So what do y'all thinks gonna happen? I honestly am pretty excited!! I don't know why though.....probably because this is like my favorite book to write!! It was my second fan fiction and definitely one of my best books!! Well I hope you guys are loving it too!!! OK, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!! Vote, comment, fan, love One Direction!!! Love ya!!!xx
Raines' POV
I sunk into one of the chairs in the Day Room and stared blankly at the wall. Wondering how this would turn out. I heard a conversation coming from the office to my right. I didn't even bother to go see what it was about. Wendy was sitting at the table filling out some information on a clipboard. I saw a little boy with damp hair walk into the room and sit down in front of a table that was to my right. He didn't even notice me. Which was fine by me.
"Raines honey, I need you to answer some questions for me," I heard Wendy say from the table, snapping me out of my trance. The little boy looked at Wendy with a confused look on his face then he saw me getting out of the chair. His eyes widened and he went back to playing with the blocks. I huffed as I made my way to the table where Wendy was sitting. She smiled politely at me as I sat down.
"How are you feeling?" She asked me.
"Well my arm hurts, I'm a bit pissed, and really upset. So not to good." I said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well I can understand why your arm hurts. But why are you upset?"
"Well......my parents are getting a divorce. The one guy I actually loved has been lying to me for the past few days and he told me when I broke up with him that he had been lying to me. I'm gonna get kicked out of my school for bringing a knife onto the property. My only friends are leaving me to go try out for X-Factor. I'm sick and tired of getting bullied." Wendy was quiet for a minute.
"You said your only friends are leaving. Are you exaggerating or do you really mean that they're your only friends?"
"I really mean it. I'm the school nerd. No one likes me. So you know what? I get bullied. If you could see my Twitter....I've already deleted my Facebook because of it. I plan on deleting my Twitter when I get computer access. I just hate life. Nothing seems to be going in my favor. Why would I want to continue?"
"Well that's what we're going to try and fix. So....tell me the story about this boy you were talking about. The one that lied to you." She sat back in the chair and looked at me expectantly.
"Well on my birthday this guy, Liam Payne, came up to me, and asked if he could sit next to me in....whatever class we were in. I've done forgot. But anyway. That day we became friends. Which I've never had before. So I sat with his friends at lunch. And we all exchanged numbers and all that. It turns out I have a few classes with them. So after school that day, for my birthday, my family and I went to Nando's. Turns out, Liam, Harry, Louis, and Zayn were going there too. So my mom said I could stay there for a little longer and after my parents and brother left I went to sit with them."
"Did your mom know that you were going to sit with them?"
"No. She didn't care. She has a habit of ignoring me. I'm starting to realize I don't think that she knew she was doing it. But before that was apart of why I would go days without eating, and completely ignore them. After I saw the guys at Nando's, I walked home, and I got ready for bed. I decided that that day was the best day I have had in a long time, maybe ever. So I was jumping around my room to music when Liam walked in. Wanting me to go to his place. Because he needed to talk to me. And he ended up asking me out that night. In the middle of the night he told me that everything he did was because of a dare. So I left his house and just walked around alone. They found me the next day, about to jump off a building to kill myself. Liam was able to talk me out of doing it. So they told my mom what had happened, didn't really even give her a chance to speak and took me with them. I was so weak and scared, that I forgave him. I went back to his house. About two days later him and his friends took me to Paris. The day we got back form Paris, they couldn't wake me up. I ended up at the hospital because I wasn't eating. At all. So they had to pump food into my system. That same day I got out of the hospital, I cut myself because everyone started teasing me, and bullying me about me and Liam dating. Liam found me right before I passed out from the blood loss. Then I woke up at the hospital. I broke up with Liam. Then he told me 'I lied. Because when I told you that the dare was just to sit with you at lunch. That's a lie. The dare really was to pretend I loved you.' then he left. I was so upset. His best friend walked in, wanting to know what happened. I started yelling. Then he left, my mom came in and told me that her and my dad were getting a divorce."
Wendy listened the whole time. Occasionally making notes on the paper she had. She nodded at different things. I felt the tears in my eyes as I continued to speak.
"I remember one day. He held me in his arms and we danced when there was no music playing. He knew how to make me feel like I was actually worth something. No one had ever made me feel that way before. But then he took that all away." I looked away as I started crying.
"So I take it you really like this boy?" She asked.
"No. I love him. He was the only one I loved." She smiled sadly at me. "God...I'm so pathetic. I feel sorry for myself. How could someone like him every love me? He was perfect. To me he was....and to believe that he actually loved me."
"Why would you think that?"
"Think what?" I looked at her confused.
"You said 'How could someone like him ever love me?' What about you makes you feel like that?"
"Well, I'm not pretty. I'm a nerd. I have no life. I have no friends. You know what. I don't care that he lied to me. Of course I'm mad, but it's my fault. I just gave him away. He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. And now he's gone. Because of me."
"OK, we'll talk more about this tomorrow. Tell me about the people that bullied you. What kind of things did they do?"
"They'd hit me, kick me, pull my hair, say I got 'Hoe of the year' award. Tell me to go to hell. Tell me I was fat, ugly, wasn't ever good enough."
"Well sweetie. Your 16 right?" I nodded. "How much do you weigh?"
"I weigh....97 or 94 pounds. Something like that."
"Hone, you're no where near fat. That's severely underweight. You have an eating disorder. You don't have an ounce of fat on your body. That's not healthy. And you are not ugly. You're beautiful. Absolutely stunning. Anyone would be lucky to look like you. We just need you to get nice and healthy again," she told me with a smile.
"That's the nicest thing I've heard in a long time," I admitted, smiling sadly and looking at my lap.
"Well it's true. How long have you been getting bullied?"
"All my life, as long as I can remember. Every school year consisted of people bullying me. See I'm from New Orleans. And when we moved to here, I was hoping that I'd get a fresh start, and make new friends. But nope. If anything, it got worse. Way, way worse."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't want to seem like a wimp or a snitch. Because that's what people would say, I didn't want it to seem true. I just wanted them to stop. I didn't want to feel like I was bothering people."
"Well now you know what to do next time something like that happens. You said you were from New Orleans, when did you move here?"
"About 8th grade."
"Did you have any friends there?"
"One. Then she just stopped talking to me one day. I haven't talked to her in...years. She stopped talking to me when I told her I was moving here. So I don't even know if she's still alive. For all I know she's been dead."
"Don't say that. Unless you have been given a reason to believe she's died, you hope for the best for her. Did you give her any reason to stop talking to you?"
"No. She just...stopped. And it hurt. Because she saw me getting bullied, she'd stop the bullies. But when she stopped being my friend, the bullies just got worse. And if she saw it, she'd just act like it was nothing and walk away."
"I bet you that hurt a lot. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. But you're here because this is where you're going to tell us everything you're feeling, thinking and that way you can get better. And we'll put a stop to those bullies. Trust me." I nodded and stayed silent, not knowing what to say. "Well you can go watch the movie now. I'm done here." She smiled. I smiled politely back and walked back over to the chair.
The flashback of Liam and I's breakup kept replaying through my head. It reminded me of a song that always had a habit of making me cry.
"Step one
You say 'We need to talk'
He walks
You say 'Sit down, it's just a talk'
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely
Right on through
Some sort of window
To your right
As he goes left
And you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You began to wonder
Why you came
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along
In the bitterness
And I, would have, stayed up
With you all night
Had I know how to save a life
Let him know
That you know best
'Cause after all
You do know best
Try to slip past
His defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
Things he told you all along
Pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you
And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along
In the bitterness
And I would have, stayed up
With you all night
Had I know how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours
And grant him
One last choice
Drive until you loose the road
Or break with the ones you followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll began to wonder
Why you came
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I, would have, stayed up
With you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I, would have, stayed up
With you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life"
I closed my eyes as the song played through my mind along with what happened to me and Liam. It was almost exactly what had happened between us. But this song was about your best friend committing suicide. Luckily, that's not what happened, to me. Some times I just get so caught up in heat of the moment, and I feel like I'm dead and think 'Well if I feel dead, I might as well be dead' but after the attempt of me trying to kill myself, I'm glad I hadn't actually died.
I looked around at everyone staring at me. What were they looking at? I mean seriously. I wasn't even talking. Why were they staring at me?
"Raines was that you singing?" Wendy asked me. Oh shit. They heard me singing. This is bad. This is very, very bad.
"Um.....yes?" What I said came out more as a question then a statement. The little boy who's name I have forgotten was staring with his mouth hanging open.
"You're voice. Is absolutely amazing!!" She beamed. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I'm glad that I couldn't see myself. I was probably the color of the chair I'm sitting in. After that everyone seemed to just drop the subject. But the boy just kept staring at me. Probably because my face was the color of a tomato.
"You can sing really good," He said to me.
"Thanks..."
"You're pretty too. Really, really pretty." I smiled.
"Thanks."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 16."
"I'm 9. My names James. What's your name?"
"Raines."
"Well Raines.....welcome to hell."