You rub the sleep out of your eyes, even though there's no need for it anymore.
Jungkook's sudden words have made your brain start working in full capacity, trying to work a way out of this situation.
"Don't deny it. I heard you in your sleep." he says.
"Jungkook, I–"
"Why did you do that, Y/N? Am I not capable enough in your eyes? Were you scared I wasn't gonna make it on my own?"
His eyes hold in them a look of disappointment you know all too well. You've seen it so many times on everyone's faces, because that was what you did—you let people down on and on and on.
You were scared that someday, there would be no one by your side.
"Why do you keep doing this? Why do you try to hold everything on your own shoulders? You think I would like that? Huh? You think I would enjoy seeing you work your ass off while I laid down like some old man?"
His voice raises with his every word and you start worrying someone will hear you, but he doesn't seem to care.
He was going all out, job be damned.
"I had no other choice, Jung-"
"You should've told me!" he shouts. "I would've done the extra work and more than that."
"I didn't want you to go through the struggle again. I've burdened you enough as it is."
"THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION TO MAKE!" he bellows and you hear it echo across the small room.
Your lips are sealed tight, trying not to whimper at his burst of anger.
You didn't want this to happen.
You just wanted to forget about everything, to not care about things anymore.
You wanted to watch the world blur away and be with him.
The flames of his fury lower down for just a moment and he takes a deep breath, calming himself down.
Then, without warning, he turns around and slams the door shut behind him, not giving you a chance to even say something back.
The mechanisms of your brain finally click into place and you're on the move, racing after him, but he's nowhere to be seen.
The hall is empty.
What were you going to do now?
If only Jungkook hadn't found out for another couple of days...
You go back into the room and rub your face in frustration.
Your back meets the door and you lean heavily on it, staring off into space.
You stay like that for a while.
Thinking and not thinking.
Replaying in your head everything that has happened.
You don't realize how much time has passed when the door opens and you're sent reeling forward like a bowling pin.
In enters Jungkook, who looks as if he'll apologize at the sight of you but then thinks better of it.
There are several Euro banknotes on his hands, almost balled up into angry fists.
He's fully dressed now, the old T-shirt and shorts he was wearing before, nowhere to be seen.
"Pack your things. We're leaving." he says in a low voice, still not levelling his eyes with yours.
"What do you mean? Where were you?"
"Pack your things." He repeats through clenched teeth and doesn't wait for you to start blabbering again.
He starts picking at random clothes on the floor and shoves them angrily in the suitcase.
There's a vein bulging on the side of his neck and a strain on his shoulders.
It looked like he was barely holding himself back and you were not sure why.
When you don't acknowledge his order, he pauses his packing and looks you dead in the eye.
"Are you deaf? I said start packing."
You flinch by the abruptness of his words.
He was right, though.
He had every right in this world to be angry and you were surprised at how he hadn't lashed out at you as much as you'd expected.
"We're getting out of here." he adds. "I took the money from the manager—your salary and my only workday's worth. I'm not letting these bastards torture the hell out of you anymore."
"But Jungkook, it's not enough–"
"It has to be. We'll find more if it's not."
"Ju–"
He runs a hand through his hair and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Look. I'm angry right now, okay? And I'm sorry. Just give me some time to get through this. I don't wanna hurt you."
Your stomach sinks to the bottom of your feet.
Please, scream at me you wanted to say.
Scream, shout, yell, let all your anger out.
I would swallow every scolding, every lash of hatred.
Just please, for the love of God, don't ignore me.
Don't turn your back on me indifferently, like I'm no one to you.
I can't take it.
But you say nothing of the sort.
"I'm sorry Jungkook." you choke and fight to keep your tears at bay.
A deaf silence hangs in the air like mist as you both quietly tend to your own things.
There weren't that many to begin with–you'd barely had the essentials.
You'd neglected a lot of things when focusing on your work.
Self care was only one of them.
"Are you done?" he asks, voice still sullen.
You only nod and pick your suitcase from the floor.
"Give me that." His hands find the handle before you can protest and he's suddenly heaving it towards the door.
"Get changed. I'll go get my stuff." he says in that same emotionless voice.
When the door shuts behind him, it's like everything finally gets to you.
You burst into tears, not able to hold them in anymore.
* * *
Liena has been hugging you for five minutes straight and it looked like she wasn't intending to pull away.
"Ma tmurx." she whines and locks her hands behind your neck.
"I have to go, Liena. Sorry."
You try to wiggle out of her embrace but the girl won't budge.
Jungkook's cough is heard just a step further from the reception desk.
"We should go." he says, adverting his eyes.
Liena finally pulls away and offers you one of her signature smiles.
You wave her goodbye, grabbing the suitcase laying on the ground and dragging it towards him, when Valentin appears.
"You're really leaving?" he asks curiously and you can feel Jungkook tense.
"Yeah." you admit.
He extends his hand for you to shake and you almost do so when Jungkook grips your wrist.
"Come on." he grits.
Looking behind your back as he pulls you along, you mouth the word sorry to Valentin and he nods in understanding.
Jungkook doesn't even throw you a glance but his hand is still gentle, careful not to hurt you.
And that's when you understand that no matter how angry he was, no matter how much you'd hurt him, he would never do the same to you.
He would never treat you as something worthless.
Your heart swells with pride at the thought of just being appreciated. He was too much of a good person.
And he had given himself to you, yours for the taking.
You wonder if that'd been a mistake.
He had put every bit of trust in your hands and you'd crushed it mercilessly.
Did you really deserve him?
"Here's your money," he suddenly says and lets go of your hand for a moment, fishing the banknotes from his pocket.
You've just climbed down the stairs and left the hotel behind your backs.
The sight of the crowded streets, bustling with people greets you like an old friend. It had been a while since you'd gone outside and you felt like a winter bear finally waking up from his deep slumber.
"It's yours." you say.
"You worked for it."
"I don't want it." you add, a bit more aggressively.
He raises his eyebrow.
"Sorry. I just– You keep it."
His mouth is set on a tight line and he puts the money back in his pocket.
"Are you still mad at me?"
You peer at him softly, trying to find a crack in his guard but he doesn't acknowledge your words.
He even acts like he didn't hear you and starts walking.
You quickly catch up to him and walk by his side.
"Jungkook, are you still mad at me?" you repeat and cling to his arm.
No answer.
"Jungkook, are you still-"
He rips his arm free of your claws and stomps off in the other direction.
"Kook."
You chase after him, your short legs barely keeping up with his long strides.
He finds a bench on the sidewalk and sits down. It's right on the coast, facing the sea.
"Kook, are you angry at me?"
He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs deeply in frustration.
"Come on now, I'm sorry." you whine.
You would keep pestering him till he forgave you.
"Kookieeeee." you make your voice high-pitched on purpose and shake his arm with both of your hands.
He stares straight ahead.
Oh for God's sake.
"I didn't wanna do this but you're leaving me no choice." You huff through your nose and rise to your feet.
There's a puzzled look on his face as you walk to the middle of the clearing, the sand crunching under your feet.
People walk by, and you're suddenly conscious of the stares they give you as you stand motionless.
Abort, abort!
Your mind was screaming at you to stop before you made a fool out of yourself, but at this point, you just didn't care anymore.
You cup your hands to your mouth and shout loudly in Maltese so that everyone could understand.
"INĦOBB JUNGKOOK!"
People stop and stare harder.
You don't blame them.
You rarely got to see a girl shouting I love Jungkook in the middle of the street like a psychopath.
Speaking of which, he slaps his forehead and lowers his head in embarrassment.
He didn't know any Maltese but even a fool would understand what you'd just screamed.
"I LOVE JUNGKOOK!" This time, you shout even harder in English and a woman stops by, laughing and clapping her hands together.
Soon, others join her and you see a small crowd gathering around you, cheering and whooping.
He can't take it anymore.
You spot his massive frame getting up from the bench and clearing the path towards you.
It only takes a moment and he's gripping your arm, none too gently, steering you away from the crowd of people.
Still, you note a spark of amusement in his eyes.
He wasn't angry anymore.
Nope.
Just embarrassed.
You ball your fists on his shirt and look up at him with hooded eyes, drunk from the euphoric feeling of having confessed your admiration for him.
The group of people behind you let out low whistles.
Jungkook pulls you faster, trying to get away from the prying eyes.
After you've put a considerable distance between yourself and them, the crowd nothing more than a speck in the horizon, he slows his steps and turns to you.
"Will you forgive me, Kooks?" you ask him again.
His lips quirk up but then he forces them down into a stony expression.
"Please. I'll do anything." you repeat.
"Anything?"
This seems to catch his attention as his eyes bore into yours with an undescribable intensity.
A mischievous smile creeps on his face and he dips his head down, staring at your lips.
Uh oh.
"Y-yeah." you stammer.
"Make it two, then." he says in a low voice.
"Okay."
"First of all, stay still."
Did you hear him right?
You search his eyes with your own, looking for a clue but he doesn't give himself away.
His hot breath fans across your cheek as he dips his head down and his nose tickles your throat.
You feel a hand wrapping around your waist and in a second you're pulled forward, both of your bodies lined perfectly with each other.
He gently presses a soft feather-light kiss on your jaw.
It"s barely there, a phantom touch, but you can feel it burn through your skin, its scalding hot traces leaving you a mess.
You're suddenly too aware of the fact that you're out in public, but Jungkook doesn't seem to care, proceeding with the same air of nonchalance.
"Second of all," he growls into your ear and his hand sqeezes your side even tighter.
"Don't you ever hide anything from me. Got it?"
You gulp and nod fervently.
He pulls away and you're suddenly cold by the lack of contact.
But his face...
No traces of seriousness or passion, but only a cute bunny smile spreading across his face.
What the hell?
Still not processing how he was able to change his demeanor in a matter of seconds, you squint your eyes at him.
"So... did you forgive me?" you try.
"I forgave you a long time ago." he says and smirks deviously. "I just liked to see you try to get my attention. It was hilarious."
"You little–"
But he's already out of your reach, sprinting through the sand.
"Catch me if you can." he sing-songs behind his shoulders and there's nothing else you can do except for stare at the way the wind sways his soft black locks.