It was night time, and I was on my way to the cocktail party.
I had a pending issue for tonight, and that was to talk to Josh about what he said to me earlier today.
When I arrived, everybody was sitting and drinking in complete silence, which was odd, because they usually had a small conversation going on.
"Hey guys! Nice to see you. Can I sit here?" I pointed to the seat between Jack R. and Isaac. They both nodded. "Well, I want to toast for today. I had a blast and anything that involves food, for me is a win. It is very important for me, to be with someone who likes some of the stuff I like and today you all proved to me that there is people like that. Maybe you don't like to cook or simply you don't know, but you were willing to put that aside for me, and for that I thank you. So let's have an amazing night, and let's continue to have fun. Cheers."
We all clinked our glasses.
"Alanna, would you like to talk?"Alexander asked.
"Of course. Lets go."
He led me to a room, far from where we were and sat down on the floor. Thank God I was wearing pants and not a dress.
"I feel like we don't have enough time. We barely see each other and when we do, it's in a group date, so I have to share you with a bunch of men. That I don't like."
"I know how you feel. But I have been saying this continuously, do not let that get over your head. Forget about that. Just focus on us and the time we do spend together."
"Yeah, I know. But it is hard."
"Yes. Extremely hard, but you just have to do it. Because if you don't, you will always think about that and you will lose focus on what really matters."
"Okay, this is too depressing, give me a hug." he held me in his arms while he gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"I want to tell you something about myself. I consider myself a very respectful guy, you know? I was raised with the belief that men have to protect and take care of their loved ones, so if we end up together, know that you will be taken care of. I will work until I can't no more, I will suffer if I have to just so you could be happy." he said with a smile.
"Well thank you. But don't you think that there must be a balance? I mean you can't suffer while I'm happy."
"If that's what happens, so be it."
"But, what I mean is that, shouldn't there be compromise?"
"I mean... I don't really care. Not that I don't care what you are saying, it's just that..."
He was cut mid sentence by Brent.
"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but Alanna, would you like to come with me?"
"Yeah." I stood up and gave Alexander a kiss on his cheek. "We'll talk later."
*Back at the mansion*
"Guys, date card." Theo said. Everyone gathered in the living room. " Liam. Love is a roller coaster. Love, Alanna."
"There you have it." Shawn said. "Congrats man."
"Thanks!"
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Brent intertwined his fingers with mine and took me to a hidden little place.
"You look very pretty."
"Yeah?"
"100% You always look pretty."
"Thank you. I always blush when someone tells me that."
"Well, I'm just telling the truth." I blushed harder. "How is your finger?"
"Better. It doesn't hurt that much to be honest."
"I got scared when I saw your bloody finger."
"Yeah, me too. But I'm more of a 'not panic' kind of chick."
"So you react quickly?"
"I mean, yeah. Ever since I was a little girl, I learnt that panicking only delays you. You need to focus first and then you can be scared. That's how I was raised."
"I get it. When I was growing up, my father was a very strict person, he was one of those people who thought that men shouldn't cry, he would yell at me if I got A-, he was extremely strict. But he would always tell me to think before I act, but to act before I think. It was really confusing, because I was a little boy, but then it made sense."
"Can I ask why you talk about your dad in past tense?"
"Well, I haven't had a relationship with him since I was probably 16. To me, he never was my dad, he was just my father. I wasn't allowed to call him dad, I called him Sir. He wasn't a good roll model, or a father figure."
"Really?" he nodded. "Have yo talked to him since?"
"Not really. My mom is still married to him, so when I go home to visit them, we avoid each other. He was the best husband to my mom, but a crappy father to me."
"And do you want to fix that relationship?"
"I don't know. I haven't thought about it."
"Maybe you should. Maybe you do and realize that it was what you wanted. What you were missing."
"Sorry to interrupt." Colton said behind us. "Alanna, could we talk?"
"Of course. We'll talk later." I told Brent.
Colton gave me a big hug.
"What was that for?"
"I missed you."
"But you saw me a few hours ago."
"I know, but that's a lot of time."
"Well, I missed you too." he smiled and kissed me. "So, I wanted to thank you."
"What for?" He asked, with furrowed eyebrows.
"Being my knight in shining armor. I really appreciate you helping me and taking care of my finger."
"My pleasure. Truly. I want you to know that I will always take care of you. No matter what, no matter when or where, I will always be there to take care of you and provide you a safe place."
"Thank you."
"I mean it Alanna. I will always be there for you. I know I will probably scare you off, but I need to tell you how I feel."
"Yeah." I said to him with a big smile.
"I am falling for you. Maybe it's too early, but I've never felt like this. I feel like I need to protect you, take care of you. You are a fantastic human being. You have one of the biggest hearts and I am falling for you. I know that it is too soon, because we barely know each other, but I feel like we've known each other for years."
"I'm speechless."
"I also know that maybe you don't feel the same, so I understand."
"I also feel like we've known each other for years. We have a true and beautiful connection. And even though I'm not in the same place as you, I want you to know that I truly care and appreciate you."
Colton remained silent, but he had one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. He leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss.
"As much as I like being here with you, there is someone I need to talk to."
"Yeah, of course. Go."
As I walked alone towards the room where everyone was waiting, I replayed the short conversation I had with Josh in my head.
"Hey guys." All of them turned around. "How are you doing? Having fun?" I asked them.
"Yeah, just chillin'."Alexander answered.
"Good." I smiled at him. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Josh." I turned to him. "Could we talk?"
"Sure."
As we walked away, I could here the boys talking about me going over there.
"That looked serious."
"It sure did. Maybe it is about this morning."
"Could be."
"So..."
"I wanted to talk to you about what you said this morning."
"What about this morning?" He asked, confused.
"Well, before we started our date, you pulled me aside and you warned me about some of the guys not being who they say they are."
"Yeah."
"So my question is: who were you talking about?"
"I mean, I don't want to say names, cause I don't want to create problems."
"But I mean, if you warned me, it's because you know that something is going on, and I want to have all the information."
"I get what you are saying, but I think that's something you need to figure out by yourself."
"So you won't tell me?"
"No. Maybe another day, but you need to analyze all of your relationships and think about who you want." With that, he stood up and walked away.
"Like what the hell."
______________
After I finished talking to everyone, I joined them in the main room where all the guys were hanging out.
"Hey guys. So I want to thank you for today. I had great conversations tonight. And, with that being said, Colton." I turned to him. "Will you accept this rose?"
"Every time." I pinned the rose to his jacket and hugged him.
"I will see all of you on the rose ceremony. Have a good night."
As I was hugging everyone, my hug with Brent lasted a little more than usual. So I whispered into his ear: I appreciate what you told me and that you confided in me. Don't ever think that I take for granted our time or our conversations. Thank you.
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I have a question. I was thinking about incorporating some sex scenes into the book, would you like that? I mean, if I add them, would you like for me to be specific? Or do I just vaguely describe what is happening?
I hope you like the chapter.