[ Real Life ]
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11 days passed.
11 days of going to the hospital back and forth. You'd be lying if you said you completely bonded with Iris, but you were getting there.
Guilt had eaten you up but was pushed down a little with every therapy session.
Harry knew you still weren't comfortable enough. You weren't as good as new and he found himself wondering if you were ever going to go back to how you were before the incident.
The kids missed you. For being only two and 7 months, they were smart. They knew something wasn't fine.
They knew it when you didn't smile as big, you didn't kiss them goodnight, only hugged them. You were quiet.
And maybe that's why your fridge had more colourful scribbles on paper on it, each one a gift from the twins. Evangeline had picked a bouquet of flowers with Harry, kissing you sloppily on the cheek as she struggled to hold it up before putting it on your lap.
"Flowers for Mummy." She had said.
Tommy played with your hair. Everyday.
It was how you and Harry made him sleep and boy did he love it when you played with his hair.
He saw his Daddy doing it too so it had to be something right.
Iris had been improving, finally moving out of the NICU and the news made you fidgety.
Harry was ecstatic; eyes glimmering with happiness and relief and dimples poking out and on display.
One final thing had to be tried and if it worked, you were going to go home with your baby — you were going to breastfeed her.
You gripped Harry's hand, feeling sorry for him because you probably cut off his blood circulation but he didn't seem to mind.
You saw the nurse approaching you, Iris in her arms in her yellow onesie as you sat on the hospital bed.
You gulped, feeling Harry squeeze your hand supportively.
"There we go, Mummy." The nurse beamed, handing Iris to you gently, letting you cradle her in your arms. "You can ring us if you need anything." With that being said, she was then out of the room.
"Want me to leave?" Harry asked softly, running his knuckles so gently on your baby's cheek, looking at you.
You paused for a moment, and Harry almost got ready to leave. "No." It was soft and genuine.
His heart fluttered, looking at you as you looked down on the squirming baby who wanted to her food. He smiled, reaching to put his hand on your neck, his thumb grazing your bottom lip, making you look at him. "You can do it."
You stared at him for a few seconds, letting his words sink in. You exhaled, nodding slowly. You unbuttoned your shirt, brought your hair to the other side with a huff as it kept falling on your face. Harry stood, bringing it back before tying it with the hair tie he stole from you a year ago and always wore it around his wrist, going for a loose low bun.
"Thank you." You smiled, taking off your bra and putting it beside you.
You placed Iris correctly, guiding her towards your nipple. You didn't know what you were expecting. Of course she wouldn't latch right away.
"Come on, hungry bird." You whispered, propping her up.
You tried again, and again, and again.
Harry bit his lip nervously, getting jittery as he eyed you cautiously.
"She doesn't want to lat-" You almost cried, your emotional state getting the best of you, when she wrapped her mouth around you, beginning to slowly get the hang of it, "There you go, petal. There you go."
Harry let out a sigh of relief, slumping down in his seat.
You smiled softly, leaning back slowly against the propped up pillow as you watched your baby begin to eat. "We're hungry, aren't we?" You're gentle, bringing your hand up to softly graze her skin.
You turned to look at Harry and no words needed to be spoken. Harry looked at you as if you put the stars in the sky, as if breastfeeding your baby was a miracle he was lucky enough to witness.
He had seen you breastfeed the twins numerous times, always thinking it was a whole level of intimacy and he loved how it always left him breathless because you just looked so beautiful. You glowed.
And seeing you breastfeed Iris, after everything you've been through and the uncertainty and insecurity, he almost burst out crying.
But it all felt comforting. Like an "I told you so" from fate that it would, in fact, get better.
And sleeping, full, Iris was full proof.
Him helping you wear your clothes after you were done and clean was proof.
You cradling Iris in your arms, an hour after she was fed, with her baby bag around his shoulder as you got ready to go home with your baby was proof.
Since your visits to the hospital were private as the palace ordered privacy from paparazzi, going home was peaceful. Not only was it peaceful, it was also a surprise to your friends and family and most importantly — the twins.
Once you and Harry entered through the door, you were greeted by the nanny Kate had recommended a week ago to help with the twins, seen as you weren't in your normal state yet and given the circumstances.
Poppy gasped excitedly, covering her mouth in shock as she saw you enter with the baby peacefully sleeping, cradled to your chest. "Oh my goodness!" She whisper yelled, "Is that...?"
You chuckled softly, nodding. "It's Iris."
"I didn't know she was coming home today. Congratulations, your highness." She beamed, "Can I-Can I come closer?"
Harry laughed quietly under his breath, hanging his keys. "We don't bite, Poppy."
"Oh no, that's not what I meant, I promise. I meant that since you're royal-"
You rolled your eyes with a friendly smile, "Thought we've gone past that stage, Pops. Come take a look at her. It's alright."
She smiled appreciatively, approaching you before looking at your baby. "She's so beautiful." She gasped, "Looks like an angel."
Harry stared down at Iris, smiling to himself. "She is."
"Are the twins awake?" You asked, now the three of you beginning to walk inside.
"Yes, they're both outside playing with the slide and the dogs."
You sat down gently on the sofa as to not disturb the sleeping baby, looking up at Harry, "Think we should let them meet now."
Harry grinned, nodding. "I'll go call them."
You turn to look at Poppy, leaning your head back, "Did they give you a hard time?"
"Are you kidding? They're so peaceful and polite. I love being around them. Quite cheeky and funny," She smiled, "You and Mr. Harry did an amazing job."
"Thank you, Poppy," You smile, "Although we told you to call us just Y/N and Harry."
She pursed her lips, nodding. "Right." She pointed at you, "You're right, Y/N."
"Now how does that feel?" You teased.
"Rule breaking."
"Daddy, where we going?" You heard Eva ask.
"There's someone Mummy and I want you to meet."
"Who?" Tommy asked next, "Mummy where?"
You looked back at your children, catching their attention and smiling widely when they squealed, dragging Harry's hands eagerly towards you.
Eva reached you first, going to hug you when she suddenly realised that your hands were a little full. Tommy looked surprised, staring intently at the baby in your arms.
"What's that?" Eva asked, "Doll?"
Harry laughed, bending down in front of you between the twins, "This is your baby sister. This is Iris."
"This is my sister?" Tommy asked, pointing at himself with a gasp before slowly approaching you and climbing the sofa to sit next to you and take a closer look.
Eva was gobsmacked. Mouth open as she inspected the newest addition. Neither you nor Harry expected it when she plopped down on her bum on the ground, face twisting as she began crying.
Your eyes widened, leaning forward slightly as Harry hurried to her, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"She's so pretty." Eva cried, standing to look at her sister again before wiping her eyes, "I love you, Iris." She said slowly as she cried, making tears well up in your eyes as you witnessed how emotional she got.
"Hi, Iris," Tommy whispered, "I'm Tommy. I'm your brother," He grinned, leaning down, "Can I kiss you?"
"She's asleep, baby and she's still a baby, she can't talk," You cooed, "But you can kiss her."
"But she has to say yes."
"She wants you to, baby." Harry replied proudly, thinking that your two year old son understands consent more than most adults.
Tommy leaned down, softly kissing Iris's forehead. "Love you."
Eva wrapped her arm around Harry's shoulders, leaning her head on his as she looked at her sister, "Wakey wakey."
The twins -and Harry- were glued to you for the rest of the night, squealing and clapping when Iris woke up which might have alerted the tiny baby for a few moments before staring at them. They gushed over her the entire time, showering her with compliments and Tommy even danced for her at some point.
One thing you noticed was how Harry was yet to carry Iris. You knew he felt nervous, as if he'd cause her harm because of how tiny she was. Which is why, you had to make him face the music.
"H, can you hold her for a second? I need to use the loo." You said, catching his eyes.
Harry's eyes widened slightly in surprise, eyebrows going up as he sat up from the sofa beside you. "Uh, you can place her rocker, I'll keep an eye on her."
"You know she's not used to it that much. Cried a waterfall when we placed her in it this morning, didn't she?" You try to hide your small smile as he bit the inside of his cheek. "There." You place her in his arms, eyes on him and not missing as he gulped.
You got up, walking inside your ensuite and not fully closing the door, stopping right behind it and stomping your feet twice so it'd look like you went inside before you peaked through the small space, looking at Harry as he cradled Iris, looking down at her.
"I was so worried," Harry spoke quietly to Iris, "So worried about you and Mummy," He clarified, "You were too excited to see us, weren't you, Petal?" He chuckled, "Going to be there for you forever. Always," Harry promised, leaning down to softly graze her forehead with his lips, "Daddy loves you, so much."
It was safe to say that you were crying as watched Harry interact with your youngest child. Something about the way he held her told you that this one was going to touch a different emotional depth for you and Harry.
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Liked by emmamondsuk and 231 others
isthataladybug: the last period of time has been rough. i can't lie and say i'm completely over almost losing Iris and i don't know if i ever will. but you tend to forget about every bad thing the moment your baby is in your arms. Iris was finally left to go home today. Eva and Tommy are willing to do anything for their sister and it was such a sight to see. this is Tommy cuddling Iris because he "loves when mummy and daddy duddle" him and this is Eva making "tea" (water) for her sister to welcome her home. thank you for your prayers and love, it means the world to me. @harrystyles thank you for everything, i love you. x
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annetwist Incredible news and wonderful twins! Hope you feel better soon, darling. You're handling this very well❤️
trev.vor94 you both raised the kindest twins on this earth and you should be damn proud of it. welcome home, baby Iris! can't wait to meet her! and stay as strong, Y/N. you're an icon💖
freddiejrprince92 so happy for you ! you're one of the strongest mamas out there, princess. the twins are going to be her best friends x
niallhoran Amazing ! Congratulations on the improvement, mates. You both are incredible parents ❤️
hihelloitsfarraah i'm so proud of you. good to have you back, sister💜 can't wait to meet that little nipper!!
henrydave915 sometimes i can't believe how kind these two are then i realise that it isn't hard to be kind when you have a set of parents like yourself and harry. over the moon about the youngest niece. love you, Tiny ❤️
calumhood ❤️
ashtonirwin What an icon❤️❤️❤️
emmamondsuk i'm crying rn. you deserve all the happiness in the world. i love this family with all of my heart💓
notaregulardadwills3 This is wonderful! Proud of you, Tiny. We're always close if you need any help. ❤️
avva.hall i'm so fucking lucky to call you my best friend
merawithoutaquaman i'm so happy for you!!!!
harrystyles No words could ever describe how proud I am of you. This family is standing and the way it is because of you. You're a role model to the kids, to so many people, and to me. So in love with you. xx
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petal is home!!!