Y/N sighed. It was the elephant on the whole office floor. The truth was, she felt very bad. She did understand why Yoongi did what he did. In his position she probably would've done the same thing. But seeing Ashley's face on the screen like that....it had brought back so many memories and feelings that she still hadn't dealt with. Could you ever fully deal with shit like this? And it had made her wonder...it had made her question....was this why he was so nice to her? Did he see her as an easy target because of her past? Someone who could be manipulated into anything? It probably hadn't been fair to assume that about him, nothing he'd done would give you that impression if you assumed the best of him.
But Y/N had many experiences with this and none of them were good, it was natural for her to not assume the best.
She sighed. They needed to talk. But first things first.
-
Yoongi had gotten no sleep last night, he'd felt so bad. Instead he'd spent it making phone calls to contacts all over the world, making some of them grumble at his timing. It had been pointless, nothing had come of it.
He'd spent most of the morning just blankly staring out the window, kicking himself for his stupidity. End the life of someone who had a hit out on them? He didn't think twice. Leave a tablet out and upsetting their secretary? He was second-guessing every decision he'd made that day. He shouldn't have left it out...he shouldn't have been trying to be so friendly with her in the first place...he shouldn't have been helping her out...
He was jarred out of his thoughts by a hesitant knock on his door. He licked his lips nervously. He had a pretty good idea of who was on the other side of it.
"Come in." The door opened to reveal Y/N who stepped inside and shut it behind herself. She stood there for a second, as if summoning the energy to turn and face him, but finally did. In her hand was a cup of coffee and she quickly placed it on the desk and backed away. She was second-guessing coming in here. Maybe it was better to just not deal with it, maybe she should have pretended nothing happened...
"What's this?" Yoongi asked, caught off guard.
"Um...your coffee order." She said quietly.
"Oh." He reached out and turned the cup so the coffeehouse logo faced him. There was an awkward silence. "I'm sorry." He said finally. She didn't scream or stomp out the door so he took a deep breath and continued. "I'm not sorry I looked into it. I still feel that was necessary. It's dangerous for us to not know things like that about the people we employ. But..." He wasn't looking at her. "...I am sorry for leaving it out. I'm sorry for subjecting you to that again. I should've thought it through better." Still nothing. He rubbed his face tiredly. "I know you won't believe me but I don't want you to leave. I want you here. Having you around has made things better in the past couple weeks and I don't want that to change. So...." He stopped. "...I know I don't have the right to ask but please don't leave because I'm a thoughtless jackass." Y/N couldn't deny that the thought of leaving had crossed her mind but...again, other people relied on her. She couldn't just make decisions for herself.
"I'm not leaving." She said quietly and Yoongi sagged in relief. She wasn't sure what to say beyond that, honestly Yoongi had surprised her a little. She'd expected some criticism of her reaction and maybe a bit of a screaming match but...an actual apology?
"Are you okay?" He asked, unsure if the question would scare her off. Anyone who knew the truth about him would've laughed. One of the best hitmen in the country, fumbling for words in front of the woman who worked for him. Y/N was brought out of her thoughts by the question. She shrugged.
"I'm back to normal." Yoongi pursed his lips and looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "I'm not going to go on about it. No offense but I barely know you and this isn't something I open up about." He nodded in understanding.
"Well..." He felt like he shouldn't just leave it like this. "....do you want a hug?" She looked at him like he'd gone nuts. "From a friend." He said quickly, spreading in his arms in a helpless gesture. "I'm not interested in you, I'm not looking for an excuse to touch you. I'm not out to manipulate you to get into your pants." He said, referencing her words from the night before. "I just....feel like I should do a bit more than this." He waved his fingers vaguely, meaning his apology.
"Um...okay." Y/N had never encountered something like this before and wasn't sure what to make of it as Yoongi walked around his desk and gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing her into his upper chest. Y/N hesitated for a long moment, unsure.
"This is weird..." She mumbled.
"It'd be less weird if you hugged me back." Yoongi chuckled softly. He was pretty sure she was debating but her arms finally sliding around his back told him what she'd decided. He couldn't help but squeeze her tight, even though his ribs protested a little. "When's the last time someone gave you a hug?" Y/N thought for a moment.
"Some people tried at the funeral." She shuddered. "Fucking liars." The vitriol she spit was enough to bring Yoongi out of his thoughts. He released her and stepped back, rubbing his neck.
"So...more scanning?" He asked, to get their minds off of the previous discussion.
"Yep. I'm making you work till you're better." She teased gently.