A/N: So a guy in Wranglers, yes or no?
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VIII. Those Wranglers On Him Be Like...
REBEKAH
When I glance up at Nate as he walks away towards the bar, I watch him saunter with his head held low in shame. I should probably be happy about that, but I'm not. In this moment, I wish I could look at him with disgust but I don't. Instead I find myself checking him out. My eyes automatically go to his ass in those Wranglers.
God he looks so damn good. Nate Daniels has always had the perfect ass for Wranglers. I bite down on my bottom lip with satisfaction and I am quickly brought back to reality when my dad clears his throat.
"Are you okay now?" he grins down at me with amusement as I roll my eyes with an annoyed huff.
"Yes Dad I'm fine," I pout and turn towards the street. The people who were walking up and down the street have finally moved on since my little tantrum is over. God why do I constantly make myself look like a fool? Especially when it comes to that particular man with his stupid brown locks, chocolate brown eyes, and drool worthy ass. For fucks sakes, ten years later and he can still make me melt in my own thoughts.
"Good, I want to apologize baby girl. I shouldn't have made light of your painful situation. I know he hurt you back then and not everyone heals at the same pace. I get that it will take some time but can I say something?" he motions for me to sit on a bench under a street tree close to us. I object for a second, wanting to mope some more but I finally give in. Sitting on the bench, I lean back against it, taking in the summer breeze as my dad sits down and lays his arm on the back rest behind me.
"Baby girl, you've got to give Nate a chance. He's not the same boy he was ten years ago. Over the years, he's turned into a fine young man," my dad begins his attempt to persuade me as he boast about the boy who broke my heart. He sounds like a dad bragging about his son and it irritates me as I cross my arms over my chest, biting my inner cheek.
"I don't care Dad, I'm still angry with him. You only know half of what he did—," I spit in irritation because it's true though. I only showed my dad Nate's letter, I never told him about what else happened. I'm about to carry on with my rant about how he doesn't know anything when he quickly cuts me off.
"Oh you mean the part about how you guys slept together the night of his graduation?" he looks at me knowingly as I'm taken aback with my mouth agape. He knows? How? He smirks at my confusion, letting out a small chuckle.
"Yes I already know about that. Nate had told me four years ago when he came back from his time in the Army. But I'd already known. I'm not stupid Bex, I knew something happened between you two that night and it wasn't just his confession. I've known that boy was in love with you long before he finally admitted it. I'm sure everyone did, everyone but you. Over the years since he's been back he's came forward about a lot of things darling and I think you should listen to what he has to say. Nate's trying and has worked his ass off since he's been back, having a lot to show for it. He's a damn good man, my best deputy which earned him the title of chief, and better yet, he's a damn good father to his little boy," he smiles down at my shocked expression. Holy shit! Nate's a father? Since when?
I know it's been years since I last heard anything about Nate. It was back when I had just started college and my dad brought up his name to tell me about something regarding him but I quickly had cut him off, changing the subject. After that, he never brought up his name again. Then the last five years I didn't speak to anyone, not even my dad. I wasn't allowed to.
"Oh yeah, I guess I should've mentioned that sooner. Nate has a seven year old boy. Quite the kid. He's a fun little guy," he chuckles to himself. I see a glint of pride in his eyes that brings me conflicted feelings. I don't know whether to be happy about this news or not. I think back to six months ago and immediately feel heartache.
"Oh, that's great, I guess," I'm unsure of how to answer. If he has a child, does that mean he's with the mother? Is he married? I don't remember seeing a ring on his finger.
"Yeah it is. He's been raising that boy all on his own the last four years since the mother isn't in the picture anymore. That girl was something else, I tell you. I never would've imagined Nate ending up with a girl like that," my dad shakes his head as he thinks about the mother of Nate's son. I can't help the small smile on my face. So he's single?
I shake my head at the thought. What am I doing? Why am I wanting Nate Daniels to be available? It's not like I'm really available right now. At least not mentally. I'm still trying to recover over my last relationship that finally came to an end six months ago after almost five long years. As I think about that relationship, I begin to shiver. Putting it in the back of my mind, I adjust my attention on something else, anything else.
I pull my phone from my pocket, noticing what time it is and I should really get back to work. The bar is about to get packed in a couple hours from the people just getting off work, needing a cool beer to drown out the hectic work day.
"I should get back inside Daddy. Grandma will need the extra hands soon. Susie had to call in today because little Jimmy had a fever," I smile at my dad and lean over to give him a quick peck on the cheek.
"That fine baby girl. I hope it's not too serious with the little guy. With big Jimmy working further up north, I'm sure it's tough for Susie dealing with the little one on her own," he frowns and I understand his worry. We both remembers the times when I was younger and he worked a lot of hours at the station as Chief, leaving Mom and I alone at home a lot of the times.
When we walk into the bar, I expect to see Nate but he's nowhere in sight. I sigh in relief but a small part of me wishes he was still here. The counter at the bar is full now and Grandma is busy going back and forth collecting drink orders.
Not wanting her to get overwhelmed, I quickly walk behind the counter and get started. I'd done bartending gigs back in California and got use to the busy side of keeping up with the tabs and drinks. What would take my grandma two minutes to do, I do in thirty seconds. She watches me with awe and puts an arm around me, giving me a tight squeeze.
Grandma use to be fast at this but now that she's having to run both the bar and the restaurant part of the business, she's tired easily. When Papa was still alive, she had help. They'd go back and forth between barkeep and cook if needed. Papa could grill a steak to perfection and he made amazing home-made ice cream that was the rave of the town. I glance up at his picture on the wall behind the bar. God I miss him so much.
Next to that are more pictures of him and Grandma. There's even a picture of my mom and me sitting on the stage playing the guitar. I was maybe eight years old at that time. That was when she was practicing with me after she taught me how to play the guitar. It was one of the many things we did together that helped mold the unbreakable bond we had. The bond we had until the very end.
I catch my dad looking at a picture of the three of us. It was right before she got sick. He smiles at it and raises his hand to run his finger across Moms face. I know he misses her deeply. Why wouldn't he? She was the love of his life, his everything.
"Oh Mike, Nate asked me to tell you he decided to walk back to the Sheriff station. He didn't want to be a burden," my Grandma explains and quickly looks at me. I know it's because of me why he left and I find myself appreciating that. He's doing what I asked and giving me my space.
I go back to my work, making my way around the tables and booths to be sure everything's ready to go as a large group of people make it through the entrance doors. Here comes the early dinner rush.
For the rest of the night, I'm kept busy and don't have time to think about Nate. I don't have time to think about whether I should forgive him or not. By last call, I'm exhausted and ready to call it a night. I help Grandma close up shop and head home, nearing 2:30am. When we get home, dad is passed out on the couch with the television still on. Apparently he always tries to stay up as long as he can for Grandma but I guess he couldn't make it tonight. Usually Grandma doesn't close, letting either Susie or our second cook, Ken do the job for her.
I quietly turn off the television and lay an Afghan blanket over him, looking so peaceful as he sleeps. Leaning over I softly kiss his forehead and make my way upstairs to get ready for bed.
Inside the shower, I think about what all happened today on my first day back home. A lot of reunions that brought back old memories of a time I greatly missed. Things have changed a lot here in Clinton Hills and I've missed out on a lot in the last eight years since I left. When I climb into bed and close my eyes, I think about one reunion in particular. Should I take my dad's advice and forgive Nate? I'm still desperately in love with him and I'm sure that's why it hurts so much to think about forgiving him after what he did. For some reason a passage about forgiveness from the Bible pops into my head and I hadn't been to church in years. Not since I left for California.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another
As I fall asleep I think of warm brown eyes, curly brown hair, and strong arms wrapped around me in comfort. His hands gently caress my face as he leans in for a passionate kiss. Suddenly he stops kissing me and his hand is around my throat tightly, choking the life from me. The gentle brown eyes turn black and cold. His curly brown hair turns short and spiked in an unruly way. He's no longer the man I once loved but the man I feared most in the world. I can feel my life slipping away as his hold tightens around my neck.
"You're mine now Bekah, all mine," he sneers, his accent on thick. His tongue darts out of his mouth like the venomous snake he is.
I shoot up out of bed suddenly in a cold sweat. I hadn't had a dream like that since the night I decided to finally pack up what would fit in my duffel bag and leave my old apartment a week ago.
While laying in bed staring at the ceiling and begging my heart to slow down, I pray to God to give me peace and grant me the sweet dreams I had once before. I know one thing for certain. No matter how difficult it might be to forgive Nathan Daniels, no matter how I try to justify the pain in my heart for him. The pain will never compare to what that snake of a man did to me.