Title: Phase
Author: ChemicalNoise
Genre: Thriller/Short Story
Summary: Sean Trekker has lived in the same place doing the same thing for a long time. One day something different happens and it feels so unrealistic but it's the realest thing he's experienced with his stay at this place. Is this actual reality, is he crazy, or is he just dreaming?
My view:
Simplistic title and descriptions can be very deceiving. Because despite it, this story is utterly brilliant.
From the very first sentence… ‘Stop. Wait a minute – no, rewind. The clock kept ticking my time away, faster and faster until – bang.’ To the very end of the first part, it’s fantastic.
Original and well written, I found myself absorbed in this story about ‘Trekker’s’ life.
Some parts, I found myself a little lost and confused, especially when he talks about time, but other than that, I found this to be a good read and one that I’d recommend to you and you – and you in the back there with the afro. Yeah, you.
I had only one small problem with this as an overall… is the overkill on the vocabulary. I understand adding more descriptive and ‘big’ words to make your writing sound more impressive, but all that happens is that you get readers becoming confused. I’ve done it a million times before. Come across someone who uses the longest words possible. And I find myself pausing, going to google and trying to find out what the hell it means.
That’s one thing you do not want to do – make your reader feel stupid and incapable of understanding what you’re writing in any kind of way.
I’m not saying write your stories as if you’re talking to a three year old or an illiterate chav, but please don’t overuse big words in the hopes of sounding more intelligent.
Out of ten? Seven. And a half.