I got over 200 questions, so this could be long... please read it, it took hours to write .
Michael:
(1) Y u so perfect
A: i'm not. i mean i am pretty awesome but not perfect. i, like everyone else, have my flaws.
(2) I am in awe with your fan skills so whats the best way to stalk the baes?
A: i hoenstly don't know. twitter is a great way to stalk, so go on there. i don't know, i suck at giving advice i'm sorry.
(3) can we fangirl together?
A: hell yeah!
(4) what's your favorite thing about calum?
A: his lips. definitely.
(5) Are you and calum going to fuckk
A: maybe, i don't know. i mean, he's still struggling with his sexuality..
(6) let's fangirl over youtubers together and you can tell me every single thing you love about calum plz and thankyou
A: sounds great but do you really want me to tell you every single thing i love about him? that could take hours, babe.
(7) Do you prefer magoes or oranges?
A: oranges all the way
(8) Does it matter? What kinda donut you have, I mean.
A: it has to be Dunkin' Donuts
(9) IF YOU BReak calums heart i will come at you before yOU CAN SAY LONG LIVE LASHTON
A: i don't want to hurt him. i've waited so long to finally have him and now that i kind of do, i don't want to lose him anymore. he's so important to me my heart hurts.
(10) are you top or bottom?
A: i don't know maybe both?
(11) Why are you so adorable ?
A: ¯\_(シ)_/¯
(12) can we please become friends and fangirl together?
A: yes please
(13) Do you think you actually love Calum or is it just some fangirl/fanboy love?
A: at first i thought it was just fan love but then i started to fall for him really hard and i guess you could call it real love?
(14) do you even realize that ur life is a goddamn fanfiction
A: sometimes i feel like it is, really
(15) what do you think about Ashton?
A: uh, i don't even know what to think. first i thought he was a douche but then i met him and he was really sweet and he made luke so happy and i like happy Luke. he makes mistakes too often tho this boy should stop getting drunk. AlcOHOL IS BAD FOR YOU KIDS
(16) HOW BIG YO DICK
A: only calum will know
(17) How does it feel to be out of the fanzone
A: it's amazing
(18) Your so lucky to have Calum! But he's all yours! I promise!
A: all mine thats right
(19) on a scale of easy to your dick, how hard is it to not fck calum everytime u see him
A: double dick
(20) let's talk about the cliffoconda
A: is that some kind of snake i don't know about
(21) ignore the haters bc lmao theyre just jealous calum likes me
A: i know it's just harder than i thought. they still make me sad
(22) HOW OFTEN DO YOU WANK
A: WAY TOO OFTEN
(23) are you a calum groupie
A: i don't think calum has groupies and no i think i'm more than just a groupie
Luke:
(1) What are you going to do with your life now?
A: drowning in my own tears
(2) you're a cutie, ily ((not even a question))
A: thank you that made me smile aw
(3) How do you turn down girls who hit on you?
A: 'i like the d go away' works most of the time
(4) do you still love ashton even though he cheated?
A: you mean even though he ripped out my heart and destroyed it ?? i kinda do
(5) I'll date you if you want to make ash jealous.
A: i like the d go away
(6) don't give up on ash, babe. but if you do Troye is not single bc Troyler so try Connor
A: bUT TROYE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ((the second love of my life okay))
(7) Do you prefer blowjobs or like foreal sex yo
A: idk i like both like blowjobs feel really good but real sex is like ten times better but then again blowjobs dont hurt in the beggining ugh idk i like sex in general
(8) is lashton dead?
A: whOS LASHTON IS HE OKAY
(9) what do you talk about with calum?
A: we mostly talk about michael, i tell him embarrassing stuff and he laughs at it but then always feels bad idk calum is weird
(10) will ashton ever treat you right?
A: he does he just gets drunk too often idk he treats me like a prince when were together like hes the sweetest but then he goes partying and breaks my heart
(11) Are you gonna go back to/forgive ashton ?
A: idk it depends on what hes doing to get me back
(12) If you Malum and Lashton don't work out, can you make Cake happen oops
A: you mean like chocolate cake ??
(13) have you and ashton ... done the deed yet ;-))
A: we did some things yeah
(14) why are you an angel
A: ¯\_(シ)_/¯
(15) how often do you talk to cal
A: not that often.. every three days idk whenever hes not busy snogging michaels face of or convincing himself that hes straight this boy is confusing
(16) uR SUCH AN ADORABLE LIL SHIT michael deserves you so much
A: lub you a lot and yeah michael is lucky to have me in his life
(17) any plans for the future, like ..... doing the frickle frackle with calum & michael?
A: that's be hot and now im hard but nah
(18) You should... go and have some Angry Lashton makeup sex....
A: that sounds so great but my heart still hurts
Calum:
Warning: calum is just a really confused boy
(1) what color socks are you wearing
A: purple and blue ones ((dont ask))
(2) Do you love mikey?
A: i don't know man, love is such a strong word i'm not sure
(3) What do you like about Michael?
A: his eyes and his lips. a lot. also his smile and his personality. hes a great human being
(4) how do you feel about Mikey?
A: like this: ??????😍❤????
(5) when are u gonna frick frack with Mikey tho
A: i dont even know what i feel about him i dont know
(6) You and mikey should fuckk.
A: not yet
(7) I just think you and mikey are cute, please make up your mind yo ily
A: thank you and its not that easy okay im trying
(8) Why won't you ask out Michael?
A: not the right time at the moment
(9) why are you so hot pls teach me
A: but you are hot too what should i teach you
(10) are you ever gonna tell your subscribers about you and mikey?
A: probably some day
(11) WILL YOU COLLAB WITH ME
A: do you even youtube ??
(12) did you have a reason for stalking mikey
A: he looked cute and i saw his tweets before and i went to his profile and accidently scrolled through his tweets and yeah i do that a lot with my hoodies but he caught my attention i dont know
(13) what do you plan doing on that water bed *insert smirking emoji*
A: things
(14) you should ask Mikey to be your boyfriend :))
A: but im maybe not even gay but on the other side it would be so great to call him boyfriend and i aslo like his lips i d o n t k n o w
(15) when are you finally going to admit your gay and ask michael out on a date as boyfriends?
A: i need more time okay
(16) honey u gay
A: i dont know
(17) Do you actually love Michael or are you just wanting someone to be with?
A: i dONT KNOW WHAT I FEEL ABOUT MICHAEL THIS BOY IS CONFUSING THE SHIT OUT OF ME LEAVE ME ALONE IN MY MISERY ((im sorry i dont wanted to sound mean i love you))
(18) do u top
A: i dont even know how to answer this
(19) How many times do you wank to the thought of Mikey weekly
A: thATS PERSONAL
(20) How do you feel about yourself slowly coming to terms with liking (possibly loving) Michael
A: i feel confused
(21) have you had any other past relationships (boy or girl) somewhat like you and michael's
A: michael and i dont even have a relationship but like i had relationships with girls, never with boys tho
(22) when people call you asian do you whip out ur dick and prove them wrong
A: HAHAHAHAHAHA no i never showed anyone my dick
(23) do you think you're gay, bisexual, straight but only like michael, etc.. what do you think your sexuality is, really?
A: maybe im bisexual but on the other side, boys are much more attractive than girls. im not straight thats for sure but i dont know if im really gay
(24) do you wanna fuuck michael ? in a punk version ? please ?
A: i feel pressured youre all telling me to have sex with michael while im still trying to figure out who i am
(25) which youtuber did you have the most fun collabing with?
A: probably connor and jc (the one with michael) it was fun to film the videos
Ashton:
(1) What the fuck, man?! Luke is just an awkward tree trying to find his way in life! Why cheat?!
A: i'm so sorry i really am
(2) go back to lukey you meanie!!
A: i'm trying but he won't talk to me :(
(3) You're a dick
A: i know
(4) suck my ass
A: no thank you
(5) you dipshit why did you cheat on luke
A: i dont know and im sorry
(6) How long do you think it'll be until the next time you eat a banana?
A: is banana a metaphor for dick or
(7) Y U GOTTA BE SO R00D TO LUCAS
A: i dont know
(8) are you jelly of cake or nah
A: you mean chocolate cake ??
(9) are you naturally born dick or did it transfer from all the frick frack with luke
A: naturally born dick and i hate myself for that
(10) do you regret cheating on luke
A: yes yes yes it hurts so much being without him but i understand how he feels
(11) Why would you cheat on someone as hot, and also very sweet as luke ?
A: i don't know im stupid
(12) why do you keep cheating, like damn stop getting drunk
A: i know i made a mistake can everyone stop reminding me of how much an asshole i am thank you very much
(13) Can u teach me how to get my curls so perf
A: theyre natural idk how to make them like this, sorry
(14) Do you know how to calm your dick bc im really don't want you hurting Lukey anymore
A: i don't want to hurt him either
(15) i want to be really mad at you but youre too cute so im just going to ask this: can u and luke have rly hot angry makeup sex
A: i wish we could but he won't talk to me
(16) you better apologize to luke with a fucking wedding ring bitch
A: if that works, i will
(17) ashton, my dude, don't get drunk anymore
A: i promise i won't
Isaac:
(1) Hi you seem cool.
A: thank you!!
(2) why do you ship malum? is it bc they're hot af together?
A: yeah and also bc they have the chemistry aye theyre so in love
(3) I like your teeth. How do you get them so nice?
A: thank you, a lot of people say that to me. uh, i guess you should just brush two or three times a day, i don't know man.
(4) AYEEE WHATCHU DOIN BOII
A: just sitting around you know
(5) is MALUM your OTP?
A: yeah ofc
(6) R u single Bc I'm lonely and broke
A: i am lets be a couple
(7) Who tops in Malum to you
A: idk michael seems to be more dominant bc he looks like someone in a punk ban but at the same time hes a kitten and calum has killer arms idk man idk
(8) do you get orgasms watching michael get donut orgasms
A: not really, no
(9) date me?
A: yeah okay i mean i already told the person above we could be a couple but idk
(10) if u feel like the fifth wheel you can hmu lmao
A: sure why not ((i feel like a slut))
(11) You're such a fifth wheel!! I cri!!
A: at least i get to hang out with calum!! yay!!
(12) fuuck me ?
A: hOW OLD ARE YOU YOUNG LADY
(13) do you think that michael will ever get together or nah
A: oh they will
Michael's parents:
(1) Thank you for having non protected sex
Michael's dad: You're welcome .
(2) can you have another michael???
Michael's mum: No because Michael is special and amazing, we don't need another Michael.
(3) DAD U R AWESOME
Michael's dad: Thank you, so are you.
(4) MUM SOMETIMES I THINK U R CRAY
BUT CRAY IS OKAY
Michael's mum: Thank you, I guess?
(5) have you met calum yet?
Michael's dad: No but I really want to, he seems like a cool dude and he makes Michael smile.
(6) do you watch calum's videos?
Michael's mum: No.
Michael's dad: Sometimes. I need to look what kind of guy he is, you know? See if he's good for my son.
(7) how do you feel about your son fricking the frack with calum?
Michael's mum: Is that internet slang?
Michael's dad: Let me google it.
Two minutes later..
Michael's mum: Oh, okay, well. It's not our business, I guess.
Michael's dad: *laughing* I thought he would never get some. I'm proud.
(8) u guys did a g8 job in the frickle frackle
Michael's dad: Thank you, I always try my best.
(9) HAVE U EVER CAUGHT MIKE DOING SUMTHIN DIRTY
Michael's mum: Way too often, yeah.
(10) Wen did u kno Mikey was gay
Michael's dad: I remember coming home and Michael was on the couch with some dude and they practically had sex with their clothes on. I kinda figured it out in that moment.
Michael's mum: Wait, he had almost sex on the couch with a guy?
Michael's dad: *shrugs*
(11) how do you feel about mikey's youtube obsession
Michael's mum: I don't really get it.
Michael's dad: I think it's okay, these videos make him laugh and I like my son happy.
(12) thank you for pushing him out of ur vag, mrs. c. that is all.
Michael's mum: You're welcome, it hurt like a bitch.
Michael's dad: Wait, what did you just say?
Michael's mum: Nothing, my dear.
(13) your son is a very beautiful creature
Michael's mum: Thank you, we know. We love him a lot, he's our everything.
(14) how was little michael
Michael's dad: The cutest and loudest kid you'd ever meet.
(15) was it good sex when you create the little michael
Michael's dad: Of course, sex is alway goo-
Michael's mum: Shut up!
(16) how did you feel having michael? cuz tbh michael is an angel
Michael's dad: It's great, he's always been an angel.. even though sometimes he can be also the devil, but that's normal.
Mila:
(1) UM HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MALUM
A: THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER, I WATCHED ALL THE VLOGS AND I'M REALLY HAPPY TO SAY THAT I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND THEM WHEN THEY KISSED
(2) AND HOW MUCH OF A THIRD WHEEL DID YOU FEEL DURING THAT DISNEYLAND TRIP
A: not that much, isaac was there so
(3) are you and isaac close or did you basically invite yourself to disney
A: he's one of my best friend's
Me:
(1) StayStrongLittleLove: When will you notice me senpai
A: isn't senpai a pewdiepie thing
(2) orangelegend: you are so perfect and I stumbled upon this story on a rainy saturday and now its one of my favs :) so in otherwords you got someone to have and to hold cause im always available!
A: that's so sweet, thank you. and i'm glad you like the story!! :)
(3) psychomuke: ily, will you marry me?
A: yes you're amazing and your stories are the bomb i love you a lot
(4) 5sos_lashton_: Hi you're amazing and I think we should get married because you're perf
A: yeah okay but idk if i'll get in trouble with the other person i'm going to marry
(5) lashtonwth: we're getting married no turning back lol ily the wedding is tomorrow btw
A: okaY EVERYONE IS INVITED btw can i bring the other two who proposed to me too ??
(6) SorryImEricca: can you make more malum fics like this plz
A: you mean malum fanboy fics? idk i think this will be my only fanboy one
(7) thearcticmukeys: Why are you so amazing?
A: idk i just am. jk i really dont know haha love me
(8) echosmiths: HOW DO YOU WRITE SO DAMN FAST
A: I DONT EVEN KNOW TBH I JUST HAVE A LOT OF IDEAS AND TIME OKAY BASICALLY I HAVE NO LIFE OR FRIENDS
(9) kindamaggie: hey baby whatchu doin gurl
why do u mess with my heart
WHY U GOTTA PLAY ME LIKE THAT BRO
lashton spinoff or nah
A: nothing much really, just writing anD IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO AND NAh i dont like spinoffs or sequels sorry
(10) Darling_Niall: I like your writing. Marry me?
A: thank you and yes!
((just like isaac, i feel like a slut))
(11) ashie_irwie: CAN WE BE FRIENDS PLS
A: OF COURSE HEY NEW FRIEND
(12) LiveLife_ShipCake: OKAI EVERYONE BACK TF OFF RN BC SHES MINE
Wen did u realize I had a better Ass then u
MALUm SMUT OR NAH
A: ugh you again
fuck off
and yeah, soon
(13) agirlyoucantsweatout: What inspired you to make this story and will you make another Malum fics in the future (ps you make me laugh so let's cuddle)
A: uh, i wanted to combine two of my favourite things (in this case 5sos and youtube) in a fanfic and then collabcal was born. also i was bored and wanted to write a new story after suddenly finished. and yeah, i'm actually posting a new malum fanfic on monday and im really excited for it! :) ((ps yay okay))
(14) cleanse: I LOVE YOU IS MALUM YOUR BROTP
A: love you more and nah, theyre not just a brotp theyre my otp. i ship them really really hard and yes romantically dont hate me i just want them to be gay cry ((i dont confront them with malum tho so i guess im okay))
(15) CuddlyMalumm: CAN I MARRY YOU?! YOUR SO AMAZING!
A: OF COURSE AND THANK YOU SO ARE YOU
(16) do you eat a$$
whos your fave
A: do you?? and im ashton girl but atm im 5sos af!!
(17) ULTIMATE OTP?
A: larry all the way
(18) -blink182: WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT MARRY ME
A: I DON'T KNOW AND OKAY
(19) TheCatNamedEryn: Can we get married and have a bunch of children? We can name them all Malum. ex: Malum 1, please go give Malum 5 his shirt.
A: yeS PLEASE THAT SOUNDS AMAZING
(20) mgcthood: ur so aweSOME tell me your way B)
A: okay so first tell yourself 'im awesome' and there you go, youre awesome now
(21) unicxrn_mashton: marry me xx
A: okay
(22) whatthelou: why are you so perf. to fab for everyone. i mean u not me. but we can be fab together. riding unicors and stuff. BUBBLES BYE
A: sure we can but can i ride ashton instead of the unicors ??
(23) WHAAI ARE YOU SO AWESOME??!!!! *oh.. and who plays Isaac?
A: I DONT KNOWWWW!!!! and nat wolff bc bae
(24) how are you so perfect? please show me your ways
A: i am not, nobody's perfect. but thank you!
now my fingers are bleeding omg i hope you enjoyed. if you read everything comment 'im malum af!!'. gonna write the new chapter now bye love you lots