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Shocked! I was shocked to say the least. Completely stunned by the fact that slut shaming still goes on and the double standards that comes with it. Liv was humiliated and bullied so badly that she fled her hometown and school. While those guys had participated in those actions as well but feel they could judge her for it.
It's unfair.
And even though I understood her better, she was still a bully. She was bullied by the people at her former school, so she comes here for a new start. And what does she do with that new start? She continued the cycle of hurt by doing the same thing to me.
"Did you reach out to her after?" I was looking down at the ground and holding onto myself.
"I've barely spoken to her since she got here. Plus, she got a boyfriend within a week of her being here. I can't say for sure, but I think that's why she got with him so quickly. She didn't want to be seen as that girl she was in Pine Point. That girl wasn't girlfriend material," he spoke honestly.
"But, when I first saw her again I wanted to be there for her and show her around because she didn't know anyone here. Basically, I was told that it never happened and we don't know each other. She said that I reminded her of how she was in the past and that she wanted to leave all that in Pine Point. I can respect that, so I left it there."
"If she... wanted you back, even just for a night, would you take her?" With all this new information, I needed to know that part of him was gone.
"I'm always going to remember what happened between us. We were both in such an emotional place and it brought us together. That whole thing taught me so much about myself. But, no, that ship has sailed if that's what you're worried about."
When I looked over at him, he seemed so disappointed in himself. "I'm not holding that against you, it happened before we even met. I know that you have a past and as long as it's over I'm not... it's okay. Still, I'm worried. You've been with Celia, Liv and others presumably. Now, you have your sights on me," I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm not proud of all that I've done, but I was a different person back then. I like to think I've grown. That wasn't the best time for me and I wanted to lose myself in all the extremities. New parties every night, drugs, alcohol, sex galore. But, I can't go back and change any of that for you."
Of course, this wasn't what I wanted to hear.
He hung his head low and put his hands over his face. "I'm never going to be that pure, virgin without a past for you to share all your first with, if that's what you're looking for. That's not me. Daya, you have to accept me with everything I've done or not. Who I was back then is not who I'm trying to be now. I'm not trying to make you my latest conquest. I haven't been with anyone for a little bit. Seriously, random hookups get boring after a while. I can handle something real now and that's what I want."
"Why are you doing this?" My voice was full of unadulterated desperation.
A puzzled look crossed his face, "I've told you a million times that I like you, Daya."
I sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair.
I absorbed his warm grazes, "Why? I'm pretty sure all I've done is look like an erratic, judgmental person," I wondered.
"I like your smile. I like that I don't know you and that I can get to. I like that you don't look at me the way everyone else does, or at least you didn't twenty minutes ago."
I put my hands on top of his and looked up at him, "I still like what I see when I look at you."
"Daya, you have an innocence about you that most people have lost by now, especially me. I don't think you're Barney innocent, but... I can tell you have a good heart. You're awkward," he laughed, "but in an endearing way."
A blush went across his face and a goofy smile appeared. I giggled as a matching blush rushed to my face.
"Did you ask me that just so I'll compliment you?" He said getting back to his usual jokey self.
My smile reached from ear to ear, "Are you accusing me of being nefarious? That doesn't sound like something Barney would do," I pestered.
"I told you, I don't think you're completely innocent." He kissed the spot on my neck were the hickey still laid.
"Who knows, you might be worse than me," he teased.
"Oh yeah, I've snuck out a few times, jumped from some trees. I'm a total bad girl," I joked lightheartedly.
"I can tell. You really give off that vibe. I'm worried you might be a bad influence on me," he smiled into his words.
As we teased each other back and forth I still had what he said on my mind. "So, what happened? You said you weren't in a good place at the time. What was going on and what does it have to do with Celia?"
Right as he was about to answer, we heard the familiar titter tatter of heeled boots coming our way. I curved away from him and to the direction of the sound.
"Daya," Liv shouted as she stomped toward me frantically. She sure did have a flare for the dramatic. When she got closer, I could see rage fueling her blood and she looked like all she could see was red. She lunged at me with her arms swinging, before Banks grabbed her.
"Whoah Liv! What the hell?" Banks yelled as he held her in his arms to keep her off of me.
"You little hoe! He dumped me because of you!" She struggled to get out of his stronghold.
"Get your dirty hands off me," she screamed as she continued swinging towards me.
"You never even dated Jay and now he's leaving me for your perverted-" she exploded with lividness. Banks lifted her into the air and carried her back towards the door, leaving me alone to process this new information. I didn't know if I was more shocked that Liv tried to beat me up or that Jay actually broke up with her.
"Calm down Liv," Banks ordered as they got further from me. I followed them, and everyone was looking at us through the windows or rushing outside.
"She took him away from me! You don't understand," she yelled at Banks.
"Liv is there a possibility that he dumped you because you do things like this!"
"Oh really, you seemed to like it when I-" The teacher monitoring our lunch wave came outside when she saw the swarm of students rushing out way. "What is going on out here?"
Banks lowered Liv back onto the ground as we all looked the monitor in the face. "This is all on me. It's my fault," Banks said taking up for me in my time of need.
"I don't time for this. You three, go to the office now," and so we did.
Once we got there it was determined that Banks wasn't really involved. Then, Liv and I were sent to the counselor's office of Mrs. Burch. Before we separated, Banks anticipated my nervousness and told me, "You'll be okay, I promise."
"Okay girls, does anyone want to tell me what's going on?" Mrs. Burch looked at us with sincerity in her eyes as she had a pen ready to write down whatever we said.
Liv was stone cold as she sat in with crossed arms, so I started, "We've been arguing for a few days about a personal situation between the two of us."
Liv snorted, "She's been trying to ruin my relationship for months because she's obsessed and jealous of me."
"I could say the same exact thing about you, so don't start." My grip on the sides of the chair grew stronger.
It appeared as if Liv was going to reply but Mrs. Burch said, "I can see that there is some tension here. I'm concerned that you two are going to make this confrontation physically violent."
I shook my head no, "I'm not interested in fighting her. She lunged herself at me. I've been trying to remove myself from her relationship."
"Okay, did you try to throw the first blow, Ms. Saint-Charles?"
Liv scoffed, "Sure, but if she-" Mrs. Burch interjected.
"No fight actually occurred, so I'll let you both off on a warning. I know that there was a video going around earlier this week regarding the two of you that was perturbed. So, if you both can agree to leave it in this room, we can get out of here with no disciplinary action necessary. However, if you're sent back here again, there will be a different result."
We were both dismissed to our last class of the day, which we had together unfortunately. Resulting in a very uncomfortable walk back to class.
"Liv, I'm sorry about what happened," I tried to take the high road in this situation.
"I obviously wasn't thrilled that you and Jay were together, but I do feel for your...plight." Was that the right word? She obviously didn't know what Banks previously told me, so I tried to skip around that.
She crossed her arms and tried to compose herself the best she could. "You don't know anything about me or my plight, bitch. I don't get why he would choose you," she said in disgust, "...over me. And now Banks wants you too. Ugh, I'm just confused."
I took what she said at face value. "I don't understand it either. Liv, I've felt so many emotions towards you, especially today. I don't want any bad blood to be between us. I've never been sent to the office over something like this in my life and I don't want to go back. Do you think we could just let it go?" Like Jay let her go, but I didn't say that.
Liv stopped in the middle of the hall and I could hear a stutter in her voice. "Liv," I said as she slowly started to break down in front of me. She started looking around the hall and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. Was she about to cry in front of me?
"You just can't help yourself, can you? You pretend that you're this perfect little angel when I know you're aren't. You're so incredibly selfish and I don't think you can see it. No matter what I did, he compared it to you. When you weren't around your presence was always felt, looming. I just wanted something different from before I came here."
Her face looked like she was fighting within herself to control her emotions. "For someone to actually love me and to not use me for their own personal gain or to gain some type of power. Now, I find out that the one guy that treated me well and feed me all these lovely lies, was only with me to get over you," she seemed genuinely hurt over what Jay did to her.
"Daya, I want this to be over too and if I never have to see you again I'll be ecstatic. So, let's go back to pretending the other person never existed, okay," she swiftly walked off and I walked slowly behind her.
I was alone, but not completely. I had enough people staring and talking about me that I was ambushed by the company. There was one person that definitely wasn't looking though. Celia didn't look at me for a second, neither the less speak to me. Given my loneliness, I had time to think about decisions I hadn't thought about today. Time went by quicker with those thoughts on my mind. It felt like old times, being all alone.
My mind was a bungled mess as I looked at the text Banks sent me, 'Meet me in the parking lot.' I walked over to where he was as soon as I could.
"Did you get in trouble?" He inquired with a worried look on his face.
"No, I got off with a warning and a harsh scolding from Liv," I huffed.
He shook his head, "Liv will get over it. She's been through worse."
"It feels like everyone hates me. Celia won't talk to me. Liv despises me even more now. I don't know what to do," I pouted. If it wasn't extremely unattractive I could've had a temper tantrum right there.
He sighed and encased me in his arms. "Well, I definitely don't hate you, if that helps. Do you have a ride home? I'll just be late and drop you off."
"No, my family is coming to get me, but I'll see you at the game tonight," I said trying to sound as exulted as possible. We exchanged a few other words and went our separate ways.
As I walked to the car line at the front of the school, all my options crossed my mind. Dennis was getting a ride home from one of his friends and he was probably still upset at me because of our huge fight this morning. And, I didn't want to distress my mother because I was in the most sour of moods. Piper carpools with Celia so that wasn't going to happen either. Jay wasn't even on my radar. I wouldn't know which school bus to get on. Ugh!
There was only one option left, dear old dad. My fingers shakily texted my dad and told him that I would take him up on his offer to come get me. I sat outside, by myself, until his arrival thinking about what I could possibly say to him. In the midst of those thoughts, hid familiar Toyota Corolla pulled up into the car line with his window down.
As I approached the car and prepared myself to see him he said, "Hi, my Sunshine."
*Wow, a lot of stuff is going on here! I'm enjoying writing this so much!
Are you surprised that Jay broke up with Liv? Was that the right decision?
Daddy's coming back into the story. What do you think that has in store?
Remember to comment, follow and share!*