The silence over takes the air and Harry comes barreling into the kitchen, my feet turning to look at him.
"Reagan, I need to speak to you," he rushes, Anne frowning. He tugs me towards the backdoor and opens it, walking me down the sidewalk.
"Listen, I know you want to find out about me and I want you to know, but it- what I did...it's practically unforgivable and I can't handle you not being around right now. You need to understand that you know more than anyone, other than Gemma and my mum. Please, don't ask. I want to be the one to tell you because it's my story to tell," he says, his tense shoulders relaxing as I grab his hands.
I look up at him, his expression one that's clearly unsettled, and my thumbs run along his fingers.
"Reagan, I'll tell you. If you want me to tell you, I will. But it will kill me if you walk away. There is- I can't," he says, letting go of me and turning. His hands run through his hair and he grabs a potted plant, throwing it at the side of the house.
"Harry," I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him into my arms. His broad stature is hard to hold but his arms form around me, burying his face in my hair.
"It doesn't matter when you tell me, Harry. You telling me that you have a secret will make me want to know more but-" I'm cut off by his cry.
"Crack," he says, squeezing me tighter.
"What?" I ask, tightening my fingers around his shirt.
"I smoked crack. My friends all did it and then they started heroin. The feeling was amazing; but it led to so many horrible things. I took it every day and I never looked back; marijuana the second best thing to heroin. After all the drugs, I had gotten so high I ended up in a hospital. They had to flush everything out of my system then I had to go to rehab for a few months."
To say I'm surprised is an understatement. Drugs? He's done an obsessive amount of drugs and that is one of the things that made my father the way he was. Alcohol and marijuana were the subject of my father's life; never seeing him smoke but he reeked of it on his clothes and breath.
"Reagan, please say something," he chokes, my eyes so clouded by my thoughts. The only thing I'm unnerved by is the fact that he willingly did these things to himself. He smoked crack, marijuana, and he injected heroin into his arms.
His arms. Those scars are from heroin injections. Some of them are so bad and he will live with those the rest of his life. Why would he do this to himself?
"Your arms... heroin," I stutter, his eyes squeezing shut as I look at him. My feet walk backwards and I think of everything that could have happened to him. Harry could have hurt people, done things to his family, or so much worse. One of the things he's even said is he's done horrible things. I just can't imagine them.
"Harry, go inside," his mother says, my body not even registering right now. What if he did something to his father? What if he abused someone?
"No, mum. No, I've walked away too many times," he says, but Anne yells over him.
"Harry Edward, listen to me for once and go in the house!"
Anne helps me sit down and I feel a tear fall down my cheek, her finger wiping it away.
"What did he tell you, Reagan?" she asks, my knees coming to my chest.
"Crack, marijuana, and heroin," I say, her head nodding.
"He was fifteen when he started crack and marijuana. He hid it from me and I found his stash when I was cleaning his room. I yelled so badly at him but he didn't listen. When he was seventeen was when the heroin started and he came home with marks on his arms. When I was called to the hospital, I was so mad and upset. My son was abusing drugs and it was so hard to forgive him for it. It was horrible but he was a lost puppy out of rehab. I took him home but he went out again, meeting that bitch of a girl, and getting torn in two again."
Her words leave me stunned and she moves to sit beside me, Harry nowhere to be seen. Where did he go? Did he leave?
"Just listen to me," she starts, my head slowly nodding.
"When he called me last week, telling me he was bringing a girl with him, it made me nervous you'd have piercings and tattoos and drugs with you. We've barely spoken since he left England, only a few phone calls and visits occurring. Usually when he'd visit, he would be with Tom or Kailey. But when I made a disgusted response about his guest, he immediately fired at me. He told me he likes you, genuinely likes you, and he said you are the most beautiful human being he's ever met. He spoke as if he was talking about an angel of a sort, and just from speaking to you, you are a beautiful woman. You are far beyond my expectations and I know Harry wants to be there for you. He looks at you in a way I've never seen from him. He's falling in love with you, but he doesn't know it. Love was a sketchy subject his entire life," she tells me, brushing my hair out of my eyes.
"Anne, he's going apeshit," Robin calls, my head turning to look at the burly man. Anne sighs and stands up, walking into the house and yelling at her son.
"I knew telling her was a bad idea!" he yells, Anne reaching for his arm but he shrugs her off.
"It was not! You need to understand that a girl you like needs to know things. You have to open you sometimes," she says back, his hand slamming against the wall. Kailey runs out of the house, covering her ears, and sees me. I open my arms and she jumps into my lap, holding her to me.
"It's not that easy, mum! Reagan didn't even look at me when I told her. She probably thinks I'm fucked up because I did that. I'm such an idiot!" he yells, his hard breathing heard from outside. I can't view their interaction anymore but I saw Robin restraining Harry last.
"You're not an idiot because you are concerned what will happen. Tell me what you think will happen Harry!" she yells, Kailey curling closer to me.
"She's going to leave me! If she leaves me, I-I have nothing anymore! You wouldn't understand that because dad left you!"
My eyes close and my heart slumps. He just said the one thing no mother wants to hear. That was a low blow and made the entire situation worse.
"I had nothing after your father left but I had you and Gemma! Harry Edward, you need to get out of my house and figure yourself out. It's a shame to think you came all the way over here to yell at me like this. You've scared Kailey, Tom's crying, and now Reagan is sitting in the cold because you freaked her out. I'm done with your shit, Harry! Get out of my house!" she yells, my arms lifting Kailey and walking her to the gazebo.
"It's okay, beautiful," I whisper, wiping the little girl's cheeks. The door slams and Harry enters a car, driving down the street quickly.
After carrying Kailey inside, Robin is comforting Anne and I sit beside them. She tells me it's okay, but I know it's not. We eat together in silence, Kailey remaining on my lap the entire time. Apparently the little girl is staying the entire weekend now because Kailey wanted to be with Harry. Plans change though.
"Come upstairs with me," she smiles, my head nodding. She runs upstairs and I follow, playing dolls with Kailey.
"Do you think Uncle Harry is okay?" she asks, my head nodding.
"He'll be fine tomorrow. I promise," I tell her, her hands grabbing mine. She holds me close to her and she hugs me tightly.
"He was scary," she whispers in my ear, my arms tightening around her.
"I know he was. He'll be better tomorrow," I assure the little girl, brushing her hair back.
Anne enters the room and I tell her I'll aid Kailey in getting ready for bed. After her grateful comment, I let Kailey change and get her situated in bed. She asks for me to read a story and I do so, reading one I've never seen before. It's adorable.
She's asleep in minutes and I fall asleep beside her, deep in thought.
"Where is she?!" someone yells, my body jolting straight up.
The room is empty and I'm disoriented, searching for the source of the noise. My feet scuff the floor, the hallways bare. There is nothing happening right now.
"Damn-it, where is she?!" the man yells, the voice still unrecognizable.
I step in something wet, my eyes looking down to see a pool of blood. A shutter runs through my body and I look further into the room, seeing Robin on his stomach, blood running down his head.
"Where is she?!" the voice booms, my body trembling as I continue walking. Lightning flashes through the house, Anne lying above the stairs. Her stomach is covered in her blood, my hand coming to my mouth. The horrific sight is one I'd never encountered before.
"Come out, baby. I know you're here," he says, my feet walking further down the stairs. Tom is sitting at the door, my feet rushing to him. A gasp leaves my mouth, a gunshot going through his forehead. I choke on my breath, crying the only option.
A loud gunshot rings through the house and I whimper, Kailey nowhere. Where is she?
"Reagan, darling, I miss you my love," the voice says, my eyes closing as tears stream down my cheeks.
"Kailey," I breathe, crawling to find her.
After reaching the living room, a scream leaves my lips when I see Kyle hanging in the doorway, his eyes drooped as the cast towards his wife, whom lays cold on the ground.
"Reagan," the voice nags, my body jolting as a loud clap of thunder rings through the house.
"Harry," I pant out, trying to find him. Where is he? Is he still out?
My body crawls through the blood, screaming loudly when I see Kailey lying on the couch, her neck slit open. The immoral deed committed is sick. How dare anyone do this?
"There you are," the man says, grabbing my hands and pulling me up.
"I've missed you darling," Ian whispers, alcohol on his breath.
"You are mine. Where have you been Ree?" he asks, his bloody hands holding my face.
"Answer me!" he yells, lightning flashing through the sky.
"With Harry," I whisper, crying hard. He shakes his head and points his gun away from me.
"That won't do. You see, you're mine. Not his," he says, pointing at something.
Harry's body is tied onto a wall, a gunshot to his chest. His body is cut and his pale skin tells me a nightmare. A scream leaves my lips and Ian laughs.
"Reagan," he says, my crying harsh.
"Reagan, wake up," he slurs, my eyebrows furrowing.
"Wake up!" someone says, my eyes opening quickly to see light. I squint quickly, trying to adjust to the brightness.
"Oh my gosh, you were shouting and you're crying," Anne says, my body still in Kailey's room. At least she's not here.
"Where's Harry?" I ask, her eyes closing.
"He has not returned. We don't know for he won't answer his phone."
"Harry," I breathe, needing to see him. Where is he?
Quickly grabbing my phone, I dial his number and wait. He doesn't answer and I start talking.
"Harry, I-I need you here. Please, come home. I need to make sure you're okay," I cry, remembering the horrible dream.
Upon hanging up, Anne hugs me and I cry into her arms. It was just a nightmare, I remind myself. She invites me downstairs for breakfast. I nod and she stays by my side, walking with me downstairs.
"I made pancakes," she says, my head nodding.
"Thank you," I say, her smile bright.
"Rough night?" Robin asks, holding Kailey.
"You could say that."
I hear tires screeching and the car is pulled into the driveway, my body off the chair in a split second. Through the tears, I run outside and towards Harry. His eyes have dark circles under them, his hair disheveled from running his fingers through the curls. He's okay and I'm so relieved.
Jumping onto him, he catches me and holds me tightly. My hand grabs his hair, crying into his arms as he buries his head into my neck. Yesterday was a milestone and I still want to know things, but I don't care. He's here, safe, and not dead. There has never been a moment I have been so shaken up before.
"You're okay. You're okay," I keep breathing out, so nervous he wasn't safe.
"Yes, I'm okay. I have so much I need to say to you," he tries but I shake my head, placing my index finger on his lips. I lift my head and he sets me down, my arms around his neck still as my finger rests on his lips.
"Yesterday wasn't good. I had to register everything and you- you aren't still doing anything are you?" I ask, his head shaking due to my finger still on his lips. They're so swollen.
"Why are you crying?" he asks, my hand holding onto his cheek.
"Nightmare," I whisper, his arms pulling me into him tightly.
"I didn't sleep. I parked the car at the park and cried, hitting the steering wheel every ten seconds," he says, my eyes watching him, his beautiful features awe-striking.
"Your lips are all puffy," I tell him, his thumbs wiping my tears.
"Because they're soaked with tears," he smiles, my sniffle releasing a laugh as well.
"And these lips..." he says, moving my hand off his cheek and placing his thumb and forefinger on my chin, "would very much like to be acquainted by yours."
I smile and close my eyes, his lips touching mine in a moment. Our kiss is short lived but it leaves my heart beating rapidly, Harry telling me he needs to do something.
As we enter the house, Kailey grips Robin tighter and Tom runs back up the stairs. Harry sighs and walks towards his mother, placing his hand on her shoulder and whispering something in her ear. She stands straight up and walks with him into the other room.
My feet walk up the stairs and I knock on Tom's door, telling him it's me. He opens the door and tugs on my wrist, pulling me into his room.
"What's wrong, Tom?" I ask, his eyes puffy.
"Harry. He pushed me on the floor yesterday and I hit my head. It hurt and he didn't apologize. He's my best friend," he cries, my kneeling form hugging him. He's so upset; I don't blame him.
"How about the two of us go and talk to him? I'll be with you the whole time," I compromise, his head nodding as he rubs his eye. He grabs my hand and holds it tightly; both of us walking out of his room and down the stairs.
Harry turns to look at us and Tom hides behind me, peeking out to look at Harry. Tom looks up at me, his bright hazel eyes meeting mine as I nod for him to talk to Harry.
"Tom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you yesterday," Harry says, kneeling down so he's shorter than Tom by a couple inches.
"It hurt, Haz. Really bad," Tom nervously says, Harry reaching out for him. Tom pulls me back with him and I signal to Harry that it's him, not me.
"What can I do to prove to you that I won't do that again? Tom, you're my brother and my best friend. How can I regain your trust?" Harry pleads, gently looking at the boy behind me.
Tom's hand holds mine tightly and I kneel down, cupping his ear.
"Harry means it Tom. I promise."
He nods and I stand back up, Harry looking at me curiously. Tom lets go of my hand and he starts walking hesitantly towards Harry, who kneels before him. Harry reaches out slowly and Tom wraps his arms around him, Harry holding onto the boy. It's comforting to see him this way.
Tom is let go and he walks back to me, grabbing my hand. He pulls me down and whispers he wants to play basketball outside. I nod and ask if Harry can play, his head of curls nodding. I grab Harry's hand and I walk outside with the two guys, Tom grabbing his basketball.
We play together for a while, Harry versing Tom and I. Tom scored the winning shot and Harry lifted him up, Tom laughing his genuine laugh. The two smile at each other and Harry sets him down, Tom running inside. Harry turns to me and I run to him, his hands grabbing my waist and spinning me around. My hands set on his shoulders and he sets me down, my lips pressing to his.
"I'm taking you out. Right now," he says, my lips pressing to his again.
With a quick change of our clothes and a short drive, Harry pulls into the same park as yesterday. He grabs my hand and pushes his Henley sleeves to his elbows, walking with me down to the river. A boat sits at the shore and I smile, Harry kissing my temple. He aids in getting me into the boat, his muscles shown as he pushes the boat off the shore.
After climbing in, Harry grabs the rowers and I take in my surroundings, the beautiful blue sky shining along the sun's rays.
"What happened in your nightmare?" he asks, my eyes meeting his.
My bottom lip is taken between my teeth as I try to say what happened, the horrible thoughts permanently staining my mind.
"Ian had...murdered your family along with yourself, just to make sure I remained 'his'," I flinch, hating what happened.
"Your mother and sister were shot in the stomach, Robin and Tom were shot in the forehead, Kyle was hanged, Kailey had her throat slit, and- and you," I say, trying to calm down for the horrendous thoughts are too painful to relive.
"You were against a wall, shot in the chest with cuts along your body. It was horrible and I thought you were gone. You weren't there when I woke up," I say, his eyes saddening.
"Reagan, I'm sorry," he says, my head shaking.
"Don't be. It's not entirely your fault. If I wasn't such a bitch and actually talked to you, none of this would have happened," I say.
"Baby, you weren't a bitch. You aren't a bitch because you are wonderful. No one compares to you because there is no reason to be afraid. I did something your father used to do, but please, listen to me," he says, stopping his arms and moving across the boat to look at me better.
"I stopped that life a long time ago. I've changed and I have to stayed change to be the best person I can be for you. Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, all because my girlfriend wasn't with me. Nights that I spend with you are my favorite because the loneliness void is filled. I had no idea what I was missing and now that I have you, I can't go back. There is no one I want but you," he says, my eyes looking down at him, his neck craning to look at me.
I'm falling for him. I know I am because I can't force myself away from him. I need to be with him or something in my life feels missing. We've only been together for a few months but I know him better than anyone. He's a brilliant human being.
"You are the only one I want," I whisper, his hands grabbing my waist and pulling me forward. He lies on the bottom of the boat, kissing me softly. My hands rest on his chest while he holds my cheeks, everything falling into place again.
"Can I tell you something?" I ask, his bright green eyes beautiful.
"Yes."
I take a deep breath and he watches me closely, his lips kissing the side of my nose. I've never felt so worried before.
"I'm falling for you, Harry."
---
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