Chapter title from the song Pork Soda by Glass Animals. I never post what the titles are from but i thought this one was a lil weird and needed explaining lol
Emma sits in the dark room, only moonlight showing through the small windows. Her head leans back against the padding. The only noise in the room is the sound of her breathing followed by Romans. His breath seems to mimic every one of hers, mocking the hitch of panic she can't seem to clear. For the first time, Emma is fully aware that she is dreaming.
With full autonomy, she takes a moment to look around beyond the bounds she had recently been constricted to. The room is as she remembered it, dark and eery. Upon further investigation, she finds that it's not actually empty. There's a thin cardboard box, the kind you ship things in, in the corner. It's still taped up.
Emma wants to stand to open it, but she's too scared to disturb the silence. She looks at Roman is still sitting across from her, he looks sadder than she remembers, knees drawn to his chest. Emma opens her mouth to see if she can speak but only a small croak comes out. Roman stands and the world shakes like it's encased in gelatin.
"Where are you?" He asks, coming closer. She's stunned, she can't remember him speaking in her other dreams.
"I don't know," her voice says without her mind approving it.
"No, if you open your eyes, where would you be?"
"In my room." He's right in front of her now, looking massive.
"Open your eyes."
"I can't," she looks up and shakes her head. He kneels down.
"Open your eyes."
"I can't!"
"Shut up!" He's shouting in her face now and she turns away. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" He keeps shouting and shouting until his voice is no longer his own. She looks back and him, the voice yells but Roman's mouth doesn't move.
She blinks and is in her bedroom again. Emma struggles but can't move, paralyzed under the weight of the blankets. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. She closes her eyes but immediately reopens them. She sees it. There's something in the corner of her room. It moves too quickly for her to see. There's a low growl. It's a dream. Go back to sleep.
It's daylight, blinding and hot. It's summer again. Laying in the grass, she can't see herself, but somehow she knows she's young- a child again. She looks down at her outfit, she remembers it. I'm 9 she thinks. I'm 9. A pair of small hands clap in front of her face.
"Earth to Emma!" She recognizes Roman's pre-pubescent voice and can't help but laugh, it's so much higher than she remembers. She puts her hand in front of her eyes to block the sun. Roman bends over to look at her. His hair is blonder and one tooth is only half grown in. "Come on, we've only got a few hours before it gets dark out."
"My mom doesn't want us going that far." She doesn't know how she knows this, but she does.
"Good thing you're mom's not here," he mocks her. "Come on, don't be a baby. Are you always going to do what your mom says?"
"Yes," she says proudly. The words move on their own.
"Well, my mom doesn't care and your mom left you with us. So..."
"Fine," she sits up. Roman holds out a hand and helps her up. She'd forgotten how short he used to be, at least two inches shorter than her. "Let's go," she says, grabbing her backpack. Her legs move on their own towards the garage where their bikes are. Neither wear a helmet as they take off down the long driveway.
She remembers this, it must have happened. It feels too real to just be a dream. Roman's short legs struggle to keep up with her as they fly through the curvy roads. They take a sharp turn off onto a dirt path through the woods. He catches up with her. They ride their bikes all the way up to the rusted fence before climbing it.
"Why do you like coming here so much?" Emma kicks a rock at the dark old building.
"It reminds me of my dad." Roman maneuvers his way through the slightly ajar door and into the old steel mill. In just a matter of years, the door will be kicked in my older teens, and red solo cups will litter the floor.
Emma doesn't understand why such a dirty and gross old building would remind Roman of his dad, but she let him have it. She follows him in and looks around. She digs into her backpack for her flashlight, turning it on. "Do you think it's haunted?"
"Oh yeah," Roman grins. "Conway told me his brother knew a guy who fell into a pit of lava."
"Lava is in volcanoes stupid," she snickers at him.
"Okay, well whatever, nerd. He fell into something and died."
"I don't like it, can we go?"
"Aw, are you scared?" He turns the teasing around. "You're such a girl!"
"Am not!" She flashes her light at him. "I'm not scared, it's just..." She turns back around, the light shines on something that catches her eye.
"Just what?" He asks. "Girls are always scared of stuff." Emma ignores his comment and moves toward the wall. The conscious part of her mind recognizes the shape. It's the same one Peter and Roman were always drawing on things, the snake eating itself, the ouroboros. She traces it with her finger and looks closer. Something is written along the curve of the snake.
where all things are made right
where there is salvation for all
where there is unity
where there is Trinity
where there is real truth
where there is divine virtue
"You did this," she hears Roman approaching behind her. "It's your fault." She turns to see Roman, but older, older than he is in real life. Only by a few years.
"What?" As he comes closer she realizes she's older too.
"Let's go," he waves her along and she doesn't have any choice but to follow. They walk and walk through the field behind the mill but they don't seem to get anywhere, never moving forward.
Until they do.
They approach the pool behind the mansion, it comes from nowhere. She walks until they next to each other looking over the water. Feeling bold, she looks up to him. He looks back down at her before grabbing her wrist and dragging her to the bottom of the pool with him. She fights him but he's much stronger than she is. Looking up for some last glimpse of light, she sees a figure looking down at them from outside the pool.
She closes her eyes and allows the water to fill her lungs.
Coughing up water, she's on the floor of a bathroom she doesn't know. No- not water, it's clear stomach bile. She doesn't stop until her throat is tender and dry. She stands and goes to the sink for water. Looking at herself, she looks tired and sad. Her hair is longer and darker.
She doesn't know where she is, but somehow she does. She moves from the bathroom to the hallway and a bedroom. She's looking for something but she can't find it. She digs through drawers of plain white tee shirts and socks, but nothing. She digs and digs until she's at the bottom of the drawer. Then, she claws at the wood until her fingers are bleeding.
"Oh dear," a voice calls out. She's heard it before but can't quite place it. "We need to get this cleaned up." She's pulled to the door. Instead of the hallway, on the other side is a bright white hospital.
She follows a scrubbed man into an operating room where nurses and other doctors block her view of the table. Emma stands on her toes but still can't see a single thing. One of the doctors turns to her and warns, "You don't want to see."
"Yes I do," she tells him. "Let me see." A nurse turns around to come grab, opening up a small sliver for her view. She can only see what appears to be a pile of discarded flesh and some sort of movement below it. "What is it?" She asks the nurse that has grabbed her arms. "What is it?"
"It's not for you," the nurse tells her, pulling her out of the room.
"What is it?" She cries this time. "What is it?"
"It's," the nurse pulls at her arm roughly, "not for you, Miss."
The nurse keeps a tight hold on her and pulls her through the hospital hallways, Peter sits on a bench and doesn't look up when she calls for him. "It's not for you," the nurse repeats. She pulls her into another room, turning the lights on.
"Who is it for?" She asks the nurse, allowing her to undo her hospital gown. The nurse says something too quiet for her to hear. "Please."
She jerks up, covered in sweat, hair sticking to her forward. She glances around the dark room before rushing to the bathroom to vomit the entire contents of her stomach. Possibly even some of her stomach lining. "Fuck," she groans. "What the fuck." Another wave of nausea hits her.
Emma sits, back to the cold tile wall of her bathroom. Something's not right. Even awake, somethings not right. Everything is moving, everything is breathing. She swallows tears. It's just a dream. You're asleep.
She crawls forward, throwing up one last time until she can only gag up air and tears. She can hear a commotion coming from her bedroom on the other side of the door. She's petrified that someone's broken in. All she can think is that there's a murderer on the other side of the door.
Building up the courage, she stands quietly and peaks out the door. It's just herself sitting on the bed. No one else is there. She meets her own eyes once the door is open all the way. They're vacant. "You must be freezing," she says from the bed. Emma nods and comes out. It's so cold in the house.
"Are you okay? You look upset," she says as she approaches her on the bed. Emma doesn't know what to say to herself. "Is it about earlier? I'm not really mad. Just frustrated." She stands still. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Emma feels like she's intruding on something. "What's going on?"
Emma wants to answer, to tell herself she's dreaming and to go back to sleep. That the girl on the bed isn't real. But maybe she is the real Emma. It's too much.
"Stop," Emma tells herself, but she won't listen. "Stop it."
"Stop it. Roman, stop, you're hurting me. You're being an asshole," the girl on the bed says in a monotone voice to no one.
"Stop it!" Emma approaches herself and yells. "Stop it!" Emma on the finally seems to see her.
"No," she giggles. "No."
Emma shoots up from her spot on the bathroom floor and vomits once more. "Please stop," she begs her mind. "Please stop, I'm awake" she repeats until she falls back down into a dreamless sleep.
A/N thanks for reading guys!!! As always, comments criticism, and questions are welcome and appreciated!