XXIII | TRAUMA
The bright white light faded, and Kael felt a sudden pang of pain in his chest. It wasn't like someone had hit him. No, it was a heartache Kael knew too well. A heartache of losing someone he loved the most.
Kael bit back the sudden tears that sprang in his eyes.
"What is this?" he asked, voice wavering, breaths uneven. "Why am I so...sad?"
Echoes replied. Where was he? He could only see an expanse of whiteness around him. There was no colour. Even as he looked down at his body, he could see nothing but the stale, lifeless brightness.
Then, as if he was in a dream, the white abyss filled with vibrance. A field of deep green grass swayed gently in the wind. But there was a melancholy that forbade the beautiful image to harbour any joy.
In front of him, two thick rectangular stones stood erect on the ground, the chiseled edges so sharp, one could probably cut his hand just by brushing against it. A beaded bracelet rested on one and a sword stood upright on the ground in front of the other.
The wave of sadness washed over Kael once more, and he knew — just knew — these were graves for people who were special.
"Oi!" a distant feminine shout garnered Kael's attention. He swivelled around to see a woman with long grassy green hair tied into a high ponytail running to him. As she drew closer, he could see the woman's face filled with sorrow...and hope. For some reason, the latter made him feel worse.
"I knew I'd find you here," she said when she reached him. "It's time. The emperor has offered us a place to honour our family's loyalty to him."
She spoke in a language Kael was unfamiliar with, yet he could understand everything she said.
"Come now. They are waiting. It's time to say goodbye."
She had unshed tears in her eyes as she looked at the lonely gravestones. "Your father fought bravely. Let's go. You've had your time."
As she walked away, the ache in Kael's chest grew. Then the desolate meadow faded away and morphed into a scene of chaos. Fire shot up into the sky, thick black smoke heavy in the air. Kael coughed and his eyes burned from the heat.
He noticed a man on the ground in front of him. Blood trickled down his face and matted his dark hair. The firelight reflected off of him, casting wild shadows across his face. He glared at Kael, fight still evident in his eyes despite his broken body.
"You think you can get away with this?" he spat at Kael. Kael could detect the heavy dialect distorting his words. For a moment, he marvelled at how well-versed he was in a language he'd never heard. "The Surutine Riot may be over, but there will be revolution. The emperor must die. You have become the emperor's dog. You are no better than he, and you deserve to die with your master. But...you are only a child. If you realise our cause and join us, you may be forgiven. All you have to do is lay down your life for us."
Kael found himself speaking before he could stop himself. His voice was that of a child's, yet he spoke like a seasoned warrior. "Your men raided my village, pillaged my people's homes, robbed us of our happiness. You will only bring chaos to this country."
The man laughed spitefully. "We saved you! This isn't over. Your village was only a small sacrifice for a greater good. You will understand when you are older. You will bow before a new emperor and a new age will begin!"
Before Kael knew what he was doing, he plunged a metal pike into the man's heart. Screams of pain echoed in Kael's ears. Fear and uneasiness settled in his heart. He threw down the pole and looked at his bloodied hands. Bile rose to his throat, and he forced himself to swallow.
"This is a price to pay for the emperor," he heard himself say even as horror of what he'd done wrestled in his mind. "To be a monster. For my family. For the honour of my village."
He felt his knees buckle and unwarranted sobs escaped him as he clutched the dirt below him. "What have I done?"
Tears fell from his cheeks to the blood-red dirt. Burning homes cracked and tumbled.
Footsteps of his comrades pounded on the ground. The woman Kael had seen before crouched next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I shouldn't have brought you here. You're too young for this...I'm sorry."
Her voice echoed into the distance. The vision abruptly stopped, and Kael stumbled forward, falling to his knees. He could still feel the pain in his chest, and he clutched it. The familiar marble floor filled his vision, but he could still see the life draining out of the man. The fiery creatures had dispersed, and a swish of a lab coat brought him back to reality.
"Um, are," Fugax fiddled with his fingers. "Are you all right? I'm terribly sorry. If I was here, this wouldn't have happened. The wisps tend to be quite overprotective of the archives."
Kael wiped his eyes before tears could escape. "W-what happened?"
"Have a seat. I'll explain. Y-you too, eh, uh..." Fugax's eyes flickered to Garun before he immediately dropped them to his twiddling thumbs. "Um, you too."
Once again, Kael was struck by how timid the librarian was. He wondered how Fugax could manage so many books when he seemed too fragile to handle the pressure of something as simple as saying hello. The young man was always a nervous wreck. Strangely, the only thought that crossed Kael's mind was that the anxiety was the reason Fugax didn't attend any classes despite being young enough to be a third or fourth year.
Garun had his feet planted, his eyes fixed on the ground. His fists clenched, and Kael could see the muscles in the boy's jaw tense.
"G-Garun?" he said, standing up. "What did you see?"
Garun seemed to snap out of his daze. He bore into Kael before shaking his head and taking a seat at the table Fugax sat. Kael followed suit.
"What happened to us?" Garun asked. "Why did I see...?"
"Oh, um, you see..." Fugax seemed flustered by Garun's forward tone. "Uh...When you anger the wisps, they...they make you relive your most painful memories. It-it's, uh, it's called visionary. Wisps have the ability to give you your greatest desires or your greatest fears. A long time ago, before wisps and humans made a pact, wisps had the tendency to trap humans in fantasies or agony. No one really knows why, and the wisps refuse to tell us. Visionary is a strange phenomenon that only wisps have. Scientists have been studying it for centuries, but they could never really figure out how they do it. Oh, um, I'm rambling. Sorry."
"But..." Kael looked at Garun, wondering if the latter had seen his nightmares. "Garun, what did you see?"
Garun remained silent for a minute. taking time to think about what he saw before giving an answer.
"Fire," he finally said. "In a large city. There was a woman and a little girl outside a burning house. A blighter attacked and engulfed them. Whole. And all I could see was a white hand...Then, your brother. I was in a farm, and I saw your brother leaving. It was..."
Kael felt his mouth dry. The painful memory he had buried for so long returned. The fear he felt as his own mother pushed him aside before a blighter could get to him. The way Kala's horrified screams mollified as her face disappeared into goopy blackness; the way her fingers wiggled before her hand was engulfed last. And then the pain of abandonment when he was too young to understand that Kly had to leave. To provide money for Lana and Hont.
"What did you see?" Garun seemed almost reluctant to ask.
Kael sighed deeply, letting his painful experience resurface as he explained. Garun withered further away from Kael with each description. By the time it was over, he seemed just about ready to hide away and never return.
"Strange," Fugax said, fixing his glasses. "So, your memories switched. I wonder why that is. Could it be because they performed visionary on two people at once?"
Kael shrugged. He wasn't too interested in why he saw Garun's memories instead of his own. He just wanted to shake off the feeling of sorrow and horror.
"Here," Garun said, putting down the flask on the table. "Doctor Blue asked us to bring this to you."
"Oh." Fugax blinked in surprise. "Th-thank you. It must be for my allergies." He curled his fingers around the flask, shaking its contents and cupping his hands around it like it was a precious gem. His long sleeves pooled over his wrists. "Thank you. If you don't have anything else you need to tell me, I'll be off now."
Fugax offered a nervous smile before disappearing into the maze of bookshelves; Kael suspected that the library was Fugax's safe haven. Garun's chair scraped back as he stood. He whirled around and left with purpose. Kael followed, rushing to catch up with him at the hall.
"Garun," he said. "Wait."
Garun spun around. In an instant, Kael found himself slamming onto the wall with Garun's forearm pushing on his neck, cutting off the air circulation.
"Listen carefully, Kael. It was a mistake helping you. If it weren't for you..." He gritted his teeth. "I want to speak of none of this, do you understand? From here on out, you are a stranger to me, as you always were. Don't talk about this to anyone, or I will make you regret it."
Kael could only nod desperately. His vision began to blur with tears. "O-okay," he strained to say. "Just...please..." He tapped Garun's arm.
Garun released him and Kael fell to the ground gasping for breath. Kael rubbed his neck and coughed. He stood and watched Garun walk away. In that moment, Garun's receding back held a heavy semblance to Kly's all those years ago.
Of a boy who's burden on his shoulders was too heavy for him to bear alone.
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A/N
So, I haven't updated in a week...Sorry.
Anyway, at least I got something out today, even though it's not Friday anymore...eh. Whatever.
So, this chapter was meant to give a little glimpse of the boys' pasts. Idk if I should keep it since I'm not sure if it contributes to the plot much, but we'll keep it and see where this goes.
I hope you enjoyed, and if you've read this far, you are a CHAMPION!!! :D
Bye!
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