When I get home, I have no expectations.
Thankfully, it looked like no one was home. I crept up the stairs, my legs aching. My body was sore from sleeping against the door last night. When I got to my room the first thing I did was put my phone on the charger.
I had every intention of sleeping, but there was something bothering me.
My vision about Elizabeth Locke. I wanted answers. Mir and Kate had to take Erik his truck back, but Mir said she would come over later. I could ask her for help, looking into who the girl was and why her family wanted to kill Mercy's Descendants. Also, what was up with their clothing?
I bit my lip on accident.
"Shit," I touched my bottom lip. There was blood. Great, just great. I walk to the bathroom, annoyed with everything. I clean myself up and decide to go to the library. I didn't need to wait for anyone to come over. I didn't need protection. I had the Amulet and my visions were back.
I grabbed my purse and headed for my car.
I was done being the damsel in distress everyone thought I was.
~~~
The library reminded me of when Daniel and I had come here. I can't believe I had been so naive: about my heritage with Witches and Daniel. Looking back now, I should have seen the signs that Daniel was Cursed. Honestly, I should have realized Levi was more sinister than a ghost looking for help moving on.
I had been so stupid.
"Can I help you find anything?" The librarian asks me as I walk aimlessly through the rows of books.
"Yes," I say a little too loud. "Um, where are the Family Trees located? I've seen them before, but I can't remember which way they are." Daniel had shown me my Family Tree before, showing me I was related to Sarah Good. I had a hunch about something and I needed to see it to confirm.
"From the Salem Witch Trials?" Her eyes perk up. I nod and then sigh. Everyone here is way too obsessed with those stupid Trials. "Follow me," she leads me through a maze of books until we reach the back office.
None of this looks familiar.
"We recently moved all of those documents in the back," she explains. "Apparently, some families didn't want it to be public knowledge." She answers with a shrug. I have an inkling it was Daniel's family. They probably don't want more people knowing they are Cursed.
"I get that," I find myself saying. She raises an eyebrow at me.
"You must be related to one of the accused." She decides based off of my sour mood.
"Yup, I'm related to Sarah Good." Why am I telling her this? I blame it on my lack of sleep. Her eyes widen with delight.
"Really? Wow, that must be super exciting." I take a deep breath in. Usually, I would have found her excitement somewhat charming, but right now I just find it annoying. I should have stayed home and taken a nap. "You know, there's a theory that Sarah Good really was a Witch."
I don't move. Is she serious?
"Spooky, right?" Then she laughs. "Anyways, here's all the information you were looking for. I'll leave you to it, please lock up when you leave." She seems sweet enough. She probably doesn't really believe in Witches.
Still, it was cryptic.
She shut the door behind her. I finally relaxed when she was gone.
I looked through the folders, trying to find the one my Gran had submitted. Of course, it wasn't alphabetized. It took me several minutes, but eventually, I found it. My fingers enclosed around the manilla folder.
There were things that didn't make sense. If you followed my mom to Evanora, that part made sense, but then it got weird. Gran had definitely forged this, making it look like we were related to Dorcas. That part didn't really matter because I saw the name I had been looking for and I knew it wasn't forged:
"Elizabeth Locke." Next to her name was: Born 1874-1893. How was that possible? I didn't see the past. I only saw the future! Did the spell we do break my visions? I needed to talk to my Coven. Even if that was the last thing I wanted to do.
I looked back at the piece of paper in my hand.
She was only nineteen when she died. It turns out she had three brothers: Samuel and Jonathan, who I had met in my vision, and a younger brother Logan Locke. It looked like Logan was the only Locke that had children and carried on the line.
That was -- interesting.
Why had I seen the vision of Elizabeth ten years before she died? What did that matter? Did it have anything to do with her being my great-something cousin?
I took photos of the family tree. I would have to look at this later.
I left, after putting everything back the way I found it. Then, as requested, I locked the door and shut it behind me. What if being able to see the past was my powers advancing? I exhaled, almost running out of the library.
When I walked through the door, I almost ran into Gran. She smiled brightly at me.
"Good afternoon, Little Bird, how are you?" I touch my heart, it's racing like crazy. Gran is wearing an all-red outfit, looking fabulous.
"I-I uh am okay. I was going to go upstairs." She doesn't question me and lets me pass. I'm halfway upstairs when I stop. What if Gran could answer some of my questions? "Hey, Gran?" I turn back.
"Yes, Little Bird?" She meets me at the bottom of the stairs.
"Do you think it's possible to see the past?" Maybe it isn't possible and it's just a coincidence.
She purses her lips and tilts her head to the side.
"I haven't ever heard of a Witch possessing that power," I falter. "That doesn't mean it's impossible. One thing I know for certain is that nothing is certain." She doesn't ask me why I'm asking her. She must already know.
She squeezes my shoulder, comforting me.
"Thanks, Gran." She nods and disappears into the kitchen. I know she's starting tea even before I hear her fill the kettle with water. It's tempting to follow her, instead, I go to my room. There's something I need to do.
Once in my room, I turn my phone on.
There are too many messages to read them all. Honestly, I don't want to read them. It's too painful. I erase my inbox completely and dial Addie's number. This can't be done over text. She picks up before the first ring finishes.
"Corn!" She exclaims.
"Hi, Addie."
"I am so sorry, I heard what happened." She's quiet for a moment. "You know I had no idea right? I feel asleep right after you. I feel really bad though. I was the one that told you to go for it with Erik and--
"It's not your fault." I cut her off. She can't blame herself. "I don't blame you at all. Honestly, I'm not even mad at Erik." I confess. My door is cracked open a little, so I get up to shut it. I don't want anyone to hear me, especially Dara.
"Really? Are you going to call him too?" That's a good question. "He's really devastated, which I know isn't a good excuse. He knows he messed up." I didn't know if that made me feel better or worse.
"I'll call him." I finally say.
"Do you want me to let you go?" She asked me after a couple of moments of silence.
"I don't, but I guess I should call him." I rub my forehead. I'm dreading and anxious about talking to Erik. Although, as soon as I talk to him and get this sorted out, the sooner I can talk to the Coven about my vision.
I am tempted to tell Addie right there, but I hold my tongue.
I can only handle one crisis at a time.
Right now, calling Erik proceeds my visions. If what I saw was from the 1800s then it could wait a couple more days. Plus, I was almost sure my vision didn't have anything to do with Dara plotting to kill me. It could wait.
"Good luck, he's been at the lake all day." Of course, I should have guessed he would be there. It was as much his place as it was mine. Despite my utter fear of water, the lake was calming. I had a lot of memories of Erik and Addie there. I wonder if that's why he went there today.
"He's there now?" I ask her. I heard her get up. From her bedroom window, she has a full view of the lake.
"Yup, looking super sad." I didn't really want to drive again, but the lake wasn't that far of a walk. Plus, it would give me time to think about what to say.
"I think I'll just walk over there. If my talk with Erik turns tragic, can I hang with you?" No matter how our talk ends, I know Addie and I will still be friends. It doesn't make the conversation I am about to have any easier. If anything, it made it harder. I didn't just have my feelings to consider, I had Erik and Addie's.
I sighed loudly into the microphone.
"Of course." She replies instantly. "I have a pint of Chocolate chip Ice Cream." This makes me laugh. She knows me too well.
"Thank you," I tell her sincerely.
"Good luck." I thank her, again and then we disconnect.
I can't back out now. I've already told Addie I'm going to Lake, so that's what I'll do. It's sunset, so I grab a jacket and head out. On my way out, I yell to Gran, letting her know I'm leaving. The cold air chills me to my bones, but I keep going.
For the first time today, I don't feel tired.
My mind wanders, and I look up at the sky. It's filled with cotton candy colors. The blues, purples, and pinks blend perfectly together. It was beyond serene -- perfectly tranquil. I wanted that -- uncomplicated ease. There were tiny puffs of clouds, dancing through the sky. They looked effervescent.
I could stare at the sky forever.
It was peaceful and that was something that lacked in my life.
As I got closer, I started to panic. Could I do this? Maybe I should walk around the block again. Except, that wasn't going to help. I couldn't hinder my life anymore. I was constantly standing in my own way of my happiness. If I had let myself feel the feelings I had for Erik in the first place, then none of this would have happened.
But I always did this.
I didn't want to get hurt, so I pretended not to feel.
That needed to stop.
I was so tired of being afraid all the time. I was afraid of Dara and her cult, but it expanded it past that. I was afraid of tapping into my powers and expressing the side of me that was a Witch. I was afraid of Erik and giving myself fully to my emotions. I was afraid Daniel was never going to talk to me.
My life was a ball of nerves and me being scared.
I couldn't live like that.
Addie's house came into view first, then the Lake. I stood at the edge of her driveway, unable to continue. Once again, Cornelia was going to coward out. I wasn't surprised at this. A big gust of wind blew at the moment. The cold brushed against my face, waking me up inside. It fueled my forward, continuing on this journey.
My shoulders dropped and my head was held high. I walked directly to the lake, where I saw Erik sitting on a bolder, staring into the water. He heard me coming, my feet squished against the rocks, leading to the bay. I stopped when he saw me. I didn't know if I should smile or what. I hated this awkwardness that had manifested between us.
"Cornelia? I'm so sorry. I know I'm an idiot and I want to explain if you'll let me." His eyes are puffy and his face discolored. I think it's a mixture of being hungover and crying. I've never seen a guy cry before. This makes me feel indifferent. "I am sorry, I can't tell you that enough. I truly messed up and--
"Erik, can we just talk? I'm not mad." I stated.
His eyes met mine.
Quickly, I looked away. I couldn't meet his slate stare. There were too many questions in those answers and none of them I could answer.
"What? You're not mad?" His tone clearly surprised.
I started to pace.
"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm hurt and upset and disappointed, but I'm not mad." I waved my hands up in the air. He stood up, walking towards me." I couldn't let him. "That doesn't mean what you think it means." I verify. He drops his arms down at his sides.
"That's fair." He utters.
"I think we should--
"Wait!" He begs.
"Be--
"Please, just let me explain." His eyes pleaded with me, but I couldn't.
"Friends." His gaze drops to the ground.
Now, we're both defeated.
"I was hoping what happened last night, wouldn't change your feelings for me." He told the ground deadpanned. My eyes were filled with tears that I couldn't control. I hastily wiped them away. My eyes found the sky: it was a perfect sunset. It was almost poetic it was sunset when Erik and I had this talk.
Whatever we had almost been was over.
It was a sunset of us.
"I can't ignore that you kissed Claire. I just can't, Erik." I hated that I just mentioned Erik and Claire in the same breath. There was bile rising in my throat. "But it isn't fair of me to be mad at you." He raised an eyebrow. "We were never dating or exclusion, we were only ever friends that kissed once. I can't be mad that you kissed someone else." It killed me to tell him this.
I wanted to be hugging him, but he still stunk of Claire.
"But I won't be the second choice," when I say this he tries to argue. "And I won't be with someone who still has a backup. She's your back up, Erik. How else do you explain what happened last night? You were afraid I wouldn't choose you and tell you how I felt, so you sabotaged it before I could."
He couldn't deny this.
I had been doing the same thing to him with Daniel.
We couldn't be together if we both had other people lined up in case it didn't work. We both knew what it meant if we broke up -- chaos.
I couldn't lose him.
"She means--
"Something to you, like Daniel still means something to me. We have to figure that out before anything further happens between us." He knows I'm right, but doesn't want to admit it. I can tell in those sheath colored eyes. His posture insists I'm wrong, but those eyes can't lie.
"If I could just take that stupid kiss back, I would." He vows. I believe him. I really do, except that no matter how much I believe him it doesn't take back what happened. Claire and Erik kissed -- that wasn't going to change.
I was hoping the two of us could remain friends. I would deal with Daniel and Erik could deal with Claire. The two of us had a lot of growing up to do. I really needed to self reflect. I needed to be single a little bit longer.
Last night, I had been so happy. I had been seconds -- no, words away from telling Erik how I truly felt. I had been so close, but that didn't matter. "Almosts" didn't count in the real world. I had missed my moment -- our moment. We were going to have to wait for another one to come around.
I had been wrong about timing when I said it didn't exist. Timing -- was everything, it was what spun fate and morphed into our destiny. It was our very existence. It was easier to say it wasn't real and throw myself into Erik, but that wasn't the case. It was extremely real, but that was a hard pill to swallow. That meant, that Erik and I might not be meant to be.
That was something I didn't want to think about.
Around the Carousel, one more time until we timed it perfect.
I believed in us, despite what everything else was telling me.
"I was wrong," I told him. "When I told you our kiss didn't mean anything. It did. I was too afraid to say it at the time." I told him. His mouth turned upright in a lopsided grin.
"I wish you would have told me that earlier." See, timing.
"I know, me too." We both stare at the lake. The water isn't moving, not one ripple on the large surface. How odd that the lake is completely still. "I wish a lot of things, Erik, but the one thing I wish the most is that we can still be friends." I let a tear roll down my cheek. There was no use in trying to stop them. "I c-can't lose you." He reached out to hold my hand. I didn't pull away. It was a friendly handhold, which couldn't hurt.
That was how it always started.
"Good because you're stuck with me. It's like I told you before: I'll be whatever you want me to be." I smile, revealing my teeth. It's hard not to.
"You better mean that." I tease gently.
"I do." He insisted. "C, I have no doubt that we'll be together someday." He winks and I melt. Once again, I believe him. I hope he's right because I wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak. He squeezes my hand gently, reminding me that we're still holding hands.
"I like that." I find myself confessing. I don't mean to say this, it just comes out. I don't want to give either of us false hope, but I'm rooting for us.
We sit like that for a while: hand in hand, gazing into the lake. The sun fully sets behind the lake. This causes the sky to darken, moving towards an inky blue. I'm waiting for Erik to say something else, signal that we can get up. It's freezing out, but I'm not going to be the first to suggest we leave.
After a couple more minutes, my butt is frozen to the bolder we're sitting on.
"There's one more thing," my lips curl around each word.
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good." He pretends to be nervous.
"It's serious." His smirk fades. I had been debating telling him first. I still think I should tell everyone at once, except that Erik is here and I need his advice. His annoying know-it-all personality might come in handy this time.
"Okay." He trails off, waiting for me to finish.
"I had a vision, last night. That's why I woke up and tried to find everyone. I wanted to tell you all at the same time, but I want to pick your brain about it first." I'm not intentionally being cryptic.
"That's great you had a vision! That means the spell worked. Side note: are we ever going to talk about what happened at Ivelyn's with the spell?" He's right we definitely need to talk about whatever that thing was that opened and shut the door AND drank the nasty blood-offering.
That was going to have to wait.
"We definitely need to talk about that because I've been freaked out since." We nodded, agreeing. "My vision was different this time." Even now, it's hard to describe it. If Gran hadn't heard of a Witch seeing the past, had anyone? I shivered.
"Different how?" He prods.
I take a deep breath in.
"I think I saw the past." My voice shakes as I tell him. "No, I know I saw the past. I can prove it." It would have been nice to be able to show him what I saw. Except, Gracie could! If she touched my arm, saw what I saw and then touched Erik he would see exactly what I saw.
Except, that wasn't fair to Gracie.
My visions were painful.
I wouldn't want to confuse her or put her at risk.
The less she knew the better.
"Wait, what? How? What did you see?" So, I told him the whole vision, divulging every detail I had. I wasn't going to leave anything out. It took a while, during which time the sky turned blue-black. The wind was back and the lake started to stir. It put me on edge.
"So, I went to the library and confirmed it on the Family Tree." I finished, watching his reaction.
"Wow, you're right." He stared up at me in amazement. I blushed. "You're--
"Really freaking out. I asked my Gran and she said she hasn't ever heard of a Witch being able to see the past. I don't even know what any of this means." I had to admit, I felt better after telling Erik. He always calmed my nerves.
"That doesn't mean a whole lot," he stated. "Has she heard of anyone turning into a Crow?" He had a point. Not all Main Powers were so cut and dry like being able to control Fire, like Ivelyn. Sometimes, they were less common, like Mir's ability to calm people down or Erik's ability to have an affinity for Crows.
"I guess you're right. So, does this mean my power advanced?" I was terrified but more excited than anything. He nodded. "
"Congratulations. It's a very good sign that your powers are advancing. It might be harder to tell the difference between your visions now, but I'm sure you'll know after a few visions." I don't know about that, but Erik seems so confident in me. "Should we head inside? It's getting chilly." I'm so glad he says this. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get frostbite.
"Yes! I think Addie has some ice cream with our names on it." I knew Addie had been disappointed in Erik, but the three of us were friends. That's how I wanted things.
"Does that make me Ben or Jerry?" I playfully punch him in the arm when he jokes like that. He has the worst pun jokes. We walk side by sides to Addie's house. As if on cue, Addie opens the door, a pint of ice cream in each hand. She's carrying three spoons. We smile at her and she hands us each a spoon.
This is how it's supposed to be.