Harry's POV
"For Christ sake Harry how many hams did you order?" Louis huffs as he helps me load the groceries I preordered over the phone so that I could just come by and pick them up.
"Three..you think it's enough? I was thinking of grabbing a turkey too."
"Three? Who else is coming over for Christmas dinner?"
"Besides Anissa's family? Just you and El."
"You'll be eating ham for weeks after this," Louis says shaking his head at me, removing his beanie to wipe the sweat that has formed at the top of his forehead.
"Are there anymore bags or is this it?" Louis asks me.
"There's a few more but I got it," I tell him grabbing the other cart,"Just grab the cake and get in the car."
"Whatever you say mom."
"Wait actually can you help hold the groceries from the bottom so they don't fall out when I close it," I tell Louis. He nods, putting the cake on top of the car before walking over to help me.
Despite all the rain and cold weather that has plagued the Los Angeles area for the past few days, today there is not a cloud in the sky, the sun out shining bright, the weather at a perfect 75 degrees. I couldn't have asked for better Christmas Day weather.
The bright sun lifting up my mood even after my late night run in with Emily. I've decided to brush her comment off. I know Emily has Anissa's best interest at heart, and she probably just thought of the last time Anissa was engaged, and went into over protective mode. Either way, nothing and no one can stand in the way of what I've already decided. I have the tattoo permanently inked onto my body to prove how serious I am about this, about Anissa and or future.
"You can take some ham back home for you and El after," I tell him climbing into the driver seat of my car.
"El doesn't like ham," Louis says, clicking his seatbelt on.
"Then I'll eat it myself," I tell him rolling my eyes as I back the car up. I hear something fall from the top of the car near the back, my tires running it over making me stop immediately.
"Louis what was that?" I ask him even though I have a clue.
"Shit..." Louis mutters hoping out of the car to look. I put the car into park and get out myself.
"One job," I tell him after seeing the squished cake, pulling his beanie down over his whole face before shoving him, "You had one fucking job, Lou."
"I forgot that I put it up there, what do you expect Harry it's seven in the morning," Louis huffs pulling the beanie off and adjusting it,"Can't we just buy another? I mean it's a butter cream chocolate cake with Merry Christmas on it...it wasn't exactly the most personalized."
"The whole point of ordering my groceries over the phone was so I wouldn't have to waste time in the store," I tell him.
"Relax. I'll go get it," Louis says before turning around and walking back in to the store. I let out a deep breath, climbing back into the car.
I rest my head on the steering wheel and remind myself that I can't let stupid little unimportant things ruin my day. I grab my journal from the middle console feeling thankful I brought it so I can at least utilize this time I have to write what I had planned to since yesterday. It's the very last page in my journal and I can't believe that it's finally the day that I'll finish it.
I stop writing for a second just so I can close it and admire how worn and used it is. This journal has helped me more then I ever thought it could. These letters to my little angel started off as a way to deal with the anger and depression that surrounded my life after I lost everything and it ended up turning into a safe place for me to share how I really felt.
These pages tell a story that I've spent nights regretting, and early mornings trying to forget. Which ever it was that I chose that day, regretting or forgetting, this journal still stood, with it's pages covered in my raw emotion, it was still there as witness to everything I had gone through to get here.
It wasn't just a coincidence that I had reached the very last page in a journal I'd been writing in since I was seventeen the day I planned on proposing. I chose today for that very reason. This journal that holds my darkest of nights, this journal I've depended on for so long to help me sort out my feelings, would end but it be okay because I already found the light I needed. Anissa.
Anissa's POV
I finish wrapping the very last of my families gifts, placing the roll of scotch tape down onto the made bed. I stand up from the floor I've spent half an hour sitting on, my legs feeling numb now.
Walking over to the window, I push open the curtain slightly to get a better look at the sun set. The warm colors doing nothing to make me feel better like they usually do.
"Anissa, what are you still doing up here?" Harry asks, standing in the doorway of our bedroom. I turn my head away from the beautiful sunset to look at the boy who's become a mystery to me,"We're all waiting for you."
"I'll be down in a minute," I tell him. I can't seem to break my eyes away from his calm, happy face. He's wearing a loose button down shirt with the upper half open, his hair brushed back, looking shorter then I remember it two days ago. I feel like everything else is moving at full speed and yet here I am still trying to comprehend the mess I have in my head.
"You sure you feel better?" Harry asks with a concerned look on his face, taking a step toward me.
"No, but I'm sure I will soon," I sigh.
"I've really missed you."
"I haven't gone anywhere," I tell him even though I know what he means.
"Well it feels like you have," He says looking down,"We're always together so these past two days have been...incomplete without you."
"Really?" I ask my heart swelling despite the hurt and angry I feel because of him.
"Of course," Harry smiles,"Nees, I love you and I love spending time with. If there was something I could do to guarantee that Id get to spend everyday with you, I'd do it."
I hold back a breath as my eyes widen, praying this isn't the moment that Harry decides to propose.
I feel relief when the door bell rings, because it completely throws Harry off guard.
"Did you invite someone?" Harry asks furrowing his brows.
"Yea I did," I tell him, slipping on my black pumps,"I invited Zayn."
The look on his face alone is enough to make me want to shake him until he confesses to his lie but I promised myself I'd bite my tongue until after dinner was over.
"Why would you invite Zayn? You know we don't get along," Harry says looking angrier then I thought he would.
"Because he told me he didn't have plans for today so I asked if he wanted to join us," I shrug, fixing my waved hair so that it goes over my shoulder.
"You should have asked me if it was okay."
Why?" I ask fighting back the anger threatening to burst out of any second,"Oh that's right, I forgot you've been avoiding Zayn."
"Huh? No I haven't," Harry says making a confused face at me.
"Oh so you finally answered his call then?"
"His call..?" Harry says momentarily forgetting his own lie,"Oh right yea his call, no I haven't talked to him yet. I'll just uh..just talk to him at dinner I suppose."
"I suppose," I say watching him and the way he's now become nervous.
"I'll go answer the door," Harry says quickly giving me a kiss on the cheek,"Come down stairs with me?"
I hold back the annoying tears threatening to fall down, as I nod my head yes following behind Harry. I can't think of anything more frustrating then the situation I'm in right now. I hate knowing I'm being lied to but again, I understand that Harry must have a reason he's lying. I'm so torn up inside because I know what it feels like to have people invade your privacy and pry, but there isn't any other way for me to bring this situation up without Harry knowing I've been doing just that.
"Zayn," Harry says dryly holding the door open,"Come in."
"Merry Christmas to you too Harry," Zayn says wiping his feet on the mat before stepping in.
"Everyone is out back on the deck," Harry tells Zayn before turning to me,"I'm going to start taking the food outside so we can start dinner."
"Okay."
"Maybe I should go," Zayn tells me once Harry is out of ear shot,"I really don't want to cause anymore problems then I already have."
"I haven't said anything to him yet."
"You haven't?" Zayn says sounding relieved.
"Not yet. I was just..waiting for the right moment."
"How will you know when it's the right moment?" Zayn asks looking confused.
"I just will," I shrug.
I lead the way to the back deck where everything is set up, Christmas lights hanging from the gazebo, a long table I've never seen before set up in the middle with a beautiful red table cloth over it, plates placed in front of each seat.
"Merry Christmas everyone," Zayn says waving hello to everyone.
"Zayn Malik, how are you, haven't seen you in a few years," my father says shaking Zayn's hand before getting into a conversation.
"Merry Christmas.My love, you look beautiful," my mother says walking over to me, giving me a hug.
"So do you," I smile feeling grateful to have my family here as a distraction,"And merry Christmas."
"Finally Nitza, geez we were getting ready to eat without you," Emily laughs.
"No seriously, I already started gnawing away at the ham," Louis laughs before giving me a hug,"But I guess the wait was worth it because you look ten times better then the other.."
"Louis," Eleanor says sternly,smacking his arm.
"I was sick, but I'm feeling a lot better now," I say sticking my tongue out at him before giving Eleanor a hug next.
"Well all the food is out you guys can start eating now,"Harry says laying out the last bowl of food onto the middle of the table.
"Wait, we need a picture first!" Emily says waving around her camera before setting it on the tripod.
"Quick everyone squish together near the tree!" Emily laughs,"We only have ten seconds."
Everyone is already in a position suitable for the photo, except Harry who's rushing over from the table. Emily clearly wasn't trying to have Harry come out in the photo most likely still feeling upset about the whole engagement thing. But none the less Harry still comes from behind and wraps his arm around my shoulder just as the flash goes off, kissing the side of my head before saying,"Merry Christmas Nees. This is the first of many."
"Merry Christmas," I repeat back to him.
"I love you," Harry says reaching for my hand now that everyone is making there way to the table,"Let's eat."
Emily and Eleanor seemed to have already hit it off, chatting away as they serve and scrutinize the food. Once every one has their plates piled high and their seats taken, Harry turns on some Christmas music. I grab the open seat next to Emily, across from Zayn, Harry sliding in next to me sitting at the very edge of the table across from Louis.
____________
"How's the food," Harry asks me after I've already finished half my plate.
"Really good," I answer. I haven't been able to eat anything but crackers without feeling sick so this meal tastes like it was made by God himself.
"I think it tastes like cat food that a gorilla's peed on," Louis says before putting more food into his mouth.
"You must be referring to the mashed potatoes you helped me make," Harry laughs.
"You made this dinner?" I ask Harry feeling surprised.
"Your mom helped me with the ham a little but everything else I made, yea," Harry says proudly.
"But you don't even know how to cook," I remind him remembering all those times he said he couldn't even make an egg.
"You just read the recipe, it wasn't as hard as I thought it be," Harry shrugs.
We all continue having light conversation, eating more then we should. I have about three slices of cake before I stop myself from having a fourth. By the time we've all finished dessert we decide it's time to open the gifts piled high under the small tree Harry set up near the door. The tree is oddly decorated with demented looking Santa Claus statues, and looks completely out of place out here on the deck. Especially since the beach right behind us.
And as much as I had wanted for Zayn to stay he couldn't because he said a girl he had been seeing for a few weeks now asked if he wanted to grab a beer at the local bar with her, an offer he couldn't refuse.
"Nees did you want me to go grab your gifts from upstairs?" Harry comes over to ask me. I give him a simple nod, returning to the conversation with Eleanor that I've been pretending to be engrossed in even though I could careless about the reality show she's ranting on and on about. I find myself feeling less talkative now that the night is getting later.
"After we open gifts we should all take a stroll along the beach to walk off all that food we consumed," Leo suggests rubbing his stomach.
"Great idea," Louis says taking a drink of his beer,"It's really a beautiful night out."
Harry returns shortly with a stack of boxes mostly containing gift cards and clothes since I wasn't really in the mood for choosing thoughtful gifts.
Thankfully I already had Harry's gift purchased since last month because I probably would have just gotten him a gift card as well with the way my brain was working today. Harry goes under the tree and begins distributing the gifts, everyone wearing blissful childlike smiles probably because they've all had too much to drink, well everyone except Emily.
A small pile has gathered on my lap while everyone eagerly tears into their gifts exclaiming 'thank yous' and 'your welcomes'.
"Aren't you going to open your gifts?" Harry asks me taking notice to my lack of enthusiasm toward the gifts.
"In a minute."
"I saved your gift for last," Harry says waving around the small package I wrapped for him earlier. He shakes it near his ear, like a child trying to guess their present, before finally tearing open the gift wrap.
"It's...a piece of paper," Harry pouts.
"Read it," I tell him remembering how excited I was when I first purchased the gift.
During a brief ,random trip to Canada Harry and I visited a planetarium and he was completed fascinated by all the constellations saying that he always wished he could have one named after him because he felt like a cluster of stars looked like an 'H'. That same night we rented a boat and went out on the water and just watched the stars until Harry finally found the cluster he was looking for. So after the trip,with a bit of research, I found this cluster of stars again and I purchased them, naming them after Harry.
"Is this real?" Harry smiles after reading the certificate.
"Do you like it?"
"Anissa you bought me a fucking constellation, I love it," Harry says hugging me tight," I can't believe you remembered what I said about those stars."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because we were both hammered beyond belief," Harry laughs,"We almost fell off that boat."
"Open the other box," I tell Harry remembering the other gift I got him.
"Keys?" He says flipping them over in his hand before pulling out the paper underneath and reading it,"A boat, you bought me a boat?"
"So you can look at the stars," I tell him suddenly feeling like my gift was a stupid idea.
"Thank you," Harry says kissing my cheek, hugging me again,"I love you. Before you get your gifts I need to say something."
"Louis turn the music down," Harry says,"I just wanted to say something to everyone real quick," He says in shakey voice making my heart quicken, something inside me telling me that this was it, this was the moment he was going to propose.