as long as I could."
Eden remained silent. I must have sounded like a depraved, melancholy child.
"You and I are the same in that way." He looked at me in understanding. Not an 'I'm sorry' not 'that must have been so hard'. "You and I both had to look at life differently at such a young age."
My eyes didn't stray from his, he looked so sincere, painfully sincere. "So—" He said, putting both his hands on the table. His hair illuminated like a halo by the moonlight. "It became your favorite flower, because you had that memory to hold on to, right?"
"T—that's right." I stumbled on my words. He was, simply put, something else. If he was an angel, then I'd be the purest form possible just to follow him to heaven when I die. And if he was a devil, then I'd be the most wicked snake to follow him to those depths too. That's how I felt when I looked at him.
"I was also told, you haven't eaten, is that true?"
I felt my face flush. This was so embarrassing. "N—no, I just, kind of walked up here."
"Come." He invited. His pronunciation a gentle hum, making it sound less and less like a command. "Let's go eat, I'll wait for you downstairs, okay?" He smiled, his hair waving ever so slightly in the wind.
I heard his footsteps disappear behind me, while I was left to recollect my scattered thoughts. I raised a hand to my face, evidently proving what I thought, I was unbelievably flustered. I felt so lucky. I took a good look at the phone that was now mine, and I knew the first I'd do tomorrow morning; call Nadia.
I practically skipped back inside my room, placing my phone inside the drawer of one of the end tables by my bedside. I quickly threw on a button-up smock over my sleeping gown.
My sleeping gown?
"Ahh! I'm such an idiot!" I whispered loudly to myself. How could I just let Eden waltz in here and see me like this? Oh god.
I hid my face behind my hands, plastered on like a mask.
It's okay, let it go.
I took a deep breath and began placing one foot after the other, trying my damnedest not to trip. It took more effort than you'd think, I was too excited.
The staircase seemed to go on forever, when in reality it was only a standard descent. By the time I skipped over the last step, I could feel my heart outside of my chest. I felt light, and my whole aura was just giddy.
When I walked into the dining room, everyone was already seated. As for me, it was a scene I'll hold close to me forever. This is a family. At the house, I'd set the table, but no one would stay. Maybe a few minutes at most. It was different a completely distinctive experience to say the least.
"Come sit my little rodi." Michael invited from the middle of the table. He was seated next to his brother, ad open space between them. I presumed it was for myself, although I'd rather not admit that, the last thing I wanted was to drown in secondhand embarrassment if i was entirely wrong.
Karin sat across from them, her back facing me, politely of course. She also sat beside an empty seat, meanwhile Eden chose to sit at the head of the table. I smiled warmly, and quickly decided to sit next to Karin. Not that the twins were bad company or anything. I just didn't want to be in between them in case they made some kind of snarky remark that would anger Karin. Just then, curiosity bit at me. "What does that mean?" I asked as softly as I could towards Michael.
"What does what mean?" He reciprocated, snapping in half a roll of bread from the basket in the middle of the table. This earned him a glare from Karin.
"Ródi? What does that mean?" I could feel their eyes, all of them, loom over me. The brothers seemed to look at each other as if to say 'you tell her'. The ambience grew quiet. Eden shifted in his seat, taking in a breath as he receded from his chair. He seemed even more godly when he stood. I thought perhaps my question had angered him, maybe it was none of my business? I thought surely he was going to return to his room and not come down until sometime later tomorrow. I could feel the regret crawl up my consciousness.
Instead, he loomed to our side of the table, taking just two quick strides until he was beside me. The wood scratched violently as he pulled out the chair just next to me. "It's Greek for pomegranate." He stated coolly. His voice was whiskey. It was rough, delicious and would burn your core in seconds. "Do you know what pomegranates stand for?" He questioned.
"No." I answered truthfully, in the smallest voice one could imagine.
Michael snickered, making me flush in embarrassment. Nicholas and Karin, noticing my discomfort, simultaneously kicked Michael underneath the table.
"Ow! What the hell?"
"Try some rolls Michael, you were eager to try them earlier weren't you?" Karin exasperated maniacally, reaching over to shove the bread in Michael's mouth. I could have laughed at the comical scene before me, had I not been so aghast with embarrassment. Karin continued to stuff the bread rolls into Michael's mouth until he could no longer make up any phonetic words at all, just disgruntled sounds.
"It symbolizes regeneration, rebirth." Eden said, manipulating my head to only think of him and his polished voice once more. My face was flushing pink and I didn't know why. What he said wasn't exactly a compliment, but I suppose my feeble restless heart took it that way anyway. I managed to build up some confidence, looking up at him beside me, my lifeless grey eyes meeting with his. His were quite the opposite: golden, waves of fire igniting in his irises. His eyes could hold hellfire.
"IHD ALSWO STANS FO MAWWAGE—" Michael managed to blurt out in between long breaths of him swallowing roll after roll. This single comment stopped time for both Karin and Nicholas, giving him a look of absolute murder.
"YOU—" Karin fumed, quickly cut off by Eden.
"Enough." He ordered. "I've had enough of your senseless babbling for one day Michael." Eden teased, doing his best to hide a smirk.
"Yes, sir." Michael relented sarcastically, countless crumbs surrounding his lips.
Without knowing it, I was smiling widely. The environment was homely, and I was home.