Connor
I looked back to Y/N's father, awaiting what would happen next. The cliche father lecture? The explanation of rules of what you can and can't do? Straight up yelling like a drill sergeant?
Refusal of letting me marry her?
At least I know he's not gonna kill me. That part's definitely comforting.
I opened my mouth to say something.
"You know, part of me always knew that you guys were gonna end up together somehow," he stated before looking back up at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "I- Excuse me?"
Chuckling, he says, "Well, I know my Y/N. She's not too quiet when she's passionate about something. She spoke about you. A lot. I bring up the topic of school, it's either homework or Connor Murphy."
I paid attention to his words as I bit my inner cheek. No mention of the spot at the side of the school.
"I'm- uh, I- I'm flattered." I stammered.
I smiled to myself as he continued.
That Y/N...
"Maybe you've noticed, but Y/N.. she was always so happy around you. Felt comfortable outside of her shell."
"I thought that was just me," I spoke. "I just felt... comfortable around her too. "Even let myself laugh around her."
I didn't actually say that last part, but it was true.
"You guys were stuck like glue. I couldn't say I was surprised when you started going out together. And.. I know for a fact I'm not a perfect dad. Of course, I would spend time with her when I could off work, and I would always be here to talk. But texts, calls, emails... they can only do so much." His voice trailed off as he looked to the staircase where Y/N had walked up.
He paused, as if he was searching his own head for words. When he spoke again, his voice cracked. "Young man, that girl means the world to me. As her father, I'm protective. That's just how it is.
He pointed to Y/N's direction, sighing.
"And... and when I walk her down the aisle and give her to you, don't let her go. You promise me."
Sitting up straighter, I nodded. "Of course, sir."
"And if you hurt her-"
"I'll never see the light of day again." He let out a soft laugh as I finished his sentence. "I wouldn't dream of it. Not Y/N, ever."
"I know. We both know that."
A short silence filled the room again as I twisted a ring on my thumb. Y/N's father seemed to be thinking again. Couldn't really blame him, his daughter's getting married.
"Go see your bride, Connor." He told me quietly with a small but almost sad smile.
Grinning, I quickly stood up and raced halfway up the staircase. I turned to him before going on.
"Thank you, sir."
"Thank you."
I continued up the stairs and my feet automatically took me to where her old bedroom was. The door was slightly open, and Y/N caught me before I had the chance to knock.
"So..?" Y/N asked as I entered the familiar room.
I began to smile as I wrapped my arms around her, planting a kiss on her head.
"Maybe we should start thinking about that wedding date," I whispered as she quickly lifted her head off my shoulder, eyes lighting up.
She replied with a chuckle. "That's a good idea,"
I couldn't help but smile and whisper "I love you, Y/N."
I then felt her lips on mine, and I found it nice that words didn't always have to be said when it comes to moments like these... or her. We could still know exactly what we both thought and wanted.
And I knew I wanted to spend my life with her.
"I love you too, Connor," Y/N sighed with a smile, her hands clasped behind my neck. "I can't wait to marry you."
•••
Every plain step down the hallway echoed in my ear. It was the first day out of school out of how many damn days, and I couldn't even make it through homeroom without getting singled out.
I felt like a ticking time bomb with every fucking step from one room to the next. I angrily clenched my jaw, as if it could help me avoid the time I would eventually explode.
I needed to get high.
I stopped near a set of lockers as I dug through my bag looking for what I needed. That's when I froze, hearing a voice near me. Directed to me.
"Hey Connor, loving the new hair length! Very school shooter chic."
Perfect. Fucking great.
Slowly, I lifted my head to find Jared Klienman, looking all fucking proud of himself. Once I did, I felt my anger rise to the surface, threatening to spill.
He cleared his throat as if nothing had happened. "I was kidding, it was a joke."
This is it. This is when I explo-
Another voice, completely different. "That joke wasn't very funny. Fuck off, Jared."
I was caught off guard as I heard those words. Surprised, I stared at the her as she walked closer to us. "Yea, was here the whole time."
"Y/N," Jared began, tilting his head. "I thought you had a sense of humor."
Y/N crossed her arms as she replied, "I don't go around telling people they look like a school shooter."
She seemed almost embarrassed for all of a sudden interfering but at the same time, almost disgusted with everything Jared had said. I wasn't surprised.
I still didn't understand... Why me? Why stick up for a freak?
I was pretty convinced Y/N was trying to be a good samaritan or some shit, taking pity on me and stuff.
I took a breath as quietly as I could as Jared walked away, no longer paying attention to what he had to say. The other kid in the cast quickly went away as well. What the hell was the point in all of this?
That Y/N girl, though, she stayed.
"He can be a total ass," she began, a calmness in her voice. She was talking to me normally. Y/N pointed to me. "Connor, right?"
It seemed like she didn't care who I was, like she wasn't constantly fed so many rumors that she started to believe them. It happened enough that I was scared I was gonna believe them myself.
"Yea," I agreed hesitantly, refusing to meet her eyes.
And then the unexpected happened.
Y/N invited me to go with her away from the cafeteria, her reason being that Jared would most likely be in there. Eventually, I had to look up.
It's like she read my mind because I was not looking forward to walking into that room. I guess Y/N seemed to understand since she literally said the cafeteria wasn't her favorite place.
Too many people? Too loud? No one to sit with? Either way, I related, which was weird, because I don't remember the last time that happened. Then again, I don't remember the last time anyone willingly invited me anywhere.
So I shrugged, accepting her offer. When I did, she smiled. It was a nice smile. Genuine.
"Follow me," Y/N said, with a hint of glee in her tone.
I still didn't understand. I could've pushed her away and declined the offer, sure, but how could I? I never would've seen her smile.
I don't know if this somehow made us friends or not, though. Maybe it did and it was just an unspoken thing, or maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself.
Finally, we reached the door, and Y/N pushed it open.
•••
1 year after engagement
The day arrived, and the evening came quicker than I had expected. I got to my position after getting ready, and most of the men were where they were supposed to be too. If the fact that I was getting married didn't hit me as much the night before, it definitely did now.
Oddly enough, I didn't mind the feeling.
"Nervous?" I heard a deep voice ask. I turned around and saw my father next to Evan, my best man.
I still remember his reaction when Y/N and I asked him: a lot of flustered stuttering, but pure happiness in his eyes.
"Nope, not at all," I replied sarcastically. "Totally not gonna lose it when I see that beautiful person walk down the aisle knowing that she's gonna be my wife-"
"Connor," Dad placed his hand on my shoulder.
"What?"
"One: I'm pretty sure some people in the front row can hear you tap your foot."
I stopped immediately.
"And two," He stood in front of me, staring at my tie. "Your tie's way too loose."
Not saying anything as he fixed my tie, my foot went back to it's anxious tapping.
"Listen Connor, right now, you're gonna feel nervous. I know you did during rehearsals. But remember what I told you?"
I gulped, remembering. "It's gonna take patience. And time."
He smiled. "Exactly."
That's when the music began, and all the guests excitedly turned to the open church entrance. Sunlight filled the church and flew in through the stained glass windows.
Dad made his way to the front row next to Mom and some of my other family members. I took my place before the altar next to Evan.
First came the groomsmen and bridesmaids, walking arm in arm. Then it was Zoe, our Maid of Honor, leading the flower girls. I still remember Y/N and my sister trying to make the nervous ones feel more comfortable in such a grand atmosphere.
The music started into a slow crescendo while my heart beat harder and harder. The guests began to stand.
I pressed my lips into a small smile upon seeing an amazing, beautiful Y/N walk down the aisle, one hand with her bouquet, the other on her father's arm.
I couldn't let anything blur my vision of Y/N in that dress, so I quickly wiped the tears that fell. Never in my life would I thought I'd be trying suppress sobs that were truly joyful.
I tried my hardest to keep it together as I saw her smile, her eyes- Fuck, everything about that girl. I could make out that genuine smile on her face, even if she was farther from where I stood.
What did I do to deserve you?
I let out a shaky exhale as Y/N got closer and I met her glossy eyes.
She turned to her father, who kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly, mouthing an 'I love you.'
When he looked at me, he gave me a curt nod before letting her go.
Y/N took my hand, her thumb caressing it gently as she stepped up to where she stood in front of me, squeezing it tightly as the priest began the ceremony. She gave her bouquet to Zoe for her to hold.
Eventually came the vows, and all eyes were on me as I had offered to start.
I gave my future wife a smile before reading aloud from a piece of paper I had written. "Dear Y/N L/N..." I began as she chuckled.
"As you know, I really am not the best with words, especially in times like these where they truly fail. Not because everything's bad, but the complete opposites. No words, in my opinion, can truly describe the beauty of this evening, everything that's happening... in the beauty in you in your..."
When I gestured to her dress as a breath caught in my throat, Y/N took my other hand, warm and comforting to the touch, and laced her fingers with mine.
That made me realize that even when words do fail, she'll continue to be by me and not worry about it. It made me realize how so fucking lucky I was.
I continued. "You mean the whole damn world to me, so much more than you know. When I first saw you, you were Y/N, the girl I constantly questioned why she even wanted to be near me. I'm forever grateful that it turned to Y/N, my best friend who doodled on her sleeves and noticed the little things like the uniqueness a smile or laugh. Y/N, my girlfriend, and someone willing to listen. Who loved me for me. The girl I once thought would just come and go, and would just be a memory. But you and your stubborn self stayed. And I'm happy,
Y/N, so happy you did. And I'll always do the same for you, dude, just as you have since senior year. I promise to stay and make our memories together from this second forward."
"Sincerely, me," I cleared my throat, finishing.
The priest nodded. "And the bride?"
Y/N did the same, taking out a piece of paper and reading it with a tearful smile.
"Dear Connor Murphy, I'd have to be the happiest person in the world because I'm standing next to my best friend, my boyfriend-- my everything, at this altar. I've always looked forward to spending time with you, and I'm even more excited about things to come with you as my husband. I love your wit and your humor, and how we're allowed to be ourselves around each other without a care in the world. Sounds cliche, but it means so much to me. I always liked to say certain things, no matter how stupid, just hear that laugh of yours. It's just as contagious as your smile. Don't argue with me on that."
I let out a chuckle as she went on, hanging on to her every word.
"Believe me when I say that I will never leave your side. I will never regret the 'I love you's and the support I've given you, and I never will for as long as I live. As you said, words fail at times, but when that happens I'll be there to embrace you. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. Even if silence is all that's needed, so be it," Her voice cracked as she finished. "I'll continue to do all of it, just as you have for me all these years."
When she looked up, her eyes held mine, as if the rest of the world didn't matter. "Sincerely, me."
"Y/N and Connor will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Rings are derived from humble beginnings of imperfect metal to create something striking where there was once nothing at all. It is customarily worn on the ring finger as it is the only finger with a vein running directly to the heart. The wearing of the rings is a visible, outward sign that they have committed themselves to one another."
Evan carefully cradled the pillow with the rings and handed them to the priest on his request. I repeated the words the priest declared before delicately sliding the ring on Y/N's finger. That smile of hers appeared as she did the same.
"Y/N, do you take Connor to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?" The minister asked Y/N.
She looked back at me with so much love and joy. "I do."
"Connor, do you take Y/N to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," I nodded, intertwining her fingers with mine.
Clasping his hands together, the priest declared, "By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. Connor, you may now kiss your bride."
And so I did.
*******
a/n: warning: corniness. it's all lovey dovey idek how i wrote it. dear lord this is so cheesy. but i found it enjoyable and i hope you do too..?
you have been warned.
The whole night was more than what we could ask for. After taking our wedding photos, the reception took place. Eventually, Y/N and I were the only ones standing in the room about to have our first dance.
The upbeat music started to fade and there was a pause.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Broken?" I turned to my bride, who's eyes were fixed somewhere else. But her happy expression remained. I followed her gaze, seeing Zoe and another guest--one of the bridesmaids-- getting set up near the DJ stand. My sister's guitar was plugged into the speakers.
"Holy shit..." I gasped, starting to grin.
"Are they gonna.." Y/N muttered, her mouth hanging open.
Zoe made eye contact with me and Y/N before slipping on the guitar strap. She tapped the microphone.
"Hello- oh wow, this works really well." She giggled as Jared adjusted the volume behind the stand. "So a good friend of mine and I wanted to surprise the two lovers standing here. I wanted to do something special, especially since I was given the role of the Maid of Honor. Congratulations to my brother and new sister."
[you may play the music if you wish]
Everyone gave a polite clap as Zoe began to pluck the guitar strings in a soft tune to the same song we had chosen.
Because of what we've been through, I never would've considered the fact that my sister would actually surprise me on my wedding day.
I guess that's what made me appreciate a million times more.
"Oh shit, maybe I should've kept the shoes on..." Y/N looked down at her bare feet. She walked into the reception hall without her veil too.
"Hey, I know I'm a bad dancer, but I promise I won't step on your feet." I told her, making her giggle.
"No, I know you won't. I trust you." As she bit her lip, Y/N took my right hand and led me to the middle of the room where the light shined brightest.
She was truly stunning.
I placed my other hand at the back of her waist, and her hands clasped behind my neck and we let the music move us.
"Hey, maybe tonight, I won't bump into a table." Y/N laughed softly.
I grinned back. "It better not be the one with the cake."
"Oh, I would never!"
"Would you apologize?"
"To everyone because of the cake? Or the table? Both, probably," Another giggle came from her before she rested her head on my chest. Then she cleared her throat. "But Connor Murphy, stopping and being with someone in a hallway isn't the same as bumping into someone physically, but if I bumped into you and I knew it would lead to this, I wouldn't be sorry."
Her eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a million beats.
"I don't know what I'll do if I hear one of those romantic ass comments come out of your mouth," I said, inches away from her mouth.
"You're gonna be hearing so much more by the time we're out of this building," Y/N replied. "So... you're gonna have to be dealing with that."
Now words also failed at this time, so I leaned in for a kiss. I felt Y/N's lips brush against mine before she kissed back, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Dear Y/N," I began quietly, "I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around. Sincerely me."
I spun her around once more, and when Y/N came back closer, she stared deeply into my eyes and said, "Dear Connor, I never let each second go by without me loving you. I couldn't ask for anything more than this. Sincerely me."
Neither could I.
"What's that look for?" She asked, making me snap out of my trance that made me hold my gaze in her eyes.
I didn't even realize I was smiling so wide like an idiot before my cheeks started to hurt. "I feel lucky."
"Me too," She said quietly before her lips attached onto mine again.
Everything was fitting and easily fell into place, it was hard to believe uneasiness or worry even existed.
And they did, Y/N and I both knew that.
But the gentle plucking of guitar strings, the lights above us looking like fireflies, giving Y/N the occasional twirls during some parts (of course, being careful not to step on her feet), my fragile touch against Y/N's side and her just as delicate one on my skin—it all allowed us to be free. To feel free.
Even just for now, because we weren't far away from each other.
Even if this moment was the end of everything—of all things to come, I wouldn't mind feeling free, knowing
Y/N wasn't a million worlds apart from me, and I wasn't far away from her.
*******
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
*******
"There's a dock next to a pond just outside the building," I took both of
Y/N's hands as I took her aside from the dance floor.
Her eye's widened. "Do you want to..?"
"Only if you do." I shrugged, looking around the room we were in. Most people were occupied, having fun dancing, drinking, or deep in conversation.
"No one would notice." She said eagerly with a smirk. "Alrighty then. Lead us to this magical world that you found."
"It's not that magical. They'll probably be some fish in the water but that's about it." I snickered as she playfully slapped my shoulder. "Okay, follow me Y/N."
I felt her hand tightly squeeze mine as we made our way through the room, making sure not to bump into anything or anyone, our path only being illuminated by soft but colorful lights.
We came across the door that we entered from to get into the reception room. Pushing it open, I noticed that some other guests were getting drunk off their ass outside the room.
"Those are my cousins," Y/N snorted quietly. "My aunt's gonna be pissed once she gets a look at them."
"Hey, I talked to them for a while. Decent people." Turning left, I found the glass door at the end of the hallway that led to the pond.
Once we were outside, surrounded by the comforting nighttime, I led Y/N down the stone path to the small dock. We kicked around small pebbles and gravel as we got closer. The moon shone down upon the clear water as the fireflies danced slightly above the surface.
I turned back to her, and she was clearly speechless.
"Oh my- This is beautiful...!" She gawked, skipping ahead of me, but suddenly stumbling over the wood.
At the speed of light I grabbed her bicep. "Jesus, Y/N, careful,"
"I'm okay, thanks," She grinned up at me, her eyes still lit up. "Okay, total bullshit when you said this place wasn't magical. How did you know this was here?"
"Well, I decided to do some looking around the venue while we were still choosing where to have our wedding," I explained, standing next to her at the edge of the dock. "I saw the door, went outside, and found this place. It's too small to have the actual ceremony, but I just thought it had a nice atmosphere and look to it."
"'Nice' is an understatement," Y/N chuckled as she sat down, letting her bare feet hang just over the water. I copied her action.
"This is... amazing. You'd think people would come out here to do other stuff, though. Like smoke or something."
"Well, maybe it happened at some other wedding."
"And some other couple came out here to escape everything?"
"Maybe," I held my head down but made eye contact with her. "Maybe the couple weren't married yet. Maybe one proposed to the other."
"I wouldn't be surprised," Y/N's hands gripped at the edge as she swung her legs. "It's a beautiful place for a proposal. Or a date."
"I agree," I exhaled. My gaze returned to the sky, and I was able to make out one little star that appeared, before many others showing up later.
"It's kinda odd how there are an infinite amount of stars in the universe, but only some of them show up in the sky. Like, a select few are in the sky, which are the ones that we see, but we're seeing some out of who knows how many!" My bride knit her eyebrows together as she stared deep into the night, full of thought and curiosity.
Y/N shifted and turned to see me staring at her. Then I tilted my head, processing the thought.
"Hm, I guess. Now you got me deep in thought here." I chuckled.
"Sorry, too philosophical?"
"No, it's cool. It really is an interesting concept." I paused, leaning back as my gaze returned to the topic of our conversation stretched out above us. "But when you think about it, no matter how many stars you see in the sky."
"Hm?" I felt Y/N's head gently rest on my shoulder as her fingers walked in my hand. "Elaborate."
"Well, it doesn't really matter how many of them are in the sky because it'll still be the same sky. Same with it's color. It's still gonna have the sun shining, the clouds pouring out rain, all that."
Lifting her head and meeting my eyes, Y/N said softly, "I guess it's the same sky I met you under, too."
"You guess?"
"I know,"
She kissed me deeply and I cupped her cheek. Her thumb gently caressed the back of my hand when I pulled back.
Both chuckling, I held Y/N next to me as she got comfortable. It was quiet enough to where we could hear an orchestra of crickets around us, and the ripples of water when the bugs touched the dark blue surface.
I then broke our comforting silence with a small chuckle. "Why do we always do this?"
Y/N turned to me, with a smile as charming as herself, inside and out. "What?"
"Like, we always do this on public events, even at our own wedding," My laugh grew. "Escape somewhere, just the two of us. It's like, inevitable."
"I've noticed that," She giggled. She kicked her legs as they dangled over the edge. The moon's reflection was visible in the water. "I guess that's just us. We're weird like that, y'know? I never really had a problem with it. I assume you never did, either, right?"
"Bingo," I stared across the water before I felt my fingers intertwine with hers.
No words came out after that. There wasn't a need for them. After all these years together, it was just so normal. Weird to others, but it was just for us, only us. And it didn't have to matter.
Y/N matters. She never fixed me, but just helped me realize that I mattered too.
•••
e n d