Heather's pov
Sunday morning finally comes and I couldn't be happier about it. My whole demeanor has changed day by day as the so wanted day got closer.
I could feel myself change over this week. Hope, some sort of happiness and this anxious feeling has been growing inside me these last few days.
Even though I'm still picking pieces of myself from the ground where I feel when I found myself alone, my mindset is completely different.
It's true we don't get better from day to night, but our attitude is a big part of the process and if we, ourselves, don't believe we'll get better, then we probably won't.
Am I totally myself again? No. I still have nightmares, it still is hard to fall asleep at night. But letting myself fall and go along the draining thoughts and just let darkness drown me, it isn't the best option. I was given the opportunity of a lifetime, I have someone who loves me beside me, and I can't just throw that out of the window.
I won't keep letting darkness haunt my days and I'll do everything to be myself again.
What happened these last four months, it wasn't me. I'm not like that. I don't give up that easily and I don't commit myself to decay.
Something that I learnt by living many years on a mental institution is that hope and our mental sanity are things that we have too keep save and alive.
For moments, I wanted to give up, but then Rocky came to mind. She would never let me give up. She wouldn't accept me just give up myself to demons and she would tell me to keep fighting.
So that's what I'm doing, or at least, I'm trying.
With the bedroom all tidy, I go to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. It has been a while since I last did this.
Turning on the radio, the sound of Freddie Mercury's voice echoes through the kitchen, putting a soft smile on my face. It's my lucky day. I don't even remember the last time I turned it on.
The coffee is ready and the pancakes are done. But when I'm about to sit down and eat, someone knocks at my door.
Letting out a sigh, I go open the door that reveals Rachel, for much of my surprise. He is probably the last person I'd see today and at my door.
A gasp of surprise escapes my lips and the man in front of me shows me a weak smile.
"I'm sorry for showing up without warning." He tells me. "But I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
"Sure. Come in." He enters and I close the door. "I just made breakfast. Want anything?"
"I'd do anything for a coffee right now." He replies with a light laugh as we walk to the kitchen.
Rachel takes a seat by the round table while I get him a mug of coffee. "Sugar?"
"Two cubes, please."
"So," I hand him the mug and sit down across from him. "What brings you here?"
His eyes are fixed on the mug as he swirls the spoon around and look up at me. The expression on his face is sober as he takes the first sip from his hot coffee. "It's about Sebastian." Surprised is that last word I'd use to describe my reaction. Of course it's about Sebastian.
I haven't seen or talked to him since that night he came to my house and shattered me like a rock does when it hits a window.
"What about him?" My tone might be a little bit bitter than intended. It's not Rachel's fault Sebastian was a total dick.
"I don't know where he is." At his words, I frown. "I haven't seen him for almost three weeks now. He would never return my calls, so yesterday I went to his house and he wasn't there."
"Maybe he was out to go somewhere."
"I thought that too at first, but then noticed some of his things were gone. Such as clothes and his guitar.
Stuffing my mouth with a piece of pancake, I look at him with a blank stare. What am I supposed to do? I bet he's not even gone.
"What do you want me to do?" I ask, maybe a little bit of rudeness lingering on my tone and words. And once again, more than intended. I don't mean to sound rude.
"He's your friend as well! Aren't you worried about him?"
A million of thoughts rush through my mind and I can't even choose what to reply first.
Sebastian hurt me so much, that a big part of me doesn't want to give a single fuck about him or where he went to hide his smart ass. He didn't had the right to tell me all those harsh things. When your friend is hurt, you help them come through and overcome, not push them down even more. And Sebastian, did exactly that.
You can't blame me for being mad and feeling hurt.
"I'm sorry, but Sebastian is a grown man, if he wants to take off for a couple of days without telling you, he can."
"I'm just worried. Last time I saw him, he didn't look fine at all."
"I appreciate your concern for him, and it warms my heart that you're such a good friend. But to be honest, I have better things to do than worry where a grown ass adult is."
"So you don't care?" Something about his tone, just sends me off, and I know he didn't mean to, but I just can't control myself.
"You know, I wasn't fine at all to and you know what your friend did? He hurt me and treated me like shit instead of helping me. Is it petty what I'm doing? Yeah, I know it is. But he fucking hurt me, Rach." I can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. The anger and the pain as the formula for them.
"Hey, Heather." His hand rests on top of mine and his eyes look deep into mine as I try to stay calm and not to break in front of him. "It's ok. I know you guys got into a fight. I don't know the reason, he never told me. But I understand you're hurt."
Before he can say anything else, I cut him off. "Then please, don't ask for my help to find him. If he did this either he wants attention or really just wants to be alone. He'll be back."
"Yeah." His eyes fall on the table for a moment and he takes the last sip from his coffee. "I'm sorry to have come bother you." Rachel sets up from his chair and I mirror his actions, following him to the living room, in the door's direction.
"You didn't." Before he can open the door, I speak again, remembering something it might help him on his search. "Have you tried his mom?"
Rachel turns around to face me. "No, I haven't. I don't know her number. Do you think he's there?"
"Hold on." I walk to the round table by the couch and grab the phone, marking the number that i know by heart since I was a child.
The voice of the sweet woman comes through the phone. This woman was the closest thing I had to a mother, because mine was everything but that.
"Sorry to bother you, Carla."
"Oh, you're no bother at all, sweetheart. You should call more often."
"I will." A soft smile takes place on my lips. "I just wanted to ask you, Sebastian isn't there by any chance, is he?"
"Actually, he is. I was not expecting his visit at all. He showed up without a warning." Carla tells me. So predictable, Sebastian. He always was a mama's boy. "Do you wanna talk to him?"
"No, not me. But I'm with a friend who does. Could you please pass him the phone?" I glance over Rachel and he has a blank expression on his face.
"Yes, Of course. It was great talking to you, Heather."
"You too, Carla."
I mention Rachel to come and pass him the phone.
Not wanting to hear their conversation, I walk to the kitchen to finish my breakfast in peace. While I eat, even with the radio on, it was impossible not to eavesdrop.
The man in my living room doesn't sound pleased at all with the act of Sebastian running away without telling anyone. Apparently, they had things to do because of the band and the spoiled Sebastian just took off when things weren't like he wished. So Sebastian of him.
"Thank you, Heather." I hear behind me and turn around, finding Rachel by the kitchen's door.
"Don't need to thank me." I send him a small smile and set up. We walk to the door and I open it for him.
"Are you coming to our Christmas party?"
"I don't know Rach..."
"Sebastian won't be there." He tells me with pleading eyes and I let out a sigh. "C'mon, it will be fun."
"I'll think about, ok? I need to talk to Duff first."
"Oh, is Duff back?"
"Not yet, he arrives today. We'll be spending Christmas together." As I say, he sends me a soft smile.
"That's great, Hetty. I'm genuinely happy for you and him. You need someone who treats you right and that loves you endlessly. And I can see he gives you just that."
"I wish you weren't the only one." I mumble and for his face, I can tell he understood what I'm talking about.
"You guys show up at the party, ok?" He says giving me a hug. "The guys miss you."
"Tell them I miss them as well." I smile and he nods at me, giving me a last goodbye before I close the door.
As the door is closed, I let a wide smile appear on my lips as I remember myself that the love of my life will be entering through this same door in a couple of hours.
And I can't just wait for my eyes land on that tall, handsome man with hazel eyes, a bright smile and bleached blond hair.
A/N: I do try to update on time i'm sorry. This chapter took me three days to write because college is a bitch :)
AND YES duff will be back next chapter
When last mouth i planned out the rest of this story, i had a total of 24 chapters. but now I had all these ideas it won't end so soon. So yey a story by me longer than 25 chapters. That's rare.
So, thoughts???
Heather change of attitude?
Rachel visit? Sebastian back in Princeton?
Duff coming back for Christmas? Theories what will happen next??
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