Nikki's POV
"Oh, my God...is she..." She was so shaken that she couldn't even finish her sentence.
I shook my head and walked up to De. "No, she's not...she's just passed out." I picked up her head with my hand and rested my hand over her face.
"How do you know?" She whispered as she stepped in, her heals made a loud sound against the car floor.
"This isn't the first time she's been like that this, Liyah." I told her.
"Has she been drinking?"
"Yes," I lied. Well, partially it was a lie. I knew from the moment I saw her that she had probably passed out while snorting. When she got pissed or frustrated she got high and she seemed to have been pissed off many times during that day. She had disappeared in between all seven of the takes. I couldn't tell Liyah that because she was not supposed to know. Honestly, I wasn't supposed to know. But because I did know I had to keep the secret from everyone else. Everyone knew she had alcohol problem and they just assumed that all her strange ways was because of that.
The bruises and the bloody nose was a result of Wayne beating her. He had left not long ago. Just sped off in his Cadillac without a word. I thought nothing of it. She was slightly breathing, her heartbeat was slow. I stared down at my friend with a heavy heart. Why are you doing this to yourself?
"Hand me a water bottle." I told her.
Liyah's eyebrow immediately rose as she slowly turned on her heel to step out the van. Moments later she came back handing me a water bottle and a towel. "What do you need this for?"
I took the bottle from her without answering. I took unscrewed the top and began pouring it out her face, washing away some of the blood. She began coughing immediately. "Are you trying to drown her?!" Liyah looked absolutely terrified.
"No," I said. I took the towel from her. I didn't know what I was trying to do. Pouring water in his face was just the first thing that came to my mind.
"What the..?" De's sentence was taken over by her coughing. She began to sit up in the seat, glancing at us if we were ghosts. " What are y'all doing?"
"You passed out," I told her.
She stared at Liyah then back at me. She took the towel and began wiping her nose off in silence. "What happened this time, De?" I asked.
She shook her head, still trying to find herself back in reality. "H-he just....he just got...mad. "
"He's always getting mad, De." Liyah said. "That doesn't give him no right to beat on you!'
"Who said he was beating on me!" She snapped.
Liyah sat in the seat in front of her and crossed her legs, leaning forward in her face." We're not stupid, De." she said. " You can't keep trying to hide black eyes from, pretending like nothing's happening, De we know. That man's a low down son of a bitch!"
Liyah, shut up! I wanted to scream but the words wouldn't escape my lips.
"Uh-uh...Liyah..." De sounded as though she was weak. Too weak to go off on her like I was sure she was in her mind. "Don't say that, you don't understand."
" Understand?" She scoffed. " What don't I understand?"
" You don't understand the pressure....the..." She swallowed hard. " the pressure that he's been going through. "
"Pressure?" She retorted, laughing at what she had said as if it was so ridiculous. Liyah looked up at me mouthing the words: "Are you serious?"
I shook my head. " Just shut up." I mouthed back.
"H-he just got.....a lot...of w-worries right now, but I know he's sorry."
Liyah sucked her teeth. "So because of all the pressure that gives him the right to beat on you?!" I should've known she wouldn't listen. "I'm sorry De, but if that is what you are seriously thinking right now....you are making yourself look really dumb! If he is sorry, then is he sorry for all the other times too? De, you don't deserve this!"
I sighed and glanced around the dark van. The only light existed was the one from the full moon that existed that day in the night sky. "No, De this has got to stop!"
"What do you want me to do, Aj? Just give up on him when I know he's trying?" She asked. " Just give up on somebody I love, and not give them chances? That may be easy for you, but I'm not like that."
Liyah shot an offensive glare. " Excuse me?"
"I don't need you to tell me what I don't deserve! I know what I deserve so I suggest you stay in your place!"
"No, what you need-"
"I know what I gotta do, Liyah, and I don't need you tell me."She ran her fingers through her messy hair. " I just gotta help him get back on his feet and things between us is gone get better."
I looked up at Liyah who was frowning her eyebrows. "Just go, Li." I said. " I'll take care of her."
"You sure?" She looked extremely hurt by what she had said.
I nodded." This isn't the first time she's been like this."
Just then there was a knock on the side of the door. "Liyah?" It was Michael.
"Yeah?"
"Are you ready?"
Liyah looked at me. I gave her a reassuring smile then instantly remembered why we were there in the first place. "Hold on," I told her. I reached in my bag and grabbed a small box that was wrapped in white. " You can thank me later." I placed it in her hand. " Don't worry about, De. She'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" There was so much doubt filling her dark grey eyes.
I nodded and hugged her. "Go, okay. I'll see you tomorrow."
She nodded and turned to climb out the van. I turned back to De and handed her the water bottle. "What was she doing in here?"
" I had to give her her present." I said as I sat down next to her. " You need to lay down."
"She couldn't wait outside?"
I gave her a look." Really, De? That is not important right now. What's important is why we found you knocked out in here."
She sighed and shifted in the seat. " Me and Wayne got into it."
"No shit!" I said sarcastically. "What happened this time?"
"He was trying to talk to Janet!"
"What? That girl is only sixteen." I said. " And Randy and Michael would never allow Janet to even make eye contact with him." Especially Michael, Liyah told me he couldn't stand him.
She nodded with fierce agreement. " I know. We got in an argument and he hit me. I don't remember anything else." she began searching the floor of the car. " Where's my purse?"
My eyes widened instantly. " No, De you don't need that stuff right now, you need to be getting some rest."
She found it on the side of the seat. "And I will. After I do this."
I snatched her purse from her." No De, Liyah's right. This need to stop!"
"Did you tell her?!" she asked frantically. Her big brown eyes widened. Filling with anger and fear.
"No, I did not." I told her calmly.
Her expression softened." Oh, good...give me my purse."
"Denise...you're mother is out there right now."
"So?"
"What is she gonna say when she finds out her only daughter is throwing her life away to some coke?" It wasn't the first time I had asked her that question.
" She's not gonna find out!"
"But what if she does?!" I asked. "Look at your face! How are you gonna hide that?"
"Make up." She said. " Plus, It's dark out she probably don't even have in her contacts."
"Okay, well what about the drugs?"
The truck filled with silence as she stared at me intensely. It could feel her anger burning within my soul. As if I had just been sent to hell for all eternity. She broke her stare and looked out towards the ocean. "Give me my purse, Nicole." She said through her teeth. "Now."
I wanted to protest and tell her no. Just run and dump it all in the sand or something! Is what I thought to do, but I could only imagine the dramatic scene that would cause. I shook my head from side to side. " I hope you know what you're doing." I said as I reluctantly handed it to her.
"Believe me, Niks, I know exactly what I'm doing." She said as she took out her metal box and sat in her lap. " I don't even know why you're trippin' I'm not the only around here with a dirty little secret. " She began pushing it all in one line before picking up the little tube. " They all got one...including Liyah and Jojo." She bend over and sniffed up the first line. "You should seriously try this."
I shook my head. "No...I'm good."
Liyah's POV
I was laying on the bed. With my face mostly covered by the curls of my hair. Michael was massaging my back. He had said that I seemed a little tense and worn from that day - which was true, I was, but I was mostly strained by De. Seeing her that way in that car scared the crap out of me, and the fact that Nikki handled it as if it wasn't that big of a deal scared me even more. I didn't want to question anything. Honestly, I didn't want even care. I didn't to worry myself over someone else's pain. I just wanted to find myself and happy, and that seemed like it was nearly impossible to do. It was as though I was drawn to pain and hurt. As though I was drawn to the suffering of others. Like my world was only filled with darkness and mocking of others tears. I was happy, but only to a certain extent. I was done fighting through the pain, but some days I wonder whether or not I was done fighting through my tears. Today was one of those days.
My twenty-first birthday was fun until that happened. Finding my ex-best friend beat up in her van was the last thing I wanted to find. I'm pretty sure no one would want to find that. De was just - in my opinion - a fool in love. I couldn't even understand why she was allowing herself to believe that that man actually loved her. That he actually wanted to be with her. Everyone in our camp knew he was fooling around with other girls. They knew that he had been abusing De for two years now, and those people who know thinks that she's stupid as hell. She didn't see how foolish she was making herself look around everyone, and anytime I tried to tell her, she just didn't listen.
I felt his lips on the back of my neck, kissing me tenderly. I flipped my hair over my face and turned my head." What are you doing?"
" Have you been listening to anything I've been tellin ya?"
"No,"
"What are you thinking about?"
I rolled my eyes. " Just because I wasn't listening to you doesn't mean I have something on my mind." I said. " I'm just really tired, it's been a really long day. " I lied.
He climbed off of my back and laid down next to me. " I have a feeling that it's somethin' else."
"Well, you better hold on to that feeling because I don't want to talk about it."
"We will eventually, I hope you know that."
I sighed. " Unfortunately..."
He chuckled and moved some curls out my face. I sat up and kissed his forehead. " I'm gonna go take a shower." I said as I stood up from my bed and walked over to my dresser. I began pulling out some black and underwear and a new bra to match. Then pulling out his Mickie Mouse hoodie that I practically stole from him. " You know what I was thinking." I said as I picked up my bottle of medication.
"What?" He asked.
"That after I finish my shows and you finish filming that vid-" I stopped when I he gave me that look. " short film, we could probably go on vacation."
His eyebrow curled with curiosity. " Vacation?"
"Yeah." I grabbed my water bottle and washed down the pills I had just taken. " I mean, I've been living in California for almost five years now and I have not done one thing that's fun besides spending time with you."
He smiled at me." So where do you wanna go?"
I shrugged my shoulders, but held them at my neck as I screwed the bottle top back on. " I don't know. You've been living here longer than I have." I turned to him and leaned against the dresser. " I've never been to Disney World."
His eyes widened with astonishment. " Your kidding!"
I shook my my head, smirking.
"Really? Well, I guess I'll have to take you then." He said. " But I don't wanna go to the one here."
"Why not?"
"Because if we're gonna go on vacation I would want to be as far away from my family as possible, and Los Angeles just ain't far enough."
I laughed at him." Really? Maybe we should talk about that then."
"No, I don't wanna talk about it."
"We will eventually, I hope you know that." I said, mocking what he had said earlier, hitting his soft voice perfectly.
He laughed at me." Girl, just go get in the shower."
I smiled at him teasingly and skipped into the bathroom.
I sat there for a moment, allowing the water to release all the tension in my muscles. Always spent about thirty minutes in the shower just standing there because I loved the way the warm water fell against my bare skin. It relieved my stress. It took away my pain. It left me feeling energize. I called it my thinking closet. I found myself finding resolutions to some of my problems and making sense of things that just didn't make any sense before. I found myself not thinking about my mother, or thinking about De as usual. I found myself thinking about Leena's dad, Melvin.
He was the number one person I tried not to think about. Yet, here I was thinking of the man who changed my life. Who gave me all my fears. Who took away all the dignity that I had inside of me. I was only seven, I thought. A man who takes interest in a little girl must me sick minded. Did he ever think about what that would do to me? I snickered at my own thought. Of course he didn't, what am I stupid? What was going through his mind then? Surely, he was thinking about something while he held me down to that bed. And I don't mean just...him trying to get inside of me, I mean what was going one in the back of his mind? Did he have an conscience what so ever?
I wonder where he is now. Oh, I hope he's dead. If he's not I bet I'll probably kill him myself. For some reason that made me laugh. I knew I wouldn't kill him. That was just the Aj in me talking. I wonder what I would do if I ever saw him again. I may not kill him but I think he deserves to know what he did to me, and what he did to Aleena. He deserve to feel some kind of guilt for-
The feeling of hands crawling up my side causes me to jump with fear. I swung around ready to charge but he caught my hand before I could hit him." It's just me."
"Oh, my God you scared the crap out of me!"
He was laughing his butt off.
I scold at him. He could be such a kid sometimes and I felt a little indifferent about it. Sometimes it was cute, other times it was annoying - this was one of those times. "What are doing in here?"
"Taking a shower." He said, as if he was stating the obvious.
"You couldn't wait until I got out?"
"Nope, I would miss ya too much."
"But you're naked." A bewildered smiled stretched across my face.
"So?" He asked. " You act like you ain't never seen me naked before."
I laughed. "Well, I never actually seen it before." I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment and his was too.
"Well," He chuckled. "here it is."
For the life of me I couldn't stop laughing. I had a huge goofy smile on my face and I was probably looking like a complete idiot in front of him. When I finally brought myself to look down at it I cocked my head to the said. "Oh, it's...cute."
"Cute? That's all I get?!"
"What do you expect me to say? That it's long? Thi-"
"No!" He cover my mouth with his hand.
I moved it away. " Yeah that's what I thought." I said smirking.
He laughed and stepped closer to me. " You may as well get used to it," He moved a piece of my wet hair out my face and ran his finger down my jaw line. " because I am going to marry you, and we will have babies."
"What makes you so sure of that?!" I laughed.
He bit his bottom lip. " You have to ask?"
I felt myself shudder as I stared at his lip clamped in between his tip. It was a massive turn on for me. My smile grew wider, showing off my gums. " No, I don't have to ask." I reached back and pulled on his curls. " Yes we will get married, and we will have babies." I confirmed. "And I'm pretty sure that will be some crazy sex too."
His eyebrows rose. " What makes you think that?"
"Well, I heard that when a couple is trying to have a baby the sex get a little rough....and crazy."
He gave me a look that told me he was questioning my knowledge. "Where'd you hear that?"
"Um, certain people."
"I hope it wasn't Leena, cause she's just nasty."
I laughed. " She's one of those certain people."
He shook his head." I thought you didn't like it like....that."
"No, I don't like to start off like that." I was watching the water run down his body, slowly becoming aroused by what I saw. I bit my lip and tightened my grip on the towel bar.
A soft smile stretched across his face when he saw the look on my face. He too another step closer to me - now just few inches away from my face. He leaned in my and whispered. " You want me, don't you?"
My eyes widened at his provocativeness. I couldn't believe those words were coming from his mouth. I wrapped my hand around his bare back. " You have to ask?"
He looked at me and pulled my face into his allowing my our lips to meet. I lifted my leg allowing him to catch it with his hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him harder as I felt his erection come in between my thighs. Our lips broke apart and he picked me up against the shower wall, not waisting anytime going inside of me. He was starting off slow but the feeling was still there. Our breath became heavy until the feeling became too strong and we just couldn't hold back anymore. Our mouths touched each other again and they began making love also until the broke apart and our tongues began to wrestle with each other.
I never could understand that about him. How could he be so shy, so humble, but know how to love me so damn good. Oh, my God I thought I was about to lose it. My head was rolling all over the shower wall. Water was getting in my face, which I hated but I didn't care about it because my brain was focused on him and only him. Our mouth broke apart and he went to my skin kissing me all over while he continued to love me. Driving me insane as the pleasure began to intensify.
I am in love with you...you set me free...
We spent two hours in the shower making love. Even when the water went cold we just Stayed away from it and kept going on the dry end. After getting out and allowing him to help me tighten my bra straps I walked out the bathroom in just a tank top and underwear, but was in the process of putting his Mickey Mouse hoodie on. After flipping my still very damp hair out of the back I walked over to my drawer to pull out some sweat pants. Michael was laying on the bed with his hands behind his head. I eyed my journal that was sitting on my night stand remembering that I had some lyrics that was dying to write down. I thought I would write in the morning because i was becoming very sleepy as time dragged on.
With a yawn, I leaned over to step in to my pants bust stopped when Michael made a disapproving noise." Don't you dare put those pants on."
I looked up at him confusingly. " What?"
" Don't put those pants on." He said it slowly this time.
"Why?" I asked, standing up and crossing my arms across my chest.
"Because, I like to touch your legs?"
I rolled my eyes." Oh I forgot, you're a leg fanatic." I dropped them in front of me and crawled into bed next to him, getting comfortable between him and the soft comforter. He immediately placed his hand over my thigh but I jerked it back." You're hands are cold!"
"So are your legs." He said as he pulled it back to him.
I smirked at him and laid my head against his chest. " Can you turn the lamp off?" I asked.
He took my chin in his hand and pressed his lips against mine. " Goodnight, Dimps,"
I smiled. " Night, baby."
..I can't do this thing called life without you here with me....