*some time later*
Rev. Brown paused as she walked passed the room....... The tears formed in her eyes as she stared into what once was his room ....... "Mildred .. don't do this ......" Dea. Brown came up behind and held her ...... IT was difficult for the both of them, but slowly they've come around to not having him there .... "Walter .. did we have to change his room though??? It was like that was the only piece of him left here ......." Rev. Brown said as she embraced her husband ...... This was something she never thought she’d have to do ... Say goodbye to one of her children ........
"Millie .... you know the best way to get on with our lives was to do that ..... and now we need to get back to church ...... This is the first Sunday you are presiding over since .... well ...since that night .... and the Lord has a word for you to give the people ........" Rev. Brown thought ..... they had been though a lot over the course of the summer prompting Rev. Brown to enlist the services of one of her friends to pastor the church while they got things settled .......
It wasn't an easy transition for anyone ..... None of the kids wanted to accept it at first ... Marquice went into a slump where he wouldn't talk to anyone .... Ever since the whole Patrick thing .. Jamal had been the only one he could confide in .... Jamal never told their parents .... and he never felt strong enough to do anything ....... The other kids .... well ... you could tell the difference with the entire family .... but one by one .. they got themselves together and started off toward a new beginning ......
They were at church and surprised to see a crowd of people standing outside the building they had renovated ...... "Looks like the flock are ready to be fed ...." Dea. Brown said as he opened the door for his wife ..... She was dressed in her traditional flowing white dress that was accented by blue jewelry ...... In Rev . Brown fashion .. she wore a hat that was not to be fucked with ..... Rev. Brown was back .... well in a sense ... she had learned something’s about herself as well as others through this whole situation ......
She learned that even with an iron fist, one person can't control another or their actions ... and if you don't realize .. life can be taken away ..... So she vowed to live each day with love, compassion, and appreciate the small things in life ...... Never again would her heart be cold as ice..... nor would she make things go her way .... This was God's plan ... and who was she to interfere? She walked among the members hand in hand with her family ....... Everyone knew what happened ... even about her first husband ...... and she held her head up high ........
Outside the church another vehicle pulled up .... inside were Jay, Q, Deuce, and Berry .... After that night .... things had changed between everyone ..... Although Deuce and Berry blamed themselves for what happened .. they soon saw past their sadness and found peace .... When Jay told them that his aunt was preaching for the first time, everyone wanted to be there ..... no questions asked ...... Deuce shook off his nervousness ... He hadn't seen the family since that afternoon ..... He didn't know what to say then .... but Dea. Brown assured him that things were fine ... and he was welcomed anytime ......
"You sure we wanna do this??? I mean ... I just don't feel right ...." Deuce said as he looked at the people go into the church ...... "There u go again ... are u sure u got nuts??? Cause u really be feeling that Snatch" Berry said as everyone laughed it off ...... "Look Deuce ... you need to be strong man ... it’s been a while ..... I know u still love him ...but .... well I understand. .. it’s been difficult for me ... but you need to be strong ....." Jay said as he adjusted his shades .... In true form he was actually talking to himself ......
Maybe giving Jamal the jeep was a bad idea .. look wat happened .... but he had moved past that and was ready to get moving again ....... Behind them Akeem and Marcus had come down from school at Howard ... They left shortly after graduation ....... and never looked back ... "You ready?" Akeem asked as he saw the look of uncertainty in Marcus' face ..... "I ... Maybe this was a bad idea ..... we aint been back since graduation.... and just show up ..... No calls ... Rev. Brown asked us to stay in contact at graduation ... and we didn’t ....." Akeem put his lips on Marcus's ....... "Better now?" he asked with a sly grin .......
"Maybe .... I'm sorry bae ... its just weird .....being here ...and Jamal isn’t ........ I dunno ..." Marcus looked away not wanting to get emotional again ..... "I'm sure where ever he is he is in a better place and wouldn't want u acting like that anyway ...." Marcus thought about it and agreed that he was right ..... there wasn't any need to be acting this way ..... Life was going good for them and he knew that Jamal was one of the reasons ........
Everyone seemed to get out the car at the same time and greeted each other .... Marcus even put his displeasure with Deuce and Berry and was civil ..... Akeem and Q laughed at how some things never changed ...... After catching up for a few ...... They all walked in ....... Just as the choir was starting the opening selection ...... Choir wasn't the same with Jamal some choir members thought ... but they still sang like it wasn’t no tomorrow ...... The entire service had folk up out of their seats as the service drew closer and closer to the moment of truth ....... Rev. Brown's return to the pulpit ....
She herself was on fire in her spirit as she felt the Holy Ghost move in and around the service ..... As the time came ... the clerk introduced her with these words .... "A Woman of God ..... Filled with the Holy Ghost .... and A child of the King ....... I have no doubt that Rev. Brown will bring a word that will put a fire in your soul ..... and a desire to serve him in your heart ... after a special selection from our choir ........ The next voice you shall hear ...... will be that of the Rev. Mildred Brown ...." The congregation erupted in applause as the choir stood to sing .......
Rev. Brown had her eyes closed in prayer as she prepared to bring forth the word of God ..... Her spirit was calm ....and she knew that He was in this place ........ The musician struck up several chords .... and let each one sustain themselves ..... and then she heard this .......
"I know yall didn’t think I'd let this moment pass without me being here for my mother ......."
She looked up as she couldn’t believe it … It was Jamal …… “Just to give you an idea of what we’ve been through …… and to let God know that I know, that we would never had made it …….”
He started to sing ……
Never would have made it, never could have made it, without you
I would have lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me
And I can say
Never would have made it,
Never could have made it,
Without you
I would have lost it all,
But I now how I see how you were there for me and I can say
I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better,
much better,
When I look back over all you brought me thru.
I can see that you were the one that I held on to
And I never
Chorus Never would have made it
Oh I never could have made it
Chorus Never could have made it without you
I would have lost my mind a long time ago, if it had not been for you.
I am stronger
Chorus – I am stronger
I am wiser
Chorus – I am wiser
Now I am better
Chorus – I am better
So much better
Chorus – I am better
I made it thru my storm and my test because you were there to carry me thru my mess
I am stronger
Chorus – I am stronger
I am wiser
Chorus – I am wiser
I am better
Chorus – I am better
Much better
Chorus – I am better
I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it
And I never would have made it
Chorus Never would have made it
Never could have made it
Chorus Never could have made it without you
I would have lost my mind, I would have gave up, but you were right there, you were right there
I never
Chorus Never would have made it
Oh I never
Chorus - I never could have made it without you.
Someone need to testify next to them and tell them I am stronger, I am wiser, I am better, much better. When I look back over what he brought me thru. I realize that I made it because I had you to hold on to, now I am stronger, now I am wiser, I am better, so much better. I made it. Is there anybody in this house other than me that can declare that you made it. Tell your neighbor, never would have made it. Never would have made it. Never could have made it. Never could have made it without you. Never would have made it. Never would have made it. Never could have made it. Never could have made it without you
By the time he had finished … there wasn’t a person left sitting …. And not a dry eye in the room ….. Jamal looked out and for the first time in a long time … He actually believe wat he had sung …… Sure he was doing R and B now … but it was something about singing Gospel that always left him excited …….. HE walked down and hugged his mother … who was still in shock that he was in front of her …… she had no idea that he would be there as she was sure he was out touring or recording ……. But it was always in his heart to be there ….. she was there for him …no matter what .. and he was just doing what a son is supposed to do …….
“You are something else boy …” she said as he kissed her .. The congregation was still stirring as the musician continued to play to allow those touched by the song time to express themselves ….. Jamal smiled …. He looked out and saw all of his friends … his family … folk he hadn’t seen since graduation ……. “Oh come on and give God some praise … If you know that you … never would have made it …without HIM!!!” Rev Brown spoke into the mic as Jamal stood beside her ……
“Despite all My mess .. my faults…. My funny ways … he never left me … and he never left you …. And now you can see!!!!! Oh come on and give God some praise ……” She paused and allowed the congregation to calm down …. “Its not too many times … that ….. Rev. Brown is surprised and shocked …” She looked at her husband … “And I would like to think none of my family had anything to do with this ……” The crowd laughed …… “But nonetheless …. There is a word from the Lord ….. Give an honor to Him first and foremost … and then to my cohorts in the ministry ..my brothers who have carried on the work of the Lord while I was out in California with my son … who … surprised me and is taking a break from his new recording to be here ….. To my family and all who are assembled here today ….. Good afternoon …. I want to speak from the topic … You can’t make it …..Without Him ….. Turn to your neighbor and say ..You can’t make it ….. Without Him ……”
Jamal’s phone buzzed in his pocket …. Yea he already knew he was going to be in some trouble .. but there was no way he was gonna miss his mom’s sermon ….. He thought back to the night when everything changed … and it seemed like a dream …but it wasn’t …..