It's Friday afternoon and I've done nothing but cry and eat. I'm not sad that I'm no longer in a relationship with Cain but I still cry I don't know why maybe because I'm weak, or because I'm lost I have no idea but I need to get my shit together.
There is a knock at Alleys front door. Today is the first day I've been along since I left Cain he hasn't tried to contact me and I'm not hiding but damn if I ain't scared right now.
I walk over and peek out the door hole, I see the top of a blonde head it's Tosh, my heart slows down a beat and I let out a shakey breath. I open the door, wait I tell her as she walks away. She turns, oh my gosh Italee she says hugging me.
You had me scared to death, she says after I tell her what I've been up to the past couple days, I told her about Cain. I don't want everyone to know but I do owe some people the truth and she is one of them.
"Axel has been out of his mind worried about you he went to your house and..." I stop her, "wait Axel knows? He's worried about me? I didn't even think to call him! oh gosh I'm so terrible I didn't even think I just sent in my replacement."
Tosh puts her hand on my shoulders, "love it's okay! he don't know everything but he is panicked I think you should call him. I have never seen him this crazy."
I didn't call him right away like I should have. I'm not even sure what to tell him or how much he knows and after that night at the club my feelings are just a bit more complicated so I did the next best thing and I text him.
Italee: Hey! It's Italee this is my new number. So sorry about this week I will get everything caught up Monday. you won't even know I was gone promise.
He responded right away.
Axel: What the fuck Italee! Where are you?
Italee: I'm around why? are you mad?
Why would he be mad at me? I always send in a replacement he likes.
Axel: well because my daughter is freaked out, my cousin was scared to death and after everything I was told you didn't show up to work!
Italee: Emmie is freaked out? You were told about what? I'm not understanding. I will explain everything when I get back on Monday.
Axel: not going to work for me babe, on my way dont you move!
I read that over and over he was coming here. How did he know where I was and why does he care.
Twenty minutes later there's a knock on the door. I'm a mess my black hair is piled up on top my head, I have on the baggiest white shirt and a pair of small tinker bell shorts, my face is pale and bare of makeup I'm a hot mess correction.
I swing the door open and there stand Axel, he is dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans with a plain white shirt I hardly see him in anything but suits not that he looks bad in a suit but he looks amazing in jeans.
"Axel you didn't have to come here I will be back Monday," I say eyeing him he looks pissed with a little relief in there maybe I don't know.
"You going to invite me in?" He ask. I step aside and let him in.
He take me in looking at me from head to toe he stops on my face and I look down. He places his hand under my chin lifting my face. I look at him trying to stop the tears threating to break through.
I don't want his pitty I already feel weak. I wipe at the tears on my face, "I'm fine" I say. He pulls me into his arms, "what the hell Italee" he hugs me. I stand there because I have no idea what to say finally he pulls me back and says, "now explain because I'm driving myself crazy."
"It's been a little over a year since this started, dont ask me why I didn't say anything or why I stayed I still don't know."
"How bad did he hurt you?" He eyes me. It's a lot better than last week I say to him. Show me he demands and I'm not sure why but I turn around and pull my shirt up, the brusing is no longer red and purple it's a blue green color and looks good compared to what it looked like a week ago.
"I'll kill that mother fucker" he says, I turn around "really he hasn't tried to contact me just please let this go." He looks at me like I have ten heads, "did you at least press charges." I looked down knowing he's going to be pissed. "No I don't want to relive it plus his dads the govener hes got to many dirty connections just please drop it" I all but beg him he has no idea what the Tipton family is like.
I pull down my shirt and he pulls me into him "baby you have no idea the things i can do, the connections i got but it's your choice for now, but if he even tries one time to contact or see you, I promise he won't make it out alive."
Just now sitting in Axel's arms listening to him talk like this I realize a few things one: I'm ending a relation ship and quickly falling for someone two:he keeps calling me baby and three: he threatened to kill Cain and after all this I feel so safe with him.
"Fine I say because I don't want to piss him off anymore," he is so serious right now it's kinda scary.
I have to get Em from school but I want to continue this conversation How about I take you to dinner Saturday night? he ask. How can I say no, "okay that sounds good." I say. He leans into me and places a gentle kiss to the top of my head, I watch him walk out feeling like I need more of his touch.
After Axel left I made a decision to get my self together, Cain will not take anymore from me he's taken enough. Im going home to mama J she will know what to do.
I pull up to the one story white farm house, we used to have all kinds of farm animals but after pal passed mama j sold half the farm now she only cares for horses.
I turn the engine off and take a deep breath telling her is going to be the hardest. I walk to the front door and take in the familiar smell of fresh cut grass and cedar.
I walk in and find mama in the kitchen she looks up, "there's my girl" she says with a giant smile that fades as soon as she took my appearance in.
"What in heavens happens to your face baby" she ask setting down her pans. "I'm so sorry I sob, I'm so weak" I shake my head." What are you talking about! She scolds, you are the strongest person I know," she says hugging me.
After an hour of crying and spilling my guts to mama j I was exhausted but felt much better.