It was a normal day.
Meychan, Gero and Kony were sitting on the bed in Gero's room, recording a new video for their channel.
Being the crackheads they are, they could be found clinging onto each other, wheezing from laughter at the sight of each other dying from the sweet and spicy food.
After they were done filming and laughing, Kony waved goodbye and took his leave, saying he had an urgent appointment to attend to, leaving the other two by themselves.
"Finally-"
As if on cue, Gero ran to the sink in the kitchen to, yet again, rinse out his mouth of the spice that had corrupted it.
"Haha, that's cute. Can't you take that little spicyness?"
"Oi. You were crying earlier, too."
"Eh? You held me in place, I couldn't even rinse anything out!"
"Serves you right!"
"You little..."
Meychan was walking dangerously closer to Gero, making the latter shiver.
He didn't know if it was out of fear or excitement, but he knew that he liked it.
"Come on, fight me, Gero-san!"
"Meychan, let's be honest. It's obvious who would win-"
"Yes, me."
"Exactly, you would win."
"And that's why I'll just- Not... Do... Anything...?"
He was getting unsure of himself as he looked at him get closer.
Then, though, he turned on the faucet and splashed Meychan with water.
"My hand slipped, oops-"
"Okay, it's war my dear."
The elder sensed the danger and started running through the entire appartment, getting chased by Meychan all the while.
What he didn't know was that the younger actually had a plan.
And Gero sure as hell wouldn't like it.
Running from room to room, back into the other room and then to another room, still getting chased by Meychan, he finally gave up and came to a halt in his own room, throwing himself on the bed and throwing his hands up in defeat.
"I give up, I give... -Up. Damn, I can't run-"
He was breathing heavily, laughing as well, rolling from his stomach onto his back, back onto his stomach, and so on.
He turned his head to check if the coast was clear from time to time.
Suddenly, the door to his room was burst open, an angry Meychan storming inside.
"Now I got you where I wanted you..."
The elder sensed that exact same dangerous feeling as he did prior to being chased again.
He knew shit was about to go down.
"W-Wait, Meychan, we can talk about this-"
"Oohh, no. You went ahead of yourself, Gero-san. And now you're going to pay for it.", the younger threatend, a smirk never leaving his face.
He crawled onto the bed, leaning over Gero, hands placed on either side of him.
With a swift movement, the brunette attacked the elders hips, making him laugh uncontrollably.
"Ah- Ahaha! M-Meychan- Please stop- Hahaha! I-I can't breathe! Haha-"
Ignoring his pleads, the younger continued tickling him without showing any evident sign of mercy towards him.
"You have to take responsibility for the things you do, it's only fair I do that-"
Even while tickling him, Meychan himself was laughing, as well, enjoying himself completely while having the upper hand.
Gero, on the other hand, was about to faint due to lack of oxygen.
"P-Please- M-Meychan- A-Air-"
The brunette finally gave in, noticing how the male beneath him really had struggles breathing and got up.
"*cough cough*... Thanks... *cough*"
"You refused to give me water back then, I'll refuse now. It's only fair."
He laughed, pushing his glasses up as he looked at the elder sit up and catch his breath.
"I did give you water! After like, a minute or so?"
"Wow."
They stared at each other, both refusing to break the eye-contact and kept the silence alive.
.
.
.
.
Until they started laughing out really hard.
They didn't really know why, but they just always felt like laughing when they were around the other.
That's what best friends are for, right?
Their laughter slowly calmed down.
They still sat in Gero's bed, thinking about what to do now.
Suddenly Meychan had an idea.
"If we did a staring contest, who would wi-"
Gero stopped talking when Meychan took his hand.
Out of the blue.
When the elder looked at him, he merely shrugged.
"Go on, what were you saying?"
"Ah, I was saying-", he continued, giving the younger's hand a firm squeeze, "What if we did a staring contest. Who would win?"
"Huh."
It was silent for a while, but neither of them minded.
It was a comfortable silence and feeling their hands moving gave them the sign that they were present, alive.
"I have pretty bad eyesight. I'll probably blink out of reflex."
"Ah- You're right. Your eyes sure are bad, huh..."
"Oi, they're not that bad! Just think of something else to do now."
The elder put his hand to his chin, thinking.
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.
"Well... We could just lie here?"
"And do nothing?"
"Yea."
"Just... Laying? Holding hands? Cuddling maybe?"
"Sounds good."
"Good, count me in."
"Oh, maybe we can put on a movie, too? It's always entertaining."
As he said that, Meychan was already going to his room to get his laptop.
"Bring Spider-Man!!"
"Which part???", Meychan shouted across the rooms.
"I don't care as long as it's Spider-Man!!"
"Prepare yourself! Catch!"
As Meychan reached the door to Gero's room, he threw the laptop on the bed, making it hit the elder's leg.
"God, watch it!"
He just laughed, sitting down on the bed.
"I brought Spider-Man, you can't be mad."
"Seriously, I could never be mad at you anyways."
"That was gay."
"Was it?"
"I think so?"
"Huh, I don't get what's gay about that. I can just be mean to you, then."
Meychan shook his head.
"You know what, just be yourself. I'd rather have that."
"Wise choice. Now, get the movie going!"
"Yes, yes."
The brunette did as the elder told him, starting the film and then laying on his back, with Gero right beside him.
It wasn't pitch black dark, so Meychan could still see something.
He was looking at Gero's hand, then at the movie, then back at Gero's hand, movie, hand, movie, hand- At last he finally built up the courage to just take the elder's hand in his own, squeezing it and laying his head on his chest, listening to his heard beat.
The elder was confused at first, but didn't seem to mind, so he just lazily threw an arm around Meychan, pulling him closer.
None of them seemed to mind the closeness to each other.
In fact, it made the whole situation more personal and more comfy.
They didn't move an inch.
Not because they were anxious- Not at all, they were comfortable with each other's presence.
During scenes with tension, they could feel the grip on the other's hand become tighter, and Meychan also felt the elder's heartbeat get faster when the movie plot built up.
It just felt right being near each other.
'Cuz that's what best friends do, right?
.
.
.
.
A few hours later, keys wriggling and an opening front door could be heard, signaling that Kony was coming home.
Gero and Meychan couldn't care less though, they would talk to him sooner or later.
Kony had other plans though.
As he noticed how quiet the appartment was, he went to Meychan's first, only to find nothing.
As he opened the door to Gero's room, he was shocked.
"I'm... Back?"
He eyed the situation.
"Uhm, did I miss anything? Or why are you two practically glued to each other?"
Meychan only looked at him in wonder.
"What do you mean? We're just watching a movie. Do you want to join? We've been through a few already."
"Uhm..."
Kony was visibly confused.
How did the two end up cuddling...?
"Wait, are you even holding hands?"
"Hm? Yeah, why not?"
"Oh my god. I- No, don't mind me. I- I'll be in my room. Have... Fun? I guess...?"
Turning around, Kony quietly left the room again, pretending nothing happened.
"What was his deal, though?"
Gero kept looking at the movie, not bothering to feel embarrassed.
"I don't know, man. Must have had a few drinks?"
"Yeah, that's probably it. But don't you think we watched enough movies for today? I'm getting sleepy tbh..."
"Oh, sure. Wanna sleep then?"
"If you don't mind me staying here."
"Of course not."
They turned of the lights and snuggled against each other, slowly drifting off into slumber.
……………………………
When Gero woke up, he found his arms locked around the taller.
The blanket was covering them only halfway, which proved to be quite bad, as the older, in his shorts and T-shirt, found himself shivering.
He unwound one arm from his flatmate and pulled the covers over the both of them lazily, paying attention that it covered them nicely, before tiredly resuming to his usual position, hearing the younger breathe.
He tried to fall asleep again, enjoying the warmth that both the blanket and Meychan offered.
Though after a while, he opened his eyes again, looking at the younger who he had his arms wrapped around.
His hand was unoccupied, and - he just saw - so was his own, as well.
So, although hugging him, he still reached out to hold the brunette‘s hand, intertwining their fingers, then closing his eyes again.
……………………………………………………
As Meychan awoke the next morning, he felt a comforting warmth on his back.
Slowly turning around, his face was met with Gero's, only centimeters seperating them.
The elder, as Meychan was looking at him, was still asleep.
Though he was shifting every so often in his sleep, his face seemed relaxed, as well as his breathing.
Meychan smiled to himself.
'He sure looks cute when he's asleep.'
As he continued watching Gero sleep, his gaze somehow landed on his hands.
He remembered yesterday evening, were the two lay in bed, cuddling and holding hands.
He thought about it for a while.
He never saw him and Kony hold hands, or him and his other friends cuddle with each other.
Still, he shrugged it off, squeezing his hand lightly, enjoying the feeling of security it gave him while he tried coming even closer.
When he felt Gero react and pull him in closer unconsciously, he felt happy, and unable to fall asleep again.
His heart started beating faster, a feeling he's never felt before.
Why was he feeling this way now?
Did he catch a cold?
What if it's a fever?
He doesn't want Gero to catch it too if that's the case.
He carefully tried to unwrap Gero's arms from him to get up, but was unable to do so.
Mainly because Gero's grip was too tight, but also because he felt the urge to just lay in bed with him all day.
When thinking about waking up the elder, he felt a slight panic surge through him.
There was no way he would do that.
Instead, he just let his urge to enjoy his warmth win and relaxed.
He turned his head around again, and concentrated on the feeling on his back.
How he was literally lying right next to him, closer than ever.
With that thought, he slowly drifted off to sleep again.
……………………………………………………
Gero opened his eyes, blinking a few times.
The memories from watching the movie and cuddling with Meychan immediately rushed through his mind, making him blush slightly.
Wait, why was he even blushing?
It's normal for friends to do that, right?
Don‘t all friends cuddle occasionally?
Or hold hands on a regular basis?
Was it even normal for Gero to miss the feeling of the younger‘s hands in his own?
Maybe it only counted for best friends, then.
Still, he felt glad that Meychan was asleep, calm and still in his arms.
Until he stirred.
"Ngh... Gero-san?"
"Y-Yeah. You're awake? Did I wake you? I didn't want to, I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine... I slept way too long."
There was a long silence after that.
Both had yet to realize what situation they were in.
They had thought about the possibility that what they were doing wasn't what normal friends do but brushed it off.
Still, laying there together, now awake, felt somehow weird all of a sudden.
Not to be misunderstood- They were still happy and enjoyed it, but something was odd about it.
Suddenly, there was a certain awkwardness to the things they usually did.
More like an awareness.
Still, both refused to believe that what they did wasn‘t usually what friends did.
"What time even is it?“
Gero removed his arms from around Meychan, as well as his hand, to look at his phone.
"Almost noon. 12pm...“
He ignored the empty feeling of his hand that just held the younger‘s.
"Gero, we- Uhm, nevermind..."
He didn't have the courage to ask him about their relationship.
What if everything would be gone after that?
If they never cuddled, never held hands again?
He didn't want that.
So, he decided to keep quiet, and just told himself that they were friends.
Not just friends.
Best friends.
Platonic relationships can go this far, right?
That‘s what he was sure of.
He thought.
"You okay? We should get up, right? That‘s what you wanted to say, isn‘t it?“
Gero sat up, almost hastily, feeling the cold air hit him as he left the younger‘s body.
"Yes, of course!! That's exactly what I wanted to say!! Haha..."
Gero noticed the pained expression on his face but knew he couldn't help him.
He was feeling as weird and didn't know what to think of the situation.
As much as he felt the need to confront him about it, he was convinced that it was just normal, that it was just a bad day.
Of course there wasn‘t anything wrong with their friendship.
So, after they got out of bed, with Gero pulling the curtains open, letting sunlight enter the room, while he squinted his eyes, they exited the room.
Jumping over his fear of being rejected and just to test how he would react, Meychan came up to Gero and hugged him from behind like a little kid wanting attention.
Startled, the elder stopped walking, turning his head to look up at Meychan.
Confused, as well as calm.
He smiled, relieved that Meychan doesn't hate him or anything and that maybe there's still hope for things to not get any weirder between them.
„We good?“
He had to confirm that the younger wasn‘t mad at him, or feeling uncomfortable.
After all, as his best friend, his job was to make sure he‘s happy.
"Yes, I... I love you, Gero-san."
"Eh- H-Huh?"
"I-I mean as a friend! As my best friend!!"
"Oohh. Well, I love you too, Meychan."
He was startled at first, to say the least. But now, he felt relieved.
Although, he hated to admit, disappointed.
Though he could not explain why exactly.
When he looked at Meychan looking at him indifferently, he rested his hands on his that were locked around his stomach, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
He was too happy to see Meychan not mad.
He turned around, locking eyes with the younger.
Meychan was smiling and bend down to give Gero a peck on the cheek too.
Both of them felt glad.
Glad that they resolved the situation.
They decided to go to the living room and sit down.
Hand in hand, towards kony, who looked - as the youth would say - shook.
"Did you two finally make up?"
"Yes! Everything's fine between us."
"So you're finally going out?"
"Huh? Where to?"
"Oh my fucking god-"
The only logical person shook his head, drinking his energy drink while looking at his phone.
"I seriously cannot believe you two.“, Kony said to which Gero laughed while turning on the TV, using his unoccupied hand.
"You talk nonsense, Kony.“
He patted the seat besides himself, but Meychan had other plans.
He sat down and lifted Gero up, seating him on his lap.
Shrugging, Gero let him do as he wished, and leaned back against Meychan, his back resting against his chest comfortably as he switched through the channels.
His still messy hair was probably tickling Meychan‘s face by now.
Meychan didn't mind though.
While Gero was busy with the TV, the younger decided to ruffle his hair and play with it.
"It's soft."
"What is?"
"Your hair."
"Oh, is it?"
"Yes, I really like it. How do you do that?"
"Actually, I feel like your hair is fluffier."
"Really? I can wash yours the next time if you want to."
"Sure, sounds good."
"Oh my god guys, I can't listen to this anymore!! Are you gonna kiss next or what!?"
"Huh? But we already did.“, is what Gero simply answered him, "On the cheek.“
"Do I even want to know why?“
Nodding, Gero grinned,
"Out of happiness!“
"... Happiness?"
"Yes!", Meychan joined the conversation, "we were happy that we're friends and get to spend time together and be this close."
"Did you guys even think about what you're saying?"
"Of course. Why would we not?“
"You guys-“, Kony sighed heavily, done with everything, "You know what? I won‘t say anything. Nothing, no.“
Gero just punched him playfully, "You‘re weird. I‘ll get water, my throat is all dry.“
With that, he began lifting himself off of Meychan.
"Could you bring me some water too?", Meychan asked him before he was gone.
"Sure!"
Gero leaned down to still sitting Meychan and gave him a short and soft kiss on the lips.
"Oh. That's a new one."
"Is it bad?"
"Not at all.", the younger smiled, feeling his heart beat fast again.
"That‘s good.“
He left quickly, smiling happily to himself as Kony just watched the whole situation dumbfounded.
"Are you kidding me?“
"What's your problem, Kony? Seriously."
"Wha- Did you just ask what MY problem is!? Oh my fucking god."
"I don‘t understand? What did I do, Kony?“
Meychan was becoming slightly irritated as he looked at his friend confused.
"No. I said I won't say anything. You have to find out for yourselves. And I really hope you do so quickly. For my own sake, but also for yours. If this keeps going, you're only gonna hurt each other."
"Gero was right, you talk a lot of nonsense.“, he laughed while scrolling through his phone, "You must have had a few beers too much, huh?“
Although he said that, Kony's words meddled with own thoughts and left a bitter sweet taste on his lips.
What if Kony was actually right?
It did confuse him not to know what was really going on between them.
As far as he knows, he did not feel the urge to do the things he did with Gero with Kony.
Or with any of his other friends, for that matter.
It really only was Gero.
So, when he came back, carrying two glasses of water, and wanted to sit down again, Meychan felt conflicted.
"Here you go!"
Gero gave Meychan his glass and leaned in to give him a peck, too, but Meychan backed away slightly.
"Meychan? Is everything alright?"
"I... I need some fresh air, be right back."
"Huh?“
As Meychan left, Gero looked at Kony.
"What‘s with him?“
Kony merely shook his head, "Nothing.“
'He has to find out himself...', he thought.
Gero didn't ask any further questions.
He was deeply worried about his best friend, so he put on his shoose and jacket and ran after him.
When he looked around, though, he was nowhere to be found.
It was only noon, the sun, despite it being autumn and cloudy, was still shining.
He couldn't have gone that far... Right?
As Gero took another look further away from their appartment building, he saw Meychan sitting on a bench in an alley.
He looked surprisingly calm for once.
Usually, he was upbeat and always loud, running out and about, but now-
He was just quiet.
Sitting there.
Gero decided to approach him.
"Meychan...? Are you okay? You ran away suddenly..."
He didn't answer.
Gero decided to just quietly sit down beside him.
What worried him was that he was still quiet, even after quite some time of sitting.
It made him feel like there was something bigger to it, a problem building.
"Okay, listen... If you're not gonna tell me, then I'm just gonna talk for a while, okay? I thought about it for a while... And Kony said something like that, too... You probably know what I mean, right? I do love you, I told you. And you told me too. But... I think... Maybe... We don't mean the same kind of love. As said, I thought about it for a bit. I love cuddling with you. I love holding hands with you. I love holding or staring at you while you sleep. I love giving you kisses or receiving them from you. And I love telling you what I love about you. And that I love you. I love all that. I truly do."
That made Meychan turn his head in his direction, a slightly shocked expression on his face.
He wanted to reply badly, tell him that he was worried about it, as well.
Worried about their relationship, about their uncertainty regarding their status.
"Listen, Gero-“
He began, but he soon realised that he did not think it through.
He was not prepared.
"Right now, I really don‘t know what to respond to that. I- I enjoy it too. Really, I enjoy all of those things, and I don‘t want it to stop. But I don‘t want to say things I will regret later.“
Then, he stood up, the scarf he had been holding in his hands wrapping around his neck, pushing his glasses up.
"I feel like I need to think it all through.“
"You- A-Alright, please take your time. But remember that I'm always here for you, okay? And Kony too. See me as your best friend, I'll always be by your side and help and support you!"
"... Thanks."
It wasn‘t that he was mad at Gero.
He wasn‘t.
But he could not explain why he was feeling so irritated and sad.
Unusually sad.
Gero expected him to go back home, but when he saw him go further into the town, he decided to let him be.
After all, he did not want to pressure the younger.
Still, he was wondering what made him feel this way.
And what made feel him himself that way.
Gero was feeling like someone stabbed into his heart.
And that someone was Meychan.
It seemed like he completely ignored what he said.
The elder feared that nothing would be like it was anymore.
He headed home, pain still lingering in his heart.
……………………………………………………
When Gero looked up from the screen of his computer, he could see that it was already dark outside.
He had heard Meychan come home earlier, but did not bother going up to him, in fear of angering him.
Though, when, after some time, he heard the door open and close again, he looked at the time.
Roughly three in the morning.
With an almost unnoticeable sigh, he decided to let it slide, as he already figured who it was, and went to bed and, despite his worries, tried to sleep.
..............…………………
The following days, he had barely spoken to the younger, only one video filming forcing them to, awkwardly, interact with each other.
Gero had heard the sound of their apartment‘s door every night for the past few days, always at around the same time.
Nighttime.
Always, without a doubt.
Each day, his worries worsened.
And, even then, as he was lying in bed, almost asleep, he never failed to hear the door‘s noises.
Every night Meychan was leaving the house, silently crying to himself, overwhelmed by everything that was happening.
He couldn't clear his thoughts out.
He just couldn't.
Every night he would return home even sadder than the night before, because he still couldn't figure out what to tell Gero.
What was he feeling?
What was he thinking?
He didn't have an answer to any of those questions.
He barely left his room when anyone was near to confront him, so he figured it would be best to do so at night.
Sure, it was cold outside.
Freezing almost.
But he didn‘t mind.
He just wanted an answer, a solution on what to do now.
If he would achieve his goal by thinking about it every night in the freezing cold, he wouldn‘t mind his freezing hands and flushed face.
Although, he was never sure whether it was the cold making his face flushed, or if it was because of his tears that his skin would react.
But if he was to be honest-
He probably didn't even think about anything yet.
Because he didn't want to.
He didn't want to have possible consequences in front of his eyes.
He wished everything would just stay the same way it always was.
But he knew he had to give Gero an answer, and he swore to himself that tonight, finally, he would tell him.
If he told him, he would not have to sit in the cold anymore.
Maybe,
Just maybe,
Gero would let him hold his hand.
He missed the warmth of it.
Recently, he barely felt warm.
It hurt him.
It frustrated him.
What he wanted was to feel warm and secure again.
Just like he did when being near Gero.
The thought of it made him happy,
yet he was crying bitterly each time he did think about it.
Though, again, the light in his room was on, and he was feeling like crying again as he got dressed, the clock on his wall reading 2:47 in the morning.
He did not care.
Just put on a knitted turtleneck sweater, his usual coat and scarf.
His glasses could not be forgotten,
though he was sure his tears would blur his vision anyway, whether he wore them or not.
Still, he put them on, and got ready to leave his room.
As he left the house and sat on his usual bench, he seriously thought about what to tell his best friend.
Or, is he even still his best friend?
If he thought about Gero as a besg friend, his chest tied up and he could barely breath.
The pain was unbearable.
He knew know.
He knew that even best friends don't cuddle or hold hands like that.
But he still enjoyed it.
That means...
... That he has some other feelings for Gero.
But how could he possibly tell him that?
He did say something about loving him a week ago...
But did he really mean it?
His worries got the best of him.
He felt everything bubble up inside of him, until it had to be let out.
As he cried, barely making any noise, he felt like vomiting.
Whether it was the sadness, the lack of sleep, or the cold,
The cold outside and inside,
He knew that he had to do something.
All of a sudden, he no longer felt like being outside, and as he stood up, he thought his eyes were deceiving him when he saw someone leave the building where his apartment was.
It was as if his tears were unable to be stopped.
"Gero... Gero...!"
He had to see him.
He couldn't bear any minute longer without him.
He was finally going crazy.
He ran to their apartment, rushing up the stairs, throwing open the doors.
"Where is he!?"
"Gero just left.", Kony answered nonchalantly.
Meychan immediately rushed outside again, forgetting the freezing cold for a moment.
'So it was him I saw earlier...!'
The first place he thought of was where he always went to.
The bench.
His eyes immediately wandered towards it, but noone was there.
He, though he barely stopped, felt like crying again.
For him, it already had been too much.
Though, as he approached the bench, he could see someone walking along the path that it was set on.
"Gero..."
He slowly approached the person, hoping it was him.
As he got nearer, he saw that soft, black hair he loved more than anything.
"Gero...!"
He turned around, surprise written on his features.
"Meychan... I-"
He was about to say something but gulped it down, knowing fully well that he just shouldn't say anything to the younger.
"I'm sorry, this is your bench. I'm going home-"
"No! I was searching for you! I-I need to talk to you..."
"Is that so?“
He felt like that was the only thing he could say to him at the moment.
It made Meychan at a loss of words.
Seeing him after this week made him, surprisingly, even sadder.
After having thought about him every night without fail, standing in front of him brought back the bitter thoughts from the past nights.
His eyes, and face, already began burning from the tears he had shed not too long ago, but that did not seem to stop him from crying again.
The tears were flowing.
Though he was sad, he was happy to see and talk to Gero again, but the elder didn't seem to care about him anymore.
It broke his heart and all his courage and determination to talk to him about everything was crushed with just one sentence.
"Wh-What- Yes, I need to talk to you!"
Meychan was sobbing through his talking, his shaky inhales clearly noticeable.
He, through his constant blurry vision, swore he could see Gero in shock and get up quickly, walking towards him.
As Meychan tried wiping his tears from under his glasses, using his sleeves as aid, he saw Gero in front of him, his hands already at each of his shoulders, a panicked look on his face.
He would have thought that it would calm Meychan down to see him show any emotion towards him, but he kept on crying,
No longer silenty and secretly,
But with evident emotion, finally not having to hide the sounds anymore.
"So, let me talk- to you!“
"... Okay. I'll listen."
He didn't tell him to stop crying.
He should let all his emotions flow if that made him feel better.
"I- I actually thought about it. About every- Hng- Everything, okay!? This one week? These seven days I barely got to see you? These were the hardest days of my entire life. I missed you so much, I couldn't bear it anymore. One second longer and I would've gone crazy. My heart hurt like hell just thinking about you. I missed your warmth, your comfort, your company. My hands have been cold since that day, and so was my heart. I realized that I need you by my side, no matter what happens. But I also realized that these feelings aren't normal. Like, you don't have such feelings for just any person, or for a friend. Not even for a best friend. You noticed too, right? But that also means that my feelings for you exceed those for friends. What I want to say- The most important thing I realized is that I love you, Gero. Not just as a friend or best friend, but more than that. I really, truly love you. I can't imagine myself without you anymore. That's all I wanted to say..."
After his talking, Gero looked at him.
He did not have to just think one second to reply to him,
He just wanted to make sure Meychan was done talking.
He did not want to interrupt him while he was crying, pouring out his heart in front of him.
While he had been talking, Gero‘s thumbs had lightly rubbed Meychan‘s shoulders, and when he guided his own hands towards the younger‘s, grasping them, he felt how truly cold they were.
As if he‘d been outside for a long time.
They were trembling, too.
Just like his whole body, he just noticed.
Every time the younger sobbed, he could not only hear it, but also see his body heavily shake a single time.
It broke his heart.
For now, he decided it would be sufficient to just hold his hands.
It pained him to feel how cold they were.
He wanted to warm them up again.
And he wanted to be the only one who did so.
"I noticed. Friends don‘t do things like that, and honestly, I don‘t mind. The things we do, I don‘t want to stop doing them.“
He paused a moment to take in his face again.
For what reason?
He had none.
He just wanted to see his face, how his tears ran down his cheeks.
As much as he hated to do so, his hand left the younger‘s for a moment to wipe his tears again.
His cheeks were warm, but he knew it wasn‘t a comfortable, or positive warmth.
Immediately, he held Meychan‘s hand again.
"If that means us becoming a couple, then let‘s do it. Please. I want to, okay? Really...“
Those words took painfully long to be said, and he was surprised, that, at the end...
"I really, really love you. A lot.“
... The younger‘s hands were just a slight bit warmer than before.
"Honestly, I don't want to overwhelm you, but I love you so much, I can't stop saying it. I want to warm you again, too. You don't know how worried I was this past week. Everytime you left the house at 3am, I worried my ass off, thinking about your well-being. It was freezing but you still went outside. All I wanted was to take a scarf, a hat and run after you so you wouldn't catch a cold. I was so worried and I fucking missed you so much. Every minute, every hour, every second, every day- It was like hell for me, seriously. I couldn't sit still anymore so I took a walk here, hoping to meet you. I wanted to talk to you for days now but I knew that you needed time for yourself and to think and- God, I dort know what to say anymore. Meychan, I really love you, so, please- However you decide, please don't do this to yourself anymore."
As Gero finished telling the younger his feelings, tears started to flow down his cheeks, too.
Gero could feel Meychan‘s hands move, held by his own, one breaking itself free from his gasp.
His eyes weren‘t closed.
Rather than that, they were focused on the younger‘s downward gaze as he moved his hand towards Gero‘s cheek, his sleeves gently grazing the skin where tears flowed down, catching them before they could go any further.
All the while, his own cheeks were being caressed by his own tears, and attacked by the stinging, cold night air, the combination clashing with the heat of his skin, creating a pleasant, cooling feeling, despite the negative cause of the heat.
It seemed as if both had lost the strength to speak, though that was not the case.
They just had to adjust to this, is all.
Gero‘s eyes never left Meychan‘s face,
that‘s why he noticed his formerly cast downwards gaze move upwards, meeting the elder‘s eyes.
He could see the younger‘s eyes flicker,
but the slowly noticeable lack of trembling in Meychan‘s hands made gero sure of one thing.
The younger was beginning to feel safer.
One last time,
For the entire night,
He cried.
It was almost pitying how Meychan broke down in front of Gero, so much that the elder had to guide him towards the bench so he could sit down.
He had cried multiple times on this very bench, so doing it again wasn‘t a big deal for him.
His sobbing was worse than before, so sudden that it scared Gero.
It was as if he was letting all of his emotions out for the very last time.
The countless emotions that he had gathered over the past week,
He was now finally letting go of.
"I- Haha, isn't it funny somehow? This whole situation. You know what? We should've just listened to Kony from the beginning."
"Yeah, he told us something was off, haha..."
The two continued to sit on the bench, shed their last tears together and held hands through the night.
……………………………………………………
Ever so quiet, they closed the door to their apartment.
For god-knows-how-long, they have been sitting outside, and they were freezing.
In the hallway, in front of their respective rooms, they stood, looking at each other.
Though resembling each other in no way whatsoever physically, their red cheeks, nose, and ears, as well as hands, matched.
Their eyes were puffy.
The excessive lip-biting from overthinking, hesitating and trying to keep down his sobs had causes Meychan‘s lips to appear swollen and red, too.
Though, now, there was seemingly no reason for any of that anymore.
"I guess this is good night then?“
With a small laugh, Gero looked at Meychan from the entrance of his own room.
Though he was taller, the younger appeared so incredibly small in front of him.
"Uhm... Yeah, haha... Uhm... May I ask a favor?"
"You don't have to be so formal.", Gero smiled at him, "I know you're insecure, but... We're going out now, right?"
"... Yeah.", Meychan smiled back.
"So, I wanted to ask... Can I... Sleep with you...? I-I mean in the same bed!"
"Yes, of course.", the elder grinned slightly.
He took Meychan's hand and guided him into his room.
"And don't be nervous, okay? It's not the first time we do that."
"I know, but this is different..."
"Because you didn't love me before?"
"I did! I just didn't realize...
I just feel like- like crying when I‘m near you, to be honest, is all.“
His behavior was way too unsual for Meychan.
His normal, confident, joyful gazes were exchanged with hesitant, flickering, avoiding ones.
"Because we are a couple now.“
The only sign he gave Gero, signaling him that he was indeed okay, was him squeezing his hand lightly.
Gero took note of one specific thing.
His hand was even warmer than before.
Even when they were getting into bed, that one small amount of time, Gero missed his hand.
He was desperate to further warm it,
because if someone‘s hands were warm, everything would warm up eventually.
"I see. If you're really fine, then I'm glad."
He lifted his covers and gestured Meychan to lay down on his side of the bed and got in himself right after.
"Okay, let's sleep, it's been a tough day."
"We have to tell Kony tomorrow..."
"Yes... Should I do that in the morning while you're still asleep?"
"No, we'll do it together. It concers both of us, doesn't it? Also... I want to do everything together with you. I don't ever want to leave your side again. So, please- Stay by my side, too."
He sighed.
Not because he was annoyed, but because he was relieved.
When Meychan felt arms wrap themselves around him, with two hands clasping his own, he relaxed.
Gero could feel his body tremble still, the cold radiating from the both of them.
He hoped it was indeed the cold that made Meychan shiver.
The elder felt the brunette scoot closer to him, his back meeting his chest.
Just like last week, it was Gero who was engulfing Meychan in a comforting, secure hug.
He pressed his forehead against his shoulder, his thumbs running over the back of the younger‘s hands, not too much time passing before the two‘s fingers intertwined.
Occasionally, he could still hear a quiet, short sob from the younger, the aftereffects of his prior breakdown,
which only resulted in Gero pulling him closer to himself with every unsettling noise.
Eventually, he heard the quiet sounds stop and was left with an even breathing from the younger.
'He fell asleep...'
Gero realized how tired he himself has been all this time and fell asleep too, listening to Meychan's breathing and still running his thumbs over the back of his hands.
……………………………………………………
When he woke up, it was almost like last week.
This time, though, Meychan had returned the hug, facing him while sleeping, his messy, disheveled hair almost covering his eyes.
Unexpectedly, his head was resting against Gero‘s chest.
The younger would die of shame if he had told Gero that listening to his calm heartbeat helped him fall asleep after he woke up again, panicking suddenly.
"Ngh... Ah- Good morning Meychan..."
"Good morning babe."
"... What did you just-"
"O-Oh, I thought- Because we're-"
He sensed the younger‘s change in behaviour again, and cut him off.
With a smile, while brushing the hair from his face.
"It‘s fine.“
Quickly, he looked at him, nodding gently.
"Anyways, I'll go make breakfast! What do you want to eat?"
"Let me help you-"
"Absolutely not. You're going to stay in bed Mister. Until Kony comes home."
"Alright... I'd like pancakes, please."
The smile on Meychan‘s face warmed Gero‘s heart.
He also noticed Meychan‘s hands in his own.
They were radiating heat.
In a span of a few hours, he finally managed to warm him again, just as warm as he had been last week.
When he went to let go of Meychan‘s hand, he noticed how reluctant the younger was to let him go.
With uncertainty, the brunette looked at him.
"Actually... Breakfast isn‘t that important. I don‘t need breakfast, really...?“
Gero felt Meychan‘s hands grasping his again.
Again, he felt their warmth.
It was comforting.
"I know I should act responsible now and tell you hoe important breakfast is, but..."
He looked at their intertwined hands again and squeezed his tightly.
"... I don't want to go, either."
"So you'll stay?"
Meychan looked at Gero with pleading puppy eyes, which Gero just couldn't resist.
"Yeah.“
After his response, Meychan instantly scooted closer towards Gero again, though being taller lying in a way that the elder‘s chest was next to his head.
He was the first to hug Gero now, his seemingly stronger grip around him only getting tighter by the minute.
Every doubt washed away, he now thought about how he was able to hug the elder without regrets.
He looked at his hands, the hands that he could hold from now on.
Without any doubt, without feeling like crying.
"I love you, Gero."
"I love you too, Meychan."
And so they lay there, enjoying and savoring every moment they spent together.
Extended Ending:
"Didn‘t I fucking tell you“
Kony was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, looking at the two.
"Yes, we're sorry..."
"So you two finally made up?"
"Yes."
The two love-birds smiled lovingly at each other as they nodded.
"... Then I'm relieved. You know, it was really hard watching you struggle. I watched you two go through approximately five breakdowns each for the past week. if one of you messes this up, i will single-handedly carry my entire belongings out of this apartment. got it?“
"G-Got it!!"
_________________________________________
Hahahaha I'm finally done with editing this one
Oh boy, 7000 words are tough
Written again by weelilly and myself!
Hope you enjoyed!!