Change of view
"Mmn- S-Shouto wai- mmm~" Shouto presses his lips against mine? k-kissing me? .. I've never kissed anyone.. oh dear, I might seem so inexperienced. I've never done this before
"Shoutoo~ naa~mm" he's not stopping.. it feels.. weird... I can't stop.. moaning.
He's so dominant in every move he does. He controls everything I do. He makes me feel so low, but it doesn't feel bad, it feels so secure and protecting, the feeling of getting me away from harm, not caring of about anything that might be surrounding me.
"Mnnaa~", It's almost. suffocating.. I'm trying to stop it.. I can't breathe... his hands pressing against my waist was so soothing and perfect, our bodies where perfectly fitting when they were tightly squeezed, wanting more... we stood with our legs centimetres apart our knees, any closer, one of us would lose our balance. We took so long, I had forgotten how suffocating it was.. making me start breathing along with him, our breaths mixing together
"Shouto.. ha..haa..", as I soon broke the kiss u took deep breaths, making sure I won't suffocate, "hold o-", he makes my head lean back with such a forceful push. The kiss he gave me wanted to be so deep.. it made me nervous that something is touching my teeth.. what... the thought of something touching my teeth made me feel so conscious of Todoroki that I was too afraid to hurt it. Whatever that was in his mouth, softly trying to push in, made my body feel so weak to the thought of Todoroki's empowerment. I let it inside my mouth... letting loose of whatever that wanted part of me..is that.. his.. his tounge? it's so warm... It's so soft. it's so...buttery yet tastes so.. good... so sweet, so special.. it's something I can't describe... the taste of Shouto, coming along with the cooling smell he gave off made me so unconscious at the moment, I couldn't bother wanting to stop.
"Mmn~" it's embarrassing.. what if he looks at me? What if I open my eyes and I see him staring at me? I took a hard grip on his arm..
It's delicious..
As the slurps of flavour came over me like a gush of wind..
Before we got too carried away, we broke the kiss, loosing the strand of saliva we shared to break.
"Midoriya.. I love you"
I opened my eyes and looked deeply into his. Surprised by the words that came out of his mouth..
Now that I think about it..
How did we end up like this?
...
How can a guy.. so..
famous,
so attractive to girls and guys, come to be with me?
How did he end up with someone so imperfect like me?
Why would someone so perfect end up here.. in a place that doesn't even compare to his smartness... his beauty.. his kindness..
And he chose to be with.. me..
someone that's weak.. that isn't strong.. someone so.. unattractive.... someone that always fails.. someone.. that... can't reach to his standards.. why.. why would he want to be with me?
...
Why would he want to stoop his level so low?
I...
"W-why?" I started crying..
"Huh?" Shouto's face turned pale
"Why do you love me??" Tears flooding my face.
"How can I not-"
"You can't.." I whispered
"What?" He questioned
"You can't... " I said in a clearer voice
I..
"I'm not good enough for you"
I..
"I'm ugly.."
I love you
"I'm weak"
I love you too
"I'm never going to be as perfect as you."
But..
"I can.. never be able to make you happy.."
You can't be happy with a failure like me..
"I won't ever be able to make you.. have what you want.."
You can't live a happy life with a guy..
"I don't even have enough money to bring you joy..."
You...
"I don't even have enough money for myself.."
You don't deserve someone like me..
"Maybe.. you should be with a girl.."
You don't deserve someone like me
"I won't ever be good enough for you.."
You don't deserve someone like me
"You don't deserve this.."
You're too special
"You don't deserve.." clenching my teeth
I love you too much
"Someone like me." Saying such words with a shaky voice
I love you so much that I can't.. that I don't want to... see your expression if you're.. disappointed..
"I love you too much.. "
No..
"I love you so much.. I don't want to see your face when you get disappointed in me.."
I don't want to fail him..
"I can't.."
Anything but him..
...
...
Before I could even see his face.. I ran.. I ran as fast as I could. Before he could even start thinking..
"Izu- Wait!" He grabbed me on my arm.. it was a painful grip..
No.. no... I don't want him to even be close to me..
"Stay away from me!"
I can't let him
"Look me in the eyes and tell me." He sterned
No..
"Get away!"
I can't..
"Please!"
I don't want to..
"Let go!!"
"LOOK AT ME!" His voice hardness.
"SAY IT TO MY FACE!" He yelled
"Y-you.. YOU CAN'T BE WITH A FAILURE LIKE ME.. YOU'RE PERFECT!! YOU'RE FREAKING PERFECT.." I shaked my head. His grip loosened..
"Midoriya.. why.. would I-" I took the chance to pull my hand off of him and I ran. Tears filling my head.. tears pouring out from my eyes...
...
...
One thing I realized that day.. made me understand.. how much of a fool I was..
...
The only words I said today were right..
...
I need to change..
...
Gosh I'm freaking pathetic.
...
I can't come to school tomorrow.. not like this..
..
I left the garden.. leaving a trail of petals that were broken behind me and farther than that.. I see Todoroki.. just standing there..maybe.. he really didn't care to chase back to me.. maybe he is reconsidering our relationship.. maybe.. he thinks.. that this was the right way.. this is the only way..
I cried.. and ran all the way home. By the time I reached my door step, my tears were dried.. but I still felt unsettled.. my heart was beating so fast.. because of the run.. but every time it started beating.. it hurt.. I went up to my room and sobbed.. since my mom was working overseas at the moment.. I was alone.. I mean..of course I would be... it's not like I ever make good friends... I'm always going to be alone..
I'm never good enough..
Everyone is always better than me..
I can never be able to have anyone to like me.. because I'm always the worst..
I cried.. burying my face into my pillow..
I love you so much Shouto...
But I can't ever be able to make you happy..
I sobbed...
...
...