Mr./Mrs.Wingman, bring me my crush. And oh please oh please do not fuck up.
Ana:
-as subtle as a grandma can be
-aka she makes it obvious
-little winks at you when she comments on how amazing you are in front of your crush
-provides grandma wisdom aka she snoops about for info on your crush
Ashe:
-she won't do it unless she gets something in return
-creates an elaborate plan and has B.O.B set it up
-this 'plan' is just her kidnapping your poor crush and yelling at them for how they cannot see how amazing you are
Balptiste:
-he is the master of subtel
-when healing your crushes wounds, he talks about you and how your a great person
-he times the conversation just right so your crush doesn't wonder why he's talking about you
Bastion:
-he teases you about it with a robo bow chica wow wow every time your crush passes by and your near
-no hints, no words, just robo tunes
-let's just say, he is not the best omnic to ask to be your wingman
B.O.B:
-he doesn't see why you need his help on discretely finding out whether or not your crush likes you
-instead, he urges you to ask yourself
-it's also because he can't talk, but either way he pushes you to ask your crush out
Brigitte:
-she tells you you should make something for your crush
-she also helps you make it and asks your crush what he/she likes
-when your crush asks why they want to know this stuff, she says "no reason."
-so yea not very discrete
D.Va:
-she doesn't know what to do
- so you two play some dating simulators to get an idea on what not to do
-Hana runs a poll on one of her social medias to see what her fans want you to do
Doomfist:
-he's honored that you asked, but he's also confused on why you would ask him
-let's just say he's not good with words
-every time your crush passes by with you around, he calls him/her stupid
Genji:
-he tries to suggest to your crush to hang out with you more
-but he's skeptical so he goes to Zenyatta for help
-hours of meditation and tranquility later, he thinks his idea is ok
-he done does it tho, with ninja like caution
Hanzo:
-he broods a hole bunch but he helps... sorta
- he gives your crush the death stare when he crosses paths with them
-long story short, he admits to your crush that you have a crush on them when he's drunk on sake
Junkrat:
-same unsubtlety as Ana but W O R S E
-the Australian accent only accents the unsubtlety
-"WHY ROADIE LOOK AT Y/N! ISN'T SHE THE GREATEST?! I'D BE LUCKY IF SHE HAD A CRUSH ON ME!" *winks at your crush*
-then he constantly teases you about your crush in any way he can
Lucio:
-He is all about being the ultimate wingman
-he will suggest a love song and help you make one for them
-he will talk about you nonstop with your crush (can't stop won't stop)
-yea he's got your back
McCree:
-his suggestion is to get your crush real drunk and tell him how you feel, if all fails at least he won't remember what happened to him
-all of his suggestions involve alcohol
-his best plan was to simply be yourself and ask him/her out
Mei:
-she can't keep a secret at all
-she'll explode like a time bomb when she sees you and your crush in the same room
-"Y/N HAS A CRUSH ON-" luckily snowball can keep Mei occupied long enough to save you from potential embarrassment
-She genuinely thinks you should talk to him/her about your feelings... before she tells the truth
Mercy:
-she's excited that you chose her, because she has wings so she was MADE to be the wingwoman
-She likes to be a little hint hint wink wink about it when she is treating your crush in the medical wing
-"I've heard Y/N is going to the beach this weekend, I'm thinking about joining her. Do you want to come along, too?" and then she backs out last minute so you can hang with your crush
Moira:
-she's kinda like "ew love is weird" but she'll help
-long story short, she decides to scare your crush and have you come save them from her mad scientist ways
-after you yell at her a bunch, she's like "you didn't tell me what not to do", ultimately defeating the purpose of the plan (cause your crush was in the room when you were yelling at moira) and having you admit to your crush you have a crush on them
Orisa:
-She installed a wingman program especially for you
-but she took it too literally
-now you know how to be a wingman on an airplane and NOT HOW TO CONFESS TO YOUR CRUSH DAMNIT ORISA
Pharah:
-she's into being the wingman
-goes for asking your crush on what they think of you when your busy training
-then she compliments you a little bit
-and she sticks the landing by saying "You should go ask what she's doing after this, I can see you two doing well together"
Reaper:
-Captain America: so, you asked the emo grandpa to be your wingman.
-He may listen to My Chemical Romance, but that does not make him romantic at all
-If he were younger, he'd be the guy to ask but now he's a grumpy grown ass man going through an emo phase
-He's like FINE after you beg a shit ton of times
-He gets you and your crush together by assigning you two together frequently, but warns you to not get too distracted or else your on his list
Reinhardt:
-he loves love and is willing to help you out
-he's gonna tell your crush he thinks you like him/her (like the ded moto moto meme) over some laughs and some beer
-he's gonna push your crush like "GO TO Y/N, LOVE CONQUERS ALL!"
Roadhog:
-He's too awkward to be the wingman
-He doesn't understand why you asked him out of all ppl
-goes like this: *stares at your crush intimidatingly* hey uh Y/n seems like a cool person... You should ask them out..."
-He hates you for making him do that
Soldier:76:
-he tells you to ask someone else but your consistent on him being your wingman
-"I'm too old for this" as he shakes hands with you in agreement
-he is like a mix of roadhog and reaper
-He'll put you and your crush on the same team and make some awkward ass smart talk with your crush about you saying like "you two work well together, eh?"
Sombra:
-she's holding your crush as blackmail if you don't do what she wants first
-you did what she wanted so she'll help you
-long story short, she sets your crush on a blind date with you and you think your going to hang out with her but NOPE it's your crush OH SHIT
Symmetra:
-she's like "you have a crush on this imbecile?"
-she starts helping you when you say you'll find another perfect wingman
-she pulls a Doomfist and insults them for being blind as to not see you have a crush on them infront of you
-she was done with the bullshit and wanted to get to the point
Torbjorn:
-he's like ABOUT TIME cause he's super nosey about this kinda stuff and overheard from some of your friends about your little crush
-he then tells you you have to tell them yourself
-don't worry tho cause you practices asking your crush out with him before you put the plan into action
Tracer:
-she is super happy about this cause she never thought anyone would ask
-then you find out why
-she got so excited she said "I'M GONNA HELP Y/N ASK (your crush's name) OUT!" just as your crush walked in
-fUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Widowmaker:
-"I'm here to kill, not to help hopeless love." but you tell her you'll buy her some expensive French wine so she goes FINE and helps
-she is like roadhog, she is awkward as SHIT
-"look at y/n, she is um pretty good at shooting at people."
-she has no emotions so her voice sounds like a sarcastic French person
Winston:
-he's surprised but happy to help
-he punches in numbers, calculates data, and finally comes to the conclusion on how to ask your crush out and be the ULTIMATE WINGMAN
-downside it's been a few months that you already asked your crush out....
Wreckingball:
-he's like "im a hamster"
-you convince him with the power of FOOD
-he tries to be smooth but the translator makes it sound terrible
-"the hamster feels that Y/N is sexually attractive" or "the hamster thinks y/n and (your crush) should have intercourse."
Zarya:
-she's like "I'll aid my comrade into having potential spouse
-she is pretty direct about it
-she goes up to your crush and says "Y/n likes you" while your in the room
-then she pushes you two together and says "talk"
Zenyatta:
-he says love is a spiritual path and something about tranquility but then he says I'll help you out so wow thanks for the speech
-he advises you to meditate on the problem before you act, making sure you have no second thoughts about what you'll do
- then he makes sure you confident enough by bringing forth your closest friends to cheer you on and then making sure your confident about yourself too
-Once your ready, he'll send you on your way