Before I walked into my room I had tucked Draco's scarf underneath my clothing so Hermione wouldn't see it. I didn't want to ruin her day by showing her how truly upset I was about going to our ceremony. When I walked in Hermione's hands were held in her hair, she was attempting to braid her bangs. She turned and gasped when she noticed me.
"(Y/n)! Where were you last night?" She dropped her hands taking me into a hug, this caused her progress with her hair to fall out. I hugged her back as I still felt that light from the enchantment flooding through me. I thought back on last night, on everything that I had done and shared with Severus. I couldn't hide the beaming grin that felt permanent on my lips. Just the thought of him seemed to have spread joy throughout my entire self. I only focused on all the positive outcomes and to be honest, I wish my brain worked like this naturally. If I even tried to think about him leaving or about what was going to happen to us, it felt like it was immediately ripped away from me.
"I stayed with Professor Snape last night." After I was done speaking Hermione stared at me, her eyes as wide as saucers when she took a hold of my shoulders. Her mouth was held slightly open as a half huff, and a half laugh escaped her.
"How was it?" She grinned as she turned to me. My face matched her expression as I fell on to my bed, letting out a romantic sigh of approval.
"It was bloody incredible." We both started giggling as Hermione sat next to my laying form.
"You seem so cheerful? I thought you would be an absolute mess today, I even prepared for it." She pulled out a small box of tissues and began pulling them out at super speed, letting them fly around the room. It was a never-ending supply. She really was the best. I laughed while I sat up and gave her a sideways hug, I watched the white tissue float around us until it eventually fell to the floor.
"Thanks for the thought, but I'm good." I drew out the word 'good' as if I actually meant it, which I did. But if I took off this scarf, I think I would appreciate those tissues a little bit more. Was it wrong for me to hide my emotions? Actually, the real question is- is it healthy? I had given Draco that gift to help calm him whenever he got angry... but to suppress yourself from a type of mourning seemed, wrong in some ways. Though, it did help... Hermione stared at me with a small smile displayed on her features. I stared right back at her, confused about why she was acting weird. It was only quiet for a moment before she explained herself.
"Was this just like... a long, drawn-out booty call?" She laughed as I softly hit her arm. I shook my head as I thought for a moment. It wasn't that at all... Severus and I had something much more special than that between us. Though for this situation, I'll guess I'll have to pretend it was nothing more than that. It should make it easier on myself in the long run.
"I guess so." I laughed as I thought back on how amazing last night was. If I closed my eyes I could imagine the way his body felt on mine. How his moist lips pressed into my skin and the sweetening smell that he carried with him everywhere. Hermione playfully rolled her eyes at me as she stood, walking back over to our mirror as she attempted to braid her hair again.
"Need some help?" I asked as she dropped her hands and let out a sigh.
"Yes please." I grinned as I helped her style her hair. The next hour or so, Hermione and I had helped each other become presentable for the gathering. It felt nice being able to spend this time with her, it actually helped take my mind off of him for the time being. Even though I wasn't feeling those dreaded emotions since there were only happy thoughts entering my mind. It felt nice to just not think for a while. It felt nice to feel... normal.
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The graduation ceremony was very long and very tedious but it actually didn't bother me one bit. I gazed around the room basically dozing in and out of consciousness, I don't think I got enough sleep as I intended to last night. As I zoned out I would steal small smiles and glances from Malfoy across the room. I believe he was checking to make sure I was still okay. He was the only person besides myself who knew how I was truly feeling right now. To be honest, I'm scared to feel that way again...
After each witch and wizard's name was called, we finally got to take out seats, sorted into our houses for the last time. Ron, Harry, Hermione and I all took our usual seats at the ends of the Gryffindor table. Again, just like on my first day of this year, I was sitting parallel to Severus. I could feel his eyes hovering over me, I tried my best to focus on other things. I didn't want him to see how much I was hurting... Or worst, I didn't want him to see how happy I was... because it wasn't real. Before our final meal at Hogwarts could begin, we had to have a final speech from the Headmaster. He stood, slowly waking up to the podium and then began to speak. It seemed like he had dragged on his words to have last forever, he went on and on about how proud he was and other things that I wasn't necessarily paying attention to. I looked across the room at the Slytherin table to see Draco had been staring at me. When he noticed that my eyes had caught him he smiled, lifting his hand and giving me a small wave. I copied his movements which had caught Hermione's attention. She turned to see who I was acknowledging and then looked back at me with a knowing smirk. I don't even want to begin to think about what is going through her mind right now. I kept getting distracted by Ron and Harry sneaking prank candies into Neville's drink, their stifled laughter kept pulling me away from what Dumbledore was saying. I was truly trying to pay attention, but I was tired and even though I was in one of the closest seats to him, I still couldn't get myself to focus. Perhaps it was because of my sleep deprivation. I watched Neville take a sip of his drink and watched smoke blow from his ears, I had to fight away my giggles as well. Ron and Harry looked around checking to see if they had caught anyone else's attention. Thankfully, anyone who would have scolded us didn't notice. I was completely submerged into their hilarious pranks, that is, until some of the Headmasters words finally caught my attention.
"Now, as I'm sure most of you already know, Professor Snape is being promoted for his outstanding hard work. In one year, he has shown his dedication to this school and I believe, deserves to say a few words... Severus?" Dumbledore's voice grew quiet when he turned to look at him. Severus looked nervous as he stood up and walked over to the podium. Which was odd, he never showed emotion that clearly in front of peers. Something didn't seem right, I hope he was okay. He cleared his throat as I realized I was growing nervous. I don't know why I was reacting this way, what was I expecting him to say? I took a deep breath as I tried to calm myself, rubbing my fingers against the scarlet fabric that was hidden around my neck. I was pulled out of my gaze as I felt something tug out the scarf into sight.
"I knew you were acting strange this morning," Hermione said as she pulled her hand away from me.
"You shouldn't be hiding your feelings (Y/n)... You could have talked to me." Her whisper's had shown concern as I held onto the fabric tightly.
"I know... I just need it until this is over. Then I promise I'll take it off." As I spoke I watched her press her lips together in understanding. Though her short outburst had caught the attention of both Ron and Harry.
"What's going on?" The red-headed boy leaned closer to Hermione as he spoke. I noticed Harry's blue eyes studying me like he was trying to solve a puzzling mystery.
"Is everything alright (N/n)?" I quickly nodded as I tried my best to ignore the situation Hermione had just caused. I put my index finger to my lips, hushing them as I secretly pointed towards the podium, suggesting for them to pay attention. I stared at Severus, his black robes hovering around him, his stern jaw set as he thought of what to say. For a moment, his eyes locked with mine and I felt a sad twinge poke my heart before it dissipated.
I'm happy for him.
TO READ THE DRACO ENDING SKIP TO CHATER 55 "I'M HERE FOR YOU"!
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This is where Draco's alternate ending begins! But just one chapter left for Severus! :) <3