Back to school 😩😑💔
JAWAHIR
I woke up cuddled to a muscular chest, both of his arms wrapped around me and I'm tucked to his chest. I feel oddly protected. I looked around the room and noticed the light are off, the only source of light is from the window, where the sun is about to fall.
The dim light illuminated his face, I looked at him, like really look at him. I let my eyes absorb his looks, this is not my Aayan. My Aayn certainly didn't have wrinkles and dark circles, his skin was so healthy and smooth it glowed, literally. Now he looks wizened. Well he stopped being mine three months ago, now I have no idea who the man laying beside is.
I made a move to slip away but he tightened his hold on me, I knew he wasn't asleep. "Don't move," he said in a low murmur. Without replying, I made the move to push myself out of his hold again but he held on. "I'm never letting you go." He vowed.
"Aayan let me go," I protested weakly. "Never," he whispered, burying his face in my neck. "I wish you'd just listen to me love, please just listen to me," his lips moved on the flesh of my neck, the feeling of it uncomfortable.
"There's nothing to listen to Aayan, you've said everything you need to and I've seen everything I needed to see." This time I pushed him away with more force, he let me go. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for him, I don't have legs to move as I wish right now. I struggled to sit up and he was quick to help me but I whacked his hands away. With much difficulty, I sat down and put some distance between us.
I looked at wall clock on the wall and the time says 5'o'clock. "You should leave." I ordered with a stoic indifference to his presence. Aayan took a hold of my hands. "La tafeal hdha, lana, linafsuk; don't do this, to us, to yourself. Please, if you'd listen—
I snatched my hands away which shut him up mid sentence. "Haven't you said everything you want to say?" I spatted bitterly, the words he not so gently bruised, burned me with rang loudly in my head. "Then leave Mr Abbas, leave. You're not wanted here. I don't even want to see you, mere looking at you enrages me, I h—"
"—don't please," he pleaded in a hoarse voice. "I understand you're hurt, angry, confused, livid, furious and you have every single right to be Tesoro, but if you'd just let me explain please. Not for me, at least for you. You deserve to know, let me apologize and explain."
Flashes of what I saw crossed my mind, the conclusions I came with ringing in my head. A sob broke out from within me. "Tesoro?" Aayan panicked. I bawled, I don't even know why I'm crying. I just don't have a control of my emotions right now.
Aayan wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his body. He placed his chin on top of my head, patting my back tenderly. "Shh habibty, shh baby I'm here. You're okay, you're okay."
"I'm not okay," I pushed him away. "I'm not okay, okay? I'm not! I'm not okay! Nothing makes sense, I don't know how to describe what I feel, I don't know how I feel. Nothing makes sense! I lost a child, a child I didn't even know existed. Everything is so blurry and overwhelming. Nothing is okay, I'm not okay!" I covered my face with my palms, shaking my head and kept repeating 'I'm not okay.'
Aayan pulled me back to his body. "Then let me take the pain away baby, let me make it better."
"How?" I cried. "How will you make it better?"
He held me tighter. "I will, if you will let me."
"I don't know," I shook my head. "I don't know, nothing makes sense. I can't listen to you right now, I'm not in the right state of mind, I just can't."
"Tesoro—
"—no you don't understand. I won't be able to listen, to understand. Just looking at you hurts Aayan, it hurts so bad."
Aayan held me tighter. "It hurts wallah, it hurts real bad." If possible he held me tighter, as if he wants to hide me in his body, away from all this pain and heartache. "I'm sorry," he kissed the top of my head. "I'm so sorry."
"Your sorry won't fix anything, it won't change a thing. It won't take away anything, it won't take away the pain brewing within me, threatening to consume the whole of me."
"I know, I know love. I know." I wanted to tell him to stop calling me that, to stop with the terms of endearment but the part of me that still craved his love and affection didn't let me.
"Leave Aayan." I pulled away, this time gently. I used the edge of my palms to rub my eyes. "Please leave." The fight in me drained.
Aayan shook head. "La; no, don't. I just want to be near you, I want to make sure you're okay just maybe my heart could be at ease."
"As you can see, I'm properly being taken care of. And your heart was at ease leaving for three month, what changed?" I bit out the last sentence. Aayan looks like I've physically punched him. I felt bad a little but before the feeling could fully take over I forcefully pushed it down and away.
"I'm gonna say it one last time, leave. Leave before I say something I might regret. Wallahi, wallahi Aayan I don't want to be near you or even be in the same room as you wallahi. Is that too much to ask for?" I snivel. "Can't you do that for me? Can't you just leave me alone?"
Aayan clenched his eyes shot, when he opened them they've turned red, glistening red. "You're right," he said in a raspy voice. "the least I could do is respect your wishes and give you the space you need. I would do what you ask of me, but know that I'm not leaving you alone completely. I'm sorry but I can't do that. I'll leave, for now." He alighted the bed and stood straight, he bend to his knees, his face in line with mine. Aayan held both of my cheeks with his palms, stroking gently with his thumbs on both side. He placed his lips delicately on my forehead. "I love you," I closed my eyes shut because of the intensity of his words, the look I saw on his face just before I shut my eyes didn't help.
I didn't open my eyes till I was sure he has left. I released a huge sigh. Affan walked in not more two minutes later. In his hands was a bouquet with a balloon. He stretched his hands to me. "From Uncle Aayan." He simply said and walked out immediately. It's a chocolate bouquet. The bouquet's content were Cadbury, KitKat, Snickers, two brands I don't recognize, roses and a balloon that says 'I love you.'
If I wasn't so furious with him, I would have awwn-ed but I am so I won't. I stretched my hand and picked a needled, without a second thought I poked the ballon, I watch as it deflates, imagining Aayan's face. I unwrapped a Cadbury and bit into it softly, you didn't expect to throw away the chocolates did you? I have one explanation, CHOCOLATES!
I was munching on my fifth piece of chocolates when my two sisters walked in, seeing them reminded of what happened last before I entered the room. Ya Allah , I sighed mentally. They sat down on either side of me, at the edges of the bed.
"Jawahir?" Ya Farha called.
"Don't say anything please Ya Farha," I closed my eyes. "I already feel guilty as it is," I opened eyes to look at them. "I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me. It was very stupid and irrational of me to act the way I did, I'm truly sorry for that."
"It's okay, we're sorry too." Ya Fifi responded with a smile. "Can I have a chocolate please?" Ya Farha requested. I handed over the bouquet, well the remains of it, to her, she picked KitKat. "Where did you get them from?" She asked unwrapping the delicacy.
"Aayan." I muttered.
"Poor fella," Ya Fifi whispered to herself. "I wonder how he's holding up," she said absentmindedly before getting Ya Farha's attention on something.
I wonder how he's holding up.
AAYAN
You're not wanted here. I don't even want to see you, mere looking at you enrages me, I h—
Just looking at you hurts Aayan, it hurts so bad.
Wallahi, wallahi Aayan I don't want to be near you or even be in the same room as you wallahi. Is that too much to ask for? Can't you do that for me? Can't you just leave me alone?
As you can see, I'm properly being taken care of. And your heart was at ease leaving for three month, what changed?
Your heart was at ease leaving for three months, what changed?
I clenched my eyes shut, willing the words will go away and stop repeating in my head like a broken record. I got startled when the telephone beside me rang, I've forgotten I'm in the office. I cleared my throat and picked the call. "Aayan Abbas Abdullah speaking?"
"Sir?" Bashar's voice boomed from the other side. "Representatives from MB Limited are here, they are already in the meeting room."
"Okay Bashar, I'm on my way, thank you." I adjusted my suit, running my fingers throw my messed up locks. Once I made myself look presentable, I exited my office. I met Bashar waiting for me with the files in his hands, I can always count on this guy. I've totally forgotten about the files.
The meeting ended after three hours, in our favor. By the time we finish the meeting it was already lunch break, Bashar headed to the cafeteria and I headed to my office. There's a warmer waiting for me, courtesy of Ammiey. I've been at my parents' house, I refuse to go back to my house, unless it's with Tesoro.
I pushed the door open, the sight I met made me sigh in exasperation. Shaking my head, I unbuttoned my blazer and ambulated inside. The idiot I call a friend, looked up at me with his mouth filled to the brim with the biryani Ammiey made for me. Uthman swallowed loudly before his mouth started running like the Niagara Falls.
"Baabaa you have to taste this, I've never tasted anything like this. Mehn my Ammiey's hands are bless. Aayan did you know that a cat has been the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years? Hippopotamus milk is pink. Oh and the average adult human has two to nine pounds of bacteria in his or her body."
I blinked once, twice, the third time I just shook my head. Why am I not surprised? Haven't known him for almost a decade I'm no longer surprised. I pulled away the food warmer from him, he didn't even have the decency to grab a plate.
I settled down after grabbing everything I'll need. After clearing the plates, Uthman looked at me. "How are you?"
I released a hot breath. "I'm fine."
"When last did you see her?"
"Three days ago," I whispered, recalling our last recalling our last encounter. The deep sorrow that now marred her doe like brown orbs, a sorrow that I have a hand in. But I promise to make it better, if only she wasn't so stubborn.
"Have you told her everything yet?"
I scoffed. "As if she'll let me," I leaned back in my chair. "I wish she'd hear me out then after she can decide, I just want to get this burden off of me."
Uthman nodded, his eyes sympathetic and pitiful. I looked away. "Any updates about....." he trailed off but I very much know what he's referring to, who rather. "He is still in the hospital recovering, agent Owens assured me he's under heavy surveillance. This is the end for him, he'll now get the punishment he deserves. It's has been overdue."
"I can't believe he tried to kill himself," Uthman whispered, his voice held a certain sadness and disappointment.
And I understood that, at certain points in our lives we considered this person to be our friend, a brother. But things changed, billahi we tried. God knows we did everything we could till we couldn't anymore, we never stopped praying for him though. He chose this dunya over his akhira.
"He opted for what he thought will be the easiest way out, but he'll surely get severely punished for all he did, everything." I spatted, unwanted memories resurfacing.
"And the others?"
"They are all in custody."
" It's finally over, after years." Uthman exclaimed with a huge sigh. It'll take time to sink in though, that after years I can go to sleep in peace knowing that justice will be served.
"Did you....you know...." he trailed off. "Visit the cemetery you mean? I did." I nodded gloomily.
After a few minutes of silence, Uthman spoke again. "Okay what's going on with Amarya mu?" He asked, drifting off the topic of Abdulrazaq.
I released a tired sigh. "She doesn't want to see me and considering what I did, I don't see her fault."
"That's it?" He exclaimed in disbelief. "Wallahi sometimes Aayan you act so stupid. You're just gonna sit down here till she calls you back or what?"
"If this is what she wants th—
"—just shut up!" He raised his hand. "Please shut up! When do girls ever say exactly what they want? They are never straight forward. Their yes means yes, no means yes and no, and no means maybe. But maybe means yes and maybe also means no!" I blinked.
"I know! That doesn't even make sense, at all. But that's how they are and we love em like that. You're not going to sit down here and do nothing Aayan, you're gonna sweep her off her feet and make her remember why she fell for you in the first place. Shower her with love and affection, show her just how much you love her. Make her heart expand and the same time tighten because of your love. Woo her mehn, woo her."
"You're right!" I exclaimed.
"Of course, I am." He adjusted his collar, dusting off the false dust on his shoulder. "What will you do without me?"
"I have no idea."
Are we ready to fall in love with junior Mr AA all over again?🔊🔊🔊
We all know that Aayan made only one visit when he was in London so this means....Manal is no more. But I think we've figured it out already. But who was she to Aayan? What happened? How did she die? What is her story?!
I know those are the questions you keep asking yourselves. Sabr lovelies, Sabr😌
Apparently Abdulrazaq has been captured.....what was his crime? What is his story?!
See you next time. Till we meet again, till then keep on guessing!🎉🎉
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Yours truly
Memzyb✨🌹