I was surprised by how emotional I got in the inside when Ash, Mikey, and Luke left the next afternoon. Even though they'd only been here for two weeks, and they could be very annoying, they'd kind of become.. my homies. I didn't usually have friends, so it was a whole new experience.
Standing outside on the porch, we said our goodbyes. They had all their bags piled into the trunk of Ashton's car, and they were just leaving. I gave a huge hug to Mikey. "You are the most annoying person I've ever met." I commented with a small laugh.
Calum looked over at me as if he was offended. "I thought I was the most annoying." He said it like I'd deeply insulted his very soul.
"Sorry, you're right. Sorry Mikey. Second most annoying. Make sure to text me." I punched him lightly in the stomach before adding; "And be a good boy. None of that perverted stuff."
He just laughed and gave me another quick hug. "Sure, Raven."
I moved on to Luke. I simply gave him a hug. "Don't get torn apart by rabid fans, bro." I said as I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Thanks for the well-wishes." He said before squeezing me and releasing me.
I moved along to Ashton. Before I could give him a hug, he envolped me in his arms quickly. It wasn't any sort of romantic, but it was like a big brother embrace. "You are my honorary little sister." He smiled.
"Just what I always wanted." I winked. In all seriousness though, he truly was like an older brother now. Funny how close I'd gotten to these boys in the course of a few weeks.
I walked back into the house, and back into my sanctuary, so that they could say their goodbyes to Calum in privacy. I hopped onto my bed and unlocked my phone. I began to look through the pictures we'd taken while they were visiting, so I could Instagram the fun times.
About fifteen minutes later, Calum walked into my room and sat next to me. "Can we talk?" He inquired.
"Of course." I clicked my phone screen off, and gently tossed it onto my pillows. "Whatcha ya need?"
"Well..... I have to be honest about something to you. Ever since I came back, I've been trying to stop myself from having the biggest crush of all time on you. I know it's stupid. I feel like a moron of a little dipshit, because I know that its so stupid to crush on people. But I like you. I know its stupid.. But for example, when you and Ashton were flirting, it made me jealous. And you're probably wondering why I said it so suddenly... Well... The boys.. They made me. They knew I liked you, and they wouldn't let me get away with being a pussy and not telling you."
I blinked, and thought carefully before continuing. I wasn't surprised, I mean... Well I was but at the same time, it was kind of shocking. I mean.. He could be my step-brother. But... I liked him too. I definitely hadn't always. But something had changed about him in the last two years. He was just so... Likeable. "I.. I like you too, Calum."
His face lit up, but I wasn't finished yet. "But despite that, we'll... we'll NEVER work out. Our parents are in love. We.. We could never work."
He nodded slowly. "I get where you are coming from, Rave. If you don't want to.. have that with me, I won't try to make you. But... I really like you. And if you like me, no one can stop us but ourselves."
I laughed, and looked at my toes. I knew it was crazy. I knew it wouldn't work. But something inside me just said; 'TRY!'. Before I could respond yes or no, I had to ask; "If you like me, why are you always picking fights over the smallest things? Please don't tell me that you think that's your cute, endearing version of flirting."
He blushed. That was the first time I'd really seen him be awkward. "Because. If we're alone, or if you looked good that day, I had to do something to distract myself from how much I wanted you. Arguing with you, getting into fights, convincing myself you were wrong and stupid... Not a turn on. It sort of balanced out how much I like you, made it easier to forget that I had any feelings whatsoever for you.
"That is the sappiest thing I've ever heard." I stared at my feet and began to point my toes, pressing my lips together.
"I know... I'm sorry about that." He laughed, slapping himself gently.
"Like said... I like you so much, but I just.. We would end up hurting each other, and putting ourselves through so much pain for nothing."
"Raven... Taking a risk for us to be happy TOGETHER, it isn't nothing." Calum put his hand on mine, looking deeply into my eyes, trying to read my emotions.
He made a good point. "I just... I can't. I'll get hurt. You'll find someone else, and I'll be left alone." I was running out of reasons to turn him down.
"I am not your mother. I won't just abandon you." He knew I was talking about my mother instantly. Besides my dad the only other person who'd ever loved me. That boy knew me very well.
"If I trust you.... I put my happiness on risk.. And like shutting up when I'm supposed to, that isn't something that I'm particularly good at."
"I think we can agree with that. But please. If you really do like me, take a chance." He looked at me pleadingly, eyes wide.
"And I'm supposed to believe you?"
"Have I ever lied to you?"
"No." My brain told me FUCKING LUNATIC RUN FROM THIS HE'S YOUR STEPBROTHER. LIKE BETCH DO YOU NEED MENTAL HELP? HE LITERALLY LIVES IN YOUR HOUSE. But another part told me to embrace this. Because he was the only non-fictional guy I'd ever had a crush on, outside of kindergarten. And that really said something. "And yes.... I want to try this." I couldn't believe my own words. I wanted to conk myself on the damn head.
I felt his arm shift to wrap around me, and he squeezed me close to him. "I think we can both agree... Our parents don't need to know about.. this."
I nodded in absolute agreement. "Absolutely, you little bugger. They cannot know."
"So its a secret love then?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows, in an exaggerated and comical way.
"You are such a drama queen." I laughed, gently pulling away from his embrace and falling back on my bed. I rested my feet on his lap and pulled out my phone. He pulled out his too, and lean against the footboard of my bed. And for who knows how long, we sat in companionable silence, looking at our phones.