After Mom's funeral, Grandma and my friends left. The next morning was Tony Stark's funeral. Everyone went to Pepper's house where it was held. Every person who had fought along side him was there.
I stood next to Peter the whole time. Neither of us spoke. Looking at Peter's expression was painful, but so was watching the funeral.
After the funeral I stayed with dad until the end of the week. During that period of mourning together, we were the closer we had ever been.
Friday night Grandma came to pick me up. We had decided it would be best for me to come back to Hogwarts over the weekend. There would be less questions and my return would be less noticeable.
When I got back to my dorm, no one was there. I unpacked. After I was done, I lay on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. You would think that after all the times I mourned someone's death, I would be used to it by now. That maybe it wouldn't hurt so much, but each time it hurt a little more.
"Kendra, it's dinner."
I sat up and saw Hermione standing in the doorway.
"I don't really feel like it today. Go on without me."
I was really not in the mood to answer a hundred painful questions.
Hermione frowned. "No. You are coming with me. This is not going to be like third year."
She marched over and hauled me up. She didn't give me a chance to protest. "I understand you need space to grieve, but you also need to eat."
I let her pull me all the way to the great hall. Some people whispered as we walked through the large double doors. No one came up to ask me questions this time. It seemed at this point people were getting used to me disappearing. Hermione and I sat down with Ron and Harry. Hermione and Ron refuses to look at each other.
"How are you?" asked Harry as Hermione day me down next to her.
"How are you— Er— sleeping?" asked Ron.
My cheeks flushed with indignant pride."We are not doing this."
"Doing what?" asked Harry, bewildered.
"This pity thing! If I wanted pity, I would have stayed wallowing in my dorm."
"Kendra," said Hermione meekly. "You did want to stay wallowing in your dorm. I dragged you down here, remember?"
I sighed.
"Can I just be distracted?" I asked. "Please?"
"Alright," said Harry. He probably knew the most about what I was going through. "Has anyone told you what happened here during the— Er— dust event?"
"No." I smiled slightly.
"For whatever reason," said Hermione. "No wizard dusted. Muggleborns and halfbloods had family members who dusted, but that was it."
"It was bloody terrifying," said Ron. "The whole thing happened over break, and no one knew what was happening."
So Thanos kept his spontaneous word apparently.
"They postponed school for an extra two weeks while everyone figured out what was happening," said Harry.
"So you are only a week behind," interrupted Hermione.
We all looked at her.
"Even now no one really knows what happened," said Ron. "But everyone is back, and that's all that matters."
"Did anyone you know dust?" I asked. It had just accord to me that they might know more about what I was going through than I thought.
"I was at the Weasleys'," said Harry. "I didn't bother to check.
"Only extended family," said Hermione. "But everyone is back now."
I forced a smile. Part of me couldn't help but feel jealous. Everyone in the world lost loved ones, but they got them back. I didn't.
"Did I miss anything while I was gone," I asked finally.
"Apparition classes start tomorrow," said Harry.
"Don't you have to be seventeen to take them?"
"You have to be seventeen by August 31st," corrected Hermione. "Which you will."
"Cool." I took a bite of my toast.
"Harry also met the Minister of Magic over Christmas," said Ron.
I dropped my toast. "What did he want? You didn't agree to anything did you?"
"He wanted me to publicly support the Ministry. I said no."
"Good."
"Dumbledore also had me take some memories from Slughorn."
"Wow. So a lot happened."
"Yeah," they all said.
"Well, I should get off to bed." I stood up. I had enough new information to think about.
That night, I had a dream.
I was fighting an alien. Slicing with my blade. I rolled under its legs and tried to land a blow. It somehow was in front of me again. It's claws grabbed me. They dug into the skin of my arms. He alien picked me up and held me over the edge of the cliff we were fighting on. I struggled, then looked down.
At the bottom of the cliff lay a mangled body of a women with red hair. As I looked closer I realized who it was.
Mom.
I bolted upright in bed. I looked around frantically, only to see darkness and stillness. I took three shaky breaths trying to control my breathing. My heart was pounding so loud I was sure it would wake up everyone else.
I put my tear stained face in my sweaty hands. Sobs racked my body. This was not happening again. This was not happening again.
I stood up hastily and stumbled to my drawers. I pulled out a bathrobe and wrapped it around my body. It was a miracle I hadn't woken anyone else up.
I slipped out of the common room and headed to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It was the one place I knew no one would be. The one place I could cry and no one would hear. Well except Moaning Myrtle, but she was crying herself, and she was a ghost. I didn't feel like she counted.
I shoved the bathroom door open. My vision was bleary from tears. I closed my eyes and leaned against the closed door. I allowed a few sobs before opening my eyes and momentarily wiping away my tears. I looked up and froze.
Standing by the bathroom sink staring at me, was Draco Malfoy.
I stood there stunned, completely forgetting everything. Draco Malfoy had seen me cry. Draco of all people!
It took me a moment to notice that his face was tear stained as well.
"Are you alright?" He asked finally. Neither of us moved.
"It's none of your business." I pulled my robe tighter around myself.
After a moment I said in a softer voice, "Are you okay?"
He shrugged.
"Why are you upset?" I asked him.
"It isn't any of your business," he stiffly.
Then his tone softened as well. "What are you crying about."
"Why do you care?" I snapped.
He took a few steps towards me. "Why do you?"
My breath caught in my throat. He took one more step, and closed the distance between us. Then my arms were around his waist and his arms were behind my head. We were kissing against the bathroom wall. Both our faces were wet and salty. Neither of us were fully clothed.
For a few moments all thoughts melted away. The nightmares were gone. The war was a thing of the past. It was just me, and him.
Then reality crashed through. The reality that he had tied my up and agreed to the possible torture of my friend. The reality that he was probably working for Voldemort, no matter how much I dismissed the idea with Harry. The reality that he had done countless of horrible things. The reality that reality wasn't going away just because Malfoy was hot.
I broke the kiss and pushed him off. Malfoy staggered back in bewilderment.
"What are we doing?" I said. "We already tried this. It doesn't work."
Malfoy looked away. "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking."
"You weren't." I snapped, then ran my hands through my hair. "And neither was I."
My heart was pounding fast, for a very different reason that it was earlier.
"I should go," I said.
"Wait," Malfoy said.
I stopped and turned.
"I understand we don't work as a couple, but maybe we could try working as..."
I bit the inside of my cheek. "People who cry together at 2am in the bathroom."
He rolled his eyes, but nodded. "We don't even have to talk."
I thought for a moment, then sighed. "It's better than crying alone."
I turned, and walked back to my dorm.
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Hey Everyone, sorry this update wasn't as quick as the others. Usually after I go in a writing spree I have to ale a few days to recharge my creative juices.
Forever and Always,
Me.