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Riding in cars doesn't get any less fascinating. I'm currently riding with Kota, Victor, and Nathan in this green clunky sedan that makes odd popping noises when we speed up and clanks when we stop.
Kota told me to sit up front which is possibly the best place in the whole car. I can see everything from here, which is why Kota told me to sit here. He wants me to see if anything is familiar to me as we go from house to house.
That's our mission today.
They showed me the ninety nine files on the missing students. The goal had been to narrow it down to who might be Pix.3.lated, the hacker who reached out to them. A little over sixty were female, and only twenty of those disappeared around the time I appeared.
So now we're going house to house in hopes of finding some sort of clue that will either help us solve this mystery or point us to who might actually be my creator.
I know what I told them back in the office. That doesn't make it true. Not entirely at least. I'm scared. I'm scared that I don't have a story at all, that I'm nothing more than a sequence of intricately designed code with one purpose. I'm scared what that means for me once that purpose is satisfied.
"Here we are." Kota says as we pull to a stop on the road. I look out my window at a middle class home painted a pale yellow. There's a sigil on the grass by the mailbox, aged and worn down. Empty candles with soot ridden glass, are scattered along the outside of a huge photo.
The girl has brunette hair and warm green eyes. She's not blonde like the transmission girl, but Kota says we can't make assumptions on her appearance. It could very well be a guise she's using.
Kota leans across the middle console and purses his lips at the sigil," I believe we have the right house."
Victor pipes in from the back seat," Yeah. This is the address for Marnie White's house. Her parents never moved, obviously they're having a hard time moving on."
I didn't have to look back to know he was staring just as hard at the big picture as we were. Nathan adds in with a huff," Can't blame them. They lost their only kid. I wouldn't be able to move on either."
Kota sighs, a sad look in his eyes as he sits back in his seat," Vic?"
The way he says it has an air of familiarity, like it's been said so many times before that they've just shortened it and both know what it means within the context of the situation.
Not skipping a beat," Marnie White went missing at age sixteen, three years ago on October the fifteenth on her way home from her mathlete meeting after school. An only child. Her mom is a firefighter and her dad is an accountant. David and Amylee, respectively. She was a straight A student, with a knack for mathematics. Rumor has it, just before she went missing she'd been working on a mathematical paper with a college professor in New York. There was some speculation after she disappeared that that was the motive, but it never stuck."
Kota furrows his brow in thought and looks over his seat right at Victor," What was her paper on?"
Victor leafs through the file until he finds what he's looking for," Apparently a mathematical unity between quantum physics and general relativity."
Kota's brow shoots up," Impressive."
Victor shrugs," Not really. It fell through according to that professor. That's why it lost weight as a motive."
Nathan sighs heavily," If we didn't have Kota, Sean, Owen, and you we'd be screwed on this mission. This looks like it's going to involve a lot of nerds and their nerdy hobbies that I can't make a bit of sense out of."
Kota and Victor laugh as they all open their doors and get out of the car. I ghost through the door and stand off to the side. I'm still not really certain of my place here and I honestly would hate to get attached if I'm just going to disappear forever.
Kota looks at me and frowns. He pushes up on his glasses with his pointer finger and eases over to stand beside me. He doesn't touch me. All of them have decided to avoid that as much as possible.
"I'm going to need you to snoop while you're in there. We'll get what we can out of them while you do that. Okay?"
I nod once, hands twisting each other behind my back.
This really isn't anything new I'm doing. I've been snooping in other people's homes for a while now. This felt more invasive though. This was a girl who went missing around the same time Pix.3.lated disappeared.
In a way, I'm linked to them. It feels more personal than anything I've ever done.
I follow the three to the front door, noticing how distant they're being with me. I have the inkling that they're thinking the same thing I am. It'll hurt more when I disappear if we get attached. Or maybe it's because they think I'm a computer program and don't think I'm a person at all.
Either way, it kinda stings.
My hand rubs at the quiet place where my heart should lay. A dull ache throbs there.
Nathan knocks at the white door and looks around everywhere while we wait. "It's not noticeable unless you look for it, but there's some neglect going on here. Don't be surprised if it's a disaster inside." He murmurs to us, or just them. Probably just them.
We all stand up straight when the door cracks open. A woman in her forties peaks out at us through the crack. Her face looks weathered, her blue eyes cloudy.
"Is she okay?" I find myself asking them. Victor purses his lips as he tries to subtly look at me. He vaguely shakes his head, barely noticeable unless looking right at him. His eyes though say it all. No. She's not okay.
Of course she isn't, I chide myself. She lost her whole world.
Though I can't remember if I even had a family or know what it feels like to lose something I care about that much, my heart still aches for her. I look back at the picture standing in the derelict sigil by the road as the boys talk to the woman.
The picture is faded from sun exposure even though it's in a frame, water seems to have leaked through as the edges of the photo are mottled. Her eyes though remain untouched, unstained.
They're happy eyes, bright and full of obvious intelligence.
She had a story. A story where she was the heroine and had people that'd miss her if she disappeared.
I didn't.
"Psst." I startle and spin around to face whoever it'd been who'd made the noise. Nathan is holding open the door for me and jerks his head to the side. I get his silent message and scurry in after him.
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I watch as the boys sit on dusty couches in the living room. Amylee White sits opposite of them in a tattered rose colored robe, her brunette hair a knotted scraggly mess on top of her head. She looks around at everything in a sort of daze, as if she's not really seeing anything at all.
Kota looks over at me and jerks his head towards the hallway where the bedrooms are. I nod back," I'll be quick."
I don't give them a second look as I make my way down the hallway. I don't think I can face them much anymore knowing they might think I'm just a series of coding that has a personality.
Am I even feeling real feelings? Or did my creator make me this way?
I shake those thoughts away as I ghost through the first door. I can't linger on that thought. I just need to push through this. None of us can possibly know the outcome. I'll just have to do my best to push onwards and keep an eye out for answers that might help me.
The room is a bust. Just a guest room with dust on every surface. The master bedroom and the office don't turn up anything either. It's the last door that catches my attention. Sunlight shines through the crack at the bottom of the door and there's this heavy weight coming off of it.
When I ghost through that door I'm met with what can only be described as a shrine. It's like a single moment stuck in time, just covered in dust. I feel sad looking at the lavender room with the unmade navy bedding. I have a gut feeling that this is exactly how Marnie left her room three years ago.
There's still a glass cup on her bedside table. Something sticky has evaporated from it and flies buzz around inside it. A scattering of papers lay on her desk. All of them are of mathematical equations I can't make sense of. Sticky notes line the edge of her vanity mirror. They say things like 'Mathlete Competition coming up on 11/3', 'Peer Review at NYCU 12/13', 'Meeting with Mr. McCoy @ 3 on 10/24'.
I sigh as I look around the room relentlessly and find nothing. I guess I'd gotten my hopes up without meaning to.
It's hard for me to just walk away from her room. My feet feel frozen to her carpet.
"I think it's time you leave!" I hear Mrs. White bellow.
I take that as an order for myself as well and head towards her door. Before ghosting through it, I look back at Marnie's room and whisper," Don't worry, Marnie. We're going to find you. I promise."
With that, I walk through her door like a portal and vanish from her story.
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We went to five other houses that day. The families of Ashlyn Sims, Seraph Tyson, and Emily Franks all chased us out. The other two, Madison Jameson and Ripley Wilson's families, were nicer but didn't have anything new to add to the files we already had on them.
I didn't feel anything either when I went to these houses. I tried not to let it bug me, but I think secretly I'd been hoping I'd see a picture of one of them and feel like it would be looking in a mirror.
So now we only have one singular commonality amongst all five and none of them matches the skill set or profile of Pix.3.lated. There were two mathematicians, a virtuoso, a linguistic specialist, a physicist, and a chemist. None of them were hackers. In fact, over half seemed nearly anti-computer or at least had an aversion to technology.
It's been one dead end after another.
That's what I'm hearing Kota say as he tells Owen about our day. Owen is listening to Kota, but his eyes remain on me the entire time.
It's making me fidget and stare at the wall uncomfortably as Kota drones on, so I won't have to make eye contact.
"I just hope tomorrow provides better results." Kota finishes off.
Owen hums in thought as he adjusts his glasses on his nose. I can still feel him staring at me as the silence drags on.
"Mr. Lee." He says in absolute authority.
I hear Kota as he straightens up," Yes, sir."
I don't like their dynamic very much. Kota is so eager to please Owen that they come off as a military unit instead of friends. It's so unlike the others.
"Would you please excuse Miss Pixel and myself? I'd like to talk with her in private."
A chill sings through me, startling me. I look down at my arms and am alarmed to see the skin looked odd, littered with raised bumps and with hairs sticking straight up.
I'm only vaguely aware of the door shutting as I stare at my arm like it's some alien growth. I don't even hear the footsteps making their way towards me.
"Miss Pixel?" A soft gentle voice says to me.
I look up at Owen, a man of pristine perfection. His grey eyes are molten silver at the moment, churning with a compassion unusual to see there. I raise my arm at his silent question and whisper," My arm. Look."
Owen takes my arm in his hand, that static so familiar now it's almost muted.
"Hurry."
I jolt at the voice I'd just heard while Owen studies my arm with a small smile twitching at the corner of his lips.
"They're called goosebumps, Miss Pixel."
I can hear the amusement in his voice. I furrow my brow up at him," Goosebumps?"
His minuscule smile grows just minutely larger," Yes, goosebumps. They appear when someone is cold or afraid or overly aware."
"But I'm not human." I find myself blurting out just as he turns to walk back to his seat. He halts instantaneously at my words and spins around so quickly, I jump.
His eyes are no longer molten. Now they're hard steel as he looks at me. " Why would you say such a thing?" He bites out.
I cower just a little as I mumble," Well, I'm not am I? I'm a computer program. I'm not real. I'm not a person. That's why everyone is avoiding me right?"
Owen's eyes flash dangerously. He stalks towards me, following even as I stumble backwards. He catches me by the arms as I start to fall backwards and jerks me forwards until I crash into his chest.
The static overwhelms me, blinding not just my eyes, but all thought.
Her blonde hair blows in the wind. The grass too green, the skies too blue, and a wilting blue flower held out towards me.
Her face isn't hidden in light though. Now her golden hair covers her eyes from me.
Her voice, so disconnected and sweet, says to me," You must remember, Pixel. We're running out of time."
I reach out for her," What do you mean? Who's running out of time? The missing students?"
That can't be right! We still have a few months.
Her chin jerks upwards, tossing her hair away from her eyes. I gasp as crystal blue eyes stare back at me. Only there's something very wrong with them. There isn't a pupil in her eyes. Instead are sequences of ones and zeros, a binary code in lines that are zooming up and down at different speeds. The green numbers glow brightly, just like the grass that's too green, over her beautiful blue eyes, like the skies that are too blue.
Those emotionless binary eyes stare back at me as she says," Both of us. We both are running out of time."
I gasp and cling to the fabric under my hands. A throbbing starts in my head and water rushes in my ears. I faintly can hear a masculine voice speaking to me urgently and can faintly feel warm strong arms wrapping around me.
"...pxl....pi...xel...PIXEL!"
The water fades away and the throbbing in my head eases. I look up at Owen who is watching me like a hawk. His arms hold me tightly to him, so tightly I can feel the various depths of his hard body. He's warm and I feel so safe in his arms.
I feel so real.
Something liquid falls from my eyes while I'm looking up at him. I see his eyes widen just before I bury my face in his chest. There's an overwhelming tightness in my chest that feels like it's trying to squeeze my heart into dust.
"What's wrong? What happened?" He commands of me.
I sob," I don't know!"
He merely holds me to him after my outcry. He doesn't let me go, doesn't let me crumble to the ground.
All he says is exactly what I need to hear," I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are real, Pixel. Computer programs do not get goosebumps, they do not cry, they do not feel. There's no logical reason to design a program in such a way. Pix.3.lated doesn't seem the type to waste resources on something so trivial in such dire circumstances."
My cries stop instantly. Instead I find myself staring at his suit jacket with wide eyes.
"I don't have all the answers for you. I can't tell you exactly what brought you to this, but I can say with absolute certainty that you are real. You feel, Pixel. Remember that. We do not know all the facts just yet, but I fully intend to get them. I know with absolution that those answers will free you."
"How can you know that?" I whisper to him.
He grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I've never seen a man have such a piercing look of determination in his eyes before.
"Trust me. Trust me to know that and don't fret over the details."
I sniffle, suddenly finding my nose congested. He smiles at me and pulls a handkerchief from his front pocket. I take it and go to blow my nose while he still holds onto me with one arm.
I have the unfortunate experience of making eye contact with him while I blow my nose. A wash of heat hits my cheeks. He smirks, still holding eye contact without any shame, while I hold the handkerchief to my nose still melting into a puddle of embarrassed goop.
"And leave those boys to me. I'll be having a talk with them about how to treat a lady."
My eyes nearly pop out of my head as he lets go of me. Instantly, my tears vanish and my congested nose clears up as if it's never happened at all.
I look down at the tissue and see ones and zeros glowing a bright blue in a cluttered pile in the tissue. My eyes widen as I stare down at the tissue. I don't think that's right.
"Owen..."
"Hm." He says mindlessly as he taps away at his phone.
I can't take my eyes away from the binary blob in my tissue," I think you should call Sean."
Owen immediately looks over at me, his grey eyes stormy," What's wrong?"
Like before, when I'd been in Sean's class and I'd felt that odd sensation of someone possessing my body, I numbly mumble without any control of the action," We're running out of time."
For the first time in my memory, my eyes close and I fall to the ground. It's like sinking into a very dark place and I can't get out...