When did I go unconscious? I don't recall losing all feeling. I hoped everything that had taken place was a horrible nightmare, or a coma. The agony in my chest was an instant slap to the face that told me that it all happened. Nothing was fake. It was all real.
Slowly, my vision comes back. Water generates in my eyes, my lip trembles with the pure pain that burned in my torso. I whimper. I flip my body off my stomach, moving onto my back. A strange hot, thick substance covered the opposite side of my body. A sudden realization dawned upon me. It was my blood.
I bring a hand up to the gapping hole in my chest. It was a deep pit gushing liquid. I groan in discomfort.
I need to get up, I think. The spark to survive that has pushed me my whole life was fading away. It wasn't driving me anymore. Why? I failed. I failed everything. All this power that I had put myself through hell for was for nothing. I will forever be a fable for being the most pathetic creature to ever walk the planet.
The sun was created, but that didn't eradicate all the pain and suffering in this world. It didn't kill off the doctor. It didn't exterminate me, like I had planned all along so that the endless torture would end. Instead another version of me has taken the Ruby away to use for their own goals. This copy will have the same intentions, but not the same ideas on how to pursue my goals. They will stop at nothing. They will want to live forever. The Ruby slows down the aging process, that's why I wanted to kill everything along with myself. But the Phantom that possesses the Ruby now will stop at nothing to complete my ultimate fantasy: being the one end Shadow's loathed existence.
Shadow was right, I think to myself. My thoughts were barely in order. Swarms of emotions that I had ignored for so long were coming to attack me. I am so... weak.
I couldn't tell if the footsteps I heard were in my head or not. A hand presses down on the gap in my chest. My eyes shoot open and I scream in pain. My vision was blurry for a moment, then I realize it was my tears.
I saw the unnatural eye. Phantom. It was them. Its masked face was close to mine. There was no emotion in the fake duplicate of a body. Their eyelid was half closed to look condescending or mocking, but there was no real sign that they felt this way.
"I suppose even if you multiply zero by infinity," Phantom slowly pushes me back to the metal coated in my crimson paint, "you still get zero."
The blinding pain prevented me from speaking back to the entity who betrayed me. The words wouldn't come out. The hitched breaths barely filled my lungs. This was the worst pain I've ever felt.
I am going to die, I knew this. Make it faster...
A glow emanates from Phantom's hand. The pain eases slightly. Were they keeping me alive? No, I don't want that. The bleeding barely slowed. I grab their wrist, use it to pull my head up to look at them in the eye.
"D-d," I am only able to stutter starts of words. "S-st..."
Phantom places a hand under my head and lays me down. Everything is going dark. My hand loses all feeling and releases Phantom's arm, leaving behind a bloody mark.
No... I failed.
The world was numbing out around me. The wind was pulling at my hair, hitting against my back. After all this, nothing mattered. None of my actions changed anything that had happened.
The metal platform should be getting close now. What will it feel like when it greets my spine? Will it be a thud and then darkness? Or will I survive and squirm on the ground for a while? "Which one did I deserve?" was the bigger question.
Flesh was the thing to grab a hold of me not metal. We still fall for a short amount of time, but I couldn't bear to look at who caught me. It felt as though nothing mattered, everything was either filled with pain, exhaustion or guilt.
"(Y/N)?! (Y/N), talk to me, buddy!" It was Sonic who caught me.
I force my head to look up at him. I blink, but it was slow. My brain hurt. My body felt like it was on fire, yet I was cold at the same time. My lids were being called by gravity. I had no say in the shut down of my entire system.
...
All the words that came from everybody's mouths meant nothing to me. I couldn't listen. I was going through the motions. Slowly my gaze moved up to the large screen of the bull pen. It had reports coming in. They were all about progress, mostly construction or things like that. Ever once in a while it wouldn't be so positive and it would show that the bodies of missing soldiers were found. But there was no sign of the jackal who had slipped out of my grasp.
"Looking for something, (Y/N)?" a voice asks. I look behind me. It was who I should've predicted was there. Amy.
She was the one who has been pushing me around in my wheelchair for the past four days. Amy's wound across her stomach wasn't as bad as the destruction I had done to my system. I had apparently worn out my body so badly that it was almost impossible for me to walk. It had gotten better with some exercises and practice, but it was still a struggle. I would be sweating and on the verge of passing out in the end. Or I'd be stumbling like a toddler taking their first steps.
I shake my head. I could feel that my eyes still looked glassed over and dead. I haven't been the same since the end point of the war. Apparently Robotnik had fled soon after "Infinite" had disappeared. After that, things went smoothly and recovery was underway.
Things didn't feel right. I could even tell.
The doors open. I hear Knuckles' voice. Amy turns me to face the Commander.
"Finally," he sighs, seeing that the majority of his crew was in the room despite their injuries. "An end to the endless war. Everyone can finally go home. There's no need for a Resistance anymore."
Something about those words seemed both relieving and unbelievable. I could never imagine myself without a war to be fought. I don't know how I'm going to live without some type of battle for survival happening. That's how I've grown up and matured, how could I live without it?
"Hold on," I hear Silver say. I look in his direction. He was standing up from a crate. The stitches in his side were redone and wrapped in gauze. The shoulder Infinite had dislocated was in a sling. "There's still plenty left that needs to be done."
Gadget raises his head, stepping closer to Silver. "Yeah, there's still cleanup, rebuilding, and helping all the soldier's coupe."
Ever since Gadget had helped Silver down from the tower, they have become closer. Well, everyone has since Gadget wasn't payed much attention to before the end of the war.
"Shorty's got a point," Vector agrees. Ironic he says that since Gadget is taller than me, like most people.
I turn to face Knuckles. I scribble words into the whiteboard in my lap. Once I'm done, I aim it in Knuckles' direction. Amy sees that I'm trying to get his direction and calls for him.
His violet eyes scan through my sentences. "Hmm, are you sure you're ready to leave?"
I need to go. There's somebody I need to go and find. That was what I had wrote. I nod, lowering the board.
"You don't want to heal for a few more days?"
I shake my head. I needed closure.
"Okay. I won't stop you." Knuckles crouches down in front of my wheelchair, he puts on a smile. "Just make sure you come back in time for your promotion, okay?"
I force a slight smile in response. In a week I was going to be given the rank of sergeant, a goal that I've I had buried in the back of my mind for a while. It was an upgrade from the corporal rank I have now.
A large hand pats my shoulder, I glance up. It was Vector.
"The first time I saw you walking around, I never would have thought you could ever be capable of doing the things you've done. Good work."
Espio nods beside him, Charmy floating in the air gave two thumbs up.
"Great work, soldier," Espio phrases. It meant a lot coming from him since he never really spoke much.
"I was really scared of you at first, but now I'm proud to have two edgy idles!" Charmy smiles. I wondered for a moment who he was talking about, but I was instantly able to add the pieces together.
I look over at the crate Shadow leaned against. Knuckles' voice pulled my eyes away from my half-brother who was still clueless about the blood relation.
"I knew you'd pull through, Rookie. Well, I guess you're no longer a rookie. You outrank or are equal with most of the people in this room." Knuckles crosses his arms, smiling.
Rouge playfully shoves the Commander aside. Knuckles loses his balance for a short moment in surprise. He gets his footing back, then reverses a few feet from the bat.
"You did good out there," Rouge crosses her arms. Her voice was genuine.
I quickly scribble down on my whiteboard, snickering slightly. This is out of character. Go back to the good old Rouge I know.
Rouge smiles. "I'm being sincere because you didn't show up at the last minute out of the blue to play hero but end up trying to kill your ally instead."
She glances back at the hulking powerhouse of metal. The robot raises their giant hand, acting like they were going to smack the bat. Rouge tenses slightly, prepared, but the knives for fingers never came. Rouge chuckles slightly.
My eyes find Shadow again. He had his arms crossed. The rings were back on his wrists. Now I knew why Shadow needed to keep them on at all times. Without them he will become a being of raw energy. The power will eventually wear out his body. Shadow had been unconscious for a day after the rings were removed. He still isn't quite recovered, but sure as hell is doing better than me. I had slept for two days.
His red eyes lock with mine. Shadow and I stare for a moment while Tails started talking. The words blur out again. I could barely listen. My mind was distracted again. I think about how in the hell I'm going to tell Shadow and Sonic that they are a part of me. Shadow seems like it would be easier to explain to, since he already knows what I've been through. Sonic though... He doesn't know anything.
I blink for a moment. Things weren't right. Nothing was the same. Shadow was different. His eyes were a deep violet. There was a bodysuit and leather jacket covering his body.
Leviathan.
I shake my head. Shadow was there. I look away to Tails.
"This war has formed an unbreakable bond between all of us," the young fox lectures.
Everything changed again. Where the yellow creature once stood had been replaced by a female figure. Their fur was a brighter yellow, their eyes were a neon blue instead of Tails' cobalt ones.
"Even with the fight over, we are still comrades," Neon says.
I massage the side of my temple. Everything around me was warped. Rouge had a white otter replacing her, Ash. I cover my sockets with both hands, trying to breath deeply.
With my eyes still shut, I push down on the arm rests and stand. My knees wobble but I walk around the wheelchair and step straight. I hear the sound of the doors opening, and I keep walking. This only meant it was the right direction.
I ignore the calls for my name and let the doors close. Only when they seal shut, I open my eyes. My legs wobble as I move down the hall. My balance was failing. It didn't take long for the ground to pull me down. I fall, my hands stop the concrete from hitting against my face.
Something was wrong with me. I had started crying. Weeping on the floor like a weak little bitch. Why am I doing this?
"(Y/N)?" I hear. Someone kneels next to me. Their hands hover, uncertain of what to do. Eventually they stop hesitating and cup the side of my face.
Shadow. His face showed worry, a rarity. I couldn't stop my crying no matter how much I held my breath. Shadow pulls me close, pulling my head over his shoulder. His arms wrap around me. I don't even try to fight him. My body just kept shaking with each sob.
"It's okay," he comforts, patting my back. "Let it all out."
Two minutes pass, I try to communicate, but nothing came. This made my emotions crash like tidal waves even more. Only stutters of a single letter at most.
"Shh," Shadow says. I wrap my arms tightly around him. I couldn't stop this. All the tears. They just kept coming. A few drops of hot water soak into the fabric of my shirt on my back. But they stop quickly.
"I-I-I," my mouth tries to start. "Y-y—"
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything."
But I do.
The scene of the jackal escaping my grip plays again and again in my head. "Don't let me go!" he had said. He was so desperate... And what did I do? I let him go.
"Get the whiteboard from the bull pen," I hear Shadow say. I didn't even care who he might have been talking to.
Another presence comes. They sit beside me. I kept my eyes closed.
"When you're ready, you can talk," Shadow says.
No, I can't! I never can! It's not fair!
Another several minutes pass. Now I was struggling to breath. Shadow rubs my back, comforting the pain that was finally coming to the surface.
My eyes open for a short moment, I see the whiteboard and marker on the floor. I squish them shut again and feel around for the method of communication. My fingers find it, I clutch it. My vision changes from the darkness and I grow aware of everything again.
I lock my sight on the whiteboard and the words I'm about to write. My hands were shaking. I look around me quickly. Sonic was beside me, staring with worry. Shadow still sat on his knees, calm.
They were both here.
The air got hard to breathe. A giant weight of fear crushed my soul. My heart slammed in my chest. My hand wouldn't move. My mind was overthinking. The hot tears stained my face still. They wouldn't go away. I harshly wipe them with the back of my knuckles.
I force the words onto the board and toss it to Sonic, crawling a few feet back. Waiting for an explosion.
"'You are my brothers'," Sonic reads.